Pain, marks and a new club

I am kneeling on the bed my ankles in a spreader bar. There is a clamp attached to my labia. My wrists are cuffed.

The Tell Me About prompt this week is pain and for obvious reasons that fits well with the Kink of the week on which is marks. I always live in hope that when we go out to a play event that I’ll come back with some marks. Sadly, that really never happens. It’s a shame, because yesterday we went to an event at a new (to us) club. I was able to appreciate some pain, but have no marks to show. So, here is my take on all three.

Pain

I’m not a fan of pain in the general run of real life. I hurt my knee before Christmas (fell over while dancing!) and it is still giving me pain. In that fall I sustained a bruise on my arm which is only just fading. But impact play is different, just without the bruises. This pain, has been distressing at times and has made sleep difficult, it is nothing like being beaten with a flogger.

Bent over the bed or a bench, my bottom bare, I’m ready to receive some pain. Master has a bag full of implements and is always buying something new. I prefer a softer implement that gets stingy when used than something hard and stiff. Certain materials are definitely more painful than others and especially if they are made to resemble a plastic barbed wire. He has something like that and damn well uses it.

I prefer impact to my bottom these days, but there have been times when Master has used his toys on my pussy and even breasts. Though more gently. I’m not planning to have any play on my breast what so ever now. My relationship with my remaining breast has changed, but I’m sure we’ll explore that more over time.

In the main then, I like pain inflicted with a toy designed for the purpose. I often moan and complain but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’ve never used my safeword during impact play and that is probably because he is a good judge of when to stop.

Marks

As mentioned above, I really don’t mark. Well I do, but not on my bottom during impact play. Yesterday’s session was a good half an hour long, but today nothing. I can feel where his toys have hit me, it’s a bit sore. But there are no marks.

But if I walk into a door or table or trip then I have a massive bruise. It doesn’t seem fair. The places I have marked through play are my inner thighs and breasts. But as I mentioned above I am not keen any more to have my remaining breast treated in a way so as it might mark. So I’ll just put up with pain and no marks.

A new club – atmosphere matters when playing

It’s no coincidence I’m writing this post today. I was hoping (since I always hope) that I’d be able to share some photos of my marked bottom. Sadly that isn’t the case. But I do feel the need to write about the impact of an environment during a play session. Yesterday we finally managed to get to a club not too far away that run’s a monthly Sunday event. For reasons of our social life, we haven’t managed to attend before. So, were quite excited at the prospect when we realised we would be free yesterday.

The venue is located along a busy road, but hidden from passing traffic. This makes it excellent for access. Inside there seems to be plenty of space, a veritable rabbit warren of play areas, a hot tub, large bar area etc. There was vac play going on, something I’ve tried before.

The club was very busy, the carpark almost full. If lockers are allocated by number from 1 we were 93. This meant there was a lot going on. A great vibe of friends meeting and chatting. Certainly the bar area and other seating was very much like a munch. But one where people are wearing fetish gear or close to naked. I wore a leather bodice and spanking skirt. I’m pleased to say that the bodice did up tighter than last time – I’ve lost several inches from my upper body.

The main drawback was that there were few places available to play at any time. One room contained a couple of spanking benches, and also lounging, bed areas. We spied a vacant bench and got down to business. The trouble was it was noisy. People carried on speaking at the top of their voices, or so it seemed. A conversation about different floggers took place, and someone showed others his wares. There was discussion about leather vs plastic when you are vegetarian. Then in the middle of our play time, a couple began to have sex (very loudly) in the middle of the room.

I struggled to get into my zone, and I think I took quite a bit of pain without necessarily feeling it. In the end we stopped not because we wanted to, but because it was just too distracting.

We know we need to go back for another visit to see whether this club is for us. Perhaps it being so busy was a one off. Perhaps we were just unlucky with where and when we chose to play. We often play at the beginning of the event, but this time didn’t arrive till well over an hour in. But all in all, it was a bit unsatisfactory for us. Plus I came away without a mark!

Click below to see who else is participating in Kink of the Week and Tell Me about

The reward

I’ve been looking for some inspiration to write some more erotica and here it is. This beautiful photo of Marie Rebelle for this week’s Masturbation Monday. This is the first time I’ve written from the point of view of a man. So I’ll be interested in comments. Based as always on my own experiences, though not a single event. I’ve also taken the opportunity to use some Big Sexy Words.

Photo: Marie Rebelle, Rebel’s Notes

I watched from the doorway as she positioned herself, on the bed. Kneeling, legs apart, two thirds of the way down, arms outstretched in front, she leaned forward until her back formed a smooth straight line. Now in a state of repose, body relaxed and still. The blue panties, formed a perfect frame, separating her arse cheeks and the gab between. Her beautiful, smooth, tanned skin was lambent, almost inviting my caress. Her pink, shaved cunt seemed to be calling me to touch it. My cock indurated in response. I heard someone take a sharp intake of breath, only to realise that someone was me.

When I see Jess in this position, waiting for me as I’ve instructed it takes me back to those early days of our D/s relationship when we were exploring roles. The surge of power I feel when she takes that submissive pose is like an electric shock. It galvanises me and excites me, not only physically but mentally too. Such was the case today.

I stepped into the room and standing at the end of the bed leaned forward. ‘ready pet’? I asked. She didn’t speak, but a slight nod of her head provided affirmation. My fingers stroked the lace of her panties and traced a line around her cheeks. Leaning in further I placed a series of light kisses over her cool bottom. My fingers moved down to feel the top of her sexy fishnet stockings, then back to trace a line along her panties. This time the gasp came from the top of the bed.

A smile spread over my lips, and I began to nibble her flesh, taking small areas gently between my teeth. Next I placed my hands on her back and gentley massaged above the panty line. ‘are you wet, pet’? I asked as I slid a finger under the blue silk and ran it down between her legs. Her cunt was slick to the touch and clitoris already standing proud.

My cock strained against my boxers and a little pre-come emerged from the tip, making them damp. I wanted to take my pet, to penetrate her highly fuckable cunt, maybe her arse. But first there was the small matter of her reward. The flogging and caning I’d promised her. After all she had been such a good pet this week. Because in this house, impact play is a reward not a punishment.

So, standing upright I turned and reached for the first of the implements I’d laid out and picked out a soft flogger. Then, starting at the top of her spine I ran it slowly down her back before taking aim at her perfectly formed arse. “Thank you Sir” Came her immediate response. This was going to be a fun and fulfilling afternoon. At that point I wasn’t sure whose behaviour was being rewarded.

Big Sexy Words used:

  • Lambent – glowing, gleaming or flickering with soft radiance,
  • Galvanise – to shock or excite into action
  • Indurate – to harden
  • Repose – a state of calm relaxation or contemplation

Mindset

Our dynamic is about power, control and mind games. I say games, because to begin with it feels like it. Where someone is seeking to get you to conform to their way of thinking, to make you behave in certain ways and to develop a mindset. For me the mindset of a submissive, of a slave. Looking back this was always a conscious thing on both sides.

Before I met Master, there had been a few times when I had found myself in a submissive space, usually after an intense sex session. I also knew I responded well to instructions, In the right context. In that relationship, (2012 to the end of 2013), we used certain rituals to create the right mindset. Wearing certain clothes (and underwear) and shoes. Kneeling for him as soon as I arrived. So, while I wasn’t someone who usually liked to be told what to do, I found myself embracing his dominance.

A submissive mindset

With Master though it was different. From the very beginning his approach was psychological. Our physical attraction to each other came through our conversations about Dominance and submission. He says he felt my submission almost before he laid a finger on me. It was almost like he had a power over me. Our first date was in February, it was wet and cold and we strolled into a disused church. By the time he touched my bottom and pressed his erection against my cunt I’d have gladly taken my jeans down there and then. For me, sexual arousal and submissive mindset are clearly linked. I had brought that knowledge from the previous relationship and found it to be true here. A couple of weeks later I discovered how powerful BDSM play could be in sending me into subspace.

A name

Within days I was referring to myself in the third person while we were together and soon here on my blog too. To him I was and remain this girl, His pleasing bitch. The latter took a little longer to form but to this day, Master rarely refers to me as Julie, except to others.

I wouldn’t claim to remain in some submissive mindset all of the time. Once, I probably did most of the time we spent together. But now of course we live together and have regular stuff to do. But when we have sex, when we play or when the mood takes him a few words are uttered and I am back in that place. Back being this girl, slut, slave and his bitch. What’s more the names aren’t just used when in bed and so he has the power to pull me up short just by calling me this girl. And not only when we are alone, at home.

The right mindset

But having said that, there are times when it doesn’t work. When it takes effort on both our parts to create the right feeling. This was more of a thing when I was working, on Friday nights I needed a bit more persuasion (and alcohol) to get into the mood. Another challenge can be my mum who definitely gets me into a mood very easily.

I’ve mentioned recently about changes to my orgasms, that I don’t feel the need for so many and that they can’t always be forced. This can be challenging since multiple orgasms definitely put me into a submissive space. And if you can’t force one out there won’t be lots. But true to form Master is finding ways around my resistant body, which can’t help but respond to strong vibrations.

A successful Dominant / submissive relationship requires brining together physical actions with the right mindset and making those two things happen at the same time can take a bit of effort. However it does make for an interesting life and is rarely dull.

tellmeabout

An advent diary

Advent calendar

Opening my eyes in the dim early morning light, I reach for my phone. Several messages await, but my focus is on the time and date. 08.00, December 25th. I’m alone in the bed and I have time to luxuriate in the warmth, the space and the peace before family arrive later. Today will be something different – parents, grown up children and partners. Nothing like the 24 days of advent.

1st December

I was in a coffee shop. Bill and I chatted we waited in line. He didn’t tell me his name right away, but he thoughtfully told the Barista when he ordered his latte. By the time we left the shop and went our separate ways, he had my name and number. More of him later.

2nd

I’ve been seeing James for a few months and he called round after work. He is under the impression that only full on naked sex in a bed is being unfaithful to his wife. I really should end this thing, especially given the way my ex treated me at the end of our marriage. Trouble is, James knows his way around a woman’s body and gives fabulous orgasms. His tongue action on my clit is to die for. What’s more he has great taste in champagne and always arrives carrying a bottle or two.

3rd

Dinner with my good friends Tom and David. They are in a relationship with each other, but not averse to flirting with me. Nor looking every man in the restaurant up and down to decide who might make a suitable partner for me. Or at the very least someone who looks to be a good fuck opportunity. A hilarious, if a little rowdy evening. It’s probably as well we don’t get together too often.

4th

I bumped into Steve, list in hand, as I browsed the salad isle in Waitrose. Strange really, because when we were married he was more of a Lidl or Aldi man. But I guess Sandra has an eye for quality when it comes to vegetables at least. Thankfully he was in a hurry, so the encounter was short.

5th

My boss, Gavin called me into the office to tell me our directors were really pleased with the project I recently completed. He thinks I might be in line for promotion in the new year. It’s weird really how my career has come on since I stopped being some kind of appendage to Steve. I don’t always feel massively confident about myself, but people like Gavin and his boss have been a great encouragement. Looks like 2020 might be a good one after all.

6th, 7th, 8th

Bill called last night and we met up for a drink, which led to dinner which led……… I really don’t usually sleep with men on the first date. I tend to be more cautious than that, but….. He has one of those riverside apartments and I went outside to take a look while he opened a bottle. He brought blankets out and we sat for a while chatting over our wine. Then he leaned in for that first kiss and before I knew it we were naked in his bedroom. Next, he was telling me how beautiful I am and I was running my hands up and down his greying chest hair. He is pretty fit for 55. The sex was really something. It’s funny, until recently I had no idea that there were men out there who actually know how to please a woman. And that they want to do it.

Next morning he made us breakfast, before we went back to bed for a few hours. I’ve not done anything quite this crazy in…… well maybe forever.

When I left for home on Sunday night my cunt was sore from being stretched by his very generous cock and to be honest my jaw aches a bit too. I’m already a bit addicted to sucking him off. I knelt before him while he sat on the sofa; I’m not sure I’ve done that before either. But it felt right somehow.

Work tomorrow though, so home it is.

9th

David put me on speaker phone in the car so Tom could hear. Damn those two have an instinct for these things, because I hadn’t expected to hear from them this side of Christmas. I’m to update them after the weekend.

10th

Away with work. After the events of the past week, I made my excuses after dinner and went to my room. A bath and TV was all I needed. I’ve no idea what time Gavin and Paul turned in, but there was football on in the bar anyway.

11th

Bill called me as I was driving home to ask if I’d be up for going to an adult club at the weekend. Another new thing for me to encounter in my 50’s. This really is turning out to be the decade for me. We discussed BDSM and his dominant side last weekend, I was surprised though not shocked. I’ve read some great erotic novels, just not thought about getting involved. He says we can just go and watch and I’m up for that, so I said yes.

12th

James texted to ask if he could call round, but I put him off. Maybe I should end things this side of Christmas.

13th – 15th

I’ve done it again – spent the entire weekend with Bill. I’m now considering taking a day off in the week to get stuff done. That includes my Christmas shopping.

But what an amazing time. Plus, my first spanking. I hadn’t expected to want to strip off down to my underwear at the club, but it happened. Everyone was so friendly, explaining about the equipment and how it felt to play. Bill kept me close to him while we watched and then I actually asked him if we could have a little go. I could tell he was really pleased I’d asked. And I found that having your bottom spanked, then flogged is really very arousing.

The sex back at his place was something else. As he removed my knickers he exclaimed at how wet I was. He told me how proud he was of me and do you know, it made me feel all the more aroused. It’s almost like I’m turning into someone else. Or else maybe the real me is emerging.

16th

I told James it’s over. Strangely he didn’t argue, but then I haven’t been returning his texts and calls. Especially at the weekend.

17th

Christmas shopping day. Thankfully I managed to get everything done before heading round to my parents for the evening. The only man in my life today is my dad and it’s great to catch up with him. They are looking forward to Christmas and I am too. I’m also wondering just what next year will bring.

18th

David and Tom summoned me for impromptu drinks. We went to a bar just up the road from my place. I spilled the beans on the spanking, I think I might have shocked them a bit. Of course, they want to meet Bill. After Christmas I said.

19th

Office party. I had great fun dancing to the old Christmas hits with the girls from our team and pulled a couple of the guys up to dance too. But I didn’t have a drink tonight and drove home. I want a clear head for tomorrow.

20th

As the family are coming to me this Christmas, today was my last day in the office this year. Gavin and I exchanged presents and I bought a few gifts and cards in for the team.

Tonight Bill came over to me for dinner. I am definitely falling for him, Sadly he has family stuff on tomorrow and so couldn’t stay. But I’m seeing him on Sunday.

21st

Food shopping and then a quick coffee with my son and his partner. Present wrapping to Christmas music and an early night. Sometimes you just have to do it.

22nd and 23rd

Bill and I went Ice skating in London. This is just the kind of fun and stupid thing that Steve turned his nose up during our marriage. He wasn’t even keen on taking the children out to places like that.

We drank mulled wine and ate mince pies then walked along The Embankment arm in arm. He can do the romance too. This man might end up being a keeper.

I stayed at Bills, something that’s becoming a habit – a very nice one at that. We talked about some of the things we might do together in the coming weeks. He gave me a couple of books to read, stuff about Dominance and submission. I promised to report back to him after Christmas. I won’t see him now till next weekend, but we’ll speak on the phone every day.

Christmas Eve

I got a bit behind with preparations as I was reading one of the books Bill gave me. The more I read, the more I realise that I am a submissive woman. How I yearn to have someone provide me with control. Apart from the great sex, Bill provides a quiet leadership, makes me want to please him. But also he is open about his wants and desires and somehow has allowed me to open up about my fantasies in a way I’ve never done before.

It feels like I’ve been opening a virtual advent calendar and have somehow reached Christmas Day as a new woman. How unexpected.

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Masturbation Monday

Fantasies

Me from the back, wearing leather harness and spanking skirt.
An early picture of me in harness and spanking skirt.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what might be. Then I started on this journey of Dominance and submission, BDSM and self discovery. This whole blog is really about fulfilling fantasies. Some have exceeded my wildest dreams and some have been less thrilling. What’s left to do? Well nothing I dream of but maybe there are things to do anyway.

Sex that is like in books

By the time I was 49 I had had one sexual partner. Dull, but true, and in 2012 I decided to take the plunge and seek more from my life. I’d read about great sex in erotic and other fiction as well as magazines , but didn’t know if it was true. Turns out my sex life was definitely lacking, though not everything you read is true either. Men don’t come 5 times a night, well not when they are in their 50’s anyway. They have way more stamina and the men I discovered knew their way around a woman’s body. Of course, I was lucky with the ones I found.

Within months of my first encounter with S I’d had sex outside and then later a foursome. These were both things I’d thought about and imagined.

Later it turned out that good sex wasn’t everything. So having come from someone who loved me but was dull in bed, I now discovered that I needed both. Plus I dreamed of a proper D/s relationship.

A power exchange relationship

I’ve read a lot of books about BDSM and power exchange relationships in particular. I love the fantasy element and am happy to suspend reality in many cases. It is a shame that so many feature billionaire men who discover a young woman they have to tame and train, before falling deeply in love. But now and then there are books that are more realistic. I wanted to experience life with a dominant man, become his sex object, but had no desire to spend my life kneeling naked at his feet. In any case I had a job to hold down and a son still living at home.

Master is quite low key in his power exchange expectations. So low key that you hardly notice what is happening. The extent to which dependency occurs and you find yourself deferring to him. Of course, the process has been a long one. 5 years in February. But from the beginning there were signs – the reference to myself in the third person, his control of my orgasms and ownership of my body.

I often wonder if I am truly a slave, after all I am pretty unruly, though never truly disobedient. I am bad at calling him Master, except in the bedroom. But when I look back at the person I was at the beginning, he has helped me modify my behaviour. I am less likely to jump in to a situation and take over. I let him take the lead most of the time and now relish that fact. He usually asks my opinion but he makes the final decision.

BDSM fantasies

I’ve had the opportunity to try many experiences over the past few years. Things that people put on their fantasy lists – bondage, forced orgasm, piss play, electrical play, the vac bed, to name a few. We’ve played in public, which is something I always wanted to do and will continue to. I’d like to attend more CMnf events and perhaps ones that require a higher protocol. It certainly wouldn’t do me any harm to be a proper slave for a few hours.

But really I am at the stage where I am just happy living an ordinary life with my partner. Yes, it is a bit different from other people but it’s generally tame. But tame in a fun way.

One final thing

It has never been my fantasy to have sex with another woman, I really am heterosexual. But actually I do wonder if I should be braver and just let it happen. I know Master would enjoy watching me with a woman and it might be fun. The opportunity is there and I am conflicted about whether to take it.

You see, some of the things I have done weren’t actually fantasies until just before I did them. Or else not until I read about them and then thought why not. Plus I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to miss out. So, we’ll see!

tellmeabout

The ceremonies of life

When I was slimmer my collar was a little big. I’d be happy if it was like this again!

Christenings, weddings, funerals and graduations have all been the ceremonies of my life. Christmas, even though I don’t go to church is a ceremony of its own. Over the years I’ve enjoyed them all. I still look back with fondness to my own wedding. I loved the day, being centre of attention. happy and in love. Marriage was much less fun than planning the wedding and living through the day.

Formal ceremonies

My favourite ceremonies with and for others though have been the ones involving my son. His christening at 6 months old, cute in his sailor suit. Family enjoying a sunny September afternoon in our garden. His school events, plays, nativity, fetes they were all ceremonial in their own way. The graduation – my son all grown up and smart in his gown, on the cusp of proper adult life. Then last Christmas his wedding. A really small and intimate affair, so different from my nuptials. A day though filled with laughter and a bride and groom who did things their own way. I loved every minute of that as much, if not more than my own.

His wedding allows me to concentrate on myself and my life with Master. I feel that the wedding ceremony is part of a bigger event. That he is now part of a new family, his own. One that will grow as, hopefully they have children in the future.

Collaring

This was a ceremony I didn’t expect to write about. But on the day that Master collared me, his slave I committed to him. Though this was not in front of other people. to bear witness, we made vows to live our lives in a certain way. I agreed to wear his collar, to be obedient and to provide service. In return he agreed to care for me and to be the best owner he could be.

4 years later and we have pretty much stuck to the vows we made to each other that night. Until I had surgery and then radiotherapy, I had rarely removed my collar. That titanium ring means as much to me as the ring I wore on my finger before.

However I do have the urge for another ceremony. I would like to affirm our commitment to each other in public, in front of my son, his wife and other very close family. But first I need to get round to divorce, get myself a new boob and make some plans. But it is something that hopefully we will do.

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What do you see?

We love to observe the people around us and wonder about their lives. We often question whether those people even see us. The focus often seems to be each other or their phone. Indeed I wonder whether some people are aware of their surroundings at all. I like to watch people, I like that Master likes to watch me and I’m increasingly happy for people to see me at my most vulnerable.

Watch and see

There is nothing better than sitting outside a cafe, pub or restaurant and watching people walk past, sit down with friends or lovers. We often notice that one person monopolises the conversation, or we see friends that don’t interact unless they have something from their phone to see. We look at body language, are they lovers, is this the end of a relationship or are they on a first date. It is fascinating. But you know, I don’t think it is something everyone does. Indeed my own son told me off for discussing other diners with Master. “It isn’t kind” he said. Funny thing is I don’t believe we were being unkind, just seeing and observing.

Being observed

Sometimes, when I am dressing in the morning I will see Master looking at me. I’ll ask him what he is doing and he will say that he is looking at me. That he loves to look at me. That he enjoys my body. There was a time when I would have been embarrassed by this. Why does he want to look at me – an overweight, middle aged woman. But I am his lover, his slave and he loves me and my body. They body that he owns and possesses.

I think he sees a different me to the one I do when I look in the mirror. It is only when I look at photos like the one I posted for Sinful Sunday this week, that I realise. That I am able to see a little of what others do. That I am proud and happy. He is responsible, in no small part to the confidence I feel. And that is a great

Letting people see me

All of me. I wrote recently about our return to CMnf. I know people do look at each other there. Because people spoke to me about my body. I know that they like to watch the public play and that from that they may learn from each other. Or else it gives them the confidence to play in public too.

The first time I was very nervous. But now, I find I can shut out the people and things around me and settle into the moment. I am not worried I am being watched, in fact I really love it.

Kink clubs usually (for very good reasons), have a no phone rule. People are there to see and be seen. To meet up and chat. To play and to perform. That people are naked or dressed in fetish gear is part of the fun of those events. Their clothes, nakedness and demeanour is saying – look at me. Of course, we love to people watch there too. To wonder about them and their lives. Occasionally too we get to know others and find out the reality. And that’s what happened to us last time.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Female Chastity – Physical or Emotional

Over the past year or so my Kink of the Week post on female chastity has been one of the most frequently read on my blog. I admit to being fascinated by the concept of physical chastity devices. Though I have never worn one, I find the idea extremely erotic. That I, a submissive woman might be locked into a metal and leather device by my Master. Prevented from touching myself makes me wet. I imagine him leaving me at home, locked in while he leaves town. The idea of being unable to touch myself, masturbate, is almost enough to make me cum. However this is all part of my imagination. Because the truth is I am not wearing a device, he is here and I actually don’t touch myself without his permission anyway,

For me, wearing a chastity device is a fantasy, though I would love to try. My Master doesn’t tend to deny me orgasms, he is more likely to force them out of me. But denial is part of that fantasy. For this post I want to explore whether to be denied orgasms actually requires a device. Or whether the control of a Master is enough to stop a slave touching herself (unless instructed), masturbating or even orgasming. Indeed, are there slaves out there who have been deprived of an orgasm for more than a year. Yet wear no physical device. The answer to that one is: Yes there are.

Physical Chastity Devises

You can find pictures of the various devises available here on Pinterest. This article on Kink Closet provides all the information you need to help you choose the right device. That includes it’s purpose, how to measure yourself as well as advice on cleaning.

I especially like this particular model. It’s not something you’d want to be locked into for long periods, but the idea is pretty erotic. So much so that I’m going to write some erotica based on it. I’ll link back when it’s done.

There is plenty of female chastity erotica here on Literotica, which might be worth a look meantime.

My other fantasy for physical chastity is through the use of labial piercings. I wrote a piece of flash fiction about having my labia locked together. It’s certainly something I’d love to explore more. Of course, this is a more permanent type of solution, in that the labia are pierced and then joined by rings or bars.

Emotional Chastity

I hadn’t previously thought about orgasm control and denial as a form of chastity, but of course it is. We practice control, but not denial. This means that my orgasms belong to Master and he grants me permission to come. When I do, I thank him. Since we have been together I have rarely masturbated on my own and not at all in the time we have lived together. He loves to see and feel me orgasm, especially when his cock is deep inside me. On occasion we use a vibrator to make this happen. But whether or how I come depends on him. He is in charge and decides.

Other couples in power exchange relationships take orgasm denial to a different level. Littlegem writes in this post about how her husband and Dominant Purple Sole uses short periods of orgasm control and denial as a form of behavioural control. She also discusses how this increases her need to express her submission to him.

This is done without using a physical device or piercings. But through emotional control. I could go upstairs now and masturbate, but don’t because I know I mustn’t and because if I did I would have to tell Master what I had done. However the very thought that I have agreed to this rule reinforces my submission and also makes me want an orgasm more.

Blossom is a slave in a long distance M/s relationship she wrote on 15th October that she had been in orgasm denial for 650 days.

“never thought this would happen to this girl but it is happening and have to say am still enjoying every moment of it….of course one has her good and bad days….but all in all it has been good….hot, delicious moments….painful moments where one rubbed her clit so often that it hurt to touch”.

Physical vs Emotional

Physical female chastity is something of my imagination, desire and fantasy. But unlikely to become a reality for me. It looks like something to wear during play, or for a specific scene. But I know from the sheer amount of information available that this is a big kink for many people. It is also something that I find fascinating and will probably continue to read and write about.

Emotional chastity or control is a reality in my life and those of fellow bloggers. It isn’t something you need equipment for. But you will need a willing submissive or slave and time to develop a power exchange relationship.

Masturbation Monday

New experiences

It isn’t often these days that we do something new, when it comes to our dynamic. We’re often talking about going to a new club or trying a new munch, but we are creatures of habit. Though we don’t even go to the same munch every month since we also enjoy social events outside of our kink life. But last week we really did something new. We went to visit some kinksters we met last month at CMnf.

Following that meeting I went off to Cyprus with my mum. While I was away, Master got chatting with the two female subs and male Dom. I didn’t join in at the time, but Master relayed the conversations to me and before I knew it a play date had been arranged.

The two girls have a self built play room at the end of their garden and invited us along. I was both excited and apprehensive about the experience. Up to now I have only been to one club, otherwise we have always played in private. Public play feels a safe way to show my exhibitionist side. But the opportunity to experience something new wasn’t something I could turn down.

Last Tuesday we set off mid rush hour for the journey to their place, which turned out to be in the middle of nowhere. They have a huge garden and its easy to see why they would want to build such a fun place there. From the outside it looks like a big shed, or small garage. But inside it is kitted out with lots of fabulous equipment. Master took along his ‘tool kit’ including the floggers that had started our conversation at CMnf.

The play party

Within minutes of arriving all three of us subs were stripped and tied to or bent over some restraining equipment (cross, bench, stocks). Thankfully I was offered the bench which is my preference. Blindfolded I soon settled into my own rhythm and both Doms took it in turns to use their impact toys on us. Space was limited, so we were closer together than usual. But that added to the fun and games. Because we could hear the impact and also what was being said.

Protocol in our relationship has slipped over time. I don’t always thank Master for hitting me, and I can be a little bratty. But I did remember to call him Master and be as respectful as possible to both Doms. I admit that the other two girls were better behaved and it did make me think about my own behaviour.

Thoughts on group play

I enjoy impact play, but it certainly doesn’t drive me or our dynamic. We don’t do it regularly and these days practically never at home. It’s strange really because we have a playroom, but don’t think to use it much.

The new experience of being in private, but with others was, as I had hoped, exciting. I admit I preferred this encounter to the idea of meeting up for a sexual event, such as happened when I was with S.

Both Master and the other Dom stroked and touched me, but that was as far as it went. I think that was where some of my anxiety before hand was bound. Instead I was able to get off on hearing the squeals and cries of the others. Plus the running commentary of the two Doms. We all feel pain differently and our relationships are different, and for me, an observer of people and human behaviour it was enlightening. But incase you think I was in anthropology mode, I wasn’t especially aware I was taking notice at the time.

Time to go home

After play our hosts provided some welcome food and drink and we all sat chatting and getting to know each other better. Intrerestingly us subs were naked and the men clothed, but since we met that way it didn’t feel odd. The great thing is we were able to discuss topics that you wouldn’t usually talk about with people you hardly know. But maybe that is part of what we kinky people do. Or maybe it was because we were naked. Or because we had been part of such a fun experience.

Sadly, it was soon time to leave, our journey home was just over an hour and all too soon we were tucked in bed reminiscing the evening. We have been in touch since and hope to meet up at the club again in December. I hope too that we get to visit our new friends in the not too distant future.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Feeling safe

This week’s Food for Thought prompt is Safewords or Words that make you feel safe. I wrote recently about safewords so am not going there again with this post. So, what words make me feel safe? Early in our relationship I wrote about the words we use within our relationship and what they mean to me, including how they make me feel safe. 5 years on it seems like time for an update.

During sex Master often provides a running commentary of what he is doing, what he wants to do and how it is making him feel. He also asks me questions designed to reaffirm to him that I am his slut, his slave, his bitch. The words he uses during those moments are part of the rituals of our sex life. They also make me feel very safe indeed.

This girl

Since the beginning of our relationship He has referred to me as girl, or more often ‘this girl’. The use of the third person, focuses me onto him and his needs rather than mine. Over time, it has become something of a pet name. It demonstrates to me that Master’s mind set is focused on our M/s dynamic and reminds me of who and what I am. His slave.

Pleasing bitch

The reference to my being his pleasing bitch often follows. There are times when I wonder about the title of my blog. But those words remind me once again about what my purpose is. To provide pleasure to him. During sex he will often refer to me as his pleasure bitch, which is what I am.

Lord and Master

I admit to being something of an unruly slave (his words) and not always massively respectful. But there are times when the need and desire to call Master my Master or Lord are very strong. During sex, when I am restrained and blindfolded during play, for example. You see this is a two way road. It isn’t just about who and what I am to him but who and what he is to me.

Of course he is also my love and when he tells me that he loves me. That he has never loved anyone like he loves me then I know this isn’t just about sex and BDSM. This man is my partner for life. And that makes me feel very safe indeed. I know that I love him too, more than words can express.

F4Thought