All Quiet

All aspects of my life are pretty quiet and low key this weekend. Sir is camping with his son and the Scouts some place in the south of the country. He is out of contact, as he should be. i know that when he creeps out from the Scout camp he is partying with friends. His life is much more interesting than mine (as you might expect). My son is staying with his UK University friends and is attending end of term festivities and probably getting drunk. My husband is making the sofa, on which he has taken up residence, sink in the middle. The Euro Championships (football) have started and will keep him occupied for a couple of weeks!

The sun is out and though it is cool, rather than especially summery, it gives me a good feeling. i have been able to get on with some gardening at last. Yesterday i spent a theraputic couple of hours pulling all those weeds that grow when you get a cycle of rain, sun and more rain! Today i am going to buy flowers to fill my garden with some more colour.

After last weekend, for a few days this week i felt a bit down. i thought maybe i was suffering a bit of subdrop (having read about this on some other blogs lately), but actually it was probably nothing more than PMT. Often before my period i get a feeling of overwhelming unhappiness and impending doom. Because of my age and the fact that there is more chance of a UFO crashing in my garden than me ever being pregnant again i don’t always attend to dates, so the arrival of said period yesterday, took me by surprise. i am cheered that timing this month was good and i am further cheered now by the lifting of the PMT. i am also cheered by the prospect of flowers, of sunny weather and of the opportunity to chat to Sir later and perhaps plan another get together.

Sometimes quiet is good.

The challenges of the online world

I have been blogging since 2006 and still have another place that i write my thoughts (mainly to do with work related stuff), though i have been bad at updating it lately. In the past that blog has received quite a few visitors and through them i have visited lots of other blogs and read lots of very interesting and informative posts. when i first started exploring the D/s lifestyle one of the first thing i did was to look at and read blogs. Lots and lots of them. I find other people’s lives, even when they think they are doing quite dull things, to be really interesting. Maybe i am nosey, or maybe i like the fact you can make ‘friends’ with people online. Indeed some of my Facebook friends are from my online blog community. i don’t get many visitors here yet, but that is fine. i am writing most of this stuff for myself so i can go back and look later to see how my journey is progressing, my thoughts and feelings etc.

In all my time blogging i have never had one of my posts completely stolen. So i was really shocked yesterday to come across this post on Submissive Sanctury. Lil does write beautifully, so i guess if you were going to plagiarise, her’s would be the kind of work to take. But when you proport to be writing about yourself and your life why steal the lives of others? Do some people just not have their own original thoughts. Lets face it, it is easy to take the work of others from the internet, but why not ask someone if you can reproduce something, or as i have done, link to it?

The other type of place i go to online is to some of the various ‘lifestyle’ forums. After exploring 2 or 3 i have decided i quite like Fetlife. I have found though that peope can be just as judgemental there as in any other place (real or online). It is interesting to me that people who may find themselves judged by others for their beliefs and for the way they conduct their lives can themselves lay judgement on others. Sex outside of marriage without the consent of ones spouse is a particular area that gets people going; this makes it wise, for a person like me, to choose carefully how i contribute if i don’t want to be shot down in flames (which i don’t). The good thing is that i have found a new online friend who is in a similar position to me, though further forward, and i have joined a couple of groups on fetlife that are more sympathetic to people such as me.

The online world is not substitute for real life, but it sure can be an interesting place if you know where to look!

Play it again Sir

One of the nicest parts of a day (or night) with Sir is the ability to prolong the effect by discussing the events online. Last night we spent some time doing just that; exploring how each of us felt when we were doing different things and replaying our reactions to those feelings. This is one of the ways that this relationship is very different to any other i have had before, another is the extent to which Sir examines my expressions as he applies different stimuli to me. He is also open to discussing the effect that then has on him, and the pleasure that gives him.

One of the main things we talked about last night was the relationship between what he does to my nipples and the effect that has on my clitoris and pussy. He told me he loves to watch the expression on my face as first prepared my nipples for the clamps, then applied them. He is not really into giving pain, but is loving the wonderful effect just the right amount of pain has on me and my submission. As i become more aroused i spread my legs that bit wider, i am just that bit more his submissive slut and that for him is the biggest turn on. This was most evident for me when he tied me to the tree. i was then unable to move my hands or arms, but as he applied more stimulation to my nipples i was inclined to open my legs wider for him as i felt the orgasm begin to build inside me. This morning i have found this article which confirms what i have always believed about the link between a woman’s nipples and her genital organs.

One of the other things we discussed (again) was how i am progressing in my ability to take his cock in my mouth. I think he is pleased with my progress because he was able to get pretty deep without me gagging which is real progress. We talked about maybe another day and another tree, where he might tie me in a good sub position where i am at the correct level to take him so that he can perhaps complete this area of my training. I am definitely up for this.

Of course the other big thing we discussed was the disused picnic table. The fact that it put me at just the right height for Sir. The fact that i needed to lie right at the edge (though he was impressed that i thought his cock was longer than it is). The fact that for the first time i was able to lie on my back for anal; a first time for me and actually the best position so far. I think from Sir’s comments it was pretty good for him too!

We talked about meeting at this place again – Sir lives 2 hours away in good traffic and currently doesn’t have a car – during the summer. I like this idea very much!

A day in the great outdoors

Yesterday fully lived up to my expectations and more. For some reason sex outside is one of the things i have always wanted to do. It would be true to say i have previously indulged in some masturbation with a male friend in the past, but nothing on the scale of what Sir and i got up to yesterday.

Having dropped hubby and his friends at the races for their own day of gambling, drinking and observing the Queen i headed off to a railway station a few miles away to collect Sir. On the way, i stopped as instructed and put on my stockings and suspenders underneath my summer dress. Amazingly i managed to put on seamed stockings, with the seam straight while sitting down! Driving with my skirt around my waist (as instructed), stocking tops showing, i felt conspicuous but found it something of a turn on. Sir was most pleased when he got in the car, giving me a taste of what was to come by stroking my pussy and clit and finding me already wet (predictable i’d say)! He then put on my collar to signify that we had begun the day.

Sir had done his homework and navigated us to a car park on the edge of some woods where i was instructed to suck sir’s cock and received some very nice foreplay. Sir helped me off with my bra and then out came the nipple clamps, which he applied before we trecked off into the woods in search of a secluded spot. This particular area is a great place for walking with our without your dog, mountain biking, horse riding, picnicing (you get the picture), but people stick to the paths and within minutes you can be in an area that people are unlikely to come across you. We found such a place and settled down with our rug, picnic and supplies. Sadly it was a bit chilly to completely strip off, but it was that secluded that i would have.

The next several hours were spent doing some very nice and some very naughty things. Sir spent a very long time exploring how he could give me pain in my nipples and then bring me to the edge time and time again. This was done in all positions and also tied to one of the trees. It culminated in a very big orgasm which i can’t even quantify. He then applied the clamp to my clit and played with my nipples then fucked me giving me the best orgasm i have ever had during penetrative sex. There was also food, sir as usual had bought some very nice things for us to eat and we also had some lovely time just kissing and holding each other.

As the afternoon drew on we packed up and took a trip around the pathways to the car (not by the most direct route) and several times sir stopped us to either suck his cock or for him to touch various parts of my body which was easily accessible to him in a loose fitting dress with no underwear.

The finale occured in an area containing a picnic table whch looked like it hadn’t been used for food for a very long time. Probably because it is situated in an area that you are unlikely to find (unless you are the kind of explorer Sir obviously is). This is the place then that Sir chose for us to have our final anal sex of the day and boy was it good? Last time, a tummy problem meant i was unable to enjoy anal sex with sir, but yesterday i really enjoyed it. As i get more used to the sensation and am able to relax into Sir’s wonderful cock i feel i am getting closer to being able to cum myself while sir is inside. Sir said himself that he could tell i was close and wondered if i was going to ask to cum. Not quite but maybe next time.

So that was the day in the outdoors. We drove off to a local pub and drank coffee in the garden. i went off to the toilet to make sure i looked presentable and to put my bra on (i needed it by then as my nipples were quite sore and sensitive, as they still are) and then we headed back to the station.

I had a great day which completely lived up to my hopes and dreams and which will stay with me always.

Rules and Punishment

Sir and i are in the early days of our D/s relationship and so far there are few rules. The few that have been ‘negotiated’ (i am not even sure why i typed that word since he told and i do) are as follows:

 

  • Always wear glasses when with Sir – i usually wear contacts but Sir prefers glasses. I am happy to comply since he and i share a bit of a fetish in this area.
  • Always wear stockings when with Sir – i am not yet sure how this will pan out in the height of summer; we’ll see if there is any negotiation outside of the house etc. These stockings must always be of the type that need a suspender belt.
  • Be prepared to assume the submissive position on my knees and to suck Sir’s cock, possibly before i have even got my coat off. Sir is quite cheeky, or else eager; last time i was with him he gave me a very welcome mug of coffee (i had driven for 2 hours to get to him) and told me to sit down, then let me have just one sip before i had to take his cock (not that i am complaining you understand)!

Other than that, he calls me joolz when we are playing, in a scene or he wants to let me know that we are about to play. I call him Sir.

New rules will appear as we go along as they did last night while chatting.

Sir – what are you wearing
joolz – just a skirt and top (not changed after work)
Sir – knickers?
joolz – yes
Sir – you know you must never wear knickers when chatting to sir
joolz – what?

This is a new rule, not discussed and never mentioned. Sometimes he makes me go and take my knickers off during a chat and the other evening to insert a butt plug. But as to what must always take place no. i know though why he introduced it last night, it is because he wants an excuse to punish me. and because i am happy to be punished tomorrow i am not arguing!

We have some great ideas for tomorrow and what will happen and when. I am hoping these come off and i have a good blog post for Sunday! The weather is meant to be good so i think i will be stripped in the forest (save the stockings, suspenders and shoes), i will be wearing the collar that Sir used put on me for the first time last time we met and there will be nipple clamps. And there will be some punishment; perhaps spanking. Bring it on!

Almost too excited

Two events will happen at the end of this week. The first one will be when my son arrives home from the USA on Friday. He has been studying in California for the last academic year, though he did come home for Christmas. We went over to see him for his birthday in February, meeting his American girlfriend, some of his friends and taking him to Vegas!

Saturday sees hubby going on an annual day to the races which will enable Sir and i to have a day out in the great Britich outdoors (please let the weather hold)!

So i am almost too excited to work (though of course i am functioning fine at work). i am anxious about getting the son’s room ready in time (carpet arrives Thursday; yes i am cutting it fine). Plus Sir and i are almost over planning the day we will have (online and this morning on the phone). Sir has in mind some naked outdoor play, some bondage, nipple clamps (if he has bought them), lots of naughty sex, food (there will always be food as sex makes Sir very hungry) and fun. We always have fun.

In a way i dont want to get Friday over – i just want it to arrive. Your baby is always your baby and i so want to see him. But a day with Sir. Well I want that too!

Update to My Journey

I have just updated the ‘The Journey’ Page with my progress over the last month or so. I am going to try to add to the page so that i make it a proper diary / journal of my progress. A place to summarise what i have done and to think a little more deeply about it.

This picture sums things up for me this morning – i am thinking more about what i wear, including the shoes i wear (since sir prefers heels and i wear flats quite a bit) and it shows the long path i think i have just embarked on. The fact that the road is yellow makes me think that there is fun to be had. It is a yellow brick road, i am not Dorothy, but along that road i will need to find courage, a heart and keep my head clear and my brain in gear!

O what a week

This week’s two lunchtime phone sessions have been rounded off by a third last night. i am currently in a hotel in the East of the Country where i am on a work related course. Last evening after dinner with my kindle in the hotel bar (plus a glass of a very average sauvignon blanc) i returned to my lonely room and dressed for sir. i have mentioned before that i am intrigued by my willingness to dress as instructed when the person who did this instructing can’t see me.  Of course i did it and enjoyed the feeling of the sexy underwear as we spoke to each other on the phone. Sir had his children staying (which is why he was unable to join me) and the fact that he whispered down the phone to make sure his older child couldn’t hear if not quite asleep made it all the sexier.

Phone sex is no replacement for the real thing but when you can’t have reality it is pretty sexy and being told what to touch and where, what toys to use and where is even more erotic. We talked about where we will go next time i get down to his place and what we will do when we are there. He is pushing himself and me to try some new things and i am as he says a willing pupil.

i finished my latest book, the second in the Masters at Arms series. i think i will write a review of both the books read so far tomorrow morning.

So despite being alone in a hotel room i am a happy bunny and am feeling pretty fulfilled and loved. That can’t be a bad end to a week can it?

Thoughts from a morning’s painting

All 4 walls are now covered in the chosen colour. The ceiling has been painted twice and no longer looks patchy. This morning i have spent a lot of time painting around windows, doors, the ceiling, radiator, that kind of thing. This is a slower process and allows some more detailed thinking time.

My son is 21. He is my only child (that fact might be worthy of a post another day) and for the last 10 months (other than a month over Christmas) he has been at University in California. Since i am in the UK this is quite a long way away (I know stating the obvious). He is due home at the end of next week and i promised to decorate his room for his return. It will be a more grown up place fitting for a young man about to enjoy summer before going off to his English University for his last year. What will happen after that i don’t know. However he does have an American girlfriend now, so his future may not be in this country. This no longer fills me with the kind of dread that it once did. He has grown into a great young man, and he is someone who will and of course should make his own choices.

This is the last time i will decorate his bedroom. In truth once the summer is over he won’t use it very much until next summer. But decoratng, cleaning and freshening it up (teenage boys are messy and  dirty at times) is part of the whole process i am currently going through. As is the decluttering i am starting to do too. I need to clear out some of the remnants of the past 25 years or more.

As i was painting this morning i was thinking about my house; the place i call home. What does it mean to me? It is a place we moved to when my son was only 3 months old. He has grown up here, and it has been a family place. But it has not always been a happy place for me. i have struggled to get hubby to make it the place i wanted it to be those years ago. He isn’t a DIY person and really only does anything when forced. He is not really bothered by mess or by things that aren’t quite finished. i have tried to start and finish things myself, but it can be difficult when the other person in the relationship can’t really be bothered. Once things ‘look better’ he is happy.

So my thoughts this morning were that while i am enjoying doing this for my son as i enjoy making things nice for myself in this home i don’t really have a deep attachment to it. In the past i always thought that if my marriage failed, he would be the one to leave. Now i am not so sure. I think actually that i would be as happy living somewhere else. In fact i would quite like to live somewhere where i had not spent years struggling through my marriage. Where i had not nagged and ranted at times. Where i had not slammed the door and walked out around the block in tears. Where i had not had to learn to keep my mouth shut.

When the time comes i think i can walk away and leave this place. I think i can take with me the good and leave behind the bad. i just don’t know yet when that will be. For now, i am going to live for today. And for next Friday when he comes home for the summer (or for a few days until he goes to visit his university friends).

This morning’s music has been entirely the Verve. My favorite from them is Bitter Sweet Symphony, which i have been singing while i work.

Now it is lunchtime and soon i will be having a ‘chat’ with Sir. If it is worthy of note, i may write something else later!

On the Phone

You might call this post ophone, rather than iphone!

i have a couple of days off to decorate my son’s room. i have been looking forward to these days, not specifically because of the decorating though that is quite theraputic (when you have moved on from painting the ceiling which is quite painful), particularly for someone like me who has lots to consider right now.

i love listening to music when i am doing things like painting, and i like to choose music to fit my mood. This morning’s selection has included Adele, Mumford and Sons and Keane. i find you can fit the lyrics to many a song to your thoughts and feelings. One of my favourite songs ever is Keane’s “Somewhere only we know“. This made me think of a place Master took me last week in the great English outdoors and got me thinking about the things we did there. There is something about being outside that i find very erotic. But then most things i do with Sir right now is pretty erotic. As i am not entirely shallow i also spent quite a bit of Adele’s albumn considering the state of my relationship with the man with whom i live and what i am going to do in the mid to longer term. i would like to stay living together, and to be able to see Sir openly, but i don’t think that will work for him. Still i will continue to work that one through in my head. i think i will return to that at a later date here as this place is quite a good one for thinking things through.

Sir arranged with me yesterday that we would have a phone ‘chat’ today at lunchtime. We arranged what i would wear. i really do love wearing what sir tells me to, even if i know he can’t see me. Today it was my split bra and knicker set, suspenders, stockings and high heel fuck me shoes. i have had to put myself out and at 12.30 there i was having my second shower of the day (decorating is hot and colourful work) before dressing. We have been talking about Sir buying me some nipple clamps; this idea definitely appeals to me as i very much like having then pinched and bitten. So today he suggested clothes pegs to try it out. And wow what an amazing experience.iI put them on while we were talking about things we have done and will do in the future. Boy it was like being short circuited! i had the most amazing orgasm right there on the phone with Sir. Nipples pegged and clit massaged. i  had to lie down afterwards due to being just a little on the light headed side. Sir was pretty pleased and is definitely keen on the clamps now, and wow so am i.

So back in my decorating clothes; back to work. Just got to decide on some suitable music for the afternoon session. something up beat to match my mood i think!