A relaxed Christmas

I have probably never before experienced such a low key and relaxed Christmas. For enjoyment it rates really high; the ability to do what I wanted when I wanted, the lack of drama, the fact of being here in this beautiful city of Seville with the man I love. Of course, I missed being with my son, but I spoke to him on christmas morning and he seemed to be pretty fine – with his girlfriend and her family. Generally though I seem to have escaped, since my mum misbehaved at my brothers and this morning she put the phone down on me because I questioned the effort she put into putting other people first. The ex has been in touch by text, but mainly he also is keeping his distance; at last, thankfully.

Christmas morning sex. How wonderful it was to wake and for Master to take what is his and then to give back so much in return. When did I last have sex on Christmas morning? Did I ever before? Who cares, since this was a brilliant way to awake and to ease ourselves into the day. The previous evening as Seville settled into the silence of family time, the street outside our apartment had become silent and we had enjoyed a calm and pleasant evening – dinner, wine, a film and more wine. There were no last minute presents to wrap and no worries about what was to come.

The deserted street outside our apartment on Christmas eve
In the morning, once we had drunk our coffee we exchanged presents. Master presented me with a a new play collar, which seems similar to something I tried on when we were at Sexpo. We have yet to try it out, though I know it won’t be long before we do. My other gift from him was a vintage book: The Quest for Corvo, which I know I am going to enjoy reading. I also bought him a book and CD. The main thing for me though was being together in this lovely place. 
During the afternoon we went for a stroll in the sun. It was a warm afternoon. We walked along the banks of the Guadalquivir river and spotted this statue, apparently a gift from the people of Romania to the people of Seville. what it exactly is meant to depict is something of a mystery (what the long snake thing is to the right side of the first photo is, I have no clue), though we were struck by the whole thing! 
We ended our walk with a drink at a local bar, enjoying being out there in the sun and remarking on the difference in this day compared to a Christmas walk in the UK, often in the weak winter sun, or more often a damp and dull day. 
Later we went out for a lovely dinner in a local restaurant, again overlooking the river. On the way home we were invited to go into a couple of the more than likely seedy clubs that had suddenly appeared to be open – just shows the difference between day and late night in any area. We declined and went home to our own bed. 


On Boxing day afternoon we ventured out into Seville proper to see the Fine Arts museum. The building which houses the museum is an old monastery and is a beautiful place. The art was fine, the place a quiet oasis in a city gripped as many are the day after Christmas with shopping fever.

We escaped the crowds again by going into a posh hotel for cocktails – Gin and Tonic and enjoying a flamenco show. Then as we wended our way home we stopped in a local bar for tapas and wine. The perfect end to a relaxing and very happy Christmas.

Outside and within the museum.

Holidaying in Spain

The journey here to Seville took us 3 days, not because it needs to take us that long but because that was the kind of trip we wanted. The 24 hour ferry crossing was better than expected. It wasn’t until we got into Spanish waters that the sea became pretty choppy. Mind you it was cool and windy on deck, so we stayed down below for quite a bit of the time. That part of the journey was a time to begin to unwind from the stresses of the last few days at work and to relax a little, eat and drink. 

Santander was amazingly warm, around 22c when we arrived on Saturday night. Christmas there was in full swing, and everyone out and about shopping and congregating in the bars and restaurants. 
Christmas lights in Santander

Some interesting statues in Santander
On Sunday we headed south to Placencia, where it was decidedly cooler. But the hotel was wonderful and our room just amazing. Tired after a day’s travelling we had dinner and a nightcap before heading to bed. Then on Monday morning, after a wander around the town we headed to Seville.
Here in the Seville district of Triana we have an apartment and have now settled in as we prepare for Christmas. We plan an evening in tomorrow after some sightseeing and have a restaurant booked for Christmas day. 

Nativity scenes are the thing here. This one was in an apartment hallway!

One sleep

The little christmas tree is packed along with my clothes, shoes and everything else. I need to add one of my plugs, which I know Master will want taken along.

He texted this afternoon to say that he has packed both clothes and sex toys, but that he was now moving onto more important things  – his books, if I know him. You really have to love the style of the man. I also have my books, some sewing and I will have my blog to write along the way.

It’s funny how when you plan a trip it seems so far away, both in distance and time. Then suddenly with a flurry of activity it is upon you. This week has flown by – Sunday lunch for the family, an evening with my mum, on the day that would have been my dad’s birthday and then yesterday when I missed the office party to go and buy my toiletries and other things at the supermarket and got stuck in some awful traffic. Work has been hectic. Until today which was suddenly calm and ordered until 3pm when I realised that a set of minutes hadn’t been typed up by my admin.

Now though all that is done.

I am pretty much ready for my Christmas with Master.

Let the fun begin!

My favourite British Christmas song!!!

3 Sleeps

On Friday we leave for our holiday in Spain. This year my Christmas will be different from usual, there will be no turkey or tinsel, no real tree and no family fun or indeed arguments. But there will be Master and His girl enjoying time together, there will be tapas and wine, there will be Spanish culture, there will be times to relax and recuperate from the pressures of work and life in general. Hopefully there will be lots of kink.

Getting ahead of yourself so that you have sent all of your cards during the first week of December and have bought all of the presents before the second weekend is challenging. But here we are on 15th of the month and the last few presents have been delivered to a place from where they can be transported to their intended recipients.

Work has been busy, but there is light at the end of that tunnel too, just as well as there are just two more days left to work, only one of which involves being in the office the entire day. Tomorrow is the Christmas party, but I am still undecided whether I want to go. I still have a pair of new shoes to collect from a department store (don’t you love click and collect?) and my toiletries to buy from the supermarket.

But all of the washing is done and for the first time in maybe years the ironing basket is empty. All that is left really is the packing and then to leave for our trip.

I intend to post here during the trip and since I will have more time to do so and hopefully more kink to write about, that is a promise.

Until then, I give you my Christmas tree offering for this year. Apologies that the first looks a little drunk. The second tree  I am taking with me!




It’s December

After a flurry of activity around here in November, I seemed to run out of ideas. Plus, the arrival of December has meant a step up in activity at work and at home. Today though is much less fraught, in fact today is proving to be a wonderful day of relaxation and recovery.

Master and I take it in turns to spend weekends at each others homes, this weekend is my turn. Four days a week at work and the 5th spent running my mum to various shops, as well as my slimming club and an invariable encounter with the ex means that these weekends are something precious. Unless something special is planned, we tend to do little; get up late, a leisurely coffee then lunch, more sitting around, dinner and drinks, some TV or a film. These for me are perfect weekend days.
Everyone else seems to be spending December days out shopping, battling against the ever present pressure of spending all of their money for a perfect Christmas. I know this to be the case, because I myself have been there. 
This year though I have pretty much done it all. I have written and posted my Christmas cards. I completed this task early because I needed to tell some people about the end of my marriage and the changes to my life. Last year I didn’t send any cards, I wasn’t feeling in the mood to cope with dealing with that kind of reality. This year though I feel in a much better place. I have also pretty much bought all of my Christmas presents. I have had a couple of trips out with my mum and have taken advantage, plus I have bought a few things online. All that is left now is to wrap things up and put them somewhere ready to give to family. You see, this year there is no tree to store presents under.
This year Master and I are going to be away for Christmas. In just under 2 weeks we set off for Spain, where I will spend 3 weeks and he 5!. This is one reason for my hyper organised state – Next Sunday I am hosting a family dinner for my mum, son and girlfriend and niece and nephew. Pretty much all of the presents can then go off with them and then there will be just a few days to get ready and pack before we leave. During that week I will be working and there will also be an evening at my mums for what would be my dad’s birthday and my work Christmas ‘do’ (if I can make myself go). 
Christmas in Spain will be completely different. Our days will be much more like our weekends here, except we will be able to get out and about in the warm sun. We will find ourselves in some lovely buildings, we will eat tapas and drink wine. The big difference is that from 18th December there will be no fraught Christmas preparations, and no last minute shopping trips. Of course, it means no family Christmas, but as I have told my loved ones, there will be other years for that. 
The great thing is I am pretty much already ready and it is only 5th of December!


An evening and a night with Master and my inner calm is restored. The stresses of the past few days have gone and all feels good with the world.

Christmas is one of those times of year I both look forward to and am kind of glad when it is over. This year, it was difficult to get into the right frame of mind, for a few reasons. It is only 3 months since we lost dad, I knew that I would have mum with me and that my brothers would be working on and around Christmas. This also is the first year when hubby’s and my separation is almost complete, but still not everyone knows about it. For this reason and for the first time, I sent almost no Christmas cards.

Another difference this year was my son’s plans to spend part of the holiday time with his girlfriend’s family.

My mum is improving, she is becoming more independent and a little less demanding. It is of course early days, but I do feel that progress is happening. There are times when I feel stressed by just being in her presence. This is not a new feeling, but it is made worse by that absence of my dad. He was a calming influence on us both. So the knowledge that Christmas day would just be the three of us and then boxing day would be mostly just mum and me made me feel anxious even before it happened.

In the main, though, it has been fine and between us we have been able to enjoy the time together. I have also found that I can  let go of my son, who at almost 24, it feels is now a proper grown up – he is planning to move in with his girlfriend over the next few months. It is interesting though how cooking a Christmas dinner for 3 is very similar to cooking one for 10 or 12 (other than the quantities of food). There were practical reasons for missing my dad – he would have been there to wash up the pans as we went along and he would have carved the meat. Of course we also missed his presence, his little sayings, the way in which he so enjoyed those family times, enjoyed a drink and just filled the room by being there.

So we have passed the milestone of a Christmas without dad, we have found that a quiet Christmas can be just fine and gradually mum is finding her independence.

It is safe to say that next year will be one of change again for me, hopefully change that brings happiness. Hopefully too I will have Master around to keep me calm and to stop those stressful times getting to me too much.

I enjoyed Christmas, but I am kind of glad it is over.

One to forget?

For the first time in 30 years, hubby and I have been apart this Christmas. Indeed I have not seen him for 6 days. In that time, there have been a number of texts and one, quite unpleasant phone conversation on Christmas morning. I have spent time with our son, he and I have spent time on Christmas day with my parents and on boxing day with hubby’s family.

From Christmas eve morning until boxing night I felt very low. Probably worse than I have felt for many months. I wasn’t tearful like I was when S told me things were over between us in the summer, but I just felt low. Felt that everything was a chore, too much effort. But, because I am a reasonable actress and because I hate people being sorry for me, I pulled myself into shape and got on with things. My son and I exchanged presents on Christmas morning (a lopsided exchange of course), he gave me a lovely hug and was very attentive. Then we set off for a quiet Christmas day with my parents. When we arrived, unknown to me, I had been assigned the task of cooking Christmas dinner. I don’t remember being asked, but as ever, I got on with things, and this year it was a small event. Later my teenage niece and nephew arrived and we played some fun games. I went to bed feeling somewhat happier than I had in the morning.

On boxing day evening we went off to a family party hosted by hubby’s parents. This was an awkward event. They asked me about what hubby was up to, when he had decided to help the homeless etc. I know little of what he has been up to and as far as I know he decided to help the homeless so he wouldn’t have to face his and my family at Christmas. Still I pulled it off and my son told me later I did a good job.

So tomorrow, hubby is apparently putting in an appearance. I am hoping we can at least have a small amount of family time. This is part of my desire, from son’s tone of voice when I told him, it is not his particularly. But we will see.

I am hopefully heading down to visit S for new year. I hope that this will help me gather the emotional and physical strength to face the things I need to in the first few days of January. You can’t act in the way hubby is now and expect things to return to normal (no matter what he may think).

My new year hope is that I have some very kinky things to write about on this blog by this time next week.

Change ahead?

Hubby announced at the end of last week that he wouldn’t be spending Christmas with us. Instead he told me that he will be helping the homeless at a shelter in London. He told me that this is something he has always wanted to do. I really want to believe that this is true, and perhaps it is.

However, he has told me a number of (what I think are lies ) as part of the story. He has told me that he will be staying with a friend in London, a male friend. He has told me that he is not seeing anyone else.

Last night he was staying not in London, but somewhere else. I don’t know who he is with, but I am sure it is not a male.

It is almost time to force a change, I just need to decide when that time should be.

I don’t deserve to feel cheated, since I was the one to cheat first. But I do.

He has been incredibly upset about the lies I have told him and now he is lying to me.

The greatest sadness is that he doesn’t feel able to tell me the whole truth and that is a shame.

I feel glad that I have my family around me who are being very supportive and I feel glad that I have S to provide additional friendship and support.

I think this will be a bit of a strange Christmas.