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An advent diary

Advent calendar

Opening my eyes in the dim early morning light, I reach for my phone. Several messages await, but my focus is on the time and date. 08.00, December 25th. I’m alone in the bed and I have time to luxuriate in the warmth, the space and the peace before family arrive later. Today will be something different – parents, grown up children and partners. Nothing like the 24 days of advent.

1st December

I was in a coffee shop. Bill and I chatted we waited in line. He didn’t tell me his name right away, but he thoughtfully told the Barista when he ordered his latte. By the time we left the shop and went our separate ways, he had my name and number. More of him later.

2nd

I’ve been seeing James for a few months and he called round after work. He is under the impression that only full on naked sex in a bed is being unfaithful to his wife. I really should end this thing, especially given the way my ex treated me at the end of our marriage. Trouble is, James knows his way around a woman’s body and gives fabulous orgasms. His tongue action on my clit is to die for. What’s more he has great taste in champagne and always arrives carrying a bottle or two.

3rd

Dinner with my good friends Tom and David. They are in a relationship with each other, but not averse to flirting with me. Nor looking every man in the restaurant up and down to decide who might make a suitable partner for me. Or at the very least someone who looks to be a good fuck opportunity. A hilarious, if a little rowdy evening. It’s probably as well we don’t get together too often.

4th

I bumped into Steve, list in hand, as I browsed the salad isle in Waitrose. Strange really, because when we were married he was more of a Lidl or Aldi man. But I guess Sandra has an eye for quality when it comes to vegetables at least. Thankfully he was in a hurry, so the encounter was short.

5th

My boss, Gavin called me into the office to tell me our directors were really pleased with the project I recently completed. He thinks I might be in line for promotion in the new year. It’s weird really how my career has come on since I stopped being some kind of appendage to Steve. I don’t always feel massively confident about myself, but people like Gavin and his boss have been a great encouragement. Looks like 2020 might be a good one after all.

6th, 7th, 8th

Bill called last night and we met up for a drink, which led to dinner which led……… I really don’t usually sleep with men on the first date. I tend to be more cautious than that, but….. He has one of those riverside apartments and I went outside to take a look while he opened a bottle. He brought blankets out and we sat for a while chatting over our wine. Then he leaned in for that first kiss and before I knew it we were naked in his bedroom. Next, he was telling me how beautiful I am and I was running my hands up and down his greying chest hair. He is pretty fit for 55. The sex was really something. It’s funny, until recently I had no idea that there were men out there who actually know how to please a woman. And that they want to do it.

Next morning he made us breakfast, before we went back to bed for a few hours. I’ve not done anything quite this crazy in…… well maybe forever.

When I left for home on Sunday night my cunt was sore from being stretched by his very generous cock and to be honest my jaw aches a bit too. I’m already a bit addicted to sucking him off. I knelt before him while he sat on the sofa; I’m not sure I’ve done that before either. But it felt right somehow.

Work tomorrow though, so home it is.

9th

David put me on speaker phone in the car so Tom could hear. Damn those two have an instinct for these things, because I hadn’t expected to hear from them this side of Christmas. I’m to update them after the weekend.

10th

Away with work. After the events of the past week, I made my excuses after dinner and went to my room. A bath and TV was all I needed. I’ve no idea what time Gavin and Paul turned in, but there was football on in the bar anyway.

11th

Bill called me as I was driving home to ask if I’d be up for going to an adult club at the weekend. Another new thing for me to encounter in my 50’s. This really is turning out to be the decade for me. We discussed BDSM and his dominant side last weekend, I was surprised though not shocked. I’ve read some great erotic novels, just not thought about getting involved. He says we can just go and watch and I’m up for that, so I said yes.

12th

James texted to ask if he could call round, but I put him off. Maybe I should end things this side of Christmas.

13th – 15th

I’ve done it again – spent the entire weekend with Bill. I’m now considering taking a day off in the week to get stuff done. That includes my Christmas shopping.

But what an amazing time. Plus, my first spanking. I hadn’t expected to want to strip off down to my underwear at the club, but it happened. Everyone was so friendly, explaining about the equipment and how it felt to play. Bill kept me close to him while we watched and then I actually asked him if we could have a little go. I could tell he was really pleased I’d asked. And I found that having your bottom spanked, then flogged is really very arousing.

The sex back at his place was something else. As he removed my knickers he exclaimed at how wet I was. He told me how proud he was of me and do you know, it made me feel all the more aroused. It’s almost like I’m turning into someone else. Or else maybe the real me is emerging.

16th

I told James it’s over. Strangely he didn’t argue, but then I haven’t been returning his texts and calls. Especially at the weekend.

17th

Christmas shopping day. Thankfully I managed to get everything done before heading round to my parents for the evening. The only man in my life today is my dad and it’s great to catch up with him. They are looking forward to Christmas and I am too. I’m also wondering just what next year will bring.

18th

David and Tom summoned me for impromptu drinks. We went to a bar just up the road from my place. I spilled the beans on the spanking, I think I might have shocked them a bit. Of course, they want to meet Bill. After Christmas I said.

19th

Office party. I had great fun dancing to the old Christmas hits with the girls from our team and pulled a couple of the guys up to dance too. But I didn’t have a drink tonight and drove home. I want a clear head for tomorrow.

20th

As the family are coming to me this Christmas, today was my last day in the office this year. Gavin and I exchanged presents and I bought a few gifts and cards in for the team.

Tonight Bill came over to me for dinner. I am definitely falling for him, Sadly he has family stuff on tomorrow and so couldn’t stay. But I’m seeing him on Sunday.

21st

Food shopping and then a quick coffee with my son and his partner. Present wrapping to Christmas music and an early night. Sometimes you just have to do it.

22nd and 23rd

Bill and I went Ice skating in London. This is just the kind of fun and stupid thing that Steve turned his nose up during our marriage. He wasn’t even keen on taking the children out to places like that.

We drank mulled wine and ate mince pies then walked along The Embankment arm in arm. He can do the romance too. This man might end up being a keeper.

I stayed at Bills, something that’s becoming a habit – a very nice one at that. We talked about some of the things we might do together in the coming weeks. He gave me a couple of books to read, stuff about Dominance and submission. I promised to report back to him after Christmas. I won’t see him now till next weekend, but we’ll speak on the phone every day.

Christmas Eve

I got a bit behind with preparations as I was reading one of the books Bill gave me. The more I read, the more I realise that I am a submissive woman. How I yearn to have someone provide me with control. Apart from the great sex, Bill provides a quiet leadership, makes me want to please him. But also he is open about his wants and desires and somehow has allowed me to open up about my fantasies in a way I’ve never done before.

It feels like I’ve been opening a virtual advent calendar and have somehow reached Christmas Day as a new woman. How unexpected.

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Masturbation Monday
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#SoSS Celebrating sex bloggers

Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2019

I really don’t write enough #SoSS posts. I’m not great at noting down the great posts as I read them so can’t always remember highlights. This has to be another of my 2020 goals – more sharing other people’s shit.

This week, the eagerly awaited Top 100 Sex Blogs was announced. Sponsored by Chaturbate and compiled by the wonderful, very hardworking Molly Moore it is surely one of the highlights of the sex blogging calendar.

New Voices

Of the 8 New Voices for 2019 I am already a fan of several, I may well love the others, but just need to go read them. Two favourites for me at the moment are as follows: Francesca Demont has burst onto the scene with her beautiful latex clad body. But also her writing has been stunning, the St Petersburg series of posts had us all waiting with suspense for the next instalment. Deviant Succubus‘s writing came to my attention when picking out the Masturbation Monday picks recently. Since then I’ve been catching up on her kinky life and beautiful fiction.

Top 100

I was thrilled to see two of my favourite bloggers and partners in crime (Food 4 Thought) take the top two places of the main list. Floss at number 1 writes fabulous heart felt real life pieces, holding nothing (or very little) back. She is also a talented fiction writer and is one of the best sex bloggers around. Much the same could be said for May More and their scores must have been very close. May has been very open about her past life and loves and trauma. But clearly those experiences have helped make her the brilliant writer that she is.

The quality of the writing and photography on our blogs is vital, but so is the site structure. Both Floss and May’s sites are easy to navigate and striking to look at. This is something I plan to concentrate a bit more time on next year. While I like the way my blog looks, it feels time to change. Plus, I’d like to make it easier to find stuff – I struggle myself at times.

However I am proud to have moved up the rankings this year to 32 from 56. This is my second year in the top 100 and I’m aiming for something closer to top 10 next year.

One for the best things about the list is the discovery of blogs you didn’t know existed. Better than that, blogs that will hopefully become new favourites. I’m off for a read and will highlight some others on the list in my next #SoSS.

The whole list is below:
1 Floss Does Life _floss_84
2 Sex Matters May_Matters
3 On Queer Street OnQueerStreet
4 Poly.Land PolydotLand
5 Brigit Delany BrigitWrites
6 Girly Juice girly_juice
7 Temperature’s Rising
8 Mx Nillin MxNillin
9 Ms Eve Adler MsEveAdler
10 Not So Sex in the City notsosexintheci
11 Naked Wanderings NakedWanderings
12 Tabitha Rayne TabithaErotica
13 Focused and Filthy
14 Cara Sutra thecarasutra
15 My Controlled Ascent kisungura
16 Kelvin Sparks kelvinsparks_
17 The Beautiful Kind Kendra Holiday
18 Submissy 5ubmissy
19 Coffee and Kink coffeeandkink
20 Climaximaal.nl electricluna
21 Hey Epiphora epiphora
22 Little Switch Bitch _littlesbitch
23 Pain as Pleasure bibulousone
24 Cara Thereon thereon_cara
25 Annie Savoy asavoywrites
26 Tess Tesst jay_tesst
27 Scandarella ella_scandal
28 Super Smash Cache supersmashcache
29 Purple’s Gem PurplesGem1
30 Miss Ruby Reviews MissRubyReviews
31 The Other Livvy theotherlivvy
32 Master’s Pleasing Bitch MPBjulie
33 Phallophile Reviews PhallophileRev
34 Princess Previews PrincessPreview
35 Backwoods Bedroom bkwoodsbedroom
36 Victoria Blisse victoriablisse
37 Exposing 40 exposing40
38 Jayne Renault jayne_renault
39 Penny Berry littlepennyber1
40 Love, Violet fireandhoney
41 A to sub Bee sub_bee
42 Posy Chruchgate posychurchgate
43 Tall, Dark and Dominant darkanddominant
44 Toy for Sir toyforsir
45 Sweetgirl’s Journal sweetgirl_mrh
46 Holden and Camille h_and_c_dot_com/
47 Innocent Loverboy innocentlb
48 Anne Stagg annestaggwrites
49 Blue Submisson bluesubmission
50 Submissive Feminist SubFeminist
51 Kitten Boheme kittenboheme
52 Kinky & Nerdy kinkynerdy
53 Miss Scarlet Writes MissScarletUK
54 Betty Butch betty_butch
55 Joanne’s Sex machine and Sex Toy Reviews joannesreviews
56 His Lordship HisLordshipuk
57 Objects De Plaisir objets2plaisir
58 Isabelle Lauren RomanticIsa
59 Cleareyedgirl _Masterseye
60 Knkstriped ZebraRoseSub
61 Love and Lust in London LoveLustLondon
62 Happy Come Lucky ht_honey
63 Exhibit A A_unadorned
64 E. L Byrne Writer ELByrne1
65 Forbidden Writings Charlton_Tod
66 Modesty Ablaze ablazingmodesty
67 Nicci Haydon NicciHaydon
68 Rain De Grey raindegrey
69 Rocket Girl Writes Space_Dame
70 The Aqua Kink The Aquakink
71 Steeled Snake steeledsnake
72 Lippenbekenntnisse
73 Pretty Pink Lotus Bud prttypnkltsbd
74 Dildo or Dildon’t Makeupandsin
75 Lessons in Kate KateLessons
76 Tug Bro
77 The Joy As It Flies The Joy as it Flies
78 You Won’t Tame this Sassy Cat SassyCat38
79 Ria’s Writing riarestrepo
80 The Lustful Empress
81 Liz Black X
82 Kilted Wookie’s Naughty Hashtags
83 Pieces of Jade piecesofjade
84 Krystal Minx BisexualMinx
85 Miss D
86 Love is Fetish Darling Nikki
87 Our marriage
88 Lascivious Lucy LasciviousLucy
89 Chronic Sex chronicsexchat
90 Asrai Devin asrai
91 Morag’s Moist Musings MoistMusings
92 Witch of the Wands WitchofTheWands
93 A Kinky Autistic kinkyautistic
94 Cripping Up Reviews
95 Hannah McKnight HannahTGirlMN
96 Nessbow
97 Femdom Ramblings from a submissive male
98 Emmeline Peaches Reviews EmmelinePeaches
99 Melody Insights Melody
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Books of my childhood

Inside pages from the book Mrs Cockle's Cat

I loved reading as a child and still do. I bought books with my pocket money and borrowed them from the library. At Christmas I often received a book or two from various aunts and uncles as well as grandparents. They usually wrote inside the cover so that you knew they had bought them for you.

This week’s Food 4 Thought is about One Book from our childhood. Goodness me, what a tough task. There were and still are so many. I kept many of my childhood books and now have them on the shelves in my little office. They sit among my adulthood favourites, books on nursing and leadership and many more. Including books my son discarded at the end of his own childhood but I can’t bear to part with. That includes a number of Roald Dahl books. I still have Enid Blyton famous 5, What Katy Did, Little Women (and the rest of the series). More contemporary books (from the 1970s) like It shouldn’t happen to a vet which became All Creatures Great and Small. But the book I wanted to talk about – The Girl in the Opposite Bed by Honor Arundel.

I don’t know where it has gone, but am sure I wouldn’t have thrown it out. Maybe there’s another box in the garage I haven’t unpacked yet. This was a book about a girl who is in hospital for a week or two. While there she encounters a girl she doesn’t like at first but whom eventually becomes her friend. But I can’t remember the exact story and can’t check it since it is out of print.

That book helped to define me in terms of my future career. Because after reading The Girl in the Opposite Bed I moved on to books about nurses (especially the Sue Barton stories). As well as others about people who were sick or injured. I must have been a fun loving adolescent!

One book I still have, that is older than The Girl in the Opposite Bed would be is Mrs Cockle’s Cat by Philippa Pearce. This is important not because of the story, though it is a good one about an elderly lady and her cat. But because I was given it as an award at primary school. I wrote a story and won a book.

Since then I’ve continued to write, but mostly for my own pleasure. As I’ve mentioned before I used to write stories in longhand as a teenager and young adult. But until I entered the Smut Marathon in 2018 I hadn’t submitted my fiction to any other competitions. Over the years I’ve lost my confidence in writing fiction and I no longer find it as easy as writing non fiction. Thinking about it, I’m maybe just a bit out of practice.

Next year I’m going to be much more specific about my goals. Later in the month I’ll publish those goals and writing fiction will be amongst them. Because if I could win a prize at around 10 years of age I’m pretty sure I can write something worth while at 57.

F4Thought
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Fantasies

Me from the back, wearing leather harness and spanking skirt.
An early picture of me in harness and spanking skirt.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what might be. Then I started on this journey of Dominance and submission, BDSM and self discovery. This whole blog is really about fulfilling fantasies. Some have exceeded my wildest dreams and some have been less thrilling. What’s left to do? Well nothing I dream of but maybe there are things to do anyway.

Sex that is like in books

By the time I was 49 I had had one sexual partner. Dull, but true, and in 2012 I decided to take the plunge and seek more from my life. I’d read about great sex in erotic and other fiction as well as magazines , but didn’t know if it was true. Turns out my sex life was definitely lacking, though not everything you read is true either. Men don’t come 5 times a night, well not when they are in their 50’s anyway. They have way more stamina and the men I discovered knew their way around a woman’s body. Of course, I was lucky with the ones I found.

Within months of my first encounter with S I’d had sex outside and then later a foursome. These were both things I’d thought about and imagined.

Later it turned out that good sex wasn’t everything. So having come from someone who loved me but was dull in bed, I now discovered that I needed both. Plus I dreamed of a proper D/s relationship.

A power exchange relationship

I’ve read a lot of books about BDSM and power exchange relationships in particular. I love the fantasy element and am happy to suspend reality in many cases. It is a shame that so many feature billionaire men who discover a young woman they have to tame and train, before falling deeply in love. But now and then there are books that are more realistic. I wanted to experience life with a dominant man, become his sex object, but had no desire to spend my life kneeling naked at his feet. In any case I had a job to hold down and a son still living at home.

Master is quite low key in his power exchange expectations. So low key that you hardly notice what is happening. The extent to which dependency occurs and you find yourself deferring to him. Of course, the process has been a long one. 5 years in February. But from the beginning there were signs – the reference to myself in the third person, his control of my orgasms and ownership of my body.

I often wonder if I am truly a slave, after all I am pretty unruly, though never truly disobedient. I am bad at calling him Master, except in the bedroom. But when I look back at the person I was at the beginning, he has helped me modify my behaviour. I am less likely to jump in to a situation and take over. I let him take the lead most of the time and now relish that fact. He usually asks my opinion but he makes the final decision.

BDSM fantasies

I’ve had the opportunity to try many experiences over the past few years. Things that people put on their fantasy lists – bondage, forced orgasm, piss play, electrical play, the vac bed, to name a few. We’ve played in public, which is something I always wanted to do and will continue to. I’d like to attend more CMnf events and perhaps ones that require a higher protocol. It certainly wouldn’t do me any harm to be a proper slave for a few hours.

But really I am at the stage where I am just happy living an ordinary life with my partner. Yes, it is a bit different from other people but it’s generally tame. But tame in a fun way.

One final thing

It has never been my fantasy to have sex with another woman, I really am heterosexual. But actually I do wonder if I should be braver and just let it happen. I know Master would enjoy watching me with a woman and it might be fun. The opportunity is there and I am conflicted about whether to take it.

You see, some of the things I have done weren’t actually fantasies until just before I did them. Or else not until I read about them and then thought why not. Plus I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to miss out. So, we’ll see!

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Stop apologising!

Image says: "Saying sorry"

Last week I had a hospital appointment. They hospital uses an electronic booking in service, a machine that then gives you a receipt. Only last week it didn’t. There was no one at the reception desk so, assuming I was checked in we just sat down and waited. And waited. When we had been waiting for an hour past the appointment time I went to the desk. It turned out that because I hadn’t been to the dest, even though I had booked in via the machine I was assumed not to be there.

Thankfully I got to see the doctor who apologised and complained at the stupidity of the system. The nurse also apologised. But, do you know what I found myself saying how sorry I was that I hadn’t realised and how sorry I was I hadn’t gone to the desk. They, of course, told me to stop apologising.

The trouble is I often can’t help apologising for things that aren’t actually my fault. For some unknown reason the word sorry slips out of my mouth too often. I don’t mean when I’ve done or said something wrong and need to apologise. But when someone else has done something to me – walked into me, stood on my foot or accused me of something I haven’t actually done.

I’ve been wondering if any of this has to do with my naturally submissive personality. My desire to please to make people happy? And, I think it might. No one has told me I should apologise more, but plenty of people have told me to stop.

I’d say that since I’ve been putting myself and us first, it has happened less. I do still say sorry to my mum when I can’t visit as much as sh wants. But other than that there is no one close to me that I need to apologise to. That means that when I find myself saying sorry to someone who has wronged me, they are likely to be unimportant in my life. Not to say that seeing the doctor last week wasn’t something that needed to happen. There is something about those kinds of situations that can make us feel socially inferior. However I have been to that clinic and seen that doctor a few times. What’s more I have been in professional meetings with him (though he doesn’t remember me). So it really isn’t that.

Writing this post has caused me to reflect on my propensity to apologise and I am going to try to do it less. To reserve my apologies for times when I really do need to say sorry.

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I am thankful

In the UK we don’t have a Thanksgiving celebration. But that’s not to say I don’t think it is important to express thanks for the people and things in my life. So, I am thankful to have the opportunity to join in with the Erotic Journal Challenge prompt for November.

Health

I saw the oncologist yesterday and am now on six monthly appointments between surgeon and oncologist. My first annual mammogram was clear and I am fit and well. I just need to get as fit as possible for the planned surgery some time next year. I take a daily tablet, which gives some irritating side effects. But nothing that I can’t manage. I am grateful for everything the health professionals have done over the past year and am very happy to be able to look forward fewer appointments.

Family

As Christmas approaches I am thankful for my family. I am looking forward in particular to spending time with my son and daughter in law. They celebrate a year of marriage at the end of the year – where has that time gone? We are going to spend a day at my son’s in laws, which will be something new.

My mum continues to cause me stress and irritation, but she is in reasonable health and I am grateful for that. One of my brothers causes untold anxiety and quite a bit of pain. But the other is a great support and we have become closer over the years. I am also looking forward to seeing some (if not all) of my nephews and nieces.

Master

I can’t describe how thankful I am that we found each other when we did and that we have the relationship we have. My life is good (as I write often) and I have few complaints. We have fun, visit new places and explore our kink sides as much as we can. But also we have settled into a life together and for that I am really grateful. Without him, I don’t think I’d have got through the cancer thing as well as I did. I know he is anxious about my operation next year, but is committed to helping me through as best he can.

Friends

I am so pleased we are able to attend Eroticon next spring. For a while I wasn’t sure we would. The most exciting thing is that many of the people I call friends from blog / twitter and previous Eroticons will be there. Not only that, but lots of them are speaking, which will make the choice of which sessions to attend even more difficult.

Before Christmas we are travelling to Amsterdam to see our friend their, I’m really looking forward to that few days away. We have an airbnb booked this time and I think it will be lots of fun.

Blog

This blog brings me so much pleasure. I’m so thankful I started it all that time ago, it really has given me a special place to call my own. Without the blog I doubt I would have met and become involved with such a wonderful community. This month I have had my largest ever number of visitors and views. In no small thanks to this photo, Molly and Sinful Sunday.

Blogging has become my passion this year so much more than it was. Partly as an outlet when I was feeling tired and fed up. But also as the means to exciting new opportunities. I’m planning something – an offshoot of this blog if you will – in the very near future. Once I’ve sorted the technical stuff I will say more. Plus I plan to make changes to this blog, in terms of it’s look and feel.

Finally I am in planning mode. As I said in my last post, I have realised I need to set goals and be more organised in my planning. So I won’t just say I’m going to do something, or more of another thing (like writing fiction or submitting posts), but I am going to actually set objectives for doing them. So watch this space for some of that too. The best thing I did in recent months is to join the Smutlancer community – I am really grateful to Kayla, Molly and all the other smutlancers for the encouragement and support.

Thank you too to Brigit Delaney for the Erotic Journal Challenge and this prompt.

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Multitask?

Hardly! I can barely do one thing at a time.

That is partially true. I am better at being efficient and effective when I focus on that thing and get it done than when I try to do 2 or 3 things at once. But of course life doesn’t allow us the luxury of concentrating on that one thing and then moving on.

Work, managing a family, social life and blogging all require attention. But if I don’t work out what I need to do and get on with it, I am likely to try to do everything at once. Not literally perhaps, though I do often have several windows on my laptop open at once and of course there’s that important WhatsApp message to check. Next I remember I promised to call my mum and then there is the washing to take out of the machine. (Break here while I go and do it).

Planning

The secret to being productive is planning. I started the year with a fabulous planner and faithfully planned out whole months and then weeks of activity. For about half the year this worked well. I kept track of appointments (lots of them at hospitals), social events, birthdays and my blogging plans. But then life got busy, I took some paid work and things went wrong. I concentrated on the project (I did the planning) and got that done. I still managed to blog, but found it difficult to find the brain capacity for both. Next I went on holiday. Since then I’ve hardly planned anything other than in my head. Appointments are in the diary (often put there by Master), but blogging is more haphazard.

Multitasking in the way I have been doing lately is tiring. Keeping most plans in my head is crazy as I am not doing things in the right order. Plus I am forgetting important (though small) tasks.

Goal setting

When I finished work last year, I had all sorts of plans in mind. To have a prolonged break from the stress of the workplace. To travel and to write. I wanted to see if I could make money from writing. None of this stuff was written down, which is why I got the planner. But I hadn’t factored in the small issue of discovering I had breast cancer and requiring treatment and recovery from it.

Now though I am ready to set goals again and to plan the coming weeks and months. I have a new planner for 2020 and I am going to use it.

I’ve just listed to Molly and Kayla’s latest podcast about setting goals as well as other’s recently about planning and planners. So in theory I am ready. I have ideas I want to put in place, new exciting projects I want to embark on. This week I have found myself steaming ahead to do one of them, only to be stymied by internet problems. This led to multitasking in a way that is not efficient and fruitful as I tried to sort it out.

But while at a classical music event last night I worked out what I need to do (I find piano music particularly useful for this). Set goals and plan. Then do.

You see, as I said at the top, I can’t really multitask. I can barely do one thing at a time. So I will leave multitasking to those who can.

During the writing of this post I drank tea, put the washing into the tumble dryer, went in search of my laptop lead and checked a news story online. Plus chatted to Master who has just returned from the shop.

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Bedroom talk

He has a great way with words. I guess it is all the reading he does, plus his linguistics education. He tends to tell me what he thinks about my body and our sex life in English, but could easily do it in French or Spanish. Our bedroom is a fun place to be of a Sunday morning.

“I wanted to have sex with you the first time I met you” He told me, not for the first time. Looking back to the beginning is something he loves to do. “I felt your tits though” Indeed he did. Plus he pressed his hard cock against me when we kissed. It’s no wonder I was round his house the following afternoon. Though we didn’t have sex until the week after as he played with me instead.

He starts to suck my nipple. “what are you doing?” I ask “Just noshing down on your tit” comes the reply between sucks. I lie there thinking how middle class public school that sounds. He speaks well: upbringing, education. Not estuary like me! I love it when he swears or says dirty stuff, it sounds fabulous coming from his posh mouth.

“I’ve had more sex with you than anyone else”.

“Well we’ve had a lot of sex”, I reply. That is very true and I’ve had more sex with him than anyone else.

“You’re a better fuck than C” (a former sex worker he used to see and who is now a great friend of ours). This also pleases me greatly, perhaps I am pretty good at sex.

“Don’t tell her” I say.

“I might” he responds and we both laugh.

Anyway, in the past he has told me that I am the best fuck he has ever had. I believe him since he doesn’t have to say stuff like that.

“You’re mine” he says just before he goes down on my cunt.

“I’m definitely yours and no one else” I say. But also think, ‘and you are mine’.

Then we fuck and there’s little to say for a while. I do love Sunday morning in our house.

Masturbation Monday
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Definition

On the new shelves installed in our living room last week is the dictionary section (yes this is something of a library). But I hope this picture doesn’t completely define me.

While I love posing for him and was happy to do so in front of the new shelving, I’m not happy with this body. I don’t want it to define me.

So, I’ve made changes this week, which I intend to continue. My struggle with weight and body image continue. But for now, this is me and I am happy and proud that he loves to photograph me as I am.

Sinful Sunday