Blogging A-Z 2018: Y and Z

So, I limp to the finish line with my final offering for the April Blogging A-Z for 2018. It seemed like a great idea to write about random topics . But this has led me to spend far too much time navel gazing and being unfocussed. I’ll bear that in mind next year, since it is rather fun to do the challenge.

Y is for you

You the people who visit my blog and comment. You, Master who reads every word I write. You the people whose blogs I visit and comment on.  You, the people who run and manage the memes I participate in. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am enjoying writing again after a year when I could have easily stopped.  This year, I intend to continue writing in May and beyond, unlike last year. I feel that I am part of a community of bloggers and writers who in the main are friendly and encouraging. But there is drama from time to time and I plan, where possible to avoid that.

Z is for Zabaglione and Zealous

Z is the 26th and final letter in the alphabet. There aren’t masses of words beginning with Z, which is one of the reasons this post wasn’t ready to go this morning and I am writing it now. But there are some interesting words for example – Zabaglione  – a lovely Italian desert. There was a restaurant nearby when I was a student that served it. Whisked egg white and some kind of alcohol mainly. I chose zabaglione for desert in Sicily and it turned up as an ice-cream. While nice, that wasn’t what I had hoped for.

Zealous, which means inspired,  enthusiastic or purposeful. I started this month in a zealous way but now, 29 days later I have little more to add. I have exhausted my zeal if you would. So, I’ll end on that note and get back to writing smut and the like!

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: W

On 21st April it was 5 years since I started writing this blog. It began on Blogger as World of Joolz then became MPB still on Blogger and now here in my own space.

W is for writing

21 days into a new and very illicit relationship, I started my blog. Looking back to those first few posts it is clear I had no idea what I was potentially getting into. Or even what I wanted. Nor did I understand what a D/s relationship really was, let alone anything about BDSM. But it turned out to be the right path, I followed my instincts and little else. Then I was on a journey into the unknown, but it was exciting and thrilling.

In the past 5 years, I have written around 880 posts. I may have lost one or two in my disastrous hosting move in February, but only that.

There have been times when writing has been my saviour. Times when my blog was the only place I could express myself. When my husband discovered (or was told) about the affair, when S unceremoniously dumped me, when I almost got myself hooked up with some weirdo.

There have been times when I have wished I had been less honest about my thoughts and feelings. For example when Master’s former slave started to read my blog and did her best to make me feel I was going mad. But equally Master has used my words to begin conversations about how I am feeling about a situation. Times when we have discussed situations that would have been difficult without the blog.

Today, I am at another crossroads in my life. One where I am thinking about having more time to do more interesting things with Master. But one too where there will be more time for writing.

 

Blogging A-Z 2018 V

I am behind again, V should have been yesterday. So tomorrow, when I have more time, I’ll catch up properly.

Voting

In just a week we have to vote in the local council elections. But since this isn’t a politics blog and making it into one would be a mistake I am going to talk about a different vote. Submissions for the 4th round of the Smut marathon are due in by Saturday and voting starts again on Sunday.

I began my entry for this round about 10 days ago and edited it right down the following day. But I only just submitted tonight. After the voting round last time I feel a bit nervous about my chances. In the second round I received quite a bit of criticism about my entry,  in terms of grammar and content. But I was surprised to find myself climb the rankings in the vote. Then in round 3 I received lots of positive reviews. People though, said they needed more votes than the 3 allowed to be able to vote for me. And so it was that I received no jury votes and probably just my own vote for myself from the public.

I think though the important thing is for more people to join in with the comments and vote. Because the more people that contribute, then the greater meaning the whole thing has.

This latest assignment was tricky, since I was in new territory. But actually I enjoyed it more than the others. So, I am hopeful I will receive some constructive feedback and at least a few votes. Whatever, the main thing is that when you get the chance, you should vote. This time too, I am going to make time to comment on everyone else entry too.

Good luck everyone.

Blogging A-Z 2018: T and U

First day back from holiday and suddenly yesterday I had lost my blogging mojo. The discovery that I am shadow banned on Twitter just added to my apathy.

Twitter

Somehow over the past couple of years I have become more and more engaged with Twitter as a social media platform. I find myself going there when I wake and again many times during the day. My posts auto tweet and during the day a couple of older posts appear. Some days I tweet quite a bit, engaging with others and other times not.

I have no way of knowing whether this behaviour alone has led to Twitter taking against me or if it is the photos. After all, the photo below, which appeared as part of my post on Sunday is pretty graphic. But since Twitter don’t admit shadow banning is even a thing, all I can do is surmise. Still it will make my SoSS all the more pertinent this week.

Undertake

Finally I am in a position to realise my objectives. At last, after more than 4 years of talking about selling my house and moving on from my marriage it is in touching distance.

Now, the hard work must be undertaken. What to throw away, what to put into storage, what to take with me. Master has cleared out a lot of clutter, but there is still work to be done. Also, he is planning some building work, so I can’t take all of my belongings straight there. Plus there is the emotional attachment I have to this house, I have lived here for 27 years. We moved here when my son was a baby of just 5 months and so there are lots of memories here.

But now is the time to move on and to create a new home, one with Master. We will both need to adapt to our new life and to make room for each other. But it will mean we can be together and can start to plan some new plans and work on those outcomes. It also means I am going to resign my job soon and take a breather. The next few months will be emotional, but interesting and fun too.

Blogging A-Z 2018: SoSS

Today is Saturday and today’s letter is S, so it must be Share our Shit Saturday (SoSS). Most mornings this week we have had a slow, leisurely start to the day. This has given me time to blog and read blogs, engage with Twitter and even Facebook.

Favorite blog post of the week

Molly Moore wrote about her life as a voyeur and how she discovered just how much watching others turns her on. She related this to her experience with a former lover and then to the polyamorous relationship that she is now part of with her husband Michael and Cara who more recently came into their life. I was privileged to meet Cara when she was in the UK recently and can understand why Michael fell for her. That Molly has been able to welcome Cara into her life and Cara has made Michael so happy is wonderful.  But more than that, Molly explains how excited she is to share Michael with Cara.

I am actually quite in awe of their situation. When my relationship with Master started, I was the third person. His then slave was planning to join him here, but was still living in the US. She was almost immediately jealous of me and tried hard to undermine me. The result was that their relationship ended. So I didn’t get the chance to know whether I would have been turned on while they had sex. We have spoken about introducing another woman for play purposes, but it hasn’t happened. It is something I am curious about, but don’t know if I would be as accepting as Molly. The idea of kissing Master while someone else sucks his cock is quite a turn on though.

Scarlett Ladies – Blog post by The Other Livvy

I wasn’t aware of Scarlett Ladies until I read this post by Livvy. It is a sex positive network of women in London that includes events and meetings to attend as well as newsletters etc. They have a wonderful website, that I need to take a closer look at. Livvy’s blog post is an update on one she wrote soon after her marriage last year. Its about her decision to take her husband’s surname and whether this makes her less of a feminist.

When I got married in 1984 I never considered whether changing my name was a good or bad thing to do, I just did it. Only later, I found that a number of my nursing colleagues used both their maiden and married names. One for work and the other for home and family. This approach seems practical and sensible when it’s desirable to keep the two separate.

I have never thought of this as a feminist issue though, but rather as what is practical. Certainly friends who either weren’t married or else kept their maiden names encountered difficulties when their children went to school. The schools (at the time) struggled with knowing what to call a mother with a different name from their child. The children themselves of course, asked questions, so all having the same name is easy. Plus having a child with a different name at airport security can take a little extra time.

But none of this is important. What matters is doing what is right for you and for the right reasons. Livvy seems to have thought through her options and decided what she wants. This doesn’t make her less of a feminist, but demonstrates she is a woman who knows herself, her needs. She is also considering her husband and future family and that deserves respect.

Blogging A-Z 2018: R

Rest and Recuperation

After a long winter of cold and wet weather plus very little sun it is amazing to emerge and unwind in such a beautiful place as this. Strangely, the weather at home is also suddenly good. But given a choice for down time, I’d rather be here than there.

The past few months have been busy. My mum’s house move was both stressful and tiring and since then I have had little time to myself. Even France at Easter was busy as it was more of a working weekend than one of rest. This week though has been entirely different.

Although we have done lots of walking – over 20k steps each of the last two days – we have done it at a leisurely pace. Often when we are away, we stay in hotels and move around from place to place. This time though we have rented an apartment and stayed in one place. This is our third trip to this city, but we haven’t tired of it. We have continued to find new places to see. restaurants and bars to try and things to do.

We haven’t packed the days in a busy tourist way, but have strolled. loitered and watched the world go by. This has been an amazing time of rest and recuperation. It reminds me that I want to work less and travel more, something I hope will be able to happen soon.

 

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: Q

What a difficult letter Q is to find interesting words for. Unless that is you are in  Spain with someone who speaks Spanish.

Q is for Querer (To love in Spanish)

I am no linguist, but luckily he is. Listening to Master converse with the locals or the taxi driver as he did when we arrived on Monday is a sound to behold.  I have learned that during those first few hours and days of speaking a language again after a break he covers up by gesticulating and laughing. People are happy to help him refine the words he is struggling with, because he tries so hard and so few people try to speak the language. I love that he is able to do so and know he enjoys that he makes himself understood. I love also that speaking a language rekindles his love for the literature and culture of that country.

Master has brought me to this part of Spain 3 times now and I love the sunny days, the relaxed way of life, the friendly people. I also love that you can start the day late, but because they eat lunch and then dinner later than we do at home, you can easily catch up. The culture of the area is amazing, testimony to the history, often troubled that brought the people to this place in time.

We enjoy travelling to new places and always he tries to speak the language. I have to be satisfied with simple words. Such as please, thank you, the bill or glass of wine or beer. However I am trying to broaden my horizons and know more words. This is easier for me in France as I do have a reasonable knowledge of the vocabulary. Spanish though is something different, I didn’t learn it at school, unlike French. It is also easy to just let him lead.

But he is also happy to try Italian and German. He is also able to speak Dutch from having lived in Amsterdam a few years back. It would be lovely if I could speak more foreign languages myself. But since I can’t I am lucky that he loves language and loves Spain. And I love him.

 

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: P

P is for Poise

As I mentioned yesterday, we are currently on holiday in Seville, Spain. During the afternoon we walked down to the fairground area where the Feria is being held. Our host told us walking was the best option, and to just follow the people. As we left the restaurant where we had enjoyed lunch we followed a young couple. She dressed in her flamenco dress, he in a light coloured suit. Within 5 or 10 minutes we were following a dozen couples, or women walking together. Then as we approached the gateway to the fair, a mass of people surrounded us. Some, like us weren’t dressed up but most were.

We stopped to cross the road to enter the Feria and had to wait as numerous horse drawn carriages passed. Each taking groups of friends or families to the fair. Accompanying them were men and women on horses. The women riders caught my attention as they were riding side saddle. This is something I have only seen on tv – our royal family and period dramas.

I was struck by the poise and the elegance of these women. Sitting straight backed, and looking cool and collected despite the heat of the Spanish sun. I was in awe of this sight, even more than the beauty of those dressed in their frilly gowns.

Blogging A-Z 2018: O

We are currently on holiday in Spain and so the next few days posts will have a relaxed, holiday type feel to them. Situated in Seville, where the Feria is currently taking place. We have already seen the girls and women in their flamenco finery. The men in suits and the horsemen in their sombreros. I’m hoping that I can be creative with this week’s letters to suit.

O is for offered

Since I haven’t yet created the material for those posts, today’s is about what is offered to Master.

During the usual day to day life we lead, it is easy to forget who I am to him. Rushing about being the manager at work, or the daughter to my mum, takes its toll. But there are quiet times when we are alone and I am reminded. Times when I remember to offer myself to him. Generally when my body is offered, he takes it. The photo below demonstrates the offer and Sunday’s Sinful Sunday will show what was taken. Come back Sunday (when we will be travelling home) to see.

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: N

Naked

He likes to see me without clothing, naked so he can look, admire, touch and to feel. I struggle with my own nakedness in a place that isn’t bed. Indeed for many years I didn’t even go to bed naked. When my son was small and I got up to him at night, but also before that and afterwards.

These past years, since I have known Master though my confidence at being naked has grown. I wander around the house naked, but then often I am alone there. In front of him too I rarely cover myself before dressing, except perhaps in a towel.

I know he would like to see more of the undressed me. He would like me to sit beside him on the sofa, naked while he is dressed. He would like me to go about my house work, perhaps some nude cooking. But something stops me from taking that final step. Partly it is the weather, even with heating it can feel cold in the house. But mostly it is because of my own image of my body.

I am all for being body positive, unless that body belongs to me. I have recently gained much of the weight I have previously lost. The cause is something of a mystery, other than I clearly eat more calories than I burn off. I plan to try to rectify things and until I do, I hate the sight of my body more than usual. However, even after losing the weight I had struggled. So, perhaps that’s an excuse.

Perhaps I just need to do more of what he likes and wants and take off my clothes until I am naked. Hopefully the weather this summer will lend itself to such a thing.