Self control

In so many ways I am good at exercising self control. I’m good at lists and planning and sometimes I can even stick to the plan. I don’t get easily annoyed, well not these days because it feels less necessary. I can also stick to a diet plan, avoid sweet things and alcohol until I just can’t. My self control is not infinite and at some point I will blow. My planning is not so good that I have stopped procrastinating. I guess though it’s part of being human.

Plan but don’t do

Now that I’m not working (most of the time) the days have little structure. Unless I create it. Using my planner helps especially if I decide I’ll write a blog post as 12, practice my French on Duolingo at 2 and then go to the shops etc. But often I’ll write a list of things to do and then transfer them to tomorrow’s plan. I’m good at spending time doing very little. But if I know there’s a deadline then I can exercise the necessary self control to get them done.

I’d tell you that this is new, but my to do lists at work were treated the same way. Items were often transferred and then I’d be chasing a deadline. I kind of need that to get my adrenaline flowing. But I am worse now, so at least once a week I make myself go into my little office, sit at my desk and produce the things listed in my planner. Tomorrow will be one of those days.

People and things irritate me

Not everyone and everything, though sometimes that is the case. I get less irritated these days. Partly because I don’t have to go to meetings and sit in rooms with people who state the obvious. Or who haven’t done what they said they’d do. Nor do I live with a man who lies to me and uses emotional blackmail to get me to do what he wants. Thankfully I extracted myself from that situation. But also I no longer allow myself to let people wind me up in the way I did. I walk away rather than confront. I also say no when I always said yes.

Age is of great benefit in being able to sort what is important from what is not. People upset you without knowing and even if they do know then how we deal with them is important. Retaliation is satisfying in the moment, but the feelings don’t last. So, maybe just walk away. This is important with social media because there are just too many people out there looking for a fight.

Control of what goes into my mouth

I have very publicly stated on here that I am in the process of losing weight. It’s been a goal for years, but I haven’t actually achieved it. However knowing I want to get my cleavage back in place is now the driver. I need a healthier BMI for surgery and so I am losing weight. Most days I exercise very good self control. The food and drink going into my mouth is healthy, light on carbs and doesn’t contain sugar. But there are days and Friday was one of them that I decide to have wine with lunch and then seem unable to control myself. Thankfully those days are fewer and the weight is gradually coming off. At least I have insight and so am able to make changes. Also I know that life would be very dull if I exercised that level of self control all the time.

The photo below was taken late on Friday night. We had both been middle aged adults behaving badly all day. We’d had too much to drink but no one was harmed and at the end we had a few nice photos for February Photofest and Sinful Sunday. What I’m saying is some good can come from letting your hair down once in a while and letting the control drift away. So long as you pick it up again the next day.