This slave’s tail

It has been a very long time since this slave felt that she had provided service in the way her Master originally expected.

She isn’t so much disobedient or even unruly (no matter what Master would tell you). But it is about circumstance, timing and yes, laziness, on both sides. But this girl can feel the end of that time in her life coming to an end.

This weekend has been about getting ready for this slave’s future. There will be many more weekends like this until our move is complete. Time when we will be clearing out rubbish, putting things in bags and packing up the things that will be going to Master’s house.

Meanwhile, this weekend, there has been sex, raw passionate sex. And there has been submission time for this this girl naked and open for her Master to take. Clothed without underwear allowing him to have access at any time. A reawakening, a realisation of what might have previously been denied and hidden. His for the taking.

Many months ago, Master bought his girl a tail. She had coveted a bushy tail after seeing one at one of the sexy markets, London Alternative or Birmingham Bizarre Bizarre. One day when the slave arrived at his place, he presented to her. This would be a way for her to show her slutty side and to be his bitch. But, for one reason or another though, probably we were busy and there wasn’t time and it didn’t get used.

On Sunday Master firmly fucked his girl in the ass. The second time in recent weeks as our sex life has taken on new life. The plan was to use the tail for Sinful Sunday, but actually that might have been a little painful. And for one reason and another we didn’t post on Sinful Sunday this week.

On Monday though, the slave finally wore the tail. Still a little sore, inserting the butt plus was a bit of a challenge. But the effect was wonderful, and it won’t be long before that tail comes out again. Maybe she may even wear it out at an event. Till then, here is a photo taken by Master yesterday.

Blogging A-Z 2018: K&L

Kink and Limits

There is a place on Fetlife where you can list your kinks or as described there, fetishes. Those available range across the spectrum of those related to domination and submission, through pain, degradation, humiliation and so on. Just reading through posts there, blogs, books and comments on social media it’s possible to find out about those kinks and how people fulfil them.

What is clear, is that everyone is different. What works for one person, couple or group really doesn’t for others. But just because you come across something you wouldn’t want to do yourself, doesn’t make them wrong. Nor does it mean you have to want to try everything, after all everyone has limits.

My approach all along this journey has been that I have a few very hard limits when it comes to kink. Thankfully most of those are the same as Master, which makes life easy. These include blood, scat and anything completely illegal. I have one that I described to him at the beginning of our relationship that he has respected. It might seem odd, but I will not dress up in any nurse / medial related out fit. I am a nurse and as such will not bring my own profession into disrepute by degrading the uniform. I have no problem with others dressing as a sexy nurse, I am just not doing it.

All other limits I might have, or have had in the past are soft. This made it easy to give up decisions about those limits to Master once we agreed our power exchange relationship. He has a number of kinks that aren’t necessarily mine, but I am happy to embrace them. One of those would be water sports. Given a choice I wouldn’t initiate peeing on him or being peed on, but have to admit I don’t dislike it.

My journey to submission, slavery and kink has been one of great learning. We have explored our fantasies as well as things we knew we enjoyed. There have been things we have done once or twice and not repeated, and there are others we rarely do but would like more time to explore.

The fun and enjoyment we have together in the bedroom or play room are part of what makes our relationship special. It stops life getting dull and helps us learn more about each other along the way. I am glad I found kink and explored my limits and that I have him to help me do so.

\

Eroticon Diary – Afterwards

Today I was back at work just a few miles from Camden Town. It seemed almost impossible to believe that my 4 day break had flown by quite so quickly. The anticipation and excitement I felt on Thursday as I left the office replaced by tiredness and yes a little sadness. We are going to have to wait an entire year before Eroticon takes place again. But I have taken away some amazing memories along with a head crammed with ideas. Yesterday I was just too tired to write, but in the office this morning  I could have written loads. Instead I got down to the emails, interspersed that is with twitter chat. So, what were my highlights?

The talks

There were so many great sessions to attend, so there were difficult choices. I can honestly say I enjoyed every session I went to.

Remittance Girl’s session on Taboo and Transgression had me thinking all weekend. It also gave Master and I plenty to discuss in our downtime and with others at the conference. The universal taboos of incest, murder and canabalism are almost passé as film and book topics. Speaking ill of modern politicians and celebrities perhaps carries a greater danger. Remittance Girl was clear that as writers we must tackle the really difficult topics. Consent, pornography, the sexualisation of children, of illness and disability to name a few.

Kayla Lords provided an insight into the making a living from blogging and writing. Something I hadn’t really considered. It has made me assess my worth and given me food for thought about the future. This is not something I would pursue while still working but it could be an alternative to what I had planned. On Sunday, I attended Cressida Dowling’s session: Is there a book in your blog? In essence I think the answer is no – I have no clear theme, I am not organised enough and am probably too lazy. I’ll leave that to others and buy their book.

Neil Brown’s Legal tips session was very interesting. Unfortunately we got stuck on the issue of age verification. I know this is a really important topic and one we all need to know about, but it prevented him covering everything. I enjoyed hearing his views and advice on freelancing, particularly after Kayla’s earlier talk. And I was pleased to find he confirmed much of her advice.

The talk on SEO by Miguel and Mark from Fetish.com was extremely useful. The loss of my blog and subsequently pasting my old backed up posts means I have about 600 without SEO. Loads to do then.

Vac Play and Kink Lab

I knew Mactire was going to be at Eroticon and had already decided I was going to try out vac play. He offered me the choice of all 3 of the beds, I chose the one I thought least likely to cause me anxiety.

I loved the experience and will definitely try the cube in the future. I am less keen on the Vac Bed that involves being completely encased in rubber.

 

Socialising 

Last year  at Eroticon I struggled to engage fully with my fellow delegates. This is not a new issue for me at conferences. I tend to stick with people I know and having Master with me meant I conformed to type. This year though I wanted things to be different. He did too and I agreed to socialise more.

Being more active on Twitter before the event helped. By the end of the Friday meet and greet I had already spoken to more new people than in the whole of the weekend last year.

I enjoyed re-engaging with people from last year, putting faces to names from blogs and twitter. We spent some time on Friday speaking to Kendra, including helping her plan her visit to Harry Potter World. She told us a little about the talk she would be giving on Sunday. It didn’t however prepare me for the power of her talk on Sunday. I am in awe of the things she has gone through during her life and that she has fought so hard to express herself. She is an absolute inspiration.

I am an author

Earlier in the year I submitted a story for inclusion in the Truth, the Eroticon Anthology. My submission is a true life account. I can’t describe how good it makes me feel to see my work in the Anthology. I will write more about this another time.

A weekend away

We love a weekend in a hotel. Even though we live just 20-30 miles from the Eroticon venue there was no question of us commuting. That would make it too much like being at work. We stayed in our favourite hotel, near Euston and took the tube or bus. The cold weather took me by surprise since I didn’t believe the forecast. So I arrived in and had to wear my light weight raincoat all weekend. But our room was warm and the bed huge. Sunday afternoon we snuck away from Eroticon and attended a pre-booked concert. Then dozed in the room. I wanted to go and meet up for post Eroticon drinks but couldn’t find enough energy for more than a stroll to a nearby burger bar.

An extra night in the hotel and a day off on Monday rounded off the weekend. Back home it felt like the weekend was a dream. I felt sad because the days had flown by. But with such wonderful memories I know this sadness will be short lived.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Being naked

The idea of spending several hours completely naked in public freaked me out. Stupid really since this is something I wanted to happen. Ever since I found out about play parties where the male Dominant is fully clothed and the female submissive naked, I wanted to try it. I am an exhibitionist, I do like to be naked for Master and wanted to attend a play event.  But theory and reality are two different things and yesterday I faced that head on.

The car journey, me wearing a little dress and cardigan with nothing underneath, passed far too quickly. We arrived just before the doors opened at 2pm and having to wait in the car made me feel even worse. So much so that I actually told Master I wasn’t going in.

But, as people started to get out of their cars I found myself following. Inside the building I encountered 3 or 4 entirely naked women, people helping at the event (as well as some clothed gents). My feelings of anxiety melted a little and I headed for the changing rooms.

Many women kept some clothes on, lingerie, stockings, shoes. Others sported chains or harnesses much like I own. I made the decision before leaving home that being naked would be best for me for this first day. Lingerie or stockings would be an easy option and kind of cheating. However those wearing more than nothing were pretty sensible as they kept warmer than I was able to.

Out in the main rooms, there were sofas for relaxing and various benches, crosses, pulleys for play. Most people brought implements and toys with them. As mentioned yesterday, I haven’t been well and so to avoid any temptation Master left his at home. While I was jealous of those being spanked, tied and played with I know that he had my best interests at heart. Plus it doesn’t mean that he didn’t sit touching and fondling his slave. I found watching others quite the turn on and know that next time I will be ready to be watched.

We met some great, very friendly new people and I discovered that I wasn’t alone in  being nervous about displaying myself to everyone else. It was good too to meet new people outside of the munch scene. To meet others who are part of a D/s or M/s dynamic. This felt a fun, but very safe place to explore this side of myself in a more public place.

By the time we left I was already looking forward to the next time. Thinking about what Master might do to me, how he might want to play with his slave. This morning Master texted me to tell me how proud of me he was. How much he liked displaying me to others.

I have to admit that I enjoyed being naked on public display much more than I even imagined I would. Next time hopefully I’ll be a little less nervous.

Excitement and fear

It’s a long time since I had a new D/s related experience. We are settled in our life together, and much of what we do around the D/s or BDSM area is tried and tested. In the main we keep that aspect of our lives separate from other people. This week we attended one of our local munches, we are acquainted with many of the people at that and other events. But we only know those people in a relatively vanilla place. We haven’t attended any of the events of which they speak. We haven’t been to play parties with them. Up until now we have kept ourselves just that little bit separate.Today that is going to change. For the first time we are going to a Clothed Male naked female event. In for a penny in for a pound! The idea of wandering around naked while Master is fully dressed in a suit is theoretically fine. But when the other females are also naked and the other males smartly dressed?

Will I be cold? Will I feel self conscious? Will I want to gaze at the bodies of the other women? What will we do while there? I am a bit nervous about my ability to experience too much in the way of play today, since I have been ill for much of the week with a virus and a cough. I am on the mend and no longer feel ill. But we both know that I am not fully fit at the moment.

He asked me earlier if I am going to make him proud today. I always try to do that and know that I will do my best not to let him down. I want to enjoy this new experience. I want to embrace the excitement I feel about going to this event, but I am also fearful. Those two feelings are not dissimilar in the way they manifest themselves inside us and time will tell which wins through. Whatever happens this will be an interesting day and there will be experiences to write about here. That can only be a good thing.

Valentine

Last night I actually got my camera and tripod out, dressed up in a couple of sexy outfits and took photos that I thought He might like.

Tonight I played around with this image.

This is my valentine gift to Master. The man I love and serve. I am wearing a semi transparent dress He bought me, I love the colour contrast of the image and that you can so clearly see my collar and cuff.

 

 

Three’s company?

Over the past 3 years we have spoken a few times about introducing another person into our relationship for play purposes. We have discussed the idea of another girl who would play with me and who I would watch having sex with Him. We have also talked about me having sex with another man while he looks on. These things sound fun and sexy in theory, they are a massive turn on to us both. But I know from experience that talking and doing can be quite different things.

My one and only experience of group sex (two men and two women) was about 4 years ago when I was seeing S (you can read what I wrote at the time, it is in two parts, this is part 2). Looking back I can see that it was a fantasy of his and another thing to tick off his bucket list (I didn’t know he had one at the time, but later came sex on a picnic table and sex at midnight on new years eve to name but two). He found someone (a female) online and over the course of a few months we chatted as a three and as a four, plus she and I chatted together.
I have always liked to look at lesbian sex online, and do find it arousing, but have always questioned whether I would really find it so in real life (probably if you need to ask the question then you already know the answer). But I do find the idea of two women serving a man very thrilling, almost as exciting as two men wanting to use me at the same time. But a threesome was not what was on offer, and since I did seem to get on with both parties and since I liked the girl very much I agreed to go along with it all.
On the day in question we all met up in the bar of the hotel we were going to be staying in. They were a nice couple, but I was too nervous to be excited or turned on. After a calming drink us two girls went off to talk on our own and then agreed to go through with things. We helped each other change into some sexy lingerie and then joined the two men in the other couple’s room.
My memory of the next couple of hours is slightly blurry but my gut instinct was definitely right. I did enjoy watching them have sex – both the other couple and watching S and the other girl was a turn on. I really loved sucking her partner while S penetrated me from behind, and I enjoyed being touched by the other girl while all that went on. But I really didn’t want to touch her, or kiss her, though I did.
Funnily enough S and I are not really in touch with each other these days, but I have stayed online friends with the other girl and am even Facebook friends with her. At the time they told us their names were Sara and Darren, I guessed at the time that wasn’t his name, but only realised later that hers wasn’t Sara. Not that it matters but I do find it amusing that I was always Julie or Joolz.
So back to Master and I. Well I would do it all again, but think probably 3 is more than enough company for me. Generally I will do what Master wants me to do, and know that he will only ask me to do something I am comfortable with. A threesome MFM might be fun and maybe I wouldn’t even say no to a FMF arrangement, but I can’t guarantee to want sex with the other girl.

365 days – 20th January

What is the hardest thing you are dealing with?

In comparison with some other times of my life nothing is so hard at the moment. In myself I am happier than I have been so often in the past. My job is going well and though I am busy I am getting recognition for the things I am doing.

Without wanting to tempt fate, my mum’s health is good and though lonely, she is coping with her life without my dad. She is considering downsizing and also thinking about making that move to be nearer to my brother. He lives in an area where housing prices are lower since it is further away from London.

I am enjoying my time at my slimming club and have made friends there. I need to focus much more on actually losing some more weight, but it is not a massive deal. I plan to explore becoming a slimming consultant, and wonder whether ultimately that might be the part time job I need on top of my NHS pension, but we shall see.

Master and I are approaching our 3 year anniversary and things are going well. We admit we need to explore our kinky life a little more, and will try to make 2017 the year for that. I want to develop my blog and have my own domain and WordPress installed but am struggling with moving everything over. I need to spend some time and learn a bit about that side of things. Then I want to try to write some fiction. I am hoping our trip to Eroticon will help with those things. I think perhaps that is the hardest thing and since that isn’t really so bad, I have very little to worry about!

New Year Sex

This post was written on Monday, for Wicked Wednesday, however, I am currently without WiFi and am also unable open Rebel’s page. So am just posting it as an ordinary blog.

It was icy on Friday morning. Unusually I was working, but wanted to check into my slimming club to make sure that my festive weight gain was kept in check. As I dashed out after weighing in I went flying and landed flat on my back. I picked myself up and, slightly dazed walked a little gingerly to my car. There was no serious damage however, other than to my pride and luckily there weren’t many people around.

By early yesterday morning however, I was experiencing the full after effects – pain and stiffness in my back which while not acute was a little debilitating. In effect I struggled to turn over in bed and when I tried to sit up my tummy and back muscles decided to rebel. I was feeling about 90; what a start to the new year!
Master decided a back rub was in order and so I rolled onto my tummy and he began his work. He has a wonderful way of touching and massaging which is both relaxing and erotic. When you also have seriously knotted up muscles it is like you have gone to heaven. I could have laid there all morning. Suddenly he disappeared, returning with the magic wand. Applying it to my lower back and then gradually moving it around I settled down to enjoy the experience. Gradually my muscles seemed to relax and the aches and pains subsided (not that I had actually tried to move at that point).
Having finished this task he then decided to place the wand in between my legs. At this point I did roll onto my back and opened my legs to accept the wand onto my pubis and as close to my clitoris as I could get it. All discomfort in my back subsided as I felt myself growing wet, juices flowing freely. He counted me down an orgasm and even though he removed the machine before reaching 1 there was no stopping me. He asked what I wanted now, and I said “your cock”. He said that he would really like to take my arse, but felt that would be unkind as it would more than likely hurt. I was sorely tempted to offer it anyway, but knew there would have been little pleasure in it for me. He thrust into me as I lay in the missionary position and I wrapped my legs around him. He talked to me about the control he has over me and of the excitement he feels to be my Master.
I could feel myself creaming in a way that I don’t so often these days – blame the menopause – and for him that was even more of a thrill. He exploded into me soon after. Rather than settle into bed as he often likes to after sex he disappeared downstairs. Reappearing with two glasses of bucks fizz. Clinking glasses we wished each other a happy new year.
New year morning sex, a great start to 2017!

365 Questions – 2nd January 2017

What are you most grateful for?

I am grateful that I recognised that I needed to stop being there for others rather than for me. That while it is important to be a daughter, a wife, a mother, I also need to be me. I am grateful that I started to explore the side of myself that I had kept hidden and that I found my sexuality. I discovered that it is never too late to find yourself. I am grateful that Master and I have found each other and happiness in that discovery.