There are no categories beginning with X on my blog. So I went over to Kinkly to find a word to use and so my new category beginning with X is Xeronisus. It means a person who is unable to orgasm at all. Apparently it is a relatively common condition, more common in females. Those with the condition are unable to achieve orgasm through either masturbation or sexual intercourse.
I’m extremely pleased to say that I don’t suffer from xeronisus, though I have struggled to reach orgasm from time to time. At the moment I find it difficult without direct clitoral stimulation, preferably a vibrating toy.
When masturbation meant going solo I sometimes found orgasm difficult to reach. I could lie there stroking my clit for ages, insert toys into my vagina and still not come. What’s more vibrating toys sometimes couldn’t get me off either.
I found a great site called masturbation dot com which no longer seems to exist. There they had not only sexy stories but also information on how to get the most from masturbation. There I discovered more about my anatomy in relation to orgasms than I had learnt elsewhere. Subsequently I found my G spot, something of a revelation. Clitoral orgasms are my favourite still but I do love a G spot one and Master is pretty good at locating it with his cock.
Interestingly, Kinkly suggests that exploring your body or doing so with your partner is a way to help overcome xeronisus. As is increasing foreplay. This may be part of the reason I struggled while married.
My ex wasn’t big on foreplay. I’ve written before that he though it involved little more than a quick grope of the tits. What’s more he was in favour of getting his satisfaction and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t already come when he had. I learned to satisfy myself, but had to actually learn how to do that. I came to it all late too.
Master loves foreplay. In fact there may not even be sex at the end. He loves to give me pleasure and to take it for himself. He also likes me to orgasm and to do so a lot.
I wrote last year about Master’s control of my orgasms. After 6 years it is part of my normal life. He has never said I can’t masturbate but I must ask permission to orgasm and to thank him afterwards. When I lived alone (or semi alone) he would often give free rein to come. I used to thank him straight after even if he wasn’t there. Now we live together I don’t masturbate alone.
For some unknown reason I have stopped being able to come on demand. Something that used to happen with ease. I have a hunch the tablets I take to reduce oestrogen levels in my body are the cause, but can’t be sure. Master therefore uses our wand to force them out of me.
Receptive to Change
Over the years I and we have had to change in order to get the best from our relationship and sex life. That includes orgasms and masturbation. I’ve become a much more sexual person over time. Reading erotica and books about power exchange relationships made me want to masturbate and orgasm. The discovery that I knew my own body less than I imagined was a bit of a wake up. Finding out that things that got me off suddenly didn’t have been scary. But I and we have found our way around them and no doubt there will be more learning to come as both our bodies age.
I’ve never experienced xeronisus and hope I never do. But finding the word has made me think about how wonderful orgasms are and how they have changed for me over time.