Reclaimed

It had been perhaps 2 weeks since my last orgasm. There hadn’t been much in the opportunity or indeed desire during our week apart. For one, it was too hot in a bedroom where the air conditioning wasn’t used. A preference of the other occupant. For another I didn’t feel the need and for another my orgasms really don’t belong to me. 

His fingers explored my damp folds and he leaned down to inspect his property. As he placed his mouth over my clit I felt my excitement build and my cunt grow wetter. I took his hard cock in my hand and worked it a little. His tongue still moving over my piercing, he slipped a finger into my vagina. I was moist but a little tight after the abstinence, so he moved his finger in and out, then inserted another. Suddenly the need to orgasm was at the forefront of my mind; an urgent need. Thankfully the countdown was only 5, else I might not have been able to hold back. This was a clitoral orgasm of the finest order.

As he pushed his cock inside me, a feeling of relief overwhelmed. Master is reclaiming his slave, he told me and that is how it felt. He told me to cum again, and this time I felt a gush from inside my cunt and I began to float. He asked me who I was, the answer flowed easily from my lips  – “this girl is Master’s slave”.

Pulling away he instructed me to mount him, so I got off the bed while he rolled onto his back. I climbed aboard and his cock slid into my now wide and slick hole. I tightened my hips and moved up and down on his throbbing dick as he rubbed my clit. More orgasms flowed from me and he pulled me forward arching his hips from underneath. my inner slut was now in full force and I became an orgasm producing machine. Spent, I lay beside him and he took me one last time, releasing his seed into my throbbing body.

I had been reclaimed.

Black bra

This afternoon, given the cool and wet weather we decided to sort out some of my clothes. Since I moved in with Master a month ago, the weather has generally been pretty warm and dry. Over the past week there has been a gradual deterioration until today it is dull, cool and very wet. With the change in seasons waiting around the corner there was a need to unpack more clothes. Plus a couple of trips away in the next few weeks mean that I will need to free up some luggage. 

The first bag I unpacked contained underwear. As I sorted through the bras, Master picked out this lovely black number. He was interested to understand when I bought it, and if I had ever worn it, since it is padded. To be honest, it fits him better than me. And to answer his questions, I don’t know and probably never. 

He looks amazing and what’s more he loved wearing it and put his shirt back on, over the top. Next we found a couple of leather bras Master bought me, but which I have rarely worn. Of course I slipped into one of them and also the fetching collar you can see me wearing below.

Me wearing a leather bra and collar with the words bitch.

That’s pretty much all the unpacking we did today, since one thing led to another and we retired to bed. I am not sure that some of the other unpacking we still need to do will be quite so much fun, but you never know.

Sinful Sunday

This slave’s tail

It has been a very long time since this slave felt that she had provided service in the way her Master originally expected.

She isn’t so much disobedient or even unruly (no matter what Master would tell you). But it is about circumstance, timing and yes, laziness, on both sides. But this girl can feel the end of that time in her life coming to an end.

This weekend has been about getting ready for this slave’s future. There will be many more weekends like this until our move is complete. Time when we will be clearing out rubbish, putting things in bags and packing up the things that will be going to Master’s house.

Meanwhile, this weekend, there has been sex, raw passionate sex. And there has been submission time for this this girl naked and open for her Master to take. Clothed without underwear allowing him to have access at any time. A reawakening, a realisation of what might have previously been denied and hidden. His for the taking.

Many months ago, Master bought his girl a tail. She had coveted a bushy tail after seeing one at one of the sexy markets, London Alternative or Birmingham Bizarre Bizarre. One day when the slave arrived at his place, he presented to her. This would be a way for her to show her slutty side and to be his bitch. But, for one reason or another though, probably we were busy and there wasn’t time and it didn’t get used.

On Sunday Master firmly fucked his girl in the ass. The second time in recent weeks as our sex life has taken on new life. The plan was to use the tail for Sinful Sunday, but actually that might have been a little painful. And for one reason and another we didn’t post on Sinful Sunday this week.

On Monday though, the slave finally wore the tail. Still a little sore, inserting the butt plus was a bit of a challenge. But the effect was wonderful, and it won’t be long before that tail comes out again. Maybe she may even wear it out at an event. Till then, here is a photo taken by Master yesterday.

Blogging A-Z 2018: H

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

H is for His

He cals her girl. This girl; His girl
He is her Master, her Lord and she His slave
She is His slut, His cum puppy. He controls her orgasms, they belong to Him; His.

He is her owner and she His property
People may find this difficult to understand but for her this is fact. She is His to love, to hold and to control.

Her body is pierced for His pleasure; nipples and clitoris. Her pleasure is His to have, to hold and to control.
She wears a collar, His collar. This is a sign of her slavery of His ownership, that she is His property.

She is His Bitch, Master’s Pleasing Bitch

 

 

J is for……..

Japanese clover clamp and joolz

There aren’t too many kinky words that begin with J, and to be honest the Japanese in front of clover clamp seems to be a bit of a cop out. Still technically it begins with J so here goes.

Nipple clamps feature much less in our play times now that this girl has her nipples pierced. But she does love the feeling of the way the clamps pinch, especially when they first go on. After a while, and when they are pulled by some sadistic Master they get much more painful. But the pain belies the effect they have on this girl. You see, nipple play of any kind and especially clamping has an amazing effect on this girl’s arousal. She becomes very wet very quickly and she feels that tingling and throbbing down in her groins. Her clit enlarges, even without direct stimulation there too. Master has previously attached a clamp to this girl’s clit and that was fucking very painful, but again very very arousing. Master likes to tease this girl about the relationship that exists between her nipples and her sexual arousal and the fact that he can bring her off by playing and causing pain to her nipples alone. Of course he loves that fact, as does this girl.

joolz is the name that this girl uses online quite a lot. The name was first used by family friends when she was younger and for quite some time her brothers called her this too. Over the years though people reverted to calling her by her given name. Being a little unadventurous and also quite liking the name, she chose it for the name of her first kinky blog, uses it on Fetlife and other places for chat. Indeed when she met both Master and before that S, they first knew her as jolly.

During the course of the first few months together, Master read all of this girl’s blog and continues to read both current and past posts today. After a while, he said that in his opinion this girl was becoming less like the persona she seemed to have created as joolz – sexy and submissive yes, still that. But elements of her behaviour had changed and she was becoming much more the obedient slave that she (mostly) is today. So, she became MPB – Master’s pleasing bitch and of course she already has become this girl. When a decision was made to change over blogs joolz was left behind and julie emerged  – julie who is Master’s pleasing bitch.

500

This is post 500 of MPB and its predecessor World of Joolz. When I started writing in April 2012, I could never have envisaged the changes that would have occured in my life, or indeed that I would still be writing nearly 3 and a half years later. But here I am, no longer a bored housewife with a full time job, son at university and husband who knew nothing of my needs as a woman. At that time, I was just discovering that I was submissive. I was more than a little bit vulnerable to some of the men I was encountering online. But I did have the sense not to entirely fall for all of their charms. My journey as a submissive has had a profound effect on my life, and having this place to journal that progress has been valuable. Reading back to the beginning today, it feels like I was a different woman back then. Someone looking for more than she had experienced before, partly that was about sex but also something deep within her to be released.

Fast forward to now and while there are loose ends to tie, I am free of many of the previous burdens I felt at the time were weighing me down. I have learned to leave behind some of the things that threatened to overcome me. The burden of a thirty year relationship, one that I was unfulfilled by. The pressures of juggling a full time job with family responsibilities. The need to be everything to everyone. The need to serve, but without knowing who or what I needed to provide that service to.

Master and I seem to be settled in our life together. The collar gives a stability that I didn’t really know I needed. Unlike a wedding ring, it doesn’t bind us to conform to the stereotypical norms of most couples. We continue to live separately, while our lives are completely intertwined. I am the slave He wants and needs and it is the power that He has over me when He sees, hears and feels my submission that makes Him the Dominant that He is. Yesterday afternoon as I knelt, naked at His feet, wearing only my collar and cuff, head in between His legs, sucking His cock, I felt as happy as it is possible to feel. There is a need in me that he is able to satisfy, that is to worship and serve Him as my Dominant. Kneeling before Him, feeling His hands on the body that He owns, pinching, squeezing but also gently caressing gives me a sexual desire that I previously only read about in books.

This blog has chronicled some incredible highs over its lifespan, but also some real lows – the difficulties of ending a long marriage, the pain of rejection and realisation that the man I thought I might love didn’t return those feelings, and the death of my father. There will of course be more difficulties to come, but I have faith that there are many many more good times to come and to be recorded here on this blog.

So, onwards to the next 500 posts – I have been a poor blogger recently, but will try to change that and post daily till the end of the month. A challenge to myself!!

Nakedness

This girl has been losing weight, not as quickly as she would like, but slowly and surely. There have been times that she hasn’t wanted to see herself naked, though of course, she can never hide herself from Master. He has begun to recognise that she is serious about this and is encouraging the positive behaviours that will help (i.e. He is taking this girl to places where choices will be easier and reminding her of the rules relating to making Him pleased and proud of her) which is generally enough.

Today, this girl wore just two items of clothing – some cotton trousers and a top. Tonight after dinner, which Master had cooked, she stripped off, without being asked, for His pleasure.

For the first time in months this girl feels happy sitting naked as she types this. She feels happy to present herself as Master, her Lord’s slut and slave (not that she isn’t always pleased to be His slave). But tonight at last, she feels proud. Her reward has been several orgasms. Plus His pleasure in touching His property, in objectifying her and in taking the orgasms that He owns.

On days like this, a slave can wonder why it is that she doesn’t spend more of her time naked for His pleasure. Of course, life tends to get in the way. But since she is here to serve, she is here to be the person He wants and needs; and naked is what He wants.

A naked girl sits beside her Master right now. While He is fully clothed.

That is the natural order of life for this slave.

This girl’s submission

A lot is being written about submission at the moment, much of it in the context of the whole 50 Shades of Grey hype. It has been good to see articles in newspapers and magazines written by those who live this lifestyle themselves. It has also led to a number of bloggers writing on the topic themselves.

For this girl, deciding to write about her submission is less about any outside influences, although they have been thought provoking. Actually this is about something within, about a sense that this girl’s submission is developing further. This is partly because Master is pushing this girl to explore her limits, but also that she wants to do so.
To begin with submission felt like a desire, a want. Something to try. It was possible to switch it on and off. To be Master’s girl when they were together, and then to get on with real life. Pretty soon though this girl realised that it wasn’t so easy to put it out of her mind. Over time it has become a need.
Part of this is structured through the contract. Within it, this girl needs to consider Master’s view on the things she does. She needs at all times to wonder whether He would be happy with what she is saying or doing. To consider whether He would be proud of her actions and behaviours. This has at times caused this girl to act differently than she would previously. It also gives her cause to reflect on her actions afterwards.
Whenever Master says good bye to this girl, whether in person or say on Skype (which is how they communicate during the working week), He tells this girl to be good. She often laughs this off, but actually it is important. It is a reminder. He is not particularly hot on punishment, for that this girl is glad and grateful. But this doesn’t mean she wilfully misbehaves anyway.
Then there is the way in which we address each other. He is Master and that is what this girl calls Him. Sometimes she almost refers to Him as Master to others; family members or colleagues. In her own head she thinks of Him as Master, because that is who and what He is. Master always refers to this girl as girl. She is pretty sure that is the way He thinks of her, as His girl. During play or sex, this girl often calls Him Lord. He loves her to refer to Him in this way. There was a time when this girl laughed in the face of such a title, but not any more. In this relationship, this girl needs to consider the respect with which she treats her Master. Gradually He is also becoming her Daddy, as He guides her and teaches her the ways of His world. To Him this girl is a bitch or a slut. She loves to be called these names and He loves it when she refers to herself in this way.

For much of the time we have been together, this relationship has been conducted in private. First in play and in the bedroom and then within the confines of our homes. This doesn’t mean that Master hasn’t always touched His girl – a feel of her bottom or nipple for example – while they are out in public. This girl is required to dress without underwear when we are together, unless she seeks permission. Master prefers access to this girl’s body at all times, though He is relaxed about her wearing trousers etc during winter. The feel of His hand on this girl’s bare bottom as we walk along together helps to remind her of her submission, what is more, she finds it arousing and she loves Him to turn her on in this way.

Now though we are branching out, we have started to attend a local munch regularly and this girl has asked Master to consider a play party for them to attend soon. When it happens, it will be her first time playing in public in front of others and also to watch other people. This girl feels that it will be an important step for her, but probably something she needs to do.

This girl’s submission is increasingly about the power that Master has taken from her and which He exerts over her. It is an ever present aspect of their relationship together. For Master, the power exchange is what arouses Him, indeed it is at the core of who He is. He doesn’t look for, nor get any kind of doormat, but we both know who is in charge in this relationship. For the first time in her life, this girl is able to go through whole days of her life without making much in the way of a decision.

This is highly liberating for someone who thought she was a control freak. Often in restaurants these days, this girl barely glances at the menu, and never bothers to look at the wine list since she never chooses the wine anyway. That power exchange though is not always an overt thing, something that can be seen by others, it is implicit, at the centre of who we are, an ever present undercurrent to our everyday life.

Master’s kinks are increasingly becoming this girl’s kinks. Luckily, she is willing to try most things once (at least), she trusts that He will keep her safe and so puts herself into His safe hands. So when she dresses for His pleasure, when she lies down in the playroom and He experiments with the new attachments on His violent wand, when she pisses on Him or he on Her the pleasure He feels becomes hers. This girl is there for Him, to be used yes, but also to reap the benefits and to enjoy her submission.

There are outward signs of ownership; the piercings and the bracelet. In the future there will very likely be a tattoo of some kind and hopefully a collar. He would like a slave with very short hair, maybe shaved, He may not get that from this girl (but never say never).

But really this girl’s submission is not about those things. This submissive craves Master’s Dominance and He her submission. Who knows where all of this is going to lead? Maybe it is about the journey though, not the ultimate destination.

Masturbation

Sometimes inspiration comes out of the blue. I am really enjoying February Photofest, but I put myself in the mix and got involved (as is my way) without thinking things through. Planning some kink related photos for your blog for a week is pretty easy, especially when some have already been taken in the recent past. But continuing for 28 days is a challenge. The added challenge is that this is not a photo blog, it is about me and my submissive journey and about my relationship with my Master.

Today’s photo – my 17th – is one I took of myself in May last year when Master was away in the USA. It was taken on my camera, using the timer rather than using the mobile. I think this is something I need to think about for the remaining 11 days of this challenge.

hub sub in Phx commented on my last post and led me to his most recent entry about masturbation within relationships. My comment there was about my current relationship, but that has led me to think about what went before.

It was pretty usual for hubby and I to masturbate. But we never did so in front of each other.

When I look back I can see that things were pretty sad. I generally shied away from contact with him, sex was not fulfilling for either of us. He really never worked out what I needed and anyway I am not sure that was the point for him. While he wanted us both to enjoy sex, he wanted to cum and do it quickly, sex wasn’t about mutual enjoyment especially as he really didn’t know how to make me cum. This meant there was little in the way of foreplay and often the whole thing could last as long as an advert break on TV.

Since neither of us were satisfied, we both masturbated, just not with or near each other. I was rarely satisfied, no matter how often I made my self cum and I suspect it was the same for him.

Things are different in this relationship. I am sure Master masturbates when I am not there, though perhaps not really often (I am sure He will correct me if I am wrong),  I do not.  I don’t think I have anything to worry about even if He masturbated a lot, since our sex life is good.

Masturbation is allowed, but I should ask permission to cum (this can be done retrospectively) since my orgasms belong to Him not to me. But I really don’t feel the need.

I have learned the joy of mutual masturbation and of watching each other.

Each relationship is different but I am pretty sure, if you feel the need to masturbate frequently, without the other person present, when married or in a serious relationship (whether you actually do so or not), then something is wrong.

So to the photo – girl masturbating over a mirror for Her Master who was 6000 miles away at the time.