Blogging A-Z 2018: T and U

First day back from holiday and suddenly yesterday I had lost my blogging mojo. The discovery that I am shadow banned on Twitter just added to my apathy.

Twitter

Somehow over the past couple of years I have become more and more engaged with Twitter as a social media platform. I find myself going there when I wake and again many times during the day. My posts auto tweet and during the day a couple of older posts appear. Some days I tweet quite a bit, engaging with others and other times not.

I have no way of knowing whether this behaviour alone has led to Twitter taking against me or if it is the photos. After all, the photo below, which appeared as part of my post on Sunday is pretty graphic. But since Twitter don’t admit shadow banning is even a thing, all I can do is surmise. Still it will make my SoSS all the more pertinent this week.

Undertake

Finally I am in a position to realise my objectives. At last, after more than 4 years of talking about selling my house and moving on from my marriage it is in touching distance.

Now, the hard work must be undertaken. What to throw away, what to put into storage, what to take with me. Master has cleared out a lot of clutter, but there is still work to be done. Also, he is planning some building work, so I can’t take all of my belongings straight there. Plus there is the emotional attachment I have to this house, I have lived here for 27 years. We moved here when my son was a baby of just 5 months and so there are lots of memories here.

But now is the time to move on and to create a new home, one with Master. We will both need to adapt to our new life and to make room for each other. But it will mean we can be together and can start to plan some new plans and work on those outcomes. It also means I am going to resign my job soon and take a breather. The next few months will be emotional, but interesting and fun too.

Offered and taken

In my April A-Z post for O the other day, I wrote about offering myself to Master. As we arrived back from the pub last weekend Master took the photo shown in the post as I offered myself to him.

Next I stripped off and kneeled before him. He then took was is his.

 

 

Sinful Sunday

Blogging A-Z 2018: O

We are currently on holiday in Spain and so the next few days posts will have a relaxed, holiday type feel to them. Situated in Seville, where the Feria is currently taking place. We have already seen the girls and women in their flamenco finery. The men in suits and the horsemen in their sombreros. I’m hoping that I can be creative with this week’s letters to suit.

O is for offered

Since I haven’t yet created the material for those posts, today’s is about what is offered to Master.

During the usual day to day life we lead, it is easy to forget who I am to him. Rushing about being the manager at work, or the daughter to my mum, takes its toll. But there are quiet times when we are alone and I am reminded. Times when I remember to offer myself to him. Generally when my body is offered, he takes it. The photo below demonstrates the offer and Sunday’s Sinful Sunday will show what was taken. Come back Sunday (when we will be travelling home) to see.

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: N

Naked

He likes to see me without clothing, naked so he can look, admire, touch and to feel. I struggle with my own nakedness in a place that isn’t bed. Indeed for many years I didn’t even go to bed naked. When my son was small and I got up to him at night, but also before that and afterwards.

These past years, since I have known Master though my confidence at being naked has grown. I wander around the house naked, but then often I am alone there. In front of him too I rarely cover myself before dressing, except perhaps in a towel.

I know he would like to see more of the undressed me. He would like me to sit beside him on the sofa, naked while he is dressed. He would like me to go about my house work, perhaps some nude cooking. But something stops me from taking that final step. Partly it is the weather, even with heating it can feel cold in the house. But mostly it is because of my own image of my body.

I am all for being body positive, unless that body belongs to me. I have recently gained much of the weight I have previously lost. The cause is something of a mystery, other than I clearly eat more calories than I burn off. I plan to try to rectify things and until I do, I hate the sight of my body more than usual. However, even after losing the weight I had struggled. So, perhaps that’s an excuse.

Perhaps I just need to do more of what he likes and wants and take off my clothes until I am naked. Hopefully the weather this summer will lend itself to such a thing.

Blogging A-Z 2018: K&L

Kink and Limits

There is a place on Fetlife where you can list your kinks or as described there, fetishes. Those available range across the spectrum of those related to domination and submission, through pain, degradation, humiliation and so on. Just reading through posts there, blogs, books and comments on social media it’s possible to find out about those kinks and how people fulfil them.

What is clear, is that everyone is different. What works for one person, couple or group really doesn’t for others. But just because you come across something you wouldn’t want to do yourself, doesn’t make them wrong. Nor does it mean you have to want to try everything, after all everyone has limits.

My approach all along this journey has been that I have a few very hard limits when it comes to kink. Thankfully most of those are the same as Master, which makes life easy. These include blood, scat and anything completely illegal. I have one that I described to him at the beginning of our relationship that he has respected. It might seem odd, but I will not dress up in any nurse / medial related out fit. I am a nurse and as such will not bring my own profession into disrepute by degrading the uniform. I have no problem with others dressing as a sexy nurse, I am just not doing it.

All other limits I might have, or have had in the past are soft. This made it easy to give up decisions about those limits to Master once we agreed our power exchange relationship. He has a number of kinks that aren’t necessarily mine, but I am happy to embrace them. One of those would be water sports. Given a choice I wouldn’t initiate peeing on him or being peed on, but have to admit I don’t dislike it.

My journey to submission, slavery and kink has been one of great learning. We have explored our fantasies as well as things we knew we enjoyed. There have been things we have done once or twice and not repeated, and there are others we rarely do but would like more time to explore.

The fun and enjoyment we have together in the bedroom or play room are part of what makes our relationship special. It stops life getting dull and helps us learn more about each other along the way. I am glad I found kink and explored my limits and that I have him to help me do so.

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Blogging A-Z 2018: H

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

H is for His

He cals her girl. This girl; His girl
He is her Master, her Lord and she His slave
She is His slut, His cum puppy. He controls her orgasms, they belong to Him; His.

He is her owner and she His property
People may find this difficult to understand but for her this is fact. She is His to love, to hold and to control.

Her body is pierced for His pleasure; nipples and clitoris. Her pleasure is His to have, to hold and to control.
She wears a collar, His collar. This is a sign of her slavery of His ownership, that she is His property.

She is His Bitch, Master’s Pleasing Bitch

 

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: F

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

F is for Family

I have wonderful memories of times spent with family. The oldest of 3 children, our home was busy and noisy. Friends or other family were often around as we grew up. My maternal grandmother was one of 9 children and so even though both my parents were only children, we had a large wider family. There were many weddings, christenings, birthday parties, more weddings, christenings and finally funerals to attend.

Once grown up and married my siblings and I along with spouses and children congregated at my parents house for family events – Christmas, birthdays, Sunday lunch. But as time went on and we had our own friends it all became a bit too much. There was an expectation by my parents that we would be there for those special occasions. Little thought was given to the fact we might instead want to visit inlaws or go out with friends. Everything was taken for granted.

Until that is things began to fall apart. Within a year of each other my brothers’ separated from their wives. Family occasions were immediately different. When they met new partners my parents were disappointed that things did not revert back. Our children were growing up, my nephew and son away at university, the other children often with their mothers, friends, or other family. My own marriage break up and then the death of my dad in 2014 seemed destined to cause us to drift further apart. We all found the absence of our dad difficult to handle and my mum’s needs threatened to cause conflict rather than to bring us together.

My mum’s move earlier this year means she is living close to the older of my 2 brothers. Perhaps is may help bring us all together again. We are  beginning to communicate more effectively and to enjoy family time again. This hasn’t yet led to the whole family getting together at her new place yet, but perhaps it soon will. All her grandchildren (bar the one who has been abroad for almost a year) have visited, some of them at the same time. Due to the distance we are making more effort. Adult family life is not the same as that of childhood, and being middle aged ourselves means it is different again. But I do believe we all recognise the importance of making the most of time we can be together.

Blogging A-Z 2018: E

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

E is for Equilibrium

It would be wonderful to say that I am firing on all cylinders and that my life was in equilibrium. But I am not sure it is.

So many good things have happened to me over the past few years. Unhitching myself from a marriage that threatened to over power and unhinge me and then finding the  man who I wish to share my life with are just two. Indeed the stressed and emotional woman I was in 2014 when we met is no more. I am happier than ever, clear about the person I am and clear where I am heading.

But still the same things trouble me. My ex hasn’t given me the final things I require to break through. The house remains ours rather than theirs because his new partner hasn’t sold her place. Plus we remain married in law.

These are two areas of my life in which Master will not intervene. So it is up to us. I despair at my inability to force action despite numerous conversations. Apparently her house has been valued, but still I must wait in final stasis.

Last year I blamed my mum because she hadn’t moved house. My brothers’ because they didn’t pull their weight. But those things no longer ring true.

Equilibrium for me and for us will be found when we are free of my ex, my house and everything that goes with it. I know we are close, just not close enough.

I am beginning to wonder what needs to happen next to make our dream a reality. To allow me to move in with Master and to let me resign my job.

I need equilibrium in my life. It is within touching distance but now quite close enough to be reality.

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: C

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

C is for Collar

My collar is a key symbol of my role as submissive and slave to Master. It is a constant reminder that he is my Owner and my Lord.

I am not the easiest person to be the Master of, because I am not scared of giving my view and often this comes across as ‘being bratty’. Something Master is often telling me. I aspire to be a better slave, but can’t help but say things that get me into trouble.

But wearing a locked collar, one that needs a key to unlock it, helps. It reminds me of who I am as it rests there against my collar bone. Made of titanium, my collar looks heavier than it is but I can always feel it. Sometimes the back of my neck becomes unbearably warm and I swivel the collar round to cool me down. This is very useful for the menopausal woman, which of course is what I am. I rarely remove it and since it doesn’t set off any alarms at the airport it stays in place even then.

Very few people know the significance of the collar, but they do admire it. Only when we are out and about with lifestyle people, such as at a munch do people know it’s meaning. I love that the people I encounter at such events know that I am Master’s property. And that makes me feel proud and also it helps with my submission.

My collar is a very important part of me and of our relationship.

TMI Tuesday – Sexy Secrets

Sexy Secrets

1. Do you have a special place you like to have sex regularly?

Most of our sex takes place in or on a bed. Though the living room floor does feature. In general, comfort is the thing.

2. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The scariest?

Probably keeping my mouth firmly shut about the type of relationship I am part of. It isn’t that I want to tell people my business, but it would be much easier if I could be more open.

3. Are you annoying?

I am pretty sure I can be very annoying. When I get anxious I talk too much with those I know and too little with those I don’t. It makes a social gathering unpredictable!

4. A person whom you’ve had “the hots” for a very long time tells you they are super attracted to you. You spend a few hours together and the sexual attraction is overwhelming. You are dying to have this person as your lover. At the moment you are highly aroused, and he/she wants to have sex with you in a church, would you do it?

Not sure I would have sex in a church. Might, and have got up to some reasonably naughty things in one. I guess if I really had the hots for someone, then spontaneous sex might happen. Just maybe not in a church.

5. While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?

Probably. I have said and done some equally crazy things. I am a submissive don’t you know.

Bonus: Are you good in bed?

Ask my Master, he’ll tell you………

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!