Directions

We had a very nice online kind of chat. Discussed both of our days and talked through some of our recent real life difficulties. i love the chats about life in general as much as i enjoy our sex chats. Any way we moved on to discussing next week. Not only is hubby off to the far north for a stag weekend of drinking and general bad behaviour but son is off to the graduation party of his mates ( a year in California makes your degree last 4 years and means you graduate after your year). Usually i would embrace a weekend of me time. But given that i now have sir, who wouldn’t think that time with him wouldn’t be preferable.

We talked through what is to be expected next week, the clothes and shoes i will take with me and finishing up with what i will wear when i arrive.

Our relationship is about trust. It is about consensual sex, about knowing what we can expect from each other. That is not to say there won’t be surprises, there aways are.

At the end of the conversation we discussed what i will be wearing when i arrive at Sir’s next week. Then, knowing that i have had no orgasms since our last get together all those days ago, Sir instructed me to go to bed and to cum for him.

Shockingly for me this took just a few short minutes of pussy stroking, clit pressure, clit stroking and a very nice combination of all three. It just shows what can happen when you are told what to do and you apply your mind in the right way! Bring on the real thing!

Quick update

i had a lovely weekend in Barcelona, with good company and some long awaited sun! i have returned with some rare sunburn, i am usually so careful and i really don’t know how i managed to let it happen. Lets just say that it was a very windy day, i went in the sea after lunch and didn’t reapply the cream in enough time. Hopefully by the time i see Sir next week i will be a slightly browner shade of red!

Other than the one day on the beach, we did the tourist thing – at last i got to see the inside of Gaudi’s great Sagrada Famillia and i wasn’t disappointed. i really love Barcelona for its mix of arty culture, good food, drink and the beach. The only thing that made it difficult was my continuing anxiety about my current relationship with hubby versus a desire to be with Sir.

The relationship i have with hubby is fine enough, but if i say that he didn’t seem bothered that we had been given a twin room rather than a double you might get the sense of where we are right now. Our lack of physical contact goes un noticed however and my brother, who we were with assumes that we are fine and we will go on forever. The fact that no one sees what i feel as a general sense of unhappiness is in one way a good thing, but in another feels like a lack of awareness of the needs of others – in essence me.

i have chatted online to Sir. i don’t know if he has read the blog but if he has it hasn’t done anything to ruin things between us. i will broach the subject with him, maybe tonight. A week tomorrow we should be getting to spend at least one whole night together and maybe more. Hubby is going on a bachelor weekend trip and i get something of a breather. i think i will need it.

Not much from me in the last week, but i intend to write lots over the weekend, when time is on my side.

Dear SIR

So today i head off to Barcelona for the weekend with hubby, my brother and his girlfriend, it feels like a good time to tell you that i have been writing this blog. You will have received the url in an email and i hope you read it. By doing so i hope that you can tell, if you didn’t know already that meeting you has had a profound effect on me and on my life. i just want to say, Sir, that i couldn’t be more glad that i stumbled across you on that particular chat site. That we played out that scene that night, that we chatted on the phone and that i was brave enough to turn up when we arranged to meet. In 3 short months you have helped me to find a completely different side to myself.

i started writing this blog soon after, as a place to write about myself and the person i hoped to become. i hope you will agree that with your help i am well on that journey. Who would have believed that i would become such a slut, and what is more your slut!

As you know i would give anything to be heading away for the weekend with you, but rest assured i will be thinking about you and about the wonderful things we do together, the amazing way you make me feel and will be looking forward to us being together for at least a whole night later this month.

With all of my love Sir,
Joolz xxx

The Good (rather than), the bad and slightly bizarre

The best thing about Monday night was the feeling that we could be out on a proper date, rather than meeting for lots of sex and then going home. Well of course there was lots of sex and then i did go home, but still.

The hour before we left for the restaurant was pretty intense, as that first hour together tends to be when you haven’t seen each other for a couple of weeks. Sir reclaims every part of my body and i make sure he knows that i know what i am there for. His fingers between my legs, between the slit of my little split g-string, making me gasp. Lying down on the cupboard while Sir explored me with his tongue. On my knees for sir while i tasted his cock again. On the bed nipples clamped, Sir’s tongue on my clit, bringing me to the edge, again. On the floor in front of the mirror while Sir took my ass. Then lying together on the bed, stroking, kissing.

When we left the room to go out for dinner, i was wearing the remote controlled egg. Sir had to practise the functions on the way to get the hang of it. i just loved the unpredictability of it suddenly sending little pulses through me. The restaurant wasn’t busy, though it was a Monday so the fact that there were a few groups and couples was a good indication that we were likely to get a good meal. We weren’t disappointed. This was actually the first time we had been out for dinner together, usually we have eaten food that Sir has prepared in his house or one time a picnic. The tables had cloths as requested by Sir, but sadly we weren’t sitting in quite the right position to each other to take advantage of that. Still there was the egg, which Sir said he couldn’t tell was on or off (since he couldn’t hear it), i have to say that i could! The food was very nice and the service attentive but not over powering.

We took a scenic tour of the City back to the room, luckily the rain we had experienced on the way to the restaurant had stopped. However there were quite a few people around so no chance for any kind of naughtiness (just as well probably). So back to the room and more quality time together before i headed off home (as previously described).

Tuesday dawned, another wet day (June has been the wettest on record and July seems set to follow suit) as i headed over to the B&B. i arrived shortly after 9am and with check out at 10.30 there wasn’t a great deal of time. Still as if we only ever had an hour or so we would fill it up pretty intensely, and we did! The actual order of proceedings are kind of blurred right now, but suffice to say that Sir claimed each of my holes with His cock. Plus i was given my fair share of orgasms. All in all it was a pretty good start to the day.

The rest of the day we spent doing some fun, but dull weather related activities – shopping (some very nice new red split panties await me as Sir’s for next time), walking, sightseeing (we were in a historic kind of place) and a very pleasant lunch.

As i returned home, Sir safely on the train, me slightly red faced from my encounter with Mrs B&B lady, but my bag safely by my side, i could still feel where Sir had been. A slightly sore feeling bottom and a feeling of satisfaction. That feeling is worth any kind of slight embarrassment. Especially as that lady knows what i know: i am definitely a slut, just a forgetful one!

The good, the bad and slightly bizarre

I have been wondering how to describe the last couple of days and maybe this will sum it up! Perhaps reverse order, like X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent and Miss World? Warning: this will be quite a long post so I am splitting it into two.

Slightly Bizarre
Sir was very pleased with himself. He found a lovely B&B in the middle of the City, overlooking the Cathedral. It was very nice, and the room was lovely. The bed was low, but it was beautiful. If a Person arrived there organised, with rope then their Sub could be tied to that bed nicely. Still we weren’t to know, and sadly despite the lovely spacious room, with its lovely bed, beautiful bathroom, we won’t be able to visit again. This is directly related to the decision i made aproximately a week or more ago that staying over would be a step too far.

Cheating on hubby doesn’t come easily to me, i am new to it. Indeed i would say i am learning how to be Sir’s slut more quickly and efficiently than learning to be particularly adventurous or good at telling lies. Usually in a year i might stay out overnight once or twice and i have already done that 3 times (only one of those with Sir mind you, the others on bonefide work trips). I should have made this number 4 but instead i decided to go home and then return to Sir bright and early. This was a mistake in a small B&B. The lady of the house met me at the front door as i left, and asked where i was going and what about my husband? I managed to escape but then getting into my car realised i had left my glasses in Sir’s room (damn Sir’s glasses fetish, contact lenses are often more convenient)! Sir brought my glasses down, which involved him needing to interact with Mrs lady of the house!

i returned in the morning; Sir told me that she continued to refer to me as his wife, though he had never told her i was such a person. She greeted me as i came in feeling not a little embarrassed, but to be honest Sir kept me busy for a good hour or more after that (more later).

i had brought a bag with me, with the sorts of things a girl might need when meeting her lover on a summers evening (stockings, suspenders, a variety of toys and fuck me shoes to name but a few things). These were packed in the bag as we prepared to leave at around 10.30.

At around 3pm, as i dropped Sir at the station it became apparent that while we had Sir’s belongings we did not have mine. Luckily Sir had suggested he take home with him a number of items  – maids outfit and my split bra and knickers (Sir particularly likes these), so these were in his bag. After leaving Sir to get his train i returned to the B&B and Mrs lady of the house.

She opened the door with a little smile. The kind of smile that tells you she has had a good look and has a mental view of every item – the egg vibe with remote control, the butt plug, the vibrator (the last 2 not used on this occasion), the suspender belt, stockings and the black 4 inch heels. “you will be needing this” she said as i practically ran to my car and drove off. Sir’s text later showed he found all of this VERY amusing.

The moral. Be brave, stay the night with your man and don’t forget your bag especially if its contents are a little on the embarrassing side!

The Bad

This bit will be short, since not much was actually bad.

The weather could have been better; have i mentioned how terrible this summer is proving, well it is! There was rain and when it wasn’t raining it wasn’t entirely dry. Still we didn’t let the weather cause us too much trouble since we are British people who are used to it!

Sir felt a little off colour over the two days. However he didn’t really let it prevent us having some pretty good sex. OK so he wasn’t necessarily up to his own very high standards, but they were way higher than those offered up by most men. i was not disappointed!

Nothing else was especially bad. Good will follow shortly!

Got to get my thoughts in order

Don’t get me wrong, Monday and Tuesday with Master were great. They were a little different from our other encounters, a mixture of great sex, lovely cuddles, a little (slightly) naughty public stuff, quite a bit of cultural touristy stuff, a little shopping and two very nice, but different meals out. But i really need to get the events sorted into some kind of order so that i can write a reasonably coherent blog post.

As a little taster i can reveal that Sir spanked me soundly and that i enjoyed it very much. i can also reveal that Sir had a very nice, spacious room which lent itself nicely to some great play. i can reveal that the remote toy worked well; Sir enjoyed the control he had over it very much and i found it very erotic. i definitely made a mistake in not being bold enough to stay the night and will go into more detail of the rather bizarre consequences of my going home and coming back the next morning.

Mostly though it was just really nice to spend some quality time with Sir, to be able to chat, to walk the streets hand in hand and to enjoy meals out together.

More later, work beckons…..

New month, new look

i have given myself a makeover, as i wasn’t all that sure about the orangeness i had before. i quite like the new look, what do you think?

This blog makeover led me to think about what to write about today, and my appearance seems to be something worthy of a post, so here goes.

Since i have been seeing Sir i have been thinking much more about my appearance and about the clothes i wear. It is not that previously i looked like someone who had been dragged through a bush and then went around wearing a sack, far from it. But i wore trousers a lot, rarely bothered with make up and rarely took the time to match my underwear. Sir prefers to see my legs and he likes  me in stockings, preferably held up with a suspender belt. Since i threw out all of the suspender belts i ever owned some time ago, i have had to invest in new ones. Plus since i am tall, i have had to explore which supplier of stockings suits my height and build best. Over the last few months i have had some difficult moments with stockings being too short and suspender belts wanting to follow them down to my feet!

Sir likes me out and about without knickers, even when he is not with me. i have actually enjoyed doing this for him. Knowing there is nothing between my bare pussy and ass and the outside world, other than my skirt tends to focus my mind on what i am doing and how i move. It makes me think of who i am, what i am and who i am doing this for. That i expect is the point of the exercise. i don’t do this all of the time, i am human, i like to wear trousers, sometimes it is windy and sometimes i just plain forget and wear knickers. i also cannot and will not wear stockings all the time when he isn’t around me. For a start, bare legs are best for summer and even though the weather in the UK has so far been mainly unsummer like, i like to make the point to the world that this is summer.

The other issue is shoes. As i said above i am tall. i tend to wear shoes that are either flat, or else with just a small heel. I do own shoes with heels, but tend not to wear them all that much. Actually i do look quite good in heels, i have long legs and they do lend themselves well to a heel.

Sir is shorter than me in height, indeed this is the first time i have been with someone who isn’t taller than me. He seems to like it and to be honest he has other features that mean i don’t mind if he doesn’t. We are settling on the very high heels for the bedroom (as it were) and perhaps slightly less high for when we are out and about. This means i am less taller than him and also can actually walk.

The final thing which i have changed relates to hair (pussy rather than that on my head). Since i have been seeing Sir i have removed it all and kept it pretty much shaved. Hubby has always been on at me to do this, and i have resisted in the past, but now i am bare down there, i actually like it. i am quite a hairy person if i don’t shave / use hair removal products, so always removed some hair. But actually the feel of my own bare skin is something i have decided i like for myself as well as for him.

Still to attend to is my weight. i have a constant battle with it and just lately i feel it is creeping up (well actually i know it is creeping up) and i need to get better control of my food intake, and of my exercise regime. This is something Sir can’t really help with, and i know it is something i need to do myself. And i will.

More Saturday thoughts

It’s been a busy day, but everything i have done today has been filled with thoughts of Monday.

Yesterday we chatted on the phone. Indeed we didn’t just chat, Sir made me come in the office of my Director. As He reminded me, i have come a long way since we met 3 months ago. We had chatted via Yahoo for a few minutes, with Sir pressing me further and further within the confines of my office to first spread my legs then to touch myself. The office is open plan, but Friday is comparatively quiet, so i had just one person next to me, though people behind and in front.  Then he phoned. He and i knew i had somewhere to take the call. I was pretty excited, since i haven’t even touched myself in two whole weeks by this time.

As we talked, Sir had me touch myself; i stood behind the closed door to do so. We talked about what we will do on Monday and what we have done before. i came easily (who wouldn’t given the restraint i have offered over the last two weeks).

Sir has apparently bought me a present for Monday, but won’t say what it is.
i have bought the remote controlled egg.

Such potential fun means that apprehension and tension is high!

So during ironing, shopping, lunch with hubby,  a walk by a canal with hubby, home for a couple of hours, tea with the inlaws then a tortuous wimbledon match involving Andy Murray, and the drive involved in getting to a from these places, all involve me thinking about Monday.  What is more i am handed the anxiety of a potential wet day on Tuesday and the thought that i may have to bring Sir here rather than enjoy outside fun.

Saturday thoughts

i like Saturdays. The one day of the week when i nether have to go to work today or tomorrow, don’t get me wrong, i do like work, i enjoy my job very much, but i also like days when i don’t work. On Saturdays i tend to get up early. I tend not to sleep late these days and actually i like to get up when the house is quiet and i like to get my laptop out and see what is going on in the webworld. Lately i like, while i am alone, to think about what has happened, might happen and blog about it here. Pain’s Pleasure’s blog post yesterday has inspired the words i am writing this morning.

For the last few months, since i decided to explore more about D/s i have read so much both online and off. I have been struck by just how much information is out there and just how many well thought out, well written words there are out there for people like me to find. i have also been struck by how welcoming people can be to their community when you happen to stumble across it and leave a mark or two of your own. As i have mentioned before, i don’t even have friends i can talk about the state of my marriage with, let alone discuss what i like to do with the man i am illicitly having an affair with. So being offered the hand of contact and perhaps in time virtual friendship is very welcome.

I am struck by the extent to which the blog world provides an opportunity to see such a wide range of lifestyles and interests, while at the same time feeling like a community. i found this before when blogging about nursing. Through writing a nursing / work related blog, i have found that our lives while different, are often so so similar. i have found that people across the world with similar interests have many more similarities than they do differences. The same seems to go for the BDSM world. As with nursing, there are many specialities, different ways of living the lifestyle, but something brings those people together. My blog roll here is getting longer and this is now one of the first places i come to when turing on my computer. i love to see what has been happening to people, or how their wonderful vivid imaginations are working. i enjoy thinking about the lifestyles people are living and wondering if that is something i would want to consider.

Would i want to live a 24/7 lifestyle, could i do it?  Possibly, and certainly i would like the opportunity to live it much more than i am now. 

Am i slave material? Probably not, i am probably much too mouthy, far too used to being controlling over my own life. I am also not sure about domestic discipline type stuff – this is one of many things that Fondlers Anonymous has been discussing here

Do i want to be spanked more, given that Sir isn’t really all that keen on inflicting pain in that way? Mind you he has got the hang of causing pretty acute pain to my nipples and breasts once he realised what it did to my ability to submit. So maybe.

So as i get on with Saturday, and i must get on with the less enjoyable part (ironing then shopping to do), before getting onto more fun things (a walk and lunch with hubby), i have to say a big thank you to the people i have met online so far, to those whose blogs are helping expand my mind and thoughts and who have welcomed me into their world.

While at times i am really struggling with my emotions, i can honestly say i am feeling much happier with life than i was 3 months ago when all this began for me. Of course alot of that is about my lovely Master, but much of it is about so much more!

Submission

We are chatting on Yahoo, which is now our main source of correspondence, about next week. He asks what time i will arrive and we discuss what time we will eat dinner. He says that he hopes that we make it to the restaurant. i suggest that he exerts some control and makes sure that we do. He tells me that HE will decide what happens and when. i am in my place, and guess what i love it!

As with many people whose relationship is growing and developing, we discuss all sorts. On Sunday, given the events proceeding on the TV at the time (England losing as usual in a penalty shootout) we discussed that, our weekends, our families, his cold. i do like to discuss normal things, but i also like it when the conversation turns. i love it when he suddenly says: “you know what you will be doing as soon as you walk into the hotel room”? Of course i know, and just the very thought of being on my knees, collar on my neck, his cock in my mouth causes a little gush from below (no i haven’t wet myself). We move on to discussing the remote bullet i am hoping to purchase this week. He loves the idea of being in control of me while say, i am ordering dinner in the restaurant with tablecloths. Then he says he may make me wear a plug too. i am torn between that thrill of humiliation and fear of walking through the streets of a city near here wondering if what is inside will stay there. Another slight gush! i ask if i will be permitted to wear shoes that i can actually walk in. Yes he says, so long as i bring along some good killer heels for the room. We move onto what i have been wearing this weekend. Trousers i say – well who wouldn’t with the weather we had last week and at the weekend. i know he likes to think of me in a skirt at all times, but this is never happening. He considers a punishment for some clothing misdemeanour, since he hasn’t yet told me i can wear knickers again. i am all for punishment, don’t worry about that.

i really love the fact that a conversation for say an hour can make you feel so turned on. i really love the fact i can live on anticipation. It is 11 days since i was with Sir and was permitted what felt like 100 orgasms. Today is the first day that i would like to masturbate. This is something of a record for me as before i met sir 3 times a day would be the norm. He would be OK if i decided that i needed to get out my rabbit, though he prefers it if he is around in some way (on the phone for example), but actually i am going to try to last out. I think doing so will be good for me and for my submission. As he says i am a willing student and he is my very willing Master!

Photo obtained from here