Day Out – Part 2

i am a very lucky slut in that my Master tolerates my moodiness. So an hour after part 1, i was stripped to my basque, suspenders and heeled boots, lying on my back on a large (and might i say lovely) table. What do you call a large table which sits just a few inches high, like that, in the middle of the living room (coffee, occasional?) He was leaned over me, His cock in my mouth, His fingers caressing my pussy. Already i was putty in His hands, my previous irritations long gone. I took his cock in my mouth, i sucked and licked, i took him as deep as i could and then sucked and licked some more. i think, and things are a little hazy, i asked to cum and was granted that amazing experience. He is good like that. He attends to my needs and i know that in doing so, it turns Him on.

He made us tea (we had both had quite long journey’s to meet) and then said we should repair upstairs (He is old fashioned like that). Sensibly, i drank most of my tea before we got that far.

He cuffed me, applied nipple clamps and had me crouch on the bed, legs wide. i was beyond wet. Still in my post orgasmic state i was ready for what was to come next. Not only did He spank me with his hand and the lead to my collar he also from somewhere produced a belt. Now that belt hurt, but pain and i are developing a new kind of relationship. It made me wetter than wet and as he said ‘pliable’. Who doesn’t want to be pliable for their Master?

i asked him about this last night. To begin with pain didn’t feature. He wasn’t keen on inflicting it and i wasn’t keen on receiving it. But it turns out the two are linked. As i discovered that receiving pain turns me on, he finds that giving me pain turns him on. This is a really good thing and a self fulfilling prophesy!

His tongue licked me. i was almost wild with desire as it flicked around my clit. Then his tongue was replaced with his fingers, pinching me, giving me pain and pleasure at the same time. My clamped nipples tingled and burned, my pussy was beyond wet. His tongue moved to my ass hole, his fingers still on my clit.  i think around that time i asked for and was given another orgasm (as i say it is hazy).

Then at last he said “what is Master going to do now?”
“You are going to fuck my arse Sir”

There is something about anal sex which i cannot fully describe. He is the only man to have ever gone there. It is a kind of forbidden place and it feels just so special. He claims me. i submit. And so it was. He loves that He is the only person to have ever have fucked me there and the feeling is mutual.

This was a day out made in heaven!

Day Out – Part 1

The weather had turned pretty chilly, but she was well wrapped up against the cold wind in her new coat with its faux fur collar. She was also wearing a grey wool jumper, black jeans and boots. As she sat on the train for the first part of her journey, reading  a book on her kindle, she felt comfortable, warm but also a little apprehensive. She was very much looking forward to seeing Him, but at the same time she was anxious that she was meeting Him on a weekend day and that to do this she needed to create an untrue story for the person at home.

Her mood took a further dive as she locked herself in a cubicle in the ladies toilets at the large mainline station. It was too cold to take off her coat, so having removed her boots and jeans, she put on her stockings (attached to the basque she was already wearing under her jumper), put on a short skirt and high heeled boots. Observing herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, she noted that she looked good, but was pretty much the only person not to be wearing either trousers or opaque / woolly tights with their skirt. Most people were wearing flat shoes or boots rather than heels and to be honest she would have preferred that too. Putting those thoughts to one side she headed for the underground.

It was a short journey to the meeting place, just 3 stops on the tube and then they were together. Instead of being happy, pleased to see him, she was grumpy. He said he understood why she felt as she did, but that it would be worth it. She grudgingly admitted that this might be the case.

There was one more train journey to take to their destination. The carriage was almost empty, only 3 or 4 other passengers, perhaps 2 of them sitting reasonably close to them. He sat opposite her, and after a short time, instructed her to open her legs. She did as instructed and he ran his hand up her stocking leg and up to her pussy. He told her she was very wet. For some reason this irritated her. She didn’t want to be wet when she was irritated in this way. He just smiled and worked her clit a little.

The first signs of a defrosting of her mood emerged and as he took his hand away and instructed her to touch herself, then as He stroked her some more, she began to actually look forward to what was to come (or cum).

30 Days of Submission – Day 28

Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticised for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?

In the words of Edith Piaf: je regrette rien. This has been a year of learning about submission and so far i haven’t felt let down in any way, shape or form. i am not sure who is going to criticise me and even if they did, i think i am old enough and ugly enough to cope. Since this a non answer to a non question, perhaps i should move on to something else!

i am to go to work in crotchless red knickers tomorrow, in November. i am to make myself cum while at work and tell him about it when i see him on Saturday. On Saturday i am to wear the same crotchless knickers. He thinks that will be a big turn on, having me turn up in knickers that i have already cum in. Of course, since the knickers are crotchless, and barely cover anything they are unlikely to be too dirty even after all that wear. Of course you understand this is not my normal behaviour, i generally change  my underwear daily (when of course i am wearing it). 

i was going to arrive to meet Sir in jeans on Saturday (i need to leave the house and return as i normally would to go shopping with a girlfriend). But of course joolz has quite a big mouth when she gets excited and somewhere during our conversation last night i agreed to arrive to meet him in crotchless red knickers (see above), stockings and suspenders, my newly purchased black suede boots and my new coat (not sure what else will be worn underneath yet, but not much i think. i am thinking that it is a good thing that the train station i arrive at in the capital City has recently been renovated. i am hoping this means that the ladies toilets are suitably clean, tidy and warm! 

Still if a girl wants to be clamped and spanked she needs to make some sacrifices. Who wouldn’t dress like a slut, be humiliated and submit to get what she needs. Who could ever regret submission under these circumstances? Not me that’s for sure! 

100th Blog post and 30 days of submission Day 27

I have been having one of those weekends where you potter around doing a bit of this and that. Some shopping, some housework, some surfing and some Bond. Yes Bond. On Friday we went to see Skyfall along with dinner out. The film was great and dinner was fine. I won’t say anything about the film since people will be going to see it at different times, but I liked it. It was a good start to a pottering kind of weekend.  

Today, we went out to a local out of town shopping kind of place to get the coat I want. I tried it on in one size too small and one size too big. I like the coat but neither sizes were quite right, so I ordered it online once we got home. Now, as I write this, hubby alternates between more Bond (there is a whole Sky channel devoted just to James Bond films) and football (the soccer kind) and his naughty kinky wife has been surfing the internet for suitable photos for her blog post 100. In my defense, I did the ironing first. 

So that’s the vanilla, family kind of life out of the way and here is the kinky side. I was thinking that in combining this momentous blog (number 100) with a day of submission, a picture like this would be appropriate.

This is the kind of position Sir likes me in, and this is how he likes me dressed. Many of our fantasies involve me wearing stockings and suspenders with some very high heels under whatever clothes i have on for the scene. Over the time it has taken to post 100 times here, i have come to enjoy this more and more. He has helped to nurture my submission, and to enjoy it. i in turn embrace it more and more.

So to Day 27 of 30 Days of Submission. This is highly appropriate:

Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

We have explored many fantasies together. Some have been fulfilled and some are still there to be achieved. I would like to be bound more like this:

I would definitely like to spend more time restrained, perhaps blindfolded and gagged. I would like to explore how the senses can be made to respond when you are unable to see or speak and are restrained. To have Him make me keep my legs open for him, to have Him use me while i am unable to prevent him doing what he wants to me, appeals greatly. 

I definitely would like to explore humiliation some more. I have a love / hate relationship with being made to dress in a provocative way while out in public. To touch and be touched in places where we might be discovered. But I would definitely like to be pushed to do much more of that.

I think what I am saying is there are more extremes of what we have done so far to be explored before I tackle new fantasies. But rest assured there will be more of those to think up too!

Photos from the mind circus 

The Pleasure of Submission

i was just looking thorough my stats while wondering what to write about and how to start, when i noticed that on 3 occasions this week the words ‘pleasure of submission’ were used to bring people here. At the same time I have been reading a variety of postings by fellow bloggers. About the challenges of maintaining these relationships, about the reality of being a submissive, but also about some of the wonderful and very hot sex that goes with it. i myself am challenged with considering seeing Sir on a day of the week usually reserved for me, for hubby and for family and what that means for me. But of course it is the draw of the pleasure of submission that makes me know that i will make the time, think of a way to make it happen.

Of all of the aspects of this whole TTWD ‘thing’ it is the submission that has brought me the most pleasure. It is submitting to Him that makes me who i feel i am now in comparison to who i was in say April or May this year. On the outside, in my daily life of course i am no different, no more or less submissive. The only way i am different is how i feel inside. How i feel about me and about the things we do together. i take pleasure in some of the symbols of submission that i go through; as i have said before, i prepare my body, i arrive and kneel, i suck his cock, he puts on my collar. But at that point, often after a long fraught journey along some of the trickier roads in the UK, i struggle to submit my mind to him. i am often not very good at giving him head at that point. For quite a while i thought it was because my mouth may be dry, but even when i have been drinking water during the journey, i struggle. It occurs to me that the real reason is partly because we are a little on the eager side and partly because i am not yet fully in the submissive frame of mind that i need to get into. But during the course of the day / evening / night together, i am able to submit to him more and more, not just in a sexual way but emotionally and with that comes pleasure not just of sexual arousal but of submission.

A few evenings ago we were discussing the things we most like doing together. He told me his favorite position to have me in is on my hands and knees, legs wide apart, bottom in the air, as he considers this my most submissive pose. When i am in this position i am unable to do very much, though can touch myself if he instructs me. He in turn can access any part of me he wishes. He can apply clamps to my nipples or clit, he can push his cock into my mouth, my cunt or my arse, whichever he chooses. For me, i also like that position as when he chooses where to push his cock (usually either of the latter two) i know that i will be penetrated deeply and that i will enjoy the experience. But also i know i will experience the pleasure of submission whether or not i am allowed an orgasm at that time.

So when i worry that this relationship is about sex and lust alone, i remember that even if we didn’t eat together, chat together, laugh together and watch films (some of which due to an error of digital recording might finish before they should), there is still the pleasure of submission. For me i think that is what this whole thing is about.

Photo from All Fours

Yes or No

I am rather late to this, having seen it on Aisha, PK, Sin, and Fondles’ blog. Decided to give it a go.

There are only two rules: You must answer yes or no. You may not explain unless someone asks. 

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? Yes
Slept with your best friend? No
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? Yes
Slept with a member of the same sex? No
Seen someone die? Yes
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? No
Worn your partners unmentionables?No
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? No
Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? No
Pole danced or done a striptease? No
Loved someone you shouldn’t? Yes
Sang karaoke?Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
Caught someone having sex? No
Kissed a perfect stranger?Yes
Shaved your partner? No
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken?Yes
Mooned/flashed someone?Yes
Do you sleep naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? No
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day?Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day?Yes
Shot a gun? No
Gone outside naked? Yes

Thinking ahead

So far autumn has been pretty ok. A bit on the wet side, but then that has been this year all over, but reasonably mild. By the weekend though we are told we can expect some colder weather, with a bit of wind chill thrown in. i really need a new coat for winter and today, the day before payday, while out getting some lunch, i have seen a new coat i think i might buy for winter. As usual i was considering the usual things – will it be warm enough, the right colour, will it suit me? Today though i was wondering how it will look if i were to wear it with just bra (or perhaps a corset), stockings and suspenders underneath. Along with, perhaps a nice pair of long boots. What on earth has come over me? i may well make my purchase at the weekend, depending on how it looks on.

i think to be realistic it is going to be quite difficult to get together with Sir very frequently over the winter  months. His working hours are longer, the days themselves are shorter (well they are all the same length but daylight will be less), and that journey is no fun in the dark. i am running out of holiday that i can take, plus with changes ahead at work, i will need to be around as much as possible to stand the best possible change of still being in a job by April. Plus with the NHS changes, there will be less and less reason for me to ever have a day, much less a night away from home. i know opportunities will come up, but we have to be realistic.

Maybe we can chat on the phone and skype (not the same but sometimes you have to do these things). But i know this will mean it is difficult to feel quite so submissive as i can when we are together. So i am seeking a bit of advice here, from those of you who do more of this whole long distance stuff, or who have more experience. What can we do to keep things going through the long winter months? i am sure i will get the coat and i am sure i will wear it for him, but opportunities will be far and few between. Your thoughts are very welcome.

30 Days of Submission – Day 26

What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?

i think that probably i was looking for someone a bit different from the man with whom i live. There are certain aspects of the life i have here that i wouldn’t wish to replicate. Plus truth be known, i was a woman of a certain age looking for fun. In my opinion i have been pretty successful. i wanted my dominant to be well dominant. i wanted him to tell, not ask and essentially that is what i get. i wanted him to help me to push the boundaries and that is what i got. 

The interesting thing though is that i didn’t set out for an actual relationship, i was just looking for some fun online. But once we had chatted online and we moved onto the phone calls and once during those phone calls i did the things he instructed and loved it, i wanted more. Much more.

i wanted more sex, i wanted to try sex in ways i had never tried before, i wanted to submit. i wanted to dress for him, to parade myself for him, i wanted the humiliation and the excitement. i didn’t know i wanted to be restrained, to be spanked, clamped. But i do.

What i also got was a fun, intelligent man. Someone to have a serious conversation with, to watch a film with, to discuss books with, even to visit a museum with! I also got a man who cooks a mean steak and who can be relied on to finish off the pudding i can’t and shouldn’t eat. 

i have learned not to prejudge what you want, but to expect the unexpected and to enjoy the moment. Hoping for some of those moments soon!

And on a lighter note……..

Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge 13

This is the second Blog Hop Challenge i have taken part in. Go over to Submissive guide on 25th of the month to see who else has taken up LunaKM’s challenge. This month’s is as follows:

Do you have a safeword? When was the last time you used it? Are you afraid to say your safeword for fear of appearing weak? What are you indicators that a scene has gone too far and you need to safeword?

I have a safeword. On that first night in the hotel, where i had no safe call organsied, where no one knew where i was or who i was with, Sir gave me a safeword. I can’t decide if i was foolish, naive or just trusting of my instincts that night. Others may consider me plain stupid, but though i was nervous in lots of ways i didn’t believe myself to be in any kind of mortal danger. On that first night, i played the the safeword over and over in my mind but never came even close to using it. The fact that i could was enough. Since then, once or twice i have said the word in my mind but i have never needed to say it out loud.

The limits i thought i had at the beginning have been stretched and pushed. i never really thought i would be keen on pain of any kind, but it turns out that actually i am. At the time of the pain i might not think i am enjoying it, but my body tells me otherwise. What is more it definitely tells Him. He touches me on my pussy after he has been spanking me with his hand or with say the lead to my collar and he discovers that i am very wet. I didn’t know that i would love to have my nipples or clit clamped but i do. I didn’t know that i would love anal sex but i do. Thinking of anal, actually it is sometimes quite painful to begin with. I have often i have asked Him to slow down and once or twice to stop. But i have not needed to safeword. This is because of the trust and understanding between us.

i trust Him to keep me safe, to listen to my responses to his touch and actions and in turn i open myself up to him. i know i can safeword, but to be honest, right now i see no time when i am going to need to. i don’t fear that using my safeword would make me seem weak, since i don’t fear appearing weak to Him. i know i have struck lucky in finding Master as my first (and as far as i see right now only Dominant) but i can trust Him and that is all that i need to worry about right now.

30 Days of Submission – Days 24 and 25

When i started this whole 30 days of submission thing, i had an idea that i would get it all done and dusted in a month. I haven’t even come close to doing that, but since i am now up to day 24, i guess i am not doing too badly. Here are today’s offerings:

What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?

As others have said, this question is phrased in an odd way since it is not really clear that specific emotions allow access to submission. Surely it is something that you are or not. Having said that, i do try to get into a good ‘mental space’ to allow me to give myself completely to my Master. I have spoken before about preparing my body (shaving etc), applying makeup that i might not usually wear (e.g. red lipstick), stockings, heels, sexy underwear. These things help but are not essential since as soon as i am required to kneel or to get on all fours, or if he puts on my collar or starts to spank me, i am there. 

Sir has commented that sometimes i ‘get in quite deep’, and yes i do slip into what some might identify as subspace (i am no expert on this) and become quite emotional. This makes me feel very submissive and i would at that point do most things. It made a nice change this week when i saw Him, not to actually do that but to in effect keep my emotions (or wits) about me. submission can be emotionally draining and when you are physically tired as i was this week, that is not always what you need. 

Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

The most obvious item would be the collar. When i look at myself in the mirror while i am wearing it i see a submissive woman looking back at me. It is a real object, but also a symbol. i would like to be able  to wear something more of the time that signified to us both that i am his submissive and  maybe that is something we will do in the future. 

We don’t have specific rituals, but there are things we do more often than not. kneeling, wearing the collar, sucking his cock. The order in which we do things, the things we do, the way we do them, these are all down to his preference. For once in my life, i don’t have to decide. The choices are not mine. I place myself in his hands and i submit. That is the ritual and that’s the bit i love so much.