His voice (and other things)

I don’t think we spoke on the phone before we met. I’m not even sure we had a voice conversation on MSM (remember that messaging service). Our conversations, and there were many during that week or so, were all text. But on the basis of the things that were said, we met. It was a pub and it was a Saturday afternoon.

Sitting in that pub, with my diet coke (I needed to keep my wits about me and hadn’t eaten) we sat and talked. I probably spoke much more than him. Nerves will have given me verbal diahorrea and I tend to have a lot to say anyway. I can’t remember if I was turned on by his appearance, but possibly not. There was definitely something about him though, his hand on my leg, the smell of him and his voice.

In the most, Master is softly spoken and to me his voice is a little deeper than you expect. He is a slight, slim person but when he opens his mouth there is something about the tone that stops me in my tracks, even now. With the cultured English accent of someone brought up to speak properly, he pronounces his consonants. There is little more sexy in my book than someone speaking dirty in a posh English accent. He knows a lot of stuff, he is (scarily) well read, attended one of the top universities and is intelligent. I love just listening to him speak. True to say, mind that I sometimes drift off and forget to actually listen.

Sometimes too he says things I disagree with, we don’t share the same politics for example. But we can get around that because we have the same values and some how manage to compromise.

Accent, tone of voice or other verbal cues from another can be attractive, sexy or the opposite. But a relationship is never going to develop on that basis. Master doesn’t have a toned and muscly body, he has the thinnest legs of any adult I have seen. But he is strong, fitter than he looks and has a very nice cock, plus he knows how to use it!

He is kind and considerate, looks after me but also keeps me in check. He tells me he finds me sexy and that I turn him on, just at the time I feel worst about my body. There are some irritating things about him: he has to check out facts before he believes the expertise of others and sometimes he still prefers his own view. He gets sidetracked easily so might not get things done quickly. Sometimes he can be brusque, say something another might find offensive – a case of mouth before brain. But I know his heart is in the right place and that he can probably discuss himself out of the hole he has dug.

I never believed I would find another man to be in love with. Master has taught me so much about our dynamic and helped me find out who I am. He has shared his love of books, music, film and travel. In return I have given him myself and my submission, not to mention the benefit of my own wisdom and interests.

My instinct that February day 4 years ago has proved right. I didn’t foresee we would still be together let alone that I would be about to move in with him. But I am and these are just a few of the reasons why.
Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Sunny Sunday – Curly Hair

Last week I had planned out my Sinful Sunday based on the prompt week ‘wheel of fortune’ picks. My spins were toys and mirrors. At the same time, the current Kink of the Week is tails. This I decided was an opportunity not to be missed. Only miss it I did.

Regular visitors will know that planning and then following through are not my strongest points. The planning is often great, but getting round to doing things, less so.

The weekend was a busy round of visiting my mum and staying over, gardening and then a massive bedroom / clothes sort out. Thank goodness my weekend was 4 days or else I’d never have managed it all. The thing that had to go was the Sinful Sunday. However, tail photos were taken and a post submitted to KOTW so all was not lost.

As an aside the tail got left on the bed on Tuesday and when I got home and my ex had been round for a shower (don’t ask and anyway the shower will be all his soon). Where as in the past I might have freaked and he would have sent me weird texts, there has been no comment. Fact is I might be weird and kinky, but he is just weird.

Anyway

This week’s Sinful Sunday picture was taken last weekend during the hot sunny weather. Time when I could wear a summer dress, no underwear and expose myself to Master. Photo and edit all down to him. His title on this photo was curly hair.

Sinful Sunday

This slave’s tail

It has been a very long time since this slave felt that she had provided service in the way her Master originally expected.

She isn’t so much disobedient or even unruly (no matter what Master would tell you). But it is about circumstance, timing and yes, laziness, on both sides. But this girl can feel the end of that time in her life coming to an end.

This weekend has been about getting ready for this slave’s future. There will be many more weekends like this until our move is complete. Time when we will be clearing out rubbish, putting things in bags and packing up the things that will be going to Master’s house.

Meanwhile, this weekend, there has been sex, raw passionate sex. And there has been submission time for this this girl naked and open for her Master to take. Clothed without underwear allowing him to have access at any time. A reawakening, a realisation of what might have previously been denied and hidden. His for the taking.

Many months ago, Master bought his girl a tail. She had coveted a bushy tail after seeing one at one of the sexy markets, London Alternative or Birmingham Bizarre Bizarre. One day when the slave arrived at his place, he presented to her. This would be a way for her to show her slutty side and to be his bitch. But, for one reason or another though, probably we were busy and there wasn’t time and it didn’t get used.

On Sunday Master firmly fucked his girl in the ass. The second time in recent weeks as our sex life has taken on new life. The plan was to use the tail for Sinful Sunday, but actually that might have been a little painful. And for one reason and another we didn’t post on Sinful Sunday this week.

On Monday though, the slave finally wore the tail. Still a little sore, inserting the butt plus was a bit of a challenge. But the effect was wonderful, and it won’t be long before that tail comes out again. Maybe she may even wear it out at an event. Till then, here is a photo taken by Master yesterday.

First experience

I was nearly 50 before I had my first experience. Of sex with a man other than my husband and of anal sex. We had known each other just a few weeks and had met just the once. In a probably not to be recommended encounter, I met, had sex and slept the night with a man I had only chatted to online and by phone. But things went well, we got on well together. Enjoyed each others company as well as lusting after each other. What is more, the sex was better than anything I had experienced in a long time. Perhaps ever.

A couple of weeks later I went back for more. This time I travelled to his place. I sucked him, he fucked me senseless and then we had anal sex. He knew I was an anal virgin and I knew that he wanted to take that particular cherry. We had discussed my willingness to have anal at length and I had trained myself for those couple of weeks with a butt plug.

My only experience of anal sex before meeting S was in some of the kinky books I read. Generally the dominant man considered taking his submissive girl’s arse as the ultimate prize. Perhaps the same was true of S. While I in turn wanted to give it a try, to learn and experience new things.

He was clearly experienced and led me gently through the build up to the main event. He attended to my orgasm needs, stroked me, kissed me and made me feel like I needed to feel his cock in that forbidden place. Any pain I felt on that day (and I am sure it did hurt a little) pales into insignificance when I consider the lasting benefits. That first experience helped me see the intimacy that can come from anal sex. The trust that is needed so that I could relax enough for him to find his way inside that most secret of places. Then the resulting orgasm that seemed in some way different from any other.

That first experience probably paved the way for me to become the submissive I am now. S and I continued to have great sex and for him that tended to include anal. I enjoyed it and complied. But there were problems with the relationship, mainly that we wanted and needed different things. Looking back sex with S was predictable, starting with  me on my knees sucking him and some time later (hours or the next day) with anal.

I don’t suppose any partner wants to think of their lover having sex with an ex. But Master says that he is grateful to S for teaching me about anal. It meant I was ready, able and willing soon after we met. For us anal is something very special. It brings out the slut, the bitch in me. It is dirty and forbidden but it feels the most intimate of sexual acts. We don’t do it often, indeed we haven’t in some time. But when we do it is one of the ways in which Master expresses his ownership of me, his slave.

This post is cross linked to Wicked Wednesday for the prompt ‘The Ex’ and to Kink of the Week for the prompt ‘Anal Sex’.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

 

What’s my name?

5 years ago, when I embarked upon this journey, one involving illicit sex with a bit of kink thrown in. I called myself Joolz on the various websites and on my new blog. The people I met at that time either didn’t know my real name or chose not to use it. To them I was Joolz.

But when Master and I met, 3 and a half years ago now. He saw me as someone else. To him Joolz was someone who was a bit scary, who had been struggling to find her true self. Joolz was someone in transition from Julie to……….. But who.

He wanted me to refer to myself as ‘this girl’. As far as he was concerned, my journey as a submissive needed to include some introspection about what and who I was. By removing the need to think of myself in the first person or as Julie the mother or daughter, the submissive inside would feel more real. At the same time he was of the opinion that Joolz was someone who had belonged to another, someone who had rejected me. By letting go of Joolz, I let go of that part of my past. Gave myself fully to him. Allowed myself to be absorbed into his ownership, to become his property.

Gradually over time this girl has become girl. He called and does call me girl. At times he has admitted that he has struggled to remember that I am also Julie. A 55 year old girl? Yes, but not any girl. His girl, his submissive and his slave. I do still refer to myself as ‘this girl’ but mainly during sex or play. The rest of the time I just know who and what I am, even when people call me Julie. I know I am His girl.

kink of the week – Jeans

This morning this photo popped up on my Facebook timeline. A photo taken by Master, a year ago as I walked up the steps to board a plane. He posted it later and tagged me with the caption ‘Rear of the day’. I was amused and just a little flattered because a public acknowledgment that he finds me attractive appeals. Some may find this sexist, but coming from him it is something I like. I like the way I look in a pair of well fitting jeans, and love the way it shows off the contours of my bottom. At the same time, I like the way that they hold my wobbly bits in place. They give the impression I have a firmer, perhaps more youthful body than I have. 

Do I feel sexy in them though? Well yes in a way because if I feel good and think I look good to others. But do I feel  more sexy in jeans than in any other well fitting trousers or perhaps a short skirt? Then no. This is partly because I don’t think Master looks at it that way. He likes the look and feel of my bottom when it is on display in that way, but also likes to see my legs, or my cleavage or my bare back. He loves leather, and I have a feeling that he would find leather trousers more appealing than jeans. However, I am not convinced that they would be very forgiving to my figure.

Having said that, he likes me naked too. With everything hanging out. But naked is not a good look walking up the stairs to get on a plane and I don’t think anyone needs to see me naked on Facebook. Though plenty have seen me naked here.

Hair – The shorter the better

So Kink of the Week for 1-15 September is Hair. Having covered pubic hair already, the focus this time is the hair on your head.

Master has a particular fetish for very short hair. In his ideal world his slave would have her head shaved. For him, there is something very erotic about a woman whose head is shaved. I haven’t asked him, but suspect he prefers that the hair has visibly been cropped closely and that you can run your hands over it and feel the stubble rather than a head that is truly bald. His tumblr feed is full of photos of women that emulate his ideal (he has other kinks that he displays too unsurprisingly).
Master is not one to push a slave to comply with his wishes, at least not overtly. He would prefer that she does so to please him and because she wants it too. So the move towards short hair has been a gradual process.
When we met my hair was shoulder length. It had taken me a while to grow my hair to a length that I liked and I felt pretty happy with the style. As far as I was concerned I dressed and had my hair cut in a way that I wanted, to please myself, no one else. When we met, his then slave told me of his preference for shorter hair. She told me that when she arrived to live with him, he would force her to have her head shaved. This was something she said she would struggle with. While I believe he may have said such a thing to her, I don’t actually believe he would do anything like that without the other person (even his slave) fully agreeing and wanting that to be the case. Certainly he hasn’t pressured me to cut my hair. But the things she told me stick in my mind and maybe stop me from going the whole hog.
I have though, over the past 2 1/2 years gradually cut my hair shorter.
I have discovered that a woman of my age looks better with shorter hair. That I like the way I look with short hair. It looks better when cut around my ears than trying the half way thing. I have discovered that for a woman going through the menopause short hair really helps you cool down. I think it helps me and others see the bone structure of my face.
What is more, I have been complimented on my hair in a way that I don’t think I have been for many years by family, friends, colleagues and by almost complete strangers.
I don’t have my head shaved and am not sure I ever will. Maybe I might get the area around my ears shaved as I think it looks cool and pretty sexy. I know what Master likes, but don’t think he will push me to do something I don’t want.
But sometimes you need another persons view, another’s ideal to help push those boundaries. without Master I may never have cut my hair to the length it is now and may never have known just how good it would look.
Short is good. For him, the shorter the better and maybe I am edging closer to his ideal.

Kink of the week: Jeans

This morning this photo popped up on my Facebook timeline. A photo taken by Master, a year ago as I walked up the steps to board a plane. He posted it later and tagged me with the caption ‘Rear of the day’. I was amused and just a little flattered because a public acknowledgment that he finds me attractive appeals. Some may find this sexist, but coming from him it is something I like. I like the way I look in a pair of well fitting jeans, and love the way it shows off the contours of my bottom. At the same time, I like the way that they hold my wobbly bits in place. They give the impression I have a firmer, perhaps more youthful body than I have. 

Do I feel sexy in them though? Well yes in a way because if I feel good and think I look good to others. But do I feel  more sexy in jeans than in any other well fitting trousers or perhaps a short skirt? Then no. This is partly because I don’t think Master looks at it that way. He likes the look and feel of my bottom when it is on display in that way, but also likes to see my legs, or my cleavage or my bare back. He loves leather, and I have a feeling that he would find leather trousers more appealing than jeans. However, I am not convinced that they would be very forgiving to my figure.

Having said that, he likes me naked too. With everything hanging out. But naked is not a good look walking up the stairs to get on a plane and I don’t think anyone needs to see me naked on Facebook. Though plenty have seen me naked here.

2 Responses to Kink of the week: Jeans

  1. Molly says:

    I can totally see why your bottom inspired him to take this picture. What a perfectly shapely vision it is.

    Mollyx

  2. Bee says:

    I don’t find his actions sexist at all, just the actions of someone who finds you attractive. I’ve been known to do something similar with my partner.

    Like you it makes me feel attractive and wanted when he makes those compliments.

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Blogging A-Z Challenge: U

U is for uniforms

I know that many people find uniforms on their preferred gender a turn on. The military man, the police officer, the nurse. I am not entirely immune to this, I do find a smartly dressed man attractive, however I have no preference between a suit and a uniform. Attractive, but not a specific turn on.

When it comes to dressing for Master, I am happy to wear whatever makes him happy. I love to wear the leather waistcoats, the harnesses, the little skimpy dresses he has bought me. In the past I even wore sexy lingerie, stockings and heels for a man. At one time I dressed as a maid for the same man, it was a fun game. I am glad though, that Master is not into that kind of thing, and glad too he is not into uniforms.

I wonder what might be considered the most sexy uniform on a woman. A police woman, doctor, traffic warden? What’s the betting on nurse? Odds on I would say. The sexy nurse of the carry on film or the many other soft (or harder) porn movies. Wearing a white dress that barely covers her suspender tops, her ample cleavage bulging out at the front. That is not my idea of a nurse.

You see I am a nurse. Even though I no longer practise clinically I am still on the nursing register and consider myself a nurse. Wearing a tiny nurses uniform to enable another person to get off is not my idea of a good time. I wore my uniform to care for sick, disabled or dying people. I wore my uniform as I gave bad news to loved ones. For me the uniform of a nurse is something to wear with pride not as a sexual tool.

So, while I have few limits and most that I did have are the property of another. Wearing a nurses uniform is a red flag. A limit as hard as they come. Leather kink wear though, bring it on!

Kink of the week – soixante-neuf

In this photo, a young couple are caught in a moment of lust, on the living room floor. Their clothes are strewn around them, the sofa in the background. Her hand is wrapped around his very large cock while she attempts to push it into her mouth. She straddles his face. He Wraps his arms around her legs, while burying his face into her cunt. Each are caught in their own experience. Of giving and of receiving oral sex. This position of 69, Soixante-neuf, yin and yang, congress of a crow (that’s a Karma Sutra reference incase you didn’t know).


How about us?

Master loves me to sit on his face, or else to go down on me while I lie spread eagle on the bed or indeed the floor. I love the feel of his tongue as it explores my vulval area. Long strokes and then short laps as if he is drinking me. I love the way that the feelings inside of me build, from a localised pleasure to a deep growing arousal. Orgasm control is part of who we are and what we do, and that knowledge helps me to keep control. As the orgasm builds inside me, I have to focus to prevent an explosion happening without warning and permission. It is at those times that having a cock to suck is useful.

Often I find I am not close enough to His cock to take it and have to use my hands to  stroke and caress. The smoothness of His cock, the softness of his balls and the way as they harden the skin shrinks and becomes rough. The feel of his bum, pert but soft buttocks, and that little area between his scrotum and anus. These are delicious things that take my mind off of the impending orgasm until it is time.

Sometimes though my mouth can find his cock and explore it with my tongue. I am able to feel the size of it grow and fill my mouth and push down towards my throat and to suck and to lick, using its very presence to divert my attention.

Sometimes though I really don’t want to have my attention diverted. I want it all to be about me, to give into the pleasure and wait for permission to release my passions. I like to have my cake and eat it!

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