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Being pierced

My left breast with a small bite to the left of the nipple. I have a piercing with a semi circular ring in situ. the colour contrast between the area of my chest that has seen the sun and that which has been in my bra are marked. The sun is also shining on the paler area.

We had been together just a matter of weeks when I became a pierced woman. I’d had my ears pierced as a teenager, but body piercings weren’t something I had considered until I was in my 50s.

S had first broached the idea and I have to say I was tempted. But since he wasn’t as committed to our relationship as me, I’m glad that didn’t happen. But when Master suggested nipple and clit piercings to me, I jumped at the chance. To this day, I don’t even know why I was so keen.

Sign of my submission

Or maybe being pierced was something that felt part of my submission. An intimate way of showing him I wanted to be his submissive. It felt right and since he came with me when I had them done, I knew he was serious. I wrote about the experience here, at the time.

Since that time we have discussed the links between my piercings and role as his submissive and slave. Certainly they have been a focus of his attention over the years. That I was willing to do that for him and that he could enjoy them so much.

An aid to pleasure

I always loved having my nipples played with. Also, I loved (and hate) having clamps applied. To begin with, the slight pain following piercing was a turn on in itself. Later once they began to heal I enjoyed trying new jewellery and he loved putting chains between them.

The clit piercing was and still is quite the arousal tool. He loves rubbing his finger, tongue or cock over it. I also like to rub around the bar when I get myself off. Also if I wear something tight I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t take much wriggling to be able to come through my clothes.

It is in a mighty fiddly place though. I can only see it with a mirror and we had the devils job undoing the balls on the bar. So much so that I left it in place till I had surgery last October (4 years). We replaced the metal with a plastic bar which is there now. I have plans to change it and Master has bought me a new jewelled bar. But we are lazy and maybe it won’t be done till after my next surgery.

My one nipple

The histology report on my mastectomy said that the right nipple was chronically inflamed. I have to admit that the piercing continued to weep and crust even after 4 years. The left was always better, especially once I’d had it re-pierced in Amsterdam.

Now of course I have one breast, one nipple and one piercing. The pleasure I used to have when my breast and nipple were stroked and caressed is not so evident. I know this is psychological and hopefully it will subside. Maybe once I have two breasts again, I will take more pleasure in nipple play again. Mean time, I still wear my jewellery and like the way it looks.

Instead of dwelling on this, we are looking forward to new piercings once surgery is done.

Future piercings

We’ve talked for a long time about me getting my inner labia pierced. I’ve written about it and would love it I know. Along with the tattoos we have planned that is the next step. I will need my new breast tattooing with a nipple and I will be looking for someone experienced in that area. At the same time, I hope to get the piercings done too.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked
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Welcome to the pleasure dome

It’s been a long time, at least two weeks, perhaps more. Distance and then various appointments during the first few days back from Cyprus . Now at last we have time, energy and will power.

“You are my pleasure bitch” he says as he slides his cock over my clit piercing and teases my vulva with it. “Welcome to the pleasure dome” I answer.

He says he loves using my piercing to stimulate his cock. It certainly gets me going too. Lubricating his cock with my juice he slides deep inside. It’s been a while since I’ve felt quite so aroused and damn it today I want to come. This isn’t always the case these days, I wrote about that here. But today is different. “I need the new vibrator“, I say and he does no more but pulls away and goes to get it.

I am on my side, he spooned into my back. His cock is deep inside me, hard and almost too big to fit. I open my legs and place the large bulb of the vibrator onto my cunt. The vibrations are deep and strong and he sighs with pleasure. “Is that good?” I ask. “Oh yes, pleasure bitch its good!”

Quickly I feel my orgasm build. From within, where his cock throbs and outside where the machine vibrates my clit jewellery. The orgasm doesn’t take long to build and I am given permission to cum. Recently no count has been long enough, but today I wonder if I can hold it to 1. I do though.

We lie a while, the orgasm pulsating through us both. Finally he gets back on top and tells me he needs to come inside me. To breed me. Soon he his hot spunk is coursing through my vagina, mixing with my own plentiful juices.

Later on, straight after a lunchtime concert recital I go off to the ladies. I am pleased and not at all surprised to see the dampness still emerging onto my panties.

Pleasure dome indeed!

Masturbation Monday
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Dangling

My blog and memes like Sinful Sunday have definitely made me into more of an exhibitionist. But there is someone else who likes to show himself off and who lets me photograph him. This photo was taken on our boat holiday and shows Master letting it all hang loose. So, I’ve called this photo dangling.

Standing in the doorway of our boat. He is wearing a shirt, but no trousers!
Sinful Sunday
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Being apart

I arrived home last night, after a week away with my mum. There was so much I missed about being apart from Master. This felt worse because being away with mum made me recognise the changes I have made and why I would never go back.

For so many years I was forced to take the lead in decision making.

My husband struggled to make the most simple decisions. His libra birth sign (the scales) may be relavent, but whatever the reason it was most irritating.

We also led our lives within the constraints of family. My mother especially was dominant and my dad liked us to go along with her wishes. This caused conflict in our own relationship as well as mine with them. But more often than not we did as they wanted.

The last 10 years has seen a lot of change. My husband and I separated, my son and his cousins grew up and moved away, my dad got cancer and died. But more profound from my point of view, I discovered my submission and found myself a new partner who happens to be my Master. I still make decisions but not all decisions and I don’t feel I need to please anyone outside of our relationship.

My mum is a difficult woman to like. She has a sharp tongue, one embittered by perceived wrongs. None of her children do quite enough and decisions we made together are viewed with contempt. She says she is grateful for the things I do, but I know she talks about me to others.

In this context I left the safe environment of my home and took my mum away to Cyprus for a week.

The hotel, weather and food were all good. But always there is an undercurrent of displeasure. She complained about many things and when I made suggestions about how to make things better she would sit with a pained expression. Decisions were for me to make, but when I did they weren’t right either.

Then there was the fact we shared a room. I’ve come home sleep deprived because of the amount she moves around. Plus the sounds she makes in her sleep. I’ve tried to be calm and cheerful. But I have missed Master a lot. Not just because I’d rather sleep with him than my mum. Or because I like that I don’t have to decide on restaurants, or wine. His presence is calming but unfortunately it wouldn’t be if he had been with me. They don’t really get on. My mum never liked any of her children’s partners, though this is denied. So her not liking Master was no real surprise.

I also missed the fun things Master and I tend to do together, the places we go and things we see. That isn’t so much fun alone. My mum is happy to travel for 5 hours on a plane and do nothing when she gets there. On the positive side, I’ve caught up on sleep and rest on a sun bed, read an entire book and enjoyed the pool and sea.

But sadly every minute with my mum reminds me of my life before and to be frank I don’t want it back. She is elderly now, just turned 80. I am doing my best to make her life pleasant and help her do things she wants. But I won’t compromise my own happiness any more. I am glad to be back.

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Music – The food of love

Music has been an ever present feature of my life. Apparently Shakespeare’s Twelth Night quote is about using music to cure an obsession with love. I am not obsessional about love, any more than I am about music, but do think the two go hand in hand.

Childhood

Nursery rhymes were a feature of my young life and I especially remember my grandmother singing them to me, though I am sure my mum did too. Speaking and singing to my own son followed and I loved the way they made him smile and laugh.

At home music was ever present. My parents had a large and varied record collection, my mum also listened to the radio and I especially remember radio programmes as the background to life at home. Tony Blackburn’s dog Arnold, Jimmy Young’s recipe of the day and of course a never ending stream of pop music. This was the 70’s and particularly summer time seemed full of sing along songs. Silence was not something you heard in our house. This is still true in my mum’s home, though while she still listen’s to the radio in the mornings, the noise more often is from the TV. I have since grown to like silence as much as I like to listen to music, but then I don’t live alone.

One Christmas when I was about 13 I recieved a tape deck from my parents. I had peviously had a radio in my room and used the family record player for my own records, but now I could listen to my music in my own room. David Cassidy, David Soul, the Osmands and my personal favourite Bay City Rollers were my teenage prefences. I loved to lay on my bed, dreaming of love or writing romantic fiction while the music wafted over me. Yes, I was something of a romantic.

Live music

Music and lots of it was played at school. I turned out to be pretty inept at playing my own chosen instrument, the clarinet, but there was no shortage of opportunities to listen to others. We also had practice music rooms, where we could go at lunchtime. I taught myself a few tunes on the piano, but in the main stuck to popular music. Luckily our music competitions and school plays encouraged a mixture. It wasn’t that I didn’t like classical music, it was that I didn’t understand it and wasn’t curious enough to find out.

My first experience of live music outside of school was a trip to see Gary Glitter. Sadly he turned out to be a paedophile so being one of ‘my gang’ wouldn’t be the thing now. But at the time, it was fun and exciting. I realised that seeing a singer or band live was a completely different experience to listening to them while lying on your bed at home.

It wasn’t until I was newly married though that I experienced more live music, starting with Queen at Knebworth, which luckily was very close to my then home town. This was live music on a scale I had only seen on TV. It was exciting, spine tingling, sexual even. After that I had the bug and we went to lots of smalleer concerts and then later on Robbie Williams also at Knebworth. In the main, I would never turn up the chance of live music even if I wasn’t sure it was to my taste. The experience and anticipation of being in the same room, hall or field with the musicians is something I love.

Attending classical recitals gives me the same thrill, and that is part of my life now.

A journey into the unknown

Master loves music. Jazz, show music, Lieder, Piano, Chamber and some pop. But he is discerning in his choice and views. He knows what he likes, will give what he doesn’t know a chance but won’t listen if he thinks something is wrong. his abiliity to identify musicians playing early 20th century jazz music is amazing but then he is also good at naming 70’s pop artists. He can tell if a piece is being played at the wrong tempo or if an instrument is out of tune or heaven forbid being played badly.

Being with Master has meant exploring a whole new avenue of music enjoyment and lots and lots of live music to enjoy. I have learned about various composers through attending educational events and festivals. I find the lives and times of Debussy, Wolf, Shumann etc. as fascinating as their music. I don’t claim to have great knowledge, but I am enjoying learning. Music was one of the non kink threads that bound us. We have learned and tolerated each others choices and grown to appreciate our differences.

Master also likes quiet. He loves music but cannot stand ever constant noise, he likes to be able to think. Over the years this is something I have grown to appreciate too. We sometimes have music playing when we eat or play or have sex. But equally there are many times when we don’t. We watch films and TV or actively listen to music of an evening. But sometimes we just sit quietly reading or we talk.

#F4TFriday
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Return to CMnf

I was anxious, almost as scared as the first time. Would people stare at my scar, my lack to a right breast? Would I be able to walk with confidence from the locker room, through the bar and into the play area?
The answer is yes. I did feel self conscious as I removed my clothes, particularly bra. But if others in the locker room noticed anything they didn’t show it. Joining Master at the seats in the open play area he smiled appreciatively. He helped me put on the body chain we had brought with us for the occasion and I sank gratefully onto the sofa and took a sip of prosecco. It was cool and refreshing; I let the bubbles evaporate on my tongue.

The printed agenda for the afternoon informed us that temporary tattoos were available, and since I don’t yet have anything permanent, I went off in search of one. I was pleasantly surprised to find that these were being applied by the team member who has also had a mastectomy.
Months ago, she wrote on Fetlife about attending her first post mastectomy CMnf. I had reached out to her, making contact even though I knew I wouldn’t be attending that one. We had exchanged words of encouragement, so it was good to have this opportunity to speak. She applied my chosen tattoo just above my scar as requested. As we chatted briefly about our shared experience, I knew coming today had been the right thing to do.

Playtime

We sat on our own for a while and watched as people arrived and the new ones were shown round. There were a few familiar faces, but sadly no one we actually knew. However we were soon joined by a threesome. Two ladies, obviously partners and their clothed Dom. We exchanged pleasantries and then decided to get our playtime in early. Very few people had begun to play yet, so most of the equipment was free, meaning we had maximum choice.
We haven’t played much recently, partly because we didn’t take any toys on holiday (the car was too packed with other stuff for one thing). But it was good to be bent over a bench again, wearing the blindfold Master so thoughtfully gave me. While he sorted out his implements of torture I relaxed into my role and let the sounds of music wash over me. Classical tracks that were easy to escape into, starting with some Bach (so I was told).

Gentle, leather strokes on my back and bottom were followed by the familiar sting of the flogger. Next something altogether firmer and sharper, something bristly then down right painful. I protested and for my trouble was rewarded with clamps being applied to my labia! Apparently, complaining about this was being bratty, but anyway once they were in place they were less panful than another source of arousal.
More impact followed, some more painful than others. But even though I moaned and said no, the idea of asking for him to stop never crossed my mind. I settled into the pain and pleasure, allowed the music and even people’s voices to fill my subconscious. This was truly our best play session in a long time. I felt relaxed and at home. I wasn’t tired or stressed and for once I just let it happen.

Afterwards we returned to our sofa and I spent some time recovering, eating chocolate and drinking prosecco and water for hydration purposed. Our session, which our sofa neighbours had been watching with interest, broke the ice and led to much conversation. The afternoon then passed in a relaxed companionable way with our new found friends (there has been further contact through Fetlife and email), We will hopefully see them again in the future).

Another high point was when I was stopped on my way to the toilet by the club owner’s partner. She and her friend congratulated me on being there and being willing to show my body. She told me I looked great. I have to admit I felt it.
I know I wouldn’t take my top off on a beach right now. It wouldn’t feel right. But Taking my clothes off at CMnf felt good. It took courage, but that was rewarded many times over. The kink community can be truly wonderful, or so it felt last weekend.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked
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Sun kissed skin

The past few days have been cooler and for the first time since the beginning of July I have worn trousers and a long sleeve shirt. While we had a few cool evenings on holiday even in France, there was still no need to cover up.

I love to feel the warm sun on my skin. Love that my arms and legs are now a golden tan colour. I have fair, freckly skin so am very careful. I apply lots of sun cream and moisturiser in the evening and try not to allow myself to burn. There are strap marks this year though as tops with thin straps were out and I had to wear a bra all the time. But next year I hope to be able to be braless much more and allow the sun to see a little more of my body.

We’ve had some great opportunities for photos where I show some flesh. Including those outdoors. I’ve just been reading Purple Sole’s post on planning such photoshoots, which is worth a read. Ours were a little more ad hoc meaning I didn’t completely strip off. But still we were able to make the most of near empty castles and remote countryside.

Not wearing so much also gives Master the chance to touch me, his property. There is something very sexy and arousing about being out in the open air. I know he loves to stroke my skin. Plus he loves to see my legs or back as we wander around. It really isn’t quite the same when you are out walking on a November afternoon, wrapped in wool.

Sadly the tan will fade and we will have to cover up and soon. The coats and boots will come out of the cupboard and the warm sun will be a memory. But the memories will remain. As will the evidence of a summer of sun. Our collection of photos.

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Foreplay

We have a new toy. The old one was, perhaps a little worn out. This morning we tried it out and I can confirm that not only is it the perfect foreplay toy it is also pretty good at giving orgasms! Or maybe it was the skilled operator!

Sinful Sunday
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Friends

The current “Tell Me About” topic is Friends. To be precise the topic is FrienD/s, or the people we have met and got to know because of our D/s (or M/s) relationship.

The difficulties

We have been together for just over 5 years and in the context of both of our lives, that is a short period of time. Neither of us has any close friends when we met. I have various people from school, nursing school and work that I occasionally socialise with. But the ending of my marriage also ended some friendships, or it stopped me being asked places. Not that I was or am especially worried. I’m not sure that Master is one for close friends either.

In addition there is the issue of the context of our relationship, the power exchange thing. That doesn’t preclude us from having friends, but it could make it awkward. We have a friend who lives in Holland, she has been a friend of Master’s for a long time. I expect she knows something of our dynamic though we haven’t discussed it with her. But the three of us can discuss most things and have done.

Otherwise, we are reasonably close to my brother and his partner and are considering a holiday with them next year. I wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing the nature of our M/s relationship with them. As far as they know we are regular people, which of course we are.

Everyone else we socialise with are people we’ve met through this blog or through Fetlife.

Online acquaintances can become good friends

I have Molly and Michael to thank for the fact that I have got to know quite so many people from the kink and blogging community. We had attended a couple of Munches before we went to theirs. But it is through that Munch we met Sub B and her partner, @Bear’s Cub and @Hairy Dom and others who don’t blog. We don’t get along every month but it is our favourite type of regular social event. It is through Molly that we have attended CMnf and other play events at the same club. There we met an Irish couple who we hit it off with and I am now in touch with the s of that relationship regularly. In fact I think we will be seining them next week.

I love that we can all talk, not just about ordinary stuff like holidays, work, the weather or whatever, but also sex, kink and blogging. That my first public play took place in front of a group of people that I know from the Munch. I also know that isn’t what everyone would feel comfortable with, but it works just fine for me.

Eroticon

For many of us, it is Eroticon that brought us physically together. We may have begun by commenting on each other’s blogs and felt an affinity there. Then chatted on twitter or via DM and finally got the courage to book tickets to the writing and blogging event of the year.

As I’ve written before, I hardly spoke to a soul I hadn’t already met on my first Eroticon in 2017. This year was completely different. My confidence has grown immensely and already counted some people as friends before we had met in person this year. This meant that we ended up going to both social events and spent prolonged periods of time engaged in conversation with a number of fabulous people. I’d really love to get to know many of these friends better, but time and geography tend to get in the way.

Having met in person at Eroticon we made a point of meeting up and having dinner with Rebel and Master T when we were staying near their home town. I’m sure there will be meetings with others in the future if the chance arises. I guess Missy and His Lordship might think Scotland would be a good call and I’d be inclined to agree!

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