Faking orgasm

Kitagawa Utamaro (Japanese, ca. 1754–1806)

I’m pleased to say that I suggested this week’s Food for Thought prompt. A few weeks ago I read survey conducted by Kinkly.com on Faking Orgasms. The writers there had read a couple of other smaller surveys and conducted one of their own. 1232 people of different ages, gender and sexual orientation. What interested me was the headline that 80% of respondents had faked orgasms at least once in their life. Not surprisingly (well to me anyway) women fake it more than men. Reasons for faking included: wanting the encounter to end, wanting the other person to feel good and not wanting the other person to feel bad. There’s loads more to read from the survey – see the link above.

But, what is my experience?

Have I faked it and why?

I’m sorry to say only too often. Not recently but with my husband. I could count on one hand the number of times he made me come. Mainly this was because he didn’t take the time to learn about my body. We were young when we met, both virgins. I didn’t really know what a female orgasm was, let alone what it felt like. It was years before I realised how much pleasure there was to be had from touching and being touched.

For years sex was about him. Once he had come, the encounter was over. Foreplay was a bit of breast and cunt groping. I think I’ve written here before that this was a man who could fit in PIV sex during a TV commercial break.

I bought myself toys and he found or saw them. So wanted us to play with them and after that felt I ought to come too (I am simplifying things a little here)! So, given that having an orgasm took time, that his fingers weren’t as good as my toys and that I rarely came from vaginal sex, I faked it.

Me faking it made him feel good but it made me feel bad. I’d often come later after he was asleep. Some relationship history can be read here

Do I fake it now?

No because I have no need. Orgasms in this relationship are a gift and are offered frequently. Master is a man who has learned about my body and who who loves to see me come. He also owns the orgasms and by doing so has taken the pressure away from me. They are no longer something I have to do alone. Nor are they something I crave, but never get. Instead he forces them from me, sometimes many times in one session.

From early in our relationship Master conditioned me to come on demand. By touching me and counting down then telling me to come. Over time I was able to come almost without him touching me. But always those orgasms are his, arrive when permission is granted and always I thank him afterwards.

I can hand on heart say I have never faked an orgasm with Master.

Recent troubles

Whether it is being post menopausal. Or because of the hormone inhibitors I take, my orgasms have dried up a little recently. In that I seem less able to come on demand. But rather than pretend, I tell him that I can’t or haven’t come yet. That I can do this is down to the trust between us and because I know he understands.

So we have taken to using our magic wand vibrator more and this has reignited my orgasms in a powerful way. When one of those arrives, there is no faking!

F4Thought

Female Chastity – Physical or Emotional

Over the past year or so my Kink of the Week post on female chastity has been one of the most frequently read on my blog. I admit to being fascinated by the concept of physical chastity devices. Though I have never worn one, I find the idea extremely erotic. That I, a submissive woman might be locked into a metal and leather device by my Master. Prevented from touching myself makes me wet. I imagine him leaving me at home, locked in while he leaves town. The idea of being unable to touch myself, masturbate, is almost enough to make me cum. However this is all part of my imagination. Because the truth is I am not wearing a device, he is here and I actually don’t touch myself without his permission anyway,

For me, wearing a chastity device is a fantasy, though I would love to try. My Master doesn’t tend to deny me orgasms, he is more likely to force them out of me. But denial is part of that fantasy. For this post I want to explore whether to be denied orgasms actually requires a device. Or whether the control of a Master is enough to stop a slave touching herself (unless instructed), masturbating or even orgasming. Indeed, are there slaves out there who have been deprived of an orgasm for more than a year. Yet wear no physical device. The answer to that one is: Yes there are.

Physical Chastity Devises

You can find pictures of the various devises available here on Pinterest. This article on Kink Closet provides all the information you need to help you choose the right device. That includes it’s purpose, how to measure yourself as well as advice on cleaning.

I especially like this particular model. It’s not something you’d want to be locked into for long periods, but the idea is pretty erotic. So much so that I’m going to write some erotica based on it. I’ll link back when it’s done.

There is plenty of female chastity erotica here on Literotica, which might be worth a look meantime.

My other fantasy for physical chastity is through the use of labial piercings. I wrote a piece of flash fiction about having my labia locked together. It’s certainly something I’d love to explore more. Of course, this is a more permanent type of solution, in that the labia are pierced and then joined by rings or bars.

Emotional Chastity

I hadn’t previously thought about orgasm control and denial as a form of chastity, but of course it is. We practice control, but not denial. This means that my orgasms belong to Master and he grants me permission to come. When I do, I thank him. Since we have been together I have rarely masturbated on my own and not at all in the time we have lived together. He loves to see and feel me orgasm, especially when his cock is deep inside me. On occasion we use a vibrator to make this happen. But whether or how I come depends on him. He is in charge and decides.

Other couples in power exchange relationships take orgasm denial to a different level. Littlegem writes in this post about how her husband and Dominant Purple Sole uses short periods of orgasm control and denial as a form of behavioural control. She also discusses how this increases her need to express her submission to him.

This is done without using a physical device or piercings. But through emotional control. I could go upstairs now and masturbate, but don’t because I know I mustn’t and because if I did I would have to tell Master what I had done. However the very thought that I have agreed to this rule reinforces my submission and also makes me want an orgasm more.

Blossom is a slave in a long distance M/s relationship she wrote on 15th October that she had been in orgasm denial for 650 days.

“never thought this would happen to this girl but it is happening and have to say am still enjoying every moment of it….of course one has her good and bad days….but all in all it has been good….hot, delicious moments….painful moments where one rubbed her clit so often that it hurt to touch”.

Physical vs Emotional

Physical female chastity is something of my imagination, desire and fantasy. But unlikely to become a reality for me. It looks like something to wear during play, or for a specific scene. But I know from the sheer amount of information available that this is a big kink for many people. It is also something that I find fascinating and will probably continue to read and write about.

Emotional chastity or control is a reality in my life and those of fellow bloggers. It isn’t something you need equipment for. But you will need a willing submissive or slave and time to develop a power exchange relationship.

Masturbation Monday

The disappearing orgasms

Early on in our relationship I wrote about the importance Master placed on giving me pleasure. That he loved me to orgasm and to orgasm a lot. While my orgasms have belonged to him from day one and I have always had to ask permission, they have not been in short supply. Until this year that is.

Our sex life hasn’t really been affected by my breast cancer and treatment. I guess that is partly because we have made a particular effort to have sex. We have made the time which luckily hasn’t been a problem. He is a considerate lover, not shy of putting my needs first. Though the nature of our relationship means that sex often begins with him wanting to take possession of me and of my holes. Foreplay has become less of an issue as I am often eager for him to push his cock in (usually) my vagina. My focus then is on whether I can easily accommodate him and then on giving him pleasure.

The tablets I take to stop production of oestrogen have caused something of a second menopause. But thankfully while I experience hot flushes and a few aches and pains, I haven’t suffered from vaginal dryness. This has been something of a relief and has made me all the more keen to feel him inside me. I get seriously aroused by his excitement and am often pretty wet as he pushes his cock in. But for some reason I have become less worried about whether I orgasm at all. Once or twice I have definitely had G-spot orgasms but the powerful clitoral ones I so enjoy have been elusive.

Sometimes recently Master has asked if I want to orgasm, even when he is rubbing my clitoris and to be honest I have been at best undecided. Previously he could demand I orgasm and miraculously I would, that no longer seems possible.

I suspect the tablets are to blame.

Master has now decided that he wants me to orgasm and once he raised the issue, I realised that it is something I want too. After all who in my position would actually choose not to if offered the chance.

This week, I have had two. Both while his cock has been deep inside my vagina. Each time he has used a vibrator of some kind to give direct stimulation to my clitoris.. And having been seriously rocked by one particular long and powerful explosion a couple of mornings ago, I definitely want more.

I’m hoping that this is the start of something good. Further work and attention is definitely needed!

Power and glory

Apparently Master had an odd dream. This is nothing unusual, only last week he has travelled to China having been abducted on an underground train. In this dream though he was describing the different ways in which he and I fuck. Nothing odd about that, though he didn’t expand on the context. However it led him to thinking about the ways we have sex. This post is a reflection of the conversation we had. 

For him, there are two kinds of sex firstly where he has the power and is a dominant force and secondly where he feels the desire to breed me. For the purpose of this post I am calling glory.

Power

I would estimate that 70-80% of the time our sex life resolves around the power dynamic of our relationship. His role as Master and mine as slave is most evident in the bedroom, or playroom. It is always an undercurrent the rest of the time but is subtle. During sex though he says and does things that increase his feelings of power and that in turn brings out my submissive side. He might use humiliating words to describe me – bitch for example, or he may instruct me to kneel and suck his cock.

The more that I conform to his words, the fact that I ask and even beg for an orgasm, the way he can make me wait all make him feel more powerful. In this context I can feel myself drift into submission, how that feels is difficult to describe. It feels almost trance like, hypnotic. When he sees that slightly glazed look on my face, especially after several orgasms, his voice chances in tone. There is no doubt he is in control, has the power  over me.

If he orgasms he will often do so on my body somewhere; breasts or tummy. He will wipe his cock over my pubic hair as a final sign of his power. This will have been my prize.  

Glory

The sex described in my post yesterday falls into the second category. While some of the words spoken may be the same and there will be an overt power dynamic. But this will be about him burying his cock deep inside me, with the intention of breeding me. This of course is a fantasy. I am in my mid 50s and can’t be bred, I am post menopausal. But for him it feels real, a sign of his love for me. To me, it is ok, because if I had known him earlier in my life, there is a good chance I would have wanted a baby with him. 

This isn’t all about him though, he will still make me orgasm. His fingers will still be caressing me and his cock will rub against my piercing. But he will want his orgasm to occur with his cock deep in my vagina. I love when that happens, partly because it is less common. But also it feels like sex that is born of love not just dominance and submission. There is glory for both in that moment 

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Reclaimed

It had been perhaps 2 weeks since my last orgasm. There hadn’t been much in the opportunity or indeed desire during our week apart. For one, it was too hot in a bedroom where the air conditioning wasn’t used. A preference of the other occupant. For another I didn’t feel the need and for another my orgasms really don’t belong to me. 

His fingers explored my damp folds and he leaned down to inspect his property. As he placed his mouth over my clit I felt my excitement build and my cunt grow wetter. I took his hard cock in my hand and worked it a little. His tongue still moving over my piercing, he slipped a finger into my vagina. I was moist but a little tight after the abstinence, so he moved his finger in and out, then inserted another. Suddenly the need to orgasm was at the forefront of my mind; an urgent need. Thankfully the countdown was only 5, else I might not have been able to hold back. This was a clitoral orgasm of the finest order.

As he pushed his cock inside me, a feeling of relief overwhelmed. Master is reclaiming his slave, he told me and that is how it felt. He told me to cum again, and this time I felt a gush from inside my cunt and I began to float. He asked me who I was, the answer flowed easily from my lips  – “this girl is Master’s slave”.

Pulling away he instructed me to mount him, so I got off the bed while he rolled onto his back. I climbed aboard and his cock slid into my now wide and slick hole. I tightened my hips and moved up and down on his throbbing dick as he rubbed my clit. More orgasms flowed from me and he pulled me forward arching his hips from underneath. my inner slut was now in full force and I became an orgasm producing machine. Spent, I lay beside him and he took me one last time, releasing his seed into my throbbing body.

I had been reclaimed.

The rediscovery of my submission

Master reminded me on Friday night that we have hardly used my birthday present from last year.  For various reasons I have ridden this beautiful toy only once or twice. It’s purchase dates back to my experiences at the Secret Dungeon a few months before for his birthday. I could never have imagined just how much fun you could have fucking a machine. While the one at the secret dungeon was a sybian, more sophisticated, not to mention automated, this one relies on the user to do the work.

The fucking machine

Back to Friday night. I hadn’t realised quite how turned on I was just discussing the fact that we hadn’t used this fucking machine for several months. But by the time I had put the dildo in place, applied the condom and slid onboard I was pretty aroused. The dildo slid easily in and out of my  wet cunt as I moved backwards and forwards. As Master stood over me, playing with my nipples, sucking me and pinching I knew an orgasm wasn’t far away. 

He stroked my clit and counted down and I came to his demand. Sliding a finger into may arse, he demanded another and more. “Whose slut are you?” 

“This girl is Master’s slut”

The magic words came easily to my mouth. After months of me and I suddenly it was about ‘this girl’ about ‘His pleasing bitch’, ‘slave’. He became Lord and Master, the words falling from easily my tongue During sex I never have problems remembering who I am, of saying what is expected, but somehow this was different. It was as if for months ‘this girl’ had been sitting outside of my body, watching as I went about my crazy life. All at once she crashed into Julie and a submissive was awoken. All of a sudden I was telling Master that more control was needed, that I was proud to be his slave and wanted more of this. More sex, more orgasms, more time on the sex machine. But also rules. More, much more time remembering I am a slave. His slave.

This girl going forward

Today, sober (we had drunk quite a bit of wine) but also not high on the endorphins of recent orgasms I have had time to reflect. After 4 years as Master’s slave it feels as if I am starting from scratch. Learning again what it means to be his property, not just in bed or on a fucking machine, but in everything. 

The machine seems a good leveller. I defy anyone to strip naked, sit on the dildo and begin to rock while their Dominant watches and not feel the need to concentrate. I remember looking up at him as he stood naked in front of me, stroking his cock. I remember him asking me over and over again to repeat who I am, who he is. I remember the feeling of submission sweeping over me and I remember asking for the magic wand. For a different kind of orgasm. 

Life is not all about sex and fucking machines. It isn’t all about Dominance and submission but in this relationship those things are important. Very likely increasingly so. For us, this toy may enable us to get back to being the people we need to be and on a daily basis. Please.

Good vibrations

Last weekend was beyond busy as we were in France getting my apartment there ready for the season. Master celebrated his birthday by painting the bathroom ceiling and putting together an Ikea sofa bed. There was of course time for fun, and we enjoyed a night out at the local bar where it was karaoke night. I gave him a couple of CDs from his amazon wish list on the day. The other present arrived while we were away. I gave it to him yesterday.

I saw the Hot Octopus Atom Plus at Eroticon but was undecided at the time. On the spur of the moment one evening a couple of weeks ago, I messaged them to see if I could get a discount. I was excited to learn that I could and sent off my order.

Vibration fun

He followed me into the spare room. I had wandered in there from the bathroom to see what the weather was like. It was raining. Soon though the only moisture I was worried about was that around my cunt. He started on my nipples, pinching and then sucking. Holding his cock in one hand, he requested I kneel. I asked if we could return to the bedroom, he agreed and I kneeled before him, taking his cock into my mouth. I worked him for a while before he said he wanted to feel my tongue must more. Of course I obliged, running it along his shaft and thing circling the tip of his cock. He told me he wanted me on top of him.

Climbing onto the bed, he reached for his new toy. Master’s cock has a large girth, often giving me quite a mouth full. The Atom Plus went on fine but was quite tight. He certainly couldn’t have fitted it over his balls too, which the instructions say should be the case. Anyway with the ring on and turned on, I climbed aboard his cock. I was wet already and guided him carefully into my cunt. Moving up and down now, I could feel the vibrations form the Atom Plus immediately. I wanted Master deep inside me now, I wanted my clit stimulated by this powerful vibrating toy. The feeling was amazing giving me the beginnings of a wonderful orgasm. There is a difference in the type of orgasms I can enjoy through direct clitoral stimulation. A vibrating toy directly onto my clit is the most powerful. After a slow build up inside my cunt, the tell tale throbbing of my clit and I was ready to let go. He permitted me to cum and very quickly I did.

Climbing off I asked him how it was for him, he said that the vibrations had been pleasant but he had enjoyed the effect on me most. A few minutes later he had orgasmed too, inside me, minus the ring. Happy girl, happy Master we were pretty satisfied.

Final thoughts on the Atom Plus

I think this will be a great toy for us to play with  much more. It is small and easily portable and easily charged. You can also use it in water, so it may be fun when we have use of a large jacuzzi bath.

The only down side is the size of the hole. A bit small for Master when fully erect, but he seems a bit pleased by this. He loves the idea that he has a bigger cock than average. Over all then, a successful birthday present and one that will go on giving.

 

Blogging A-Z challenge: T – MPB – Master’s Pleasing BitchMPB – Master’s Pleasing Bitch

T is for touching

I awoke to feel his fingers on my nipples, gently pinching, stroking. Lying for a while, eyes closed I allowed the feelings of arousal to wash over me. Then I opened my eyes and looked at him, his response was to move my hand to his cock. Still flaccid to the touch, I stroked the soft skin of his cock and balls.

Gradually his cock came to life, and grew in my hand. His fingers moved from my nipple to my clitoris, he stroked the inner labia, flicked the pierced hood. All the time my hand continued to work his hard cock. He sat up and leaned down, spreading my legs wider. I felt his tongue exploring where his fingers had been, and his fingers back on my left nipple.

I released his cock from my hand. Unable to concentrate on anything else but what he was doing to me. The orgasm began to build in me and I concentrated on that too. As the climax grew close I concentrated on keeping it at bay.

Permission to cum was sought, and granted, but with the usual count down. I reached for his cock again, something to divert my mind, to prevent the inevitable. Until he reached 2 and I allowed myself to be absorbed by the impending orgasm, which at 0 overwhelmed me.

He wasn’t finished though. Pushing inside my wet pussy he took his pleasure and gave me more. Pulling out there was more to come. He instructed me to hold my pussy lips open and stroke myself while he watched. To touch my piercing, stroke myself and show him how I masturbate. Another orgasm followed, as his hands took over again. Finally he pushed inside me again. His orgasm, my prize followed soon after.

The importance of touch………

Blogging A-Z Challenge: O

O is for orgasm

I love to orgasm, who doesn’t? When it comes to permission to cum, it is rare that this is not granted. More and more, I need to be told to cum before I can. This can offer some difficulties when alone. But then again I am not all that bothered, since I prefer him there. Self mastibation is not something I do very often these days.

The ratio of me to him experiencing orgasm during sex or masturbation is probably about 7 or 8 to 1 in  my favour. Possibly even more. Once he gets going with his fingers or tongue he loves to make me cum multiple times.

Unusually this holiday I haven’t had many orgasms, possibly 3 or 4 and he has had two. Unlike most people (I imagine), we don’t always have lots of sex while away. Something to do with how busy we usually are, I think. Time in bed is often spent sleeping and then we have to rush to get out to do or see something. This holiday I have definitely needed to catch up on sleep and for some reason my libido is a bit down right now. He though is feeling particularly horny and so is demanding more sex, but for him rather than me.

This morning the ratio was 1 to 0 in his favour. I  showered and came back to bed in the fluffy white hotel bathrobe. He asked if I would like to stroke his cock while he looked at some porn. I settled in next to him happily. A few minutes later though he said he needed to have sex with his girl. I removed the and not long afterwards as I stroked my own nipples for him, he came inside me.

I am sure though, that it won’t be long before the normal orgasm ratio returns. We head home on Thursday.

 

 

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Blogging A-Z Challenge: C

C is for Control

when we are out together our M/s dynamic is only likely to be noticed by those who know what to look for. Subtle signs of my submission exist in the way I check his preferences. He often chooses and orders food, he always picks the wine. He phrases his questions in such a way that for me they are statements I am compelled to follow. But I doubt others notice.

Control during sex for us is at another level. He is always in charge, even if I take the initiative, or am on top. This is the time and place when I am stripped to my very core, whether naked or clothed. He is my Master, my Lord. I am his slut, slave, bitch. Something comes over us during foreplay and sex that I can’t quite put my finger on. It is as if my anxieties slip away, I lose the need to be someone I am not and can just focus on him. To be the real me, his slave.

Orgasm Control

From the very beginning of our relationship he took control of my ability to choose when, where and how I experienced an orgasm. He has never prohibited me from having orgasms when I am along, but I do have to thank him. Even when he is absent. This is a rule that I have never broken.

When we are together I am not allowed to cum until he tells me I can. Last weekend it became apparent that even during immense amounts of stimulation I am able to control my orgasms until he allows me to cum. For Master’s birthday we went to stay in a house that has been converted into a dungeon. I have always wanted to try mechanical sex machines, and last Friday I got the chance. Vibrating, whirling and moving dildos provided an amazing amount of stimulation to my body. But it wasn’t until afterwards that  he remarked that I didn’t orgasm until he granted permission.

This has me thinking about control in a different way. He does control me, but surely I must have developed control over my own body so that he can control it?

Or is it just conditioning?

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