Content warnings

Photo by Tyler B on Unsplash

Content Warning: Cancer – A discussion about whether blog posts mentioning my breast cancer diagnosis should contain content warnings.

Recently I’ve been a bit irritated by the hashtags a friend of mine uses every day on her instagram posts. These in turn a reposted on facebook and if you subscribe, to her YouTube account. This friend follows a pretty extreme diet, which she believes has helped her remission from stage 4 cancer. The first 3 or 4 hashtags have the word cancer in them. She looks fantastic and whether the diet is responsible or not, I am of course happy that she is so well. I don’t want to be the one to ask her to move the cancer related hashtags down the list (there’s usually about 20), but I do feel somewhat triggered. This got me thinking about content warnings on my blog.

Supporting evidence for content warnings

The Sex Bloggers for Mental Health site has this week reiterated the importance of using content warnings for posts where readers may find difficult to read or traumatic. Posts which could trigger trauma or PTSD. One of the subjects mentioned is cancer. The post there was originally written and posted on Melody’s blog by SwirlingFire. Indeed I only read that this week and have commented.

So, my question to myself and others if you care to respond is: Should I put content warnings on my posts about cancer? Also, should I do this retrospectively with what is already posted. Lets face it I have been very open and honest about my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. Plus the body image issues it presents me with.

What’s more, this week a post was retweeted (my old post revived widget posts directly to twitter) and a fellow blogger didn’t realise it was an old post. This made me wonder if I should go back through old posts and label them so that it’s clear that they are old. Or else should I actually remove them from the posts that are revived?

Up until now I’ve never put a content warning on anything

I’ve always been of the opinion that when people read my blog they know what they are getting. I make it clear that I am a slave and have a master. Also that we participate in BDSM activities. I try to be careful about consent issues and don’t really write about non consent. Even though our relationship is based on power exchange / CNC. But perhaps I need to be more careful there too.

It’s easy to be blasé about this issue. Until it happens to you and I guess that is exactly what has happened. Thoughts welcome please.

Click the badge below to see who else is taking part in January Jumpstart.

Elust #126

Thank you Cara for choosing my post An advent diary as one of your picks for this month’s Elust!

Elust 126 Header

Photo courtesy of May More of Sex Matters

Welcome to Elust 126

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #125? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

2020, the year I stop masturbating.

I Am Fat: On Fat Acceptance and Fat Shaming

Colour Match

 

~ Featured Post by our Guest Editor(Cara’s Picks) ~

An advent diary

Splosh!

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

From ‘Innocent’ Girl to Obedient Slave
The Trail
How to have the worst sex ever (if you’re me)
I think I have sex dreams
Moving On When You Can’t Stop Holding On
Bucket, Fuck and Christmas Lists

Blogging

Evolution of Sweetgirl’s Blog

Books and Movies

Castle: The Celluloid Dungeon

Erotic Non-Fiction

Locked For Christmas 2019
I Had Sex in My Teachers Bed
Submissive Romance
Oasis

Erotic Fiction

Naughty Elf
After the Convention
List in a Bucket ~ Looking Back
Present Number 3
A Naughty Christmas Pudding
A Christmas Offering-A fairy Tale
Christmas Cracker [Part 2]
A Dream So Real

Poetry

-28.11.19_07:31-

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Femdom for bushfire relief

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Whither Joy

Elust 2020 Logo

Motivation

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

This was the last of my navel gazing, reflective posts (well for now). Onwards we march into January 2020. For once in my life I still feel motivated and it’s already the second week of the year! But joking aside, what gets and keeps me motivated?

Blogging motivation

I’m definitely being helped along by my new planner. I’m still learning to use it, but this afternoon I’m going to spend some time on the project planning pages. I have plans for this blog and also the continuing development of Food, Fitness and Health. There are some great features too, space on the back of each diary page. A beautiful folder and because it’s loose leaf I can move stuff around. So far so good. But of course, my motivation will only last as long as I produce results. I’ve not really been feeling sexy or kinky lately, which has hit my ability to write anything erotic. But I’m hoping that will change, and prompts do help that. The Food for Thought prompt this week is intimacy, so……..

Sex, kink and submission

These elements of my and our life ebb and flow. Busy times such as Christmas mean that we are focused outwards and not inwards. Plus, we are both pretty sure that the lack of day and sunlight affects us. This winter is so far not cold, but it has been wet and more often than not overcast. Plus we don’t have a week in the sun to look forward to this year.

But we have plans coming up. This weekend we are off to a new (to us) club and so there will be play. The release of endorphins will, I think help us both. Master also has plans for March – something special after Eroticon (more news later) and his birthday celebration. He has plans for us to go away, but won’t tell me where we are going. I managed to squeeze an average temperature from him and it definitely isn’t the Caribbean. However, I know that wherever we go we will be sure to focus on our dynamic plus hopefully have some good sex.

Work

I’ve recently taken on some voluntary work with a charity which will take up a bit of my time going forward. I was thrilled to have been asked to join the board and hope that I will get the chance to learn as well as share my expertise. There’s also some paid work in the offing. I was a bit worried I’d need to go to an agency but it looks like that might not be necessary. There’s nothing like being wanted to make you feel motivated. I need to replenish my savings a bit in this half of the year and that is motivation enough to look for work.

Community

People (including me) have had a bit more time on their hands lately and this had led to a higher level of engagement. Or so it seems. I’m trying to read and comment on more blog posts and to engage on twitter. February photofest is a great blogging community event and will be coming up all too soon. We’ve started to take some extra photos and edit old ones so I have enough material to join in. Then there’s the run up to Eroticon (66 days and counting), always a motivating event and time.

Health and fitness

I start most years with plans to lose weight, get fitter etc and then lose motivation when it proves too hard. I struggle with changing habits for longer than a week or two. So, given I have a good reason to keep going this year I am trying to take it day by day. But to focus each day on doing the best I can and if I slip to carry on the next day. Maybe that is a message for any goals – tomorrow is always another day.

Down a blogging rabbit hole

I had planned to write every day for Jumpstart January. But yesterday I found myself down a blogging rabbit hole. As I mentioned in my post on Tuesday, I have started a new blog – Big Fanfare:

Food, Fitness and Health

I set it up about 6 weeks ago, but December was a busy month and I hadn’t had the time to devote to it. Then after Christmas and over the past few days I have been writing every day. I have a lot I want to write about my thoughts of food and eating, on getting fitter and on health in general. I also feel that before I invite others to contribute their thoughts I ought to have a bit of material I’ve written myself.

But also I want it to look right and I wasn’t especially happy with how it looked (though I like the theme I’ve chosen on the while). So yesterday I decided to put together a front page and then crazily published it too early. Hours passed while I tried to fix things and so I spent all afternoon and half the evening down a WordPress plugin rabbit hole. It’s still not quite right but lets call it work in progress. Plus I want to write something here. Especially as the Wicked Wednesday post where I wrote about it as one of my goals was chosen in the round up by Marie. Plus she has kindly highlighted it. My plans for this new place are:

Plans for Food Fitness and Health

Provide a vanilla place for myself to write about my progress to maintaining my health and being ready for surgery. This will require me to lose some weight, but also to be fit for surgery. Then afterwards to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Provide a place where people might find my Breast Cancer journey (though it will still be here), I’m hoping to attract non Sex Bloggers as well as my lovely kinky friends.

Provide a space for others to write about their health goals and projects. To provide encouragement, advice and support to each other. This isn’t about saying we all have to conform to the same ideal. Since health means different things to different people.

To share recipe ideas. This won’t just be about eating food that might be considered ‘healthy’. Since feeling good also includes sweets, chocolate and carbs. But in the main I will be trying to find ways around sugar, food with fewer starchy carbohydrates etc. So any recipes to make me feel good while eating healthy will be fabulous.

Link to other sites such as Sex Bloggers for Mental Health, since mental health is as (if not more) important as physical health. Certainly one can’t happen without the other. Links to other health and food related blogs and sites I wouldn’t link to here.

Review books and try to weave through the crazy world of diets, weird fads and health crazes. Including calling out the downright dangerous, body and sex negative stuff that fills the internet.

In a few weeks

I’ll launch a meme (plus guest posts) over there for sharing food, fitness and health related articles, stories – good and bad. I hope you will come and join me there.

2020 – Goals and plans for the New Year

I’ve written a couple of reflective posts over the last couple of weeks. This one offering my personal thoughts and reflections of 2019 and this, a review of my blogging year. And now, on New Year’s Eve 2019 I turn to 2020 and my goals and plans for the coming year.

Last year at this time I bought myself a planner and used it reasonably well for the first 6 months or so. Really though I only planned a month at a time and kept rolling goals and plans forward. I was always going to lose weight, always going to earn money, to redesign my blog and write loads. But at the end of the year I am the same weight, earned only a small amount of money and my blog is exactly the same. So, my first goal is to use my new planner properly and to set longer term goals as well as short term ones. I’ve begun that process, which is how I am able to articulate them here in this post.

Goal number 2

I want to be fitter and healthier. This does involve losing weight, but is more about being fit for surgery. Which is likely to take place towards autumn 2020. I’ve been exploring changes to my diet and have been intermittent fasting for about 6 weeks (some weeks more seriously than others). This involves fasting for around 16 hours and eating during an 8 hour window. I’ve made no other real changes but have lost a few pounds. This year I am going to try to work out what foods are good for me and which are not. I’ve been swimming most weeks for 7 months or so and I want to step up the exercise regime now. This all brings me to goal number 3.

Goal number 3

A new blog. I’d been toying with the idea of starting something new about health and wellbeing. Something to help me along in meeting the challenge of getting ready for surgery. Marie messaged me to say she had been thinking of doing something similar, but wondered if I might want to do it. Great minds hey? So I got myself a new domain – because I want it to standalone from this and attract people who might not be interested in the stuff I write here. But also I wanted to give myself more accountability.

The past few weeks have been busy, so it is a bit less ready than I wanted. January will be about creating content, raising profile and getting people to visit and contribute. The purpose of Food and Fitness for Health is to promote a healthier lifestyle without becoming obsessed with thinness. I’m never going to be thin, but I do want to be healthy and I want others to share in that process. The blog will be about food – healthy food doesn’t need to be dull and boring. We all have to eat and can’t survive on salad and vegetables alone. We need chocolate, the occasional pizza, burgers. Because life isn’t just about physical wellbeing but emotional health too.

I’ve discovered exercise is good for me physically but also helps my mental health. It clears my mind of worries and confusion and allows me to function better.

I want people to share their stories about food, fitness and health. I want it to be a sex positive and body positive place, but it won’t be a sex blog as such. I hope that if you are reading this you will want to join me over there and contribute. More details on that to come.

Goal number 4

The time has come to take this blog to the next level, both in terms of content and style. In April it will be 8 years old and in February I will have been self hosting for 3 years. Early in the New Year I plan to start playing around with a new blog style and trying to make it as welcoming and fabulous as I can. Maybe creating a gallery of my photos, separating out types of posts etc.

In terms of content I want to focus on being able to pitch ideas for other sites and make some money. To do that I need to write content for the blog that is the same quality as it would need to be to pitch and sell. That I think is where the planning comes in. I’m writing this post to publish this afternoon and while I have thoughts about how it should end up it is being spontaneously written. That is how most posts are written and that will continue. But also I want to produce more research based and thoughtful writing both for MPB and Food and Fitness for Health. That takes time, but also provides an opportunity to schedule posts and to decide not to put them here but to pitch them elsewhere.

This brings me to Goal number 5 – Fiction

I want to write fiction, but need to be in the right head space and I think I am pretty much there. I am going to write a new fiction piece on MPB every month. I toyed with the idea of joining the Smut Marathon again but really don’t think I need to pressure. So, I’ll concentrate on writing here, though I may use some of the Smut Marathon posts. Instead of joining in I’ll commit to reading, commenting and voting on the entries. As well as reading more fiction written by my fellow sex bloggers since that helps with my own writing too.

Well, I think that’s enough to be going on with. So here’s to a successful blogging year in 2020 for me and for all of you lovely people who visit and who comment. Happy New Year!

Photo by Denise Karis on Unsplash

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

2019 In Review

Over the past few years, at the end of December, I’ve looked back over my blog and created a review. The year has, on the whole been a good one, we’ve travelled to new places and done some fabulous things. This is my 235th post this year, up considerably on last year. I’ve discovered that writing about something is better than writing nothing. So it was only when I was away for the whole of July that I didn’t write at least twice a week. I’ll write more about stats when I post about my plans for 2020. But now, this is my year – 2019 in review.

January

The year didn’t start especially well for me, a hangover as it were from 2018. The unfinished business was radiotherapy for my breast cancer. The treatment itself wasn’t bad, but the cumulative effects – physical and emotional were. This post sums up the month. I haven’t written for the Sex Bloggers for Mental Health meme often and this is something I plan to rectify in 2020.

On 10th January I wrote this Friday Flash post and although I haven’t written much fiction in 2019 I managed two in January. My goal in 2020 will be at least one piece of fiction per month.

Being mainly confined to home, I wrote 27 posts in January, which set me up pretty well for February photofest.

February

My 7th highest post / category of all time is my February Photofest one for 2019. I posted 36 times, so it obviously wasn’t all about the images. I began to show bits of my body, and especially noticeable are the radiotherapy burns visible on any photo showing my chest.

Tell me about, which is co-run by Missy and Sweetgirl, have led to some reflective and thought provoking posts in 2019. This one, about showing my own vulnerability, is no exception.

Love Lock, is a fiction piece about genital piercings used to provide female chastity. I’ve now linked it to my most popular post ever – Chastity, does a girl need to be locked in? Something I did following a talk by Girl on the Net at Eroticon (more of that event below).

March

There were 19 posts in March, and two of my favourites are photos posted for Sinful Sunday. This one, Double Exposure was for the prompt week at the beginning of the month and Birthday Breakfast at the very end on Master’s birthday. Both were taken in hotel bedrooms and I am thankful that we have the opportunity to travel both here and abroad and to stay in some fabulous places. In these relaxed environments I have begun to feel able to share photos of my body again.

The other notable event was Eroticon, which I wrote about here. As the conference rolls around again soon, I am really excited to catch up with old friends and to meet new people.

April

Once again I joined in with the Blogging A-Z, this time using my blog history to examine how my journey has progressed. I found it a useful reflective tool which showed me how I have changed (or not) along the way. I posted 29 times, often combing other memes with the Blogging A-Z one. While I said afterwards that I wouldn’t participate again, I have an idea so I just might!

Favourite posts from this month were this one, of Master in the Swing of Relaxation and this one entitled Kinky. Both include images taken at STOXX which is sadly no longer available to rent.

May

Of the 22 blog posts for May, several are especially memorable. On 1st I wrote my Confessions of an unruly slave for The Erotic Journal Challenge. Brigit’s prompts are thought provoking and now they are monthly I’m better able to join in with them all. I think that particular post sums me up. I want to be the perfect slave, but often fall short.

Unmentionable has turned out to be particularly popular in terms of traffic. This is in no small way due to being placed in the top 3 posts for Elust #119. I would highly recommend submitting to Elust to help broaden your readership.

At the end of May we toured around Holland and Belgium for a week, during which time we were lucky enough to meet up with Marie Rebel and Master T. We enjoyed a lovely afternoon / evening together which I write about here. I’m looking forward to seeing both at Eroticon in March.

The following day we travelled to Amsterdam where we stayed in the Kinky Suite. My review is here.

June

Once again I joined Every Damn Day in June on Hy’s blog, and while I didn’t manage to post every day I did manage 29 posts. I participated in my first Lingerie is for everyone meme with this post. There’s new lingerie for 2020, so, I will be participating again soon.

I discovered a friend had passed away in April, but didn’t know until mid June. I wrote about him here.

July

We left for France at the beginning of July. Somehow I had run out of steam and was a bit out of love with writing and posting. So, there wee only 4 posts, one of which was Elust. Lazy days and hot nights sums up the month.

August

We were away for the majority of August too. But despite being on a boat with no Wifi for a week I still managed to write 12 blog posts. My favourite photo, posted for Sinful Sunday was this one – Topless. At last I was getting my mojo back!

On 29th I wrote about some issues I’ve been having with elusive orgasms. I’m pleased to say that the strategies we have been taking since seem to be helping.

September

This month we returned to CMnf after a break of a year and my mastectomy. I wrote here, about the wonderful reception I received. Sun kissed skin was a favourite photo, posted for Wicked Wednesday. How I love the feeling of the sun on my skin. Something to think about in the middle of winter!

The Smutathon took place at the end of September and while I wasn’t a participant, I wrote this post about abortion to link in with something that I consider a very important cause.

October

My Kissing Vignettes post for Food For Thought was in hindsight a way of edging myself back towards writing fiction. The post is based on some happy memories, but with a little artistic licence thrown in. The other of my 15 posts during October that I want to highlight is this one.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last year during awareness month. My Breast Care Nurse warned me at the time to steer clear of the internet and I can understand why. This year, May More contacted me to ask if I was happy for her to write something to raise awareness, which of course I was. She inspired me to write the post above.

November

My Sinful Sunday post for November didn’t conform to the set prompt. But having the image available to use, I just had to post it. Molly and many others retweeted my post and then it and then it was chosen as one of the top Sinful Sunday posts that week, despite not being related to the prompt. I still feel proud and positive about this image. It has gone on to be the 6th most viewed post of all time (not just this year). And was partly responsible for my best ever blog stats that month.

My post – Submissive Training is it necessary for Tell Me About has proved immensely popular, and is currently number 8 on the all time list. The other of my 19 posts for November to highlight is this one. Bedroom Talk is another post based on reality, but which lends itself to a kind of faction (when you kind of remember stuff but have to elaborate). I posted this on Masturbation Monday.

December

That Bedroom Talk post inspired me to actually write some fiction. I’m really proud of An Advent Diary and am thinking of making it into a rolling story through the year. Perhaps the next instalment will be around Valentines……

At the beginning of December I was happy and proud to find that I was once again recognised in the Top 100 Sex Blogger List. This year I am at 32. My aim is for a top 10 spot, which will need some work both in terms of content and blog structure. I’m up for a challenge,

F4Thought

Christmas stresses

The run up to Christmas has been a little fraught. It shouldn’t have been, but a series of events at the weekend seem to have sent me off kilter. So much so that I am really not looking forward to the journey to my mum’s later today. I truly wish we were staying at home. However we must go and spend two nights with her, even though she won’t be at all grateful. What’s more she will probably spend most her waking hours watching TV. Something she never did in the past. So, back to the series of events.

Friday

We went into London and saw a film. It was a Danish film, Ordet (The Word), made in 1955. It is very well made and obviously subtitled. But it was really quite harrowing and very moving. A woman dies following childbirth and is subsequently resurrected by her brother in law who believes himself to be Jesus Christ. At the time I wondered if this was a suitable and fitting film so close to Christmas, but on reflection it probably was. Since it is about the small mindedness of people and the way in which we disregard people we believe to be mad. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

Saturday

We arrived home late on Friday night, but I slept well. I was up early on Saturday morning and set off to my mum’s at about 10. She has been completely disinterested in Christmas this year. I’ve found her irritating, though I know she is down because of a fall she had a few weeks ago. This resulted in a leg ulcer which the nurse at the GP surgery has been dressing. Thankfully it is healing, but she has been very miserable about it. Worried I would be late, I didn’t stop off to pick up the parcel I needed to collect from the post office. Instead I headed straight onto the motorway.

Traffic was quite heavy, the road was wet though it was a sunny morning. It had obviously rained a lot over night. People were driving erratically, speeding up and slowing down and changing lane – a lot!. Only 20 minutes into my journey the cars ahead of me slowed and then the one in front stopped. I was in the outside lane of a busy motorway, driving at about 50 mph. But I stopped and didn’t hit the car in front. Unfortunately the car behind me hit me and then behind us was absolute carnage. Thankfully no one hit the car that hit me, but behind people crashed into each other at an alarming rate. I looked back with horror that I had caused it all. Though of course I hadn’t. Thankfully no one was badly hurt or killed, we all had an amazingly lucky escape.

My mum was very understanding that I needed to turn round and go home. I felt nervous just driving those few miles. The car is drivable but damaged quite badly at the back. So of course there was the insurance company to call etc. Later I called mum and said Master and I would travel there for the day on Sunday, get the shopping and take her out for some dinner. She didn’t sound happy, but accepted it.

In the evening we went to our local pub. They had an older couple running a disco, of old favourites. We got up to dance and had a fabulous time. Unfortunately someone dropped some of their drink on the floor and next thing I was on my backside. I had bashed my knee and almost did the splits. Still, no massive damage I thought and we walked home.

Sunday

I woke realising that I probably should have put an ice pack on my knee before going to bed. It was really painful and swollen. However I can walk on it and I don’t think it’s anything serious. It still hurts but is getting better each day now.

We set off for Mum’s in good time to get to the shops etc (Master drove). But for some reason I didn’t realise that they would all close at 4pm (usual Sunday trading times). We got to her in good time, but she was watching an old film. I tried a couple of times to get her to go out before the end of the film, she was recording it on her sky box anyway. At one point during that hour, she stated that she has little interest in Christmas this year!.

Anyway by the time we got out of the house and to the supermarket it was closing in 5 minutes. So we went and had dinner early. Then we went back to her place, I wrapped up some of the presents I had bought for her to give to other people. Then we left. I don’t begrudge seeking her, but neither of us were happy that we had travelled 4 hours (there and back) for a rather substandard meal out and everything still to do on Monday.

We did have a lovely bath together after we went home which was great for my sore knee.

Monday

We went out in the morning to buy presents for my 5 nephews and nieces on my mums behalf. We then bought all the food to take to her place. Unable to find some of the items I wanted in our local supermarket we then walked back down into town. Probably not the best thing for my knee, but it felt par for the course.

Tuesday (Christmas Eve)

I feel better for writing this quite whiny post. I’ve collected my brother’s present from the post office (see Saturday). The car in booked in to be repaired on Monday next week and I’ll have a hire car.

Sitting here writing this I feel grateful that I am going to be able to see my mum and other family. I have a day with my son and daughter in law to look forward to on Thursday and of course Master and I will be together. The events on Saturday could so easily have changed everything.

But I do hope my mum cheers up today (she has some grandchildren visiting this afternoon). Because I really want to be happy and not miserable myself.

Next year, I would like to go away. Let’s see what happens.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

#SoSS Celebrating sex bloggers

Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2019

I really don’t write enough #SoSS posts. I’m not great at noting down the great posts as I read them so can’t always remember highlights. This has to be another of my 2020 goals – more sharing other people’s shit.

This week, the eagerly awaited Top 100 Sex Blogs was announced. Sponsored by Chaturbate and compiled by the wonderful, very hardworking Molly Moore it is surely one of the highlights of the sex blogging calendar.

New Voices

Of the 8 New Voices for 2019 I am already a fan of several, I may well love the others, but just need to go read them. Two favourites for me at the moment are as follows: Francesca Demont has burst onto the scene with her beautiful latex clad body. But also her writing has been stunning, the St Petersburg series of posts had us all waiting with suspense for the next instalment. Deviant Succubus‘s writing came to my attention when picking out the Masturbation Monday picks recently. Since then I’ve been catching up on her kinky life and beautiful fiction.

Top 100

I was thrilled to see two of my favourite bloggers and partners in crime (Food 4 Thought) take the top two places of the main list. Floss at number 1 writes fabulous heart felt real life pieces, holding nothing (or very little) back. She is also a talented fiction writer and is one of the best sex bloggers around. Much the same could be said for May More and their scores must have been very close. May has been very open about her past life and loves and trauma. But clearly those experiences have helped make her the brilliant writer that she is.

The quality of the writing and photography on our blogs is vital, but so is the site structure. Both Floss and May’s sites are easy to navigate and striking to look at. This is something I plan to concentrate a bit more time on next year. While I like the way my blog looks, it feels time to change. Plus, I’d like to make it easier to find stuff – I struggle myself at times.

However I am proud to have moved up the rankings this year to 32 from 56. This is my second year in the top 100 and I’m aiming for something closer to top 10 next year.

One for the best things about the list is the discovery of blogs you didn’t know existed. Better than that, blogs that will hopefully become new favourites. I’m off for a read and will highlight some others on the list in my next #SoSS.

The whole list is below:
1 Floss Does Life _floss_84
2 Sex Matters May_Matters
3 On Queer Street OnQueerStreet
4 Poly.Land PolydotLand
5 Brigit Delany BrigitWrites
6 Girly Juice girly_juice
7 Temperature’s Rising
8 Mx Nillin MxNillin
9 Ms Eve Adler MsEveAdler
10 Not So Sex in the City notsosexintheci
11 Naked Wanderings NakedWanderings
12 Tabitha Rayne TabithaErotica
13 Focused and Filthy
14 Cara Sutra thecarasutra
15 My Controlled Ascent kisungura
16 Kelvin Sparks kelvinsparks_
17 The Beautiful Kind Kendra Holiday
18 Submissy 5ubmissy
19 Coffee and Kink coffeeandkink
20 Climaximaal.nl electricluna
21 Hey Epiphora epiphora
22 Little Switch Bitch _littlesbitch
23 Pain as Pleasure bibulousone
24 Cara Thereon thereon_cara
25 Annie Savoy asavoywrites
26 Tess Tesst jay_tesst
27 Scandarella ella_scandal
28 Super Smash Cache supersmashcache
29 Purple’s Gem PurplesGem1
30 Miss Ruby Reviews MissRubyReviews
31 The Other Livvy theotherlivvy
32 Master’s Pleasing Bitch MPBjulie
33 Phallophile Reviews PhallophileRev
34 Princess Previews PrincessPreview
35 Backwoods Bedroom bkwoodsbedroom
36 Victoria Blisse victoriablisse
37 Exposing 40 exposing40
38 Jayne Renault jayne_renault
39 Penny Berry littlepennyber1
40 Love, Violet fireandhoney
41 A to sub Bee sub_bee
42 Posy Chruchgate posychurchgate
43 Tall, Dark and Dominant darkanddominant
44 Toy for Sir toyforsir
45 Sweetgirl’s Journal sweetgirl_mrh
46 Holden and Camille h_and_c_dot_com/
47 Innocent Loverboy innocentlb
48 Anne Stagg annestaggwrites
49 Blue Submisson bluesubmission
50 Submissive Feminist SubFeminist
51 Kitten Boheme kittenboheme
52 Kinky & Nerdy kinkynerdy
53 Miss Scarlet Writes MissScarletUK
54 Betty Butch betty_butch
55 Joanne’s Sex machine and Sex Toy Reviews joannesreviews
56 His Lordship HisLordshipuk
57 Objects De Plaisir objets2plaisir
58 Isabelle Lauren RomanticIsa
59 Cleareyedgirl _Masterseye
60 Knkstriped ZebraRoseSub
61 Love and Lust in London LoveLustLondon
62 Happy Come Lucky ht_honey
63 Exhibit A A_unadorned
64 E. L Byrne Writer ELByrne1
65 Forbidden Writings Charlton_Tod
66 Modesty Ablaze ablazingmodesty
67 Nicci Haydon NicciHaydon
68 Rain De Grey raindegrey
69 Rocket Girl Writes Space_Dame
70 The Aqua Kink The Aquakink
71 Steeled Snake steeledsnake
72 Lippenbekenntnisse
73 Pretty Pink Lotus Bud prttypnkltsbd
74 Dildo or Dildon’t Makeupandsin
75 Lessons in Kate KateLessons
76 Tug Bro
77 The Joy As It Flies The Joy as it Flies
78 You Won’t Tame this Sassy Cat SassyCat38
79 Ria’s Writing riarestrepo
80 The Lustful Empress
81 Liz Black X
82 Kilted Wookie’s Naughty Hashtags
83 Pieces of Jade piecesofjade
84 Krystal Minx BisexualMinx
85 Miss D
86 Love is Fetish Darling Nikki
87 Our marriage
88 Lascivious Lucy LasciviousLucy
89 Chronic Sex chronicsexchat
90 Asrai Devin asrai
91 Morag’s Moist Musings MoistMusings
92 Witch of the Wands WitchofTheWands
93 A Kinky Autistic kinkyautistic
94 Cripping Up Reviews
95 Hannah McKnight HannahTGirlMN
96 Nessbow
97 Femdom Ramblings from a submissive male
98 Emmeline Peaches Reviews EmmelinePeaches
99 Melody Insights Melody

Books of my childhood

Inside pages from the book Mrs Cockle's Cat

I loved reading as a child and still do. I bought books with my pocket money and borrowed them from the library. At Christmas I often received a book or two from various aunts and uncles as well as grandparents. They usually wrote inside the cover so that you knew they had bought them for you.

This week’s Food 4 Thought is about One Book from our childhood. Goodness me, what a tough task. There were and still are so many. I kept many of my childhood books and now have them on the shelves in my little office. They sit among my adulthood favourites, books on nursing and leadership and many more. Including books my son discarded at the end of his own childhood but I can’t bear to part with. That includes a number of Roald Dahl books. I still have Enid Blyton famous 5, What Katy Did, Little Women (and the rest of the series). More contemporary books (from the 1970s) like It shouldn’t happen to a vet which became All Creatures Great and Small. But the book I wanted to talk about – The Girl in the Opposite Bed by Honor Arundel.

I don’t know where it has gone, but am sure I wouldn’t have thrown it out. Maybe there’s another box in the garage I haven’t unpacked yet. This was a book about a girl who is in hospital for a week or two. While there she encounters a girl she doesn’t like at first but whom eventually becomes her friend. But I can’t remember the exact story and can’t check it since it is out of print.

That book helped to define me in terms of my future career. Because after reading The Girl in the Opposite Bed I moved on to books about nurses (especially the Sue Barton stories). As well as others about people who were sick or injured. I must have been a fun loving adolescent!

One book I still have, that is older than The Girl in the Opposite Bed would be is Mrs Cockle’s Cat by Philippa Pearce. This is important not because of the story, though it is a good one about an elderly lady and her cat. But because I was given it as an award at primary school. I wrote a story and won a book.

Since then I’ve continued to write, but mostly for my own pleasure. As I’ve mentioned before I used to write stories in longhand as a teenager and young adult. But until I entered the Smut Marathon in 2018 I hadn’t submitted my fiction to any other competitions. Over the years I’ve lost my confidence in writing fiction and I no longer find it as easy as writing non fiction. Thinking about it, I’m maybe just a bit out of practice.

Next year I’m going to be much more specific about my goals. Later in the month I’ll publish those goals and writing fiction will be amongst them. Because if I could win a prize at around 10 years of age I’m pretty sure I can write something worth while at 57.

F4Thought

I am thankful

In the UK we don’t have a Thanksgiving celebration. But that’s not to say I don’t think it is important to express thanks for the people and things in my life. So, I am thankful to have the opportunity to join in with the Erotic Journal Challenge prompt for November.

Health

I saw the oncologist yesterday and am now on six monthly appointments between surgeon and oncologist. My first annual mammogram was clear and I am fit and well. I just need to get as fit as possible for the planned surgery some time next year. I take a daily tablet, which gives some irritating side effects. But nothing that I can’t manage. I am grateful for everything the health professionals have done over the past year and am very happy to be able to look forward fewer appointments.

Family

As Christmas approaches I am thankful for my family. I am looking forward in particular to spending time with my son and daughter in law. They celebrate a year of marriage at the end of the year – where has that time gone? We are going to spend a day at my son’s in laws, which will be something new.

My mum continues to cause me stress and irritation, but she is in reasonable health and I am grateful for that. One of my brothers causes untold anxiety and quite a bit of pain. But the other is a great support and we have become closer over the years. I am also looking forward to seeing some (if not all) of my nephews and nieces.

Master

I can’t describe how thankful I am that we found each other when we did and that we have the relationship we have. My life is good (as I write often) and I have few complaints. We have fun, visit new places and explore our kink sides as much as we can. But also we have settled into a life together and for that I am really grateful. Without him, I don’t think I’d have got through the cancer thing as well as I did. I know he is anxious about my operation next year, but is committed to helping me through as best he can.

Friends

I am so pleased we are able to attend Eroticon next spring. For a while I wasn’t sure we would. The most exciting thing is that many of the people I call friends from blog / twitter and previous Eroticons will be there. Not only that, but lots of them are speaking, which will make the choice of which sessions to attend even more difficult.

Before Christmas we are travelling to Amsterdam to see our friend their, I’m really looking forward to that few days away. We have an airbnb booked this time and I think it will be lots of fun.

Blog

This blog brings me so much pleasure. I’m so thankful I started it all that time ago, it really has given me a special place to call my own. Without the blog I doubt I would have met and become involved with such a wonderful community. This month I have had my largest ever number of visitors and views. In no small thanks to this photo, Molly and Sinful Sunday.

Blogging has become my passion this year so much more than it was. Partly as an outlet when I was feeling tired and fed up. But also as the means to exciting new opportunities. I’m planning something – an offshoot of this blog if you will – in the very near future. Once I’ve sorted the technical stuff I will say more. Plus I plan to make changes to this blog, in terms of it’s look and feel.

Finally I am in planning mode. As I said in my last post, I have realised I need to set goals and be more organised in my planning. So I won’t just say I’m going to do something, or more of another thing (like writing fiction or submitting posts), but I am going to actually set objectives for doing them. So watch this space for some of that too. The best thing I did in recent months is to join the Smutlancer community – I am really grateful to Kayla, Molly and all the other smutlancers for the encouragement and support.

Thank you too to Brigit Delaney for the Erotic Journal Challenge and this prompt.