Two new memes started this week. Quote Quest run by Little Switch Bitch (I plan to write for that in my next post) and No True Way, run by Lillith Avir. The first prompt for Lillith’s meme is: Whether worn or not, the collar is never off.
Master gave me my collar in July 2015. Before that I had worn a chunky chained bracelet with a lock as well as various leather collars during play. The symbolism of this collar, made of titanium and locked in place by means of a tiny screw felt different. But not just because you need a screwdriver to be able to take it off.
What the collar signifies
First and foremost it means ownership. His of me. It tells me and others that I am his. That I have committed myself to him. I like to wear it and have rarely removed it except for medical stuff. It doesn’t set the alarms off at the airport, much to the surprise and disappointment of border staff.
At events and munches it prevents people making a move on me (though I’m not clear they would anyway). So, it gives me a sense of security, but also pride. I wouldn’t be wearing his collar if I wasn’t proud to do so.
The collar is never off
My collar is a symbol of something that I don’t actually need a collar to know. You see, whether I actually have it around my neck or not, I’m still his owned property. I like to feel it there, a cool presence, but I don’t need it to be there.
I know that I am Master’s slave, his slut. I know what his expectations of me are and I know how to please him. There is no need to be wearing a physical symbol to know those things. But I’ve struggled with my submission a little more than usual recently and I’ve found the collar has helped.
When I’m not wearing it I miss it. From September 2018 to February 2019 I couldn’t wear my collar as much as I’d like. Just at a time when to be honest I needed the safety and security of it being there. But that was partly because the reason for removing it was medical stuff. Scans, surgery and then radiotherapy. Putting it back on in February 2019 was a joy.
It feels like I’ve contradicted myself in this post
Which of course I have. I really don’t need a collar to tell me I am Master’s slave and property. But I like the reassurance of it being there. It gives me reassurance and affirms everything I already know. In truth the collar is never really off but I actually don’t want to physically do so.