Sex and getting older

“There are six myths about old age: 1. That it’s a disease, a disaster. 2. That we are mindless. 3. That we are sexless. 4. That we are useless. 5. That we are powerless. 6. That we are all alike.”

Maggie Kuhn

I haven’t written for the Erotic Journal Challenge for a while, but luckily this is catch up week. I’ve decided to turn my attention to sex and ageing. None of us can avoid getting older, but we can do something about our own attitude and maybe that of others. There was a time that I thought 56 was really old, actually I thought 30 was old. It turns out I was wrong, I’m still not old, but I am definitely getting older.

Sex in my 50’s

I didn’t start this blog until 4 months before my 50th birthday. Sex in my 40’s had been pretty dull and I was determined my 50’s would be different. And so it has proved.

During this decade of my life I have discovered so much more about my body than I would ever have imagined. Partly through self examination and experimentation (mainly in relation to orgasms), and also through having two partners who have helped to guide me. This has meant I have experienced anal sex, multiple orgasms and orgasm control amongst other things.

I don’t have the hugest libido in the world but once I get aroused I’m up for most things. It turns out all I needed was a man to push me towards trying new things, or to having sex at different times of the day. Together Master and I have experimented with various pieces of equipment to aid or sexual journey, things like the sex swing and fucking machine.

Our bodies are ageing

There is no doubt that we have less stamina than we did in our 20’s and 30’s. Master is unable to ejaculate more than once a day and perhaps less than that. Morning times are usually better for him and now I am not working we have plenty of time. We also have to pace ourselves and when we have been strenuous in other ways our bodies are often tired. One way to help is taking a bath, something we love to do together. In the future we hope to have our own hot tub, but mean time we make do with our regular bath which luckily has a jacuzzi function.

But we are not willing to just turn over and go to sleep. We can spend time cuddling up together, mutually masturbating each other including orally. As I mentioned there are toys to help things along. The sex swing was purchased when Master had a frozen shoulder and sex in bed was often painful.

The experience of life and a desire to be fulfilled sexually means that we are willing to try new ways and enjoy different equipment. And of course I am always keen to write about it.

The future

We are determined to grow older together as disgracefully as possible and we intend to keep having sex for as long as we can. Keeping as fit and healthy as possible is probably key and so keeping active will help. But as I said at the beginning we are actually pretty young still. It’s just we can recognise the ageing process as it happens. I guess that means we can deal with new problems as they arise. Plus you can be sure I will write about them here.

Orgasms

It is over 5 years since I gave up control and ownership of my orgasms. Before that, I didn’t really know that was a thing and even if I had, I doubt I would have understood what it meant.

When I was seeing S, he made me ask permission to cum. This, I have discovered isn’t the same thing as having your orgasms owned and controlled by someone else.

Permission

From the first time I was told to ask for permission to come, I loved it. Here was a man that was actually interested in me having an orgasm. Someone who wanted to experience something of my enjoyment to feel the moment. My previous experience had been with a man who was really only interested in himself.

Permission was only needed when we were together. When we weren’t and I was getting myself off, then it wasn’t necessary. I thought little about this at the time and continued on my merry way. Just as well, since we only saw each other every 6 weeks or so.

When Master and I got together he put in place the same rule. I was to ask to come when we were together. However he would own my orgasms whether we were together or not.

Ownership

When we lived apart, Master still allowed me to orgasm when we weren’t actually together. However I was to thank him at the moment I came. I pretty much never broke this rule. Amazing really since I have broken plenty other rules over the years. This though brought with it the feeling that we were emotionally joined even when we were apart. It also stopped me making myself come for the sake of it.

When I was seeing S and before that even, I masturbated frequently. I often found the process enjoyable, but once I had reached orgasm felt it anticlimactic. A few minutes later I would feel unfulfilled and start over. Sometimes I would masturbate several times in an evening, afternoon or whatever. But at the end of it all I would be left thinking that there must be more to it than that.

For some reason, masturbating and then having to thank a person not even present seemed to work better for me. During this period, most of my masturbating took place at night. Late when I couldn’t get off to sleep, early when I had been woken by my ex walking into the house or had just been disturbed by a menopausal flush. Sometimes the effect was to send me to sleep, but other times it tended to wake me. Serial orgasms alone didn’t really work for me though, whether I thanked Master or not.

Control

There is more to orgasm control than seeking permission to cum. It is about being told to cum or being told you cannot. It is about being made to wait and being reminded that your body is actually his. This is the world I now inhabit.

I can honestly say that I have not masturbated alone since I have been living with Master. Funnily enough not even when we have been apart. For some, unknown reason I haven’t felt the need to even ask. My toys, regularly used now only come into play when we decide to do so together.

Partly I guess this could be because of the various health related events of the past few months. But more it feels that there is no need. I have the control I need and I don’t need to use a toy when he his only too willing to use his fingers or tongue. Or when a toy is required he is the one holding it. Teasing me and making me beg for my orgasm.

When I look back over the past few years the rule about orgasms hasn’t changed. But the way I experience and enjoy them has. Right at the moment though, because we have both recently suffered form viral illnesses orgasms are seriously lacking for us both.

tellmeabout
Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Time for sex

Anytime feels good for sex, so long as you have and allow time for it. We tend to have sex in the mornings, but it depends on the situation. Previous relationships have been a little different.

When I was married

Hubby and I often had sex during the commercial break of a TV programme. I kid you not. He worked long hours and got up early, so tended to fall asleep at bedtime (if not before). His favourite thing was to have sex during the evening once our son was in bed. However this didn’t really rock my boat, especially since there was very little if any foreplay involved.

Afternoon fun

When I began to stray from the marital bed, my dalliances tended to take place in the afternoon. I had something going with a guy who was actually impotent, but who gave the most amazing orgasms. I used to slip away from work or on a day off and meet him, especially in the summer. Much of it was alfresco and I have orgasmed in some beautiful locations.

With S, lots of our sex was in the daytime. Often I didn’t manage to stay over night with him so we’d spend much of the day in bed. He was a guy who seemed to be able to get it up any time, perhaps I just made him horny. We also had sex outside, including on a picnic table!

Taking the time for sex

Since I got together with Master, most of our sex has taken place in the mornings. This has traditionally been when we have had the most time to just lie there and be. Time to touch and caress and to kiss. Often things start slowly and build. He might have been looking at some porn or lying there soon after waking stroking me. He loves to open my legs gently with caressing strokes and then to go down on me. He says he loves the taste of me and I have to admit I love the way it makes me feel. Since I gave up work we have made much more time for sex, even taking account of my recent illness.

On holiday when the day is hot, we love to retire to bed for a rest. We will probably have had wine at lunch and need to cool down. There is something very arousing about the aroma of a sun warmed body mixed with sexual desire. The desire to get cool is put on hold while we join together for some hot sex in our room.

Occasionally we engage in some late night sex. This is usually pretty drink fuelled, especially on my part. This is probably the only time I initiate it, often by stripping off and kneeling before him. Though there are times when it starts with Master getting me to suck his cock first.

I guess the only rule about any of this is so long as it feels right then it is the right time.

Power and glory

Apparently Master had an odd dream. This is nothing unusual, only last week he has travelled to China having been abducted on an underground train. In this dream though he was describing the different ways in which he and I fuck. Nothing odd about that, though he didn’t expand on the context. However it led him to thinking about the ways we have sex. This post is a reflection of the conversation we had. 

For him, there are two kinds of sex firstly where he has the power and is a dominant force and secondly where he feels the desire to breed me. For the purpose of this post I am calling glory.

Power

I would estimate that 70-80% of the time our sex life resolves around the power dynamic of our relationship. His role as Master and mine as slave is most evident in the bedroom, or playroom. It is always an undercurrent the rest of the time but is subtle. During sex though he says and does things that increase his feelings of power and that in turn brings out my submissive side. He might use humiliating words to describe me – bitch for example, or he may instruct me to kneel and suck his cock.

The more that I conform to his words, the fact that I ask and even beg for an orgasm, the way he can make me wait all make him feel more powerful. In this context I can feel myself drift into submission, how that feels is difficult to describe. It feels almost trance like, hypnotic. When he sees that slightly glazed look on my face, especially after several orgasms, his voice chances in tone. There is no doubt he is in control, has the power  over me.

If he orgasms he will often do so on my body somewhere; breasts or tummy. He will wipe his cock over my pubic hair as a final sign of his power. This will have been my prize.  

Glory

The sex described in my post yesterday falls into the second category. While some of the words spoken may be the same and there will be an overt power dynamic. But this will be about him burying his cock deep inside me, with the intention of breeding me. This of course is a fantasy. I am in my mid 50s and can’t be bred, I am post menopausal. But for him it feels real, a sign of his love for me. To me, it is ok, because if I had known him earlier in my life, there is a good chance I would have wanted a baby with him. 

This isn’t all about him though, he will still make me orgasm. His fingers will still be caressing me and his cock will rub against my piercing. But he will want his orgasm to occur with his cock deep in my vagina. I love when that happens, partly because it is less common. But also it feels like sex that is born of love not just dominance and submission. There is glory for both in that moment 

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Reclaimed

It had been perhaps 2 weeks since my last orgasm. There hadn’t been much in the opportunity or indeed desire during our week apart. For one, it was too hot in a bedroom where the air conditioning wasn’t used. A preference of the other occupant. For another I didn’t feel the need and for another my orgasms really don’t belong to me. 

His fingers explored my damp folds and he leaned down to inspect his property. As he placed his mouth over my clit I felt my excitement build and my cunt grow wetter. I took his hard cock in my hand and worked it a little. His tongue still moving over my piercing, he slipped a finger into my vagina. I was moist but a little tight after the abstinence, so he moved his finger in and out, then inserted another. Suddenly the need to orgasm was at the forefront of my mind; an urgent need. Thankfully the countdown was only 5, else I might not have been able to hold back. This was a clitoral orgasm of the finest order.

As he pushed his cock inside me, a feeling of relief overwhelmed. Master is reclaiming his slave, he told me and that is how it felt. He told me to cum again, and this time I felt a gush from inside my cunt and I began to float. He asked me who I was, the answer flowed easily from my lips  – “this girl is Master’s slave”.

Pulling away he instructed me to mount him, so I got off the bed while he rolled onto his back. I climbed aboard and his cock slid into my now wide and slick hole. I tightened my hips and moved up and down on his throbbing dick as he rubbed my clit. More orgasms flowed from me and he pulled me forward arching his hips from underneath. my inner slut was now in full force and I became an orgasm producing machine. Spent, I lay beside him and he took me one last time, releasing his seed into my throbbing body.

I had been reclaimed.

The rediscovery of my submission

Master reminded me on Friday night that we have hardly used my birthday present from last year.  For various reasons I have ridden this beautiful toy only once or twice. It’s purchase dates back to my experiences at the Secret Dungeon a few months before for his birthday. I could never have imagined just how much fun you could have fucking a machine. While the one at the secret dungeon was a sybian, more sophisticated, not to mention automated, this one relies on the user to do the work.

The fucking machine

Back to Friday night. I hadn’t realised quite how turned on I was just discussing the fact that we hadn’t used this fucking machine for several months. But by the time I had put the dildo in place, applied the condom and slid onboard I was pretty aroused. The dildo slid easily in and out of my  wet cunt as I moved backwards and forwards. As Master stood over me, playing with my nipples, sucking me and pinching I knew an orgasm wasn’t far away. 

He stroked my clit and counted down and I came to his demand. Sliding a finger into may arse, he demanded another and more. “Whose slut are you?” 

“This girl is Master’s slut”

The magic words came easily to my mouth. After months of me and I suddenly it was about ‘this girl’ about ‘His pleasing bitch’, ‘slave’. He became Lord and Master, the words falling from easily my tongue During sex I never have problems remembering who I am, of saying what is expected, but somehow this was different. It was as if for months ‘this girl’ had been sitting outside of my body, watching as I went about my crazy life. All at once she crashed into Julie and a submissive was awoken. All of a sudden I was telling Master that more control was needed, that I was proud to be his slave and wanted more of this. More sex, more orgasms, more time on the sex machine. But also rules. More, much more time remembering I am a slave. His slave.

This girl going forward

Today, sober (we had drunk quite a bit of wine) but also not high on the endorphins of recent orgasms I have had time to reflect. After 4 years as Master’s slave it feels as if I am starting from scratch. Learning again what it means to be his property, not just in bed or on a fucking machine, but in everything. 

The machine seems a good leveller. I defy anyone to strip naked, sit on the dildo and begin to rock while their Dominant watches and not feel the need to concentrate. I remember looking up at him as he stood naked in front of me, stroking his cock. I remember him asking me over and over again to repeat who I am, who he is. I remember the feeling of submission sweeping over me and I remember asking for the magic wand. For a different kind of orgasm. 

Life is not all about sex and fucking machines. It isn’t all about Dominance and submission but in this relationship those things are important. Very likely increasingly so. For us, this toy may enable us to get back to being the people we need to be and on a daily basis. Please.

Good vibrations

Last weekend was beyond busy as we were in France getting my apartment there ready for the season. Master celebrated his birthday by painting the bathroom ceiling and putting together an Ikea sofa bed. There was of course time for fun, and we enjoyed a night out at the local bar where it was karaoke night. I gave him a couple of CDs from his amazon wish list on the day. The other present arrived while we were away. I gave it to him yesterday.

I saw the Hot Octopus Atom Plus at Eroticon but was undecided at the time. On the spur of the moment one evening a couple of weeks ago, I messaged them to see if I could get a discount. I was excited to learn that I could and sent off my order.

Vibration fun

He followed me into the spare room. I had wandered in there from the bathroom to see what the weather was like. It was raining. Soon though the only moisture I was worried about was that around my cunt. He started on my nipples, pinching and then sucking. Holding his cock in one hand, he requested I kneel. I asked if we could return to the bedroom, he agreed and I kneeled before him, taking his cock into my mouth. I worked him for a while before he said he wanted to feel my tongue must more. Of course I obliged, running it along his shaft and thing circling the tip of his cock. He told me he wanted me on top of him.

Climbing onto the bed, he reached for his new toy. Master’s cock has a large girth, often giving me quite a mouth full. The Atom Plus went on fine but was quite tight. He certainly couldn’t have fitted it over his balls too, which the instructions say should be the case. Anyway with the ring on and turned on, I climbed aboard his cock. I was wet already and guided him carefully into my cunt. Moving up and down now, I could feel the vibrations form the Atom Plus immediately. I wanted Master deep inside me now, I wanted my clit stimulated by this powerful vibrating toy. The feeling was amazing giving me the beginnings of a wonderful orgasm. There is a difference in the type of orgasms I can enjoy through direct clitoral stimulation. A vibrating toy directly onto my clit is the most powerful. After a slow build up inside my cunt, the tell tale throbbing of my clit and I was ready to let go. He permitted me to cum and very quickly I did.

Climbing off I asked him how it was for him, he said that the vibrations had been pleasant but he had enjoyed the effect on me most. A few minutes later he had orgasmed too, inside me, minus the ring. Happy girl, happy Master we were pretty satisfied.

Final thoughts on the Atom Plus

I think this will be a great toy for us to play with  much more. It is small and easily portable and easily charged. You can also use it in water, so it may be fun when we have use of a large jacuzzi bath.

The only down side is the size of the hole. A bit small for Master when fully erect, but he seems a bit pleased by this. He loves the idea that he has a bigger cock than average. Over all then, a successful birthday present and one that will go on giving.

 

TMI Tuesday – Sexy Secrets

Sexy Secrets

1. Do you have a special place you like to have sex regularly?

Most of our sex takes place in or on a bed. Though the living room floor does feature. In general, comfort is the thing.

2. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The scariest?

Probably keeping my mouth firmly shut about the type of relationship I am part of. It isn’t that I want to tell people my business, but it would be much easier if I could be more open.

3. Are you annoying?

I am pretty sure I can be very annoying. When I get anxious I talk too much with those I know and too little with those I don’t. It makes a social gathering unpredictable!

4. A person whom you’ve had “the hots” for a very long time tells you they are super attracted to you. You spend a few hours together and the sexual attraction is overwhelming. You are dying to have this person as your lover. At the moment you are highly aroused, and he/she wants to have sex with you in a church, would you do it?

Not sure I would have sex in a church. Might, and have got up to some reasonably naughty things in one. I guess if I really had the hots for someone, then spontaneous sex might happen. Just maybe not in a church.

5. While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?

Probably. I have said and done some equally crazy things. I am a submissive don’t you know.

Bonus: Are you good in bed?

Ask my Master, he’ll tell you………

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Squirting

Squirting

The events of the weekend seem to have reignited my desire to blog, reminding me that I still have stuff to say. Sunday showed me that, whatever else happened we still have the M/s dynamic. I am his slave and want him to be proud of me. So, for the first time in ages, I am writing my third blog post in a week.

This week’s Kink of the week is about squirting, or female ejaculation. This is my topic for today.

Until about 4 or 5 years ago, I don’t believe I even knew it was possible to squirt. After all, at that time, I was still an orgasm novice. Unless that is I was making myself cum. Generally most of my experience had been through clitoral stimulation, my preference at the time. My reading around this subject tells me that female ejaculation tends to happen through G spot stimulation.

S explored all of my body,  attending to my needs as no one had before. He was keen on providing multiple orgasms in a variety of ways. Looking back sex with him followed a specific pattern, often starting with me sucking him and ending up with penetration of some kind. But along the way there were orgasms for me. I think (and my memory grows vaguer as time progresses) I may have once squirted for him. Well, lets say there was a feeling I may have peed myself, though I know I hadn’t. He told me I had squirted and I believed him.

With Master there is no doubt I have come close. Many many times, I have had the feeling I am about to release fluid, to squirt. But for some reason it doesn’t happen. I am often very wet, when he is forcing orgasms from me. Often many orgasms over a short period of time. When he overstimulates my body, while I am restrained and blindfolded. When he is fucking me. When his fingers find my g-spot and make me feel I might explode. But the fact this hasn’t happened over the past 3.5 years makes me wonder if I ever did squirt. If the idea was put into my mind by someone who wanted it to be true, but that it is a false memory.

Anyway does it matter? Isn’t being aroused to orgasm multiple times enough? Do I want or need to squirt for him? Probably not. Though I know that it is something he really would like to happen. Since it is not a conscious act it is not something I can make happen and I think for both of us there are more important things in our lives. Things like a loving relationship, a good sex life, our power exchange dynamic and the fact that he turns me on like crazy. I think that’s enough.