The rediscovery of my submission

Master reminded me on Friday night that we have hardly used my birthday present from last year.  For various reasons I have ridden this beautiful toy only once or twice. It’s purchase dates back to my experiences at the Secret Dungeon a few months before for his birthday. I could never have imagined just how much fun you could have fucking a machine. While the one at the secret dungeon was a sybian, more sophisticated, not to mention automated, this one relies on the user to do the work.

The fucking machine

Back to Friday night. I hadn’t realised quite how turned on I was just discussing the fact that we hadn’t used this fucking machine for several months. But by the time I had put the dildo in place, applied the condom and slid onboard I was pretty aroused. The dildo slid easily in and out of my  wet cunt as I moved backwards and forwards. As Master stood over me, playing with my nipples, sucking me and pinching I knew an orgasm wasn’t far away. 

He stroked my clit and counted down and I came to his demand. Sliding a finger into may arse, he demanded another and more. “Whose slut are you?” 

“This girl is Master’s slut”

The magic words came easily to my mouth. After months of me and I suddenly it was about ‘this girl’ about ‘His pleasing bitch’, ‘slave’. He became Lord and Master, the words falling from easily my tongue During sex I never have problems remembering who I am, of saying what is expected, but somehow this was different. It was as if for months ‘this girl’ had been sitting outside of my body, watching as I went about my crazy life. All at once she crashed into Julie and a submissive was awoken. All of a sudden I was telling Master that more control was needed, that I was proud to be his slave and wanted more of this. More sex, more orgasms, more time on the sex machine. But also rules. More, much more time remembering I am a slave. His slave.

This girl going forward

Today, sober (we had drunk quite a bit of wine) but also not high on the endorphins of recent orgasms I have had time to reflect. After 4 years as Master’s slave it feels as if I am starting from scratch. Learning again what it means to be his property, not just in bed or on a fucking machine, but in everything. 

The machine seems a good leveller. I defy anyone to strip naked, sit on the dildo and begin to rock while their Dominant watches and not feel the need to concentrate. I remember looking up at him as he stood naked in front of me, stroking his cock. I remember him asking me over and over again to repeat who I am, who he is. I remember the feeling of submission sweeping over me and I remember asking for the magic wand. For a different kind of orgasm. 

Life is not all about sex and fucking machines. It isn’t all about Dominance and submission but in this relationship those things are important. Very likely increasingly so. For us, this toy may enable us to get back to being the people we need to be and on a daily basis. Please.

Blogging A-Z Challenge: O

O is for orgasm

I love to orgasm, who doesn’t? When it comes to permission to cum, it is rare that this is not granted. More and more, I need to be told to cum before I can. This can offer some difficulties when alone. But then again I am not all that bothered, since I prefer him there. Self mastibation is not something I do very often these days.

The ratio of me to him experiencing orgasm during sex or masturbation is probably about 7 or 8 to 1 in  my favour. Possibly even more. Once he gets going with his fingers or tongue he loves to make me cum multiple times.

Unusually this holiday I haven’t had many orgasms, possibly 3 or 4 and he has had two. Unlike most people (I imagine), we don’t always have lots of sex while away. Something to do with how busy we usually are, I think. Time in bed is often spent sleeping and then we have to rush to get out to do or see something. This holiday I have definitely needed to catch up on sleep and for some reason my libido is a bit down right now. He though is feeling particularly horny and so is demanding more sex, but for him rather than me.

This morning the ratio was 1 to 0 in his favour. I  showered and came back to bed in the fluffy white hotel bathrobe. He asked if I would like to stroke his cock while he looked at some porn. I settled in next to him happily. A few minutes later though he said he needed to have sex with his girl. I removed the and not long afterwards as I stroked my own nipples for him, he came inside me.

I am sure though, that it won’t be long before the normal orgasm ratio returns. We head home on Thursday.

 

 

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Blogging A-Z Challenge: C

C is for Control

when we are out together our M/s dynamic is only likely to be noticed by those who know what to look for. Subtle signs of my submission exist in the way I check his preferences. He often chooses and orders food, he always picks the wine. He phrases his questions in such a way that for me they are statements I am compelled to follow. But I doubt others notice.

Control during sex for us is at another level. He is always in charge, even if I take the initiative, or am on top. This is the time and place when I am stripped to my very core, whether naked or clothed. He is my Master, my Lord. I am his slut, slave, bitch. Something comes over us during foreplay and sex that I can’t quite put my finger on. It is as if my anxieties slip away, I lose the need to be someone I am not and can just focus on him. To be the real me, his slave.

Orgasm Control

From the very beginning of our relationship he took control of my ability to choose when, where and how I experienced an orgasm. He has never prohibited me from having orgasms when I am along, but I do have to thank him. Even when he is absent. This is a rule that I have never broken.

When we are together I am not allowed to cum until he tells me I can. Last weekend it became apparent that even during immense amounts of stimulation I am able to control my orgasms until he allows me to cum. For Master’s birthday we went to stay in a house that has been converted into a dungeon. I have always wanted to try mechanical sex machines, and last Friday I got the chance. Vibrating, whirling and moving dildos provided an amazing amount of stimulation to my body. But it wasn’t until afterwards that  he remarked that I didn’t orgasm until he granted permission.

This has me thinking about control in a different way. He does control me, but surely I must have developed control over my own body so that he can control it?

Or is it just conditioning?

Orgasm control

Probably the first ‘rule’ applied to me as a new submissive was orgasm control. I was told that my orgasms no longer belonged to me, that they were his property and that I should ask permission to orgasm and that once I had cum, I must thank him and tell him that it was his.

I had read quite a bit about being a submissive by that time, and orgasm control seemed to be common place. What is more, S had required me to ask permission to cum when we were together, so this was nothing new.

Orgasm control with Master is a little different though. This isn’t about me feeling that I am about to cum and then seeking permission, this is about him demanding that I cum when, where and how he wants. Over time, and with training or conditioning, much like one of pavlov’s dogs, I really can cum at the moment he desires. He may be stroking my clit, he may be pinching a nipple, he may be deep inside one of my holes, or there may be no physical contact at all. But, when he says cum, I do.

I have long since stopped wondering how this can be happening to me, I suspect it is a form of conditioning as mentioned above. I love the control he has over me, that he can make me cum at will. It adds to the feeling of control that I know that he has over me and it makes me horny just to think about.

Occasionally he denies me an orgasm at the time I request it, but he is not very good at doing so for long. He truly loves me to cum and see and feel the juices that flow, to hear my breathing change, to hear me gasp, to see the look in my eyes. I love him for this; who wouldn’t? I know other submissive women are denied orgasms for prolonged periods, so I count myself extremely lucky.

For me, the advantages of having my orgasms controlled far out weigh any disadvantages. I recognise it as part of what I have ‘signed up for’ in agreeing to become his slave. It is part of the control, part of his ownership of me, my body and mind. Part of the power he has over me and which be both know we need.

I guess the only small disadvantage is that it means that when I am alone and I decide I need to cum it is less pleasurable than when we are together. I still thank him for the orgasm, and tell him it is his, but if he is not there to hear me say the words then what is the point. So, even though I am allowed, I tend not to orgasm very often when I am on my own. The feelings produced by my fingers or a vibrator are good, but they last just a few moments. I much prefer that he be there and that the control is overt and real.

Keeping tally

Being written on is a feature of this relationship and is something this slave have come to really enjoy. There is something both erotic and humiliating about having words such as slut, whore, property, Master’s or indeed MPB written on your body. Master frequently gets his sharpie pen out and writes on his girl’s flesh. Usually he writes on the breast or lower abdomen and he seems to get quite a thrill out of it as does this girl. Often it takes some days for the ink to rub / be washed off and there is a certain thrill to standing in front of the mirror after a few days and catching sight of his words. Something quite new is the orgasm tally for the weekend / night / day.

Master loves giving orgasms to his slave. He tries to deny her for periods of time, but since he enjoys the look on her, the way her back arches and body shudders he is more in favour of multiple orgasms than none at all.

But all orgasms are controlled and they are counted and every time the slave is given permission to cum she thanks him and tell him who it belongs to.

This weekend’s tally is 11 – 6 (shown in the picture) yesterday and 5 this morning. Master keeps count as this girl finds it difficult to do so, given that the orgasms might come (or cum) close together and will have caused some degree of sexual fogginess of the brain. Number 1 was definitely after he had used his tongue on this girls clitoris, and was also tweaking a nipple. Another was when Master instructed the slave to touch herself and bring herself off. Others were during penetration – His cock inside while Master rubbed her, or as his cock moves in and out of her.

Master loves to get this girl into such a state of arousal that she is almost in a permanent state of orgasm. Such a thing happened yesterday and again this morning. Indeed this morning this girl almost orgasmed by stroking Master’s cock with her hands, feeling the soft flesh, noting the contrast between that softness and the hardness of His erection. He began to feel one of her nipples and she exclaimed how wet she was, just through the act of touching him. His fingers moved to feel that wetness and he asked if should would like to cum. Of course she wanted to and within seconds another was added to the tally.

As something of a part 2, here is the photo this girl took 2 years ago yesterday when Master had first asked her to become His slave:

The morning after – hangover cure

This girl felt a little lot hungover when she woke pretty early, the morning after the quiet night in before. She got up to pee and also took something for the headache and lay down wondering if she might be sick. Luckily as she lay remembering the harness and events, the feelings began to subside and she began to doze happily. Sleep was what she needed and then once she awoke again she would feel fine. She had not bargained on Master waking at that moment and informing her that he felt fine and in fact, was feeling horny.  

Master’s hands moved over his slave’s body, pausing over her nipples, rubbing and squeezing them. This girl knew that while she might prefer to sleep, that wasn’t really an option, therefore she opened her legs so that He could access his property more easily. She was already wet – no surprise of course, this girl’s body often gives her away. Pausing to taste her pussy, moments later He thrusted inside her. For all this slave told herself that this wasn’t what she really wanted at this moment, her body continued to give her away and she found her hips arching in response. Master reminded her of the numerous orgasms that she had given Him the night before, and informed her that she had many more to give.
He was right of course and she found that they were released easily. This girl began to feel a little spaced out as her submission took over and she gave Master what He wanted. On top now, she ground into Him, rubbing herself on his pelvis as she moved on top of Him. He in turn squeezed her now hard nipples, informing her that they were harder than He had ever seen them. Eventually she lady beside Him and slave and Master slept for a while. This girl felt relaxed and happy in her slave space and suddenly not a bit hung over. Master in turn seemed pretty satisfied.
An hour or so later, both were awake again and Master was ready to deliver His prize to her. She wondered where he would deliver it. He took her from behind and once again she felt the animal desires of arousal engulf her again as she orgasmed for Him again. Then she took Him in her mouth, before He decided to release His load onto her slutty body, onto the mound of pubic hair she is required to keep for Him.
As they lay together again, this girl remembered some more about the previous night; the golden shower she had taken, and the instruction that there is no need for her to wear clothes on her lower half when at home with Master. Today she wore a dress, but knows that another day, just a top will suffice. Something that shows off her slutty body and which is accessible to Him. Those thoughts turn this girl on and carrying out His requirements will do that too.

Happy slave, exhausted Master

This morning this girl awoke quite early. Master opened His eyes briefly and this girl asked Him if He was still tired.

“Exhausted” He exclaimed
“Why?” this girl asked
“That mammoth fuck” was His reply, along with the fact He has had something of a stomach bug this last week.

But, yes that fuck was mammoth. In fact it was in three parts.

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On Friday night this girl cooked dinner and afterwards we sat at the table chatting and listening to some music. Master got up for the table, went to His bag and returned with a leather harness. This girl stripped off and Master framed Her breasts between the straps, tightening the buckles at her back and front, and tying the collar. He took some photos, which no doubt will appear somewhere at some point. We moved into the living room and this girl spent some time kneeling on the floor sucking His cock. Master likes to look at and feel His property, to get her back into the right frame of mind. This was especially the case given that this girl had managed to get herself into a stressed state the previous evening.

Later in bed, Master took possession of His girl, claiming her body and taking a number of orgasms from her.

In the morning shortly after waking, this girl was instructed to suck His cock and then to get on top of Him and ride. He asked this girl if she wanted to cum, which of course she did.  He started the count at 20! That man knows how to tease a girl, one who is currently riding His cock. And especially when at 8 He began to stroke her clit and one nipple. Fit to explode she just about managed to hold on till He reached 0. She was rewarded shortly afterwards though when this girl was allowed to lick her juices from Him and to receive her prize.

There was of course much more to the whole thing than that. For a start there were lots and lots of orgasms which always impairs the memory.

………………………….
This morning there was more cock worship, more riding Master and more orgasms. There was also time spent discussing our relationship and the ways in which Master has trained this girl and the ways in which she is developing into the slave He wants. 
This afternoon Master measured this girl’s neck………..

Cum bunny

New title for this girl over the weekend. It would be true to say that she first coined it for herself, but it stuck. If there is one thing He likes, it is to take orgasms from His girl. He loves the power He has over them, that it is He who gives permission and who has the control, after He is the owner of them. It is He who determines the type of orgasm, whether stimulation is involved and then of what. The girl is merely His toy, His plaything, His slave.

So here is the thing, how much of an orgasm is physical and how much of it is in the mind? We were discussing the different types of orgasms this girl has given her Master over the past few days. The ones which involve penetration, and so originate from the g-spot, or have direct stimulation of the clitoris are most definitely different in their feel and intensity than those brought on by say nipple stimulation. The feel of Him filling her, while her muscles contract around Him just feed into the orgasm. For Him, well He just loves the feel of girl’s muscles contracting as she cums.

But then there is the power thing. He loves to count down, starting at 10, or 5 and then tells this girl to cum. Sometimes this doesn’t work as they both might like, but usually she is suddenly gripped with the feelings of an impending orgasm, and finds her hips arching and moisture oozing from within. It is getting on for a year since He first began to experiment with girl in this way and if anything it has led to a greater intensity in the orgasms than ever before.

When we are apart it is rare for this girl to need to orgasm, occasionally He tells her He wants her to orgasm, perhaps when she is wearing her plug. But she rarely seeks permission of her own accord. Personally, this girl prefers to cum in His presence, at His hand or spoken command.

This girl knows that Master loves how multi orgasmic this girl has become – indeed she is now His cum toy; cum bunny.

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March Questions – We are happy to answer any questions you might have about us and our relationship, so ask away 

A dozen orgasms before breakfast

Actually this girl isn’t too sure how many orgasms she gave Sir before they got out of bed yesterday morning. Having used her for His pleasure on Saturday, he seemed intent on playing with her on Monday morning. This girl knows how much it turns Him on, not only to own her orgasms but to make her cum at His will. This girl is hardly going to tell Him to stop, given how much she also loves to cum.

This girl (as she has perhaps mentioned before) used to find it difficult to cum. It tended to take quite a bit of time for this girl, even with a vibrator on full speed over her clit. With Sir, He now just has to stroke her a little or even, we have discovered, place His hand over her crotch and she is able to cum on his count. This girl is required to tell Him that the orgasm is His as she cums for Him and sometimes the feeling is just so intense it is a while before she can actually speak. What is more, they go on for a long time.

So many orgasms, so early in the morning (though over a good couple of hours) set this girl up nicely for the day. They help this girl stay in her submissive place for the whole day, even if we are not together. This is a feeling this girl would like to bottle, so that when she is feeling a little out of control, a little stressed she could easily recapture.

This girl has discovered that inserting her plug helps centre her. Indeed one evening last week, Sir instructed this girl to put her plug in. He sensed in her texts that she was getting a little stressy and needed to remember her place. However this girl does not always have a butt plug handy, and needs to work through how to find her submission in those circumstances. This girl wonders however if perhaps the piercings, which they plan to get this weekend coming, will help.

Used

That sums up this weekend for this girl; a slut, used by her Sir.

It has been a long holiday weekend here in the UK and it has been a busy one.  On Friday, this girl headed off to the south west of the country for a family lunch. In the absence of a husband or son accompany to her this girl’s niece who is 16 kept her company in the car. This was as well, as all of the warnings about Easter weekend traffic came to bear. A 2 hour journey became 4 hours. However, it was worth the journey as the food and company was superb. The late arrival, however meant that this girl and Sir didn’t get to see each other until Saturday.

Sir had obviously spend some of that time thinking through how He wanted to use this girl; she wasn’t disappointed.

When this girl arrived at Sir’s house, He took immediate possession of this girls body. Undoing her clothes and touching her. Without being told to, since she knew it was what He wanted, this girl stripped.

This girl knelt on the bed, her ankles shackled, a spreader bar keeping her legs wide. Sir inserted a butt plug (a larger one than usual), a dildo into her cunt and demanded some orgasms using the hitachi.  This girl was flogged, maybe whipped (who knows which of his implements he was using) as the pain and pleasure merged. Later He used the violet wand on her, or perhaps before, this girl always has difficulty in identifying the order things happen in. This girl definitely experienced more pain than before but knows that she can and will take more in the future. Finally, Sir fucked this girl, using her cunt and arse before cumming in her mouth. This girl felt incredibly used and ever more horny for knowing that it was for His pleasure.

This girl feels her submission so much more when He gives the impression that He is just taking what is His. When he tells her she is a slut, a whore or his favourite; a bitch. Even when He told her she was useless fuckmeat she felt proud, fulfilled. This girl now cums for her Sir, just because she is feeling used. Sometimes He isn’t actually touching her when this happens.

Essentially this girl is just a possession of His, to use as He wants. What is more, she just loves it.

This was playing on the radio as this girl drove home:

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