How I knew I was kinky

Prompt #3 of Five Things is How I knew I was Kinky. This is a topic I wrote about in 2019 and of course will have mentioned in other posts before and since. So, 5 things about me and kink.

I was a late explorer of the world of kink

I was nearly 50 when I discovered that there was much more to sex than I had ever imagined. Let alone anything else. Of course I didn’t spend 49 years in a cave, unaware that people were living more exciting and varied lives than me. But until I had access to the worldwide web I wasn’t especially curious. My ex was interested in spanking and the like, but my problem was him not with his desires. Anyway he didn’t really push things and satisfied himself by watching porn movies.

For some reason as I approached 50 I decided to explore my own sexual desires a bit more and found myself reading people’s accounts of their BDSM lifestyles as well as some erotica. Before long I was chatting on sites like alt.com and then I met S. The rest I guess is history.

Me and kink – A learning experience

The very first time I met S in person, was also the first time I had anal sex. Reckless? Absolutely. Exciting? Most definitely. I don’t think I’ve truthfully looked back since. For all that happened after that; getting dumped by him, not once but twice and the demise of my marriage, I have no regrets.

I learned more about my own body in a year and a half with S than I had in the rest of my previous adult life. For the first time ever I trusted another person to decide what I needed and I discovered that was something I preferred. I’d had no inkling I could be submissive, given my personality it seemed a far fetched concept. But giving up control of my body, orgasms and more to another person has been the making of me.

Looking back it was a crazy time. We didn’t see each other all that often, but when we did it was action packed. Much of that action taking place in the out doors; I was tied to trees, spanked and fucked on a picnic table and much more. It’s all there in the archives!

Meeting my Master

True to say that when I met Master in February 2014 I thought I knew it all. Turns out I didn’t and so the learning and indeed training went on. With him I’ve discovered that each relationship is unique. That the Dom and the sub bring their own elements to the relationship which make it that way. I’ve adapted to his wants and needs, but he has to mine too. A relationship could never last 8 years without that.

The fabulous thing is that my life has moved in directions I could never have imagined 10 years ago. Both in terms of the kinky stuff we’ve done together and everything else.

Fabulous things we’ve done together

The first time Master took me to a private dungeon I was absolutely amazed, plus a bit nervous. I hadn’t really imagined such places could exist on an average housing estate. But they do! It was his birthday and his present to himself was to use me, play with me and generally enjoy himself with me. Course I got to enjoy myself too. Since then we’ve been to a few private dungeons and they are always fun and interesting.

It took a lot for me to feel brave enough to go to a club and to play in public, but once we did it I loved it. CMnf is a particular favourite of ours. I like the fact I don’t have to decide what to wear for one thing! Hopefully we’ll be going too our first CMnf for two years in March.

Other great things have been Munches, where we’ve made friends with other bloggers and of course kinksters and of course Eroticon which I really hope is able to take place again this year.

The future

The last two years has taken it’s toll on us. We haven’t been to a Munch and until December last year we hadn’t been to a club either. I’d really love to go to a private dungeon again. There’s one in particular which has a hot tub in the garden that I’d love to visit. It was actually the first one we went to. I’d also love to go the Kinky Suite again.

But mostly I really hope we can rekindle friendships with local kinksters again and start to get out and about again. We’re very self sufficient but sometimes it’s good to share ideas and experiences and have a laugh with people who are on the same page.

Then maybe new experiences, as yet undefined that will help me to explore more about me and kink.