I don’t remember when I discovered the pleasure of orgasms, but I wasn’t very young. Probably in my late thirties or early forties. My ex wasn’t really into giving pleasure, it was all about him. So once I discovered and located the toys that would meet my needs I used them. But it wasn’t until I was nearly 50 that I discovered that sometimes there are men who believe that giving can be just as fulfilling as receiving. If not more so.
There have been significant changes over the past 10 years. Firstly I discover the joy of being made to come again and again, by another person, using his fingers and not mine. Plus fingers rather than a toy. The pleasure and pain of multiple orgasm emerged for me like an epiphany. I had read about such things, but never believed they were possible. I guess my sexual awakening happening when it did was a bonus for me. Because older men don’t tend to be able to come multiple times, themselves. Therefore sex lasts longer and if he is the right guy then he is willing to share the pleasure.
S thought he owned my orgasms, but it wasn’t until I met Master that I found out what being owned by another meant. Master owned mine almost from the day we met. He decided when they happened and controlled them absolutely. He was attentive in those early days in a way that S hadn’t been. Our evening chats often resulted in me being off to bed to come and to thank him, in his absence for the privilege.
Control occurred soon after. In that suddenly he was able to condition me into orgasming almost at his will. I struggled to understand how my body responded but just knew it did. The count down was part of his repertoire from the beginning. I understood how Master made me orgasm in bed, but couldn’t work out how he managed it when I was fully clothed sitting with him on a bus. Especially as he didn’t actually touch me. I decided the best thing was to accept it and move on and I’m glad I did. Because that is one of the things that has disappeared since my breast cancer.
As I said yesterday, going through the menopause was challenging, but I was definitely able to orgasm with relative ease. Now it has become more difficult. The result of hormone interference I think. I can no longer come on demand, something I’m quite sad about. Sadly, I’ve also lost the link between nipple play and orgasm. We use toys more to make me orgasm and often coincide that with penetration as it tends to give both of us a fabulous outcome.
The changes to my body have come sooner than they might have, but what I’ve reapplied is we can adapt. It’s just a case of not losing hope and trying new things, in the main toys. We have plenty of ageing to get through yet and no doubt this isn’t the end of the story. I can orgasm and with some force, it’s just the experience is a bit different that it was before. I must say though that I enjoy the experience of finding those new ways. And so does he.
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