Reclaimed

The title of this post is intended to describe the way that two elements of this girl’s life have been brought back into line. The first is her blog and the second is the Master slave relationship that she enjoys.

This blog

Since the holiday in Spain over Christmas, I have slightly lost the momentum and focus for this place. Creative juices have not really been flowing,  and posts have become superficial and short. Partly because there hasn’t felt like much going on that has been worthy of a deeper discussion and also because the blogging mojo which we all need to write has been absent. So, despite the fact that I have posted here regularly over the past few months, much of the content has been through participation in projects and memes. I have really enjoyed February photofest, though I have been less creative this year than last and have struggled with motivation. Luckily I had a few pictures that I hadn’t shared before plus a Master who took a few more. However I couldn’t quite find the energy and  will power to quite see it to the end and last Sunday’s photo was my last. During the intervening days I have been thinking about my blog, its purpose and how I plan to use it in the future.

It feels like time to draw a line and to refocus on what this place is about – it is somewhere I can share my inner most thoughts and where I can discuss aspects of my life and the journey Master and his slave travel. That isn’t to say that I won’t participate in more projects and memes, it just means I have realised it is time to reclaim my blog for the purpose I intended it. Even when there is little going on in our lives there is always something happening in my head that requires reflection and analysis. I also know that Master likes me to write some of that here, since it will often be about things we don’t easily and readily discuss in real life. So, I make no apologies for abandoning my participation in February Photofest and am proud of the photos I did post. Now on with the blog.

Reclaiming His slave

Despite being a middle aged woman, she is always His slave. She wears His collar 24 hours a day and can always feel it around her neck and she always remembers its purpose, as a symbol of the relationship, His ownership of her and the power He has and exerts over her. Other than this symbol, there is often nothing for anyone to see that sets this relationship out as different from any other. But the people in this relationship know that there are fundamental differences, and that these need to be worked on to be maintained. Regular life means work, it means spending time with family and friends and it means doing things together. It means eating and sleeping and it means having sex. The sex always has overtones of M/s but often they are subtle.

Sometimes like with this blog, there is a need to review a relationship and to reassert its meaning to those within it. For us that reclamation happened last night and this morning. That is not to say that there has been anything wrong, but just that looking back now, it was something that needed to happen.

Sex which happens late at night, and which is heavily laden with lust is a little different from sex in the morning when rested, sober and is almost planned. Much of the time our sex falls into the latter type, this time we had both. However, it wasn’t just about the sex, but about the acknowledgement of positions as Master and slave. A declaration of what being Master’s slave means to both, and actions which demonstrate that. Last night this slave was used for Master’s pleasure, she clearly stated her understanding of the fact she is there to be taken and used and that she is His pleasure bitch. This slave also reaffirmed that she has no limits, save those that Master decides upon. The sex was hot, but there was more to the session than hot sex. Drink had been involved too, so this morning, in the sober light of day, events and their meanings were restated and then there was more hot sex.

One of the most important aspects of this Master / slave dynamic is the use of this girl’s orgasms as a way of controlling events. He can make her cum on demand and He can also prevent her from coming until He is ready. Another is the use of names – that she is the slut or cunt and that He is the Master and the Lord.

The key thing about the past 24 hours is that this girl can say that Master has reclaimed His girl and that they have both reaffirmed their clear commitment to the dynamic that they have and enjoy.

The other good thing is that there is lots more to write about in the reclaimed blog!

Not a travel blog

Just in case anyone was worried that MPB is turning into a travel blog, this post will hopefully reassure that there is definitely more to it. That said, we have settled into such domestic and festive bliss that kink is pretty low key. Not that I am complaining since there is always the knowledge that I am the slave and He the Master; that is an ever present fact.

Last night when we returned from dinner and drinks, Master informed me that I had been bratty – probably true – and tried the new collar, a padded posture collar on me for size. Then told me to wear it for a while. I really love the feel of the leather and it’s width. There is no way you can forget you are wearing it since it is difficult to move your head up and down. I was right, it was the one I tried at Sexpo recently, and I look forward to being made to wear it again soon (is that a bratty attitude in itself?)

This morning Master decided that He needed to use His cunt. Increasingly that is His name for me during sex. It is amazing how easy it is to slip into that role, as His cock plunges in for the first time. I say role, but is it? Or is that the new reality, it is hard to tell. This morning He teased my clit with His cock and then used His cock as a means to masturbate me, telling me that He wanted to feel the spasms of His cunt as she came. Being told that was almost enough to bring me to an immediate orgasm, but of course He started his count down, from 10 this time and it helped to settle me down for at least the first 5. As His cock rubbed against me and I told Him that I was His cunt I knew that as soon as He reached 1 I would explode as requested. The power that He has over this girl, this cunt, this slave is immense. This is the reality of life, it really isn’t just a role I play. He controls me and my orgasms. But much more, He controls my life in a way I love.

Here, away from everyone, together 24 hours a day, there is very little I need to concern myself with. I am loving that I have no need to decide anything for myself, and that I am able to be more of the slave I want and need to be. Outside interference is at a minimum and while of course that won’t last for ever, the memories certainly will.

For the first time in a while I am wearing a plug and as usual that is helping to keep me in a place of arousal even as I sit here typing and He sits opposite me reading stuff on his own tablet. Always ready for Him and whatever He requires from me.

To be wanted, needed and to be used. What more can a slave desire?

When humiliating and degrading terms just turn you on

The word ‘cunt’ is quite taboo within society. It is indeed one of the few words that will cause a TV company in the UK to use their ‘bleeper’ even after the watershed. Cunt was a word that really didn’t feature in my vocabulary until the last couple of years. If anyone had told me a couple of years ago that I would easily and willingly be referring to myself as Master’s cunt, or this cunt then I would have laughed in their face.

I have been through a massive learning process about myself, one I am only beginning to recognise. Firstly it was about learning to refer to myself in the third person as this girl. To begin with the fact that Master referred to me at all times in that way was difficult to get used to. Using that terminology when referring to myself was even more troublesome, it isn’t hard to think and write ‘this girl’ but saying it out loud in normal conversation is more challenging. But over the months I have gradually found that it can become the norm when the other person in your relationship always uses those terms. But using words that you once considered derogatory to describe yourself take some getting used to.

To begin with, once in a sex and orgasm induced place it felt ok to call myself a slut, or a bitch, or even a cunt. But generally it required Master to lead the conversation, to have me repeat who I was to him. Just recently that seems to have changed.

I feel that I am beginning to embrace my place in our relationship. I am his slave, his property. What is more, I am that slut – my behaviour with him is slutty and what is more I love being that slut. But I am not just his slut, actually I recognise that my body is his and I am his bitch. Just this morning during sex, my animal instinct took over and it was clear to us both that in that moment I was his bitch – not only did I perform in that way, but I told him without prompting that I was his bitch.

Over the last few weeks it seems too that I have begun to embrace the cunt in me. I am always ready for him, to be touched but also to be fucked. The holes that live within me but belong to me are his. I am his cunt, whether it be the mouth cunt, cunt cunt or arse cunt. That is who I am and I am proud of that fact.

This journey has been thrilling and exciting, but at times difficult. I doubt that I will ever stop learning how to be Master’s slave, but I am clear that the place I am now is as His cunt. What is more, terms that used to feel humiliating are now the norm. They are not just words they are the reality of this cunt, this slave. What is more, they turn her on.

This feels like a vicious cycle of some kind!