I do love to keep up with the various memes, but with the added pressure of February Photofest I am struggling this week. So, this is going to be a bit briefer than usual. Food 4 Thought Friday is about relationships.
Casual sex, dating, friends with benefits, hook-up, one night stand, fuck-buddy; have you ever had one (or more) of these arrangements? What is the difference?
I am not the most experienced of daters, since I was married to the same man for 30 years. But I have dated without sex (during my marriage), had a hook up with a man that led to a relationship (see below) and then to us being fuck buddies. I guess some people set out to have a specific type of date / arrangement but for me it is an after the fact thing. I only know what it turned out to be once it was done.
What is the most interesting way you ever met a partner?
Back in the 90s people contacted each other by placing an advertisement in the local newspaper. My husband was ‘working away‘ a lot at the time and I was fed up and lonely. I didn’t meet a partner. But I did form a friendship with a local guy for a while. He told me my husband definitely wasn’t ‘working away’ and he was right! He and I never had sex but he was great company.
Have you ever had a hook-up become a relationship? How do you know that it had happened?
My first D/s encounter with S was meant to be a hook up. But we enjoyed ourselves so much it turned into more. That and I was keen and willing to travel. I know now that if I hadn’t, it would have fizzled out much sooner than it did.
How would you tell a potential partner you want a non-monogamous or D/s relationship? If you are already in one, how did it evolve?
I don’t think non-monogamy is for me, since I was in that kind of relationship and it ended badly. The other woman brought out tendencies in me I didn’t like. I don’t really desire another man as such. I think that if we wanted to introduce others it would be for play only. We are already in a D/s relationship so I don’t need to ask for that.
If your relationship is poly, what is its principal dynamic? Do you have a primary? A few fuck buddies? Is everyone equal? Does everyone know?
It isn’t – see above. There wasn’t much time for people to know about the poly relationship as it only lasted a few months. I was the second and didn’t take to it much.
What does your ideal relationship look like? Are you already in it?
I’m happier than I have been for a long time, if ever. So yes, I’m in it.
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
There are many different types of love. Of a parent for a child, a child for a parent, of friends. Then there is the love felt between those physically and emotionally attracted to each other. Falling in love is something that seems to happen at the beginning of a relationship, though it is possible to fall in love more than once. Perhaps when something special happens or one or both parties face a particular challenge. That first flush of love, just as you are getting to know each other is a special time. One of investigation and discovery, a time when the seeds of trust and communication are planted.
To truly love someone you need to have trust in them and to feel that you can be yourself. You need to be able to let your guard slip and to know they will always have your back. Love needs to be unconditional, because we all make mistakes, need to show our vulnerable side.
I truly feel that my cancer diagnosis caused a re-evaluation of our relationship and the love we have for each other. The way Master coped, the emotions he showed and the way he has tried to support and protect me, made me fall in love with him all over again. I have loved him for most of the 5 years we have been together but maybe we aren’t always in love. But, life settled down and things became routine. Right now as we explore the next part of our life together I am sure I am in love with him and love him too.
How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?
Love between two (or more) people in a relationship becomes, over time, business as usual, as it were. Maybe that is the time when you can take each other for granted and bad habits can creep in. Don’t get me wrong, it is cosy, perhaps like an old sweater, but it can also lead to complacency. It is the job of the people in the relationship to make sure that element of surprise remains. Because having been in a long term relationship that turned stale you can never take love for granted.
Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?
You don’t have to love or be in love to have sex, but it certainly adds another layer. For us, being in a power exchange relationship love has helped us understand our own and each others body. We have learned to understand and meet each other’s needs and to make allowances when there are problems. I trust him to care for me and keep me safe, but also to push my perceived limits. Love makes us want to satisfy and please the other in a way that doesn’t happen in a casual relationship.
Where do lust and desire fit into this?
Lust is important in any relationship as it helps keep the spark going. But lust can also be mistaken for love. I am pretty sure that during my relationship with S, I was in lust rather than love. Because while devastated for about 2 weeks the first time he finished with me I pretty soon recovered. The second time, I walked away and found Master. The sex had been amazing but I realised I needed more from a relationship. Thankfully I have found it.
This weeks Food 4 Thought Friday is about taking your clothes off and revealing all. While I have never stripped my clothes off during a game of cards or pole danced in public I am not averse to getting naked.
I am no stranger to getting my clothes off for Master when the time is right. Whether that is on a winters evening following dinner and a bottle of wine or a summer afternoon on holiday. Alcohol is a useful aid to losing all inhibitions, though it isn’t always required. Just a bit of encouragement, perhaps an order or request and sometimes just a whim of my own. He prefers me naked to wearing clothes, including lingerie and I have certainly been known to strip for him and dance around naked. Last summer I even did so in the garden of my former home. Just days before the move, I cared little about the neighbours by that moment.
I’ve written before about my experiences at CMnf events. The first time I was petrified, but within moments realised I was among like minded people. I find the stress of knowing what to wear at a kink event worse than the freedom of being naked. However, I would be careful about where I chose to do it. There is no risk of me randomly stripping off in a public place unless I know it to be appropriate. Even if I had drunk a bottle of wine!
I am pretty sure I will be taking my clothes off in public again, but don’t know when that will be at the moment. There is another CMnf coming up in March, but we have a clash of events, so won’t be going. This puts off the decision about how I manage things now I only have one boob. My worry is about upsetting and offending others, rather than myself. But this change in body image is important. Even getting into the hot tub naked at a club will mean people seeing my body. People may stare and ask questions, which of course is fine.
I would love one day to go to a naturist resort. My apartment in France is not far from Cap D’adge and I would love to visit. I can think of nothing better than being free to wander around naked (though my pale skin may object). Maybe that is a thought for after my breast reconstruction! Meanwhile I’ll stick to being naked in private or exclusive company.
Anytime feels good for sex, so long as you have and allow time for it. We tend to have sex in the mornings, but it depends on the situation. Previous relationships have been a little different.
When I was married
Hubby and I often had sex during the commercial break of a TV programme. I kid you not. He worked long hours and got up early, so tended to fall asleep at bedtime (if not before). His favourite thing was to have sex during the evening once our son was in bed. However this didn’t really rock my boat, especially since there was very little if any foreplay involved.
When I began to stray from the marital bed, my dalliances tended to take place in the afternoon. I had something going with a guy who was actually impotent, but who gave the most amazing orgasms. I used to slip away from work or on a day off and meet him, especially in the summer. Much of it was alfresco and I have orgasmed in some beautiful locations.
With S, lots of our sex was in the daytime. Often I didn’t manage to stay over night with him so we’d spend much of the day in bed. He was a guy who seemed to be able to get it up any time, perhaps I just made him horny. We also had sex outside, including on a picnic table!
Taking the time for sex
Since I got together with Master, most of our sex has taken place in the mornings. This has traditionally been when we have had the most time to just lie there and be. Time to touch and caress and to kiss. Often things start slowly and build. He might have been looking at some porn or lying there soon after waking stroking me. He loves to open my legs gently with caressing strokes and then to go down on me. He says he loves the taste of me and I have to admit I love the way it makes me feel. Since I gave up work we have made much more time for sex, even taking account of my recent illness.
On holiday when the day is hot, we love to retire to bed for a rest. We will probably have had wine at lunch and need to cool down. There is something very arousing about the aroma of a sun warmed body mixed with sexual desire. The desire to get cool is put on hold while we join together for some hot sex in our room.
Occasionally we engage in some late night sex. This is usually pretty drink fuelled, especially on my part. This is probably the only time I initiate it, often by stripping off and kneeling before him. Though there are times when it starts with Master getting me to suck his cock first.
I guess the only rule about any of this is so long as it feels right then it is the right time.
We are now 9 days into this new year and so far 2019 is going ok. The F4TF prompt this week is goals and ambitions for the year.
What are your goals, dreams, ambitions for 2019?
2018 was incredibly busy and my main hope is that this will be quieter, calmer and much more pleasant. I have a sense that this will be the case. We have plans to travel both at home and abroad and have booked a couple of trips. The first and most exciting will be a holiday in Cape Verde at the end of February. This will be our reward for getting through the traumas of the past few months.
Somehow I need to factor in finding some paid work and intend to set up a couple of meetings after our holiday to explore how that can be achieved. I plan to freelance and where possible work from home or wherever I am. A new 10 year health plan published by the government this week might help as there will be a need for people who can help to localise this.
Health and wellbeing will be a big factor for me this year. I need to lose weight ready for the breast reconstruction. This is slightly different from the general desire I have had for years but haven’t been able to sustain. My health scare has taught me that I need to be more mindful about what I put into my body. Recognising how much I love alcohol is important. After a week of dry January I am still craving wine at dinner, but feel pleased with myself for choosing water instead. I am finding other, non alcoholic drinks to try and haven’t resorted to Pepsi max once. I reintroduced sugar at Christmas and am now trying hard not to crave it again. These aren’t resolutions for the new year, but actual attempts to make lifestyle changes.
What, if anything, do you plan to try and change about your life? Why?
My focus is on myself, us and our relationship. The cancer diagnosis was a blessing in starting to make this happen. The test will be not to allow others to interfere or to allow myself to slip back to old ways.
There is very little that needs to change in terms of the way we live our life. Just to focus on making sure we achieve the things we want. Almost 7 years after starting this blog and I can at last say those things. All that is left is to get divorced and finalise any other legal things that are required.
Where do you see yourself in 12 months time?
For once in my life I am hoping for some status quo. Around this time next year I would expect to be preparing for surgery and then planning some great things for 2020. I can hardly believe that the century is nearly 20 years old and I am nearer 60 than 50. But strangely that feels less onerous than being 30 or 40 ever did.
This year, more than most I can remember has been a time of immense highs and unbelievable lows. It has also been one of great change. For so long I talked about making those changes and there were many times that I thought they would never happen. This blogging year has also been one of highs and lows, a year where my writing has developed and grown but also one when I almost lost my blog. There is so much to write about this year and so many people to thank and mention so here goes.
The year started in a bit of a whirlwind as I supervised the packing and moving for my mum. There was over 30 years worth of stuff in her large 3 bedroom house. The concept of downsizing was completely alien to her and consequently this was a stressful time for me and my brothers. She tended to sit watching it happen, then complain when we threw things out she later said she wanted. On moving day, she took more furniture than it was physically possible to put into her bungalow. So more pain followed.
In the midst of all of that, it was difficult to find time to blog or be particularly sexy. As is often the case the memes (Wicked Wednesday, Sinful Sunday, Kink of the week and SoSS kept me going). This year I have learned that writing about something is better than not writing at all. This month too, I joined the Smut Marathon (more of that later).
This post pretty much highlights that sex and kink was a bit lacking in our lives at the beginning of the year. Not entirely surprising given the whirlwind of January. At that time we were also planning for me to move in with him and had begun to get the house ready. Once again meme’s kept the blog going including TMI Tuesday, Food for Thought Friday and Art Twist. Indie and I have discussed bringing the latter back to life and maybe we will do that in 2019. I only recently realised that Kilted Wookie runs F4TF and it took a while to realise also that we had all week to write a post based on the prompt. Sometimes I am pretty slow on the uptake!
At the end of the month, while away for a weekend I managed to delete my blog! I still shudder when I think about how it happened and the work required to put it back together. Thankfully Dom Signs was there to help, I am so grateful to him. The full horror story is here.
This photo was taken hours before my blog went down and so didn’t appear until 3 March. It brings back the better memories of that weekend. In this post I write some more about the blog, but also for the first time about participating in the smut marathon as well as sex and coffee (all important things).
Our sex and kink life was at last on the up. In this Masturbation Monday post I describe some impulsive kinky sex and later in the month our first public play event. I haven’t contributed to Masturbation Monday as much as I would have liked to this year. Mainly because my sex blogging libido has been a little off kilter. But I did have the pleasure of meeting Kayla Lords and her husband John Brownstone at Eroticon. I followed John’s blog first and clearly remember the run up to Kayla moving to be with him which was so exciting. Together they have become quite a force to be reckoned with in the blogging (and podcasting) community.
Eroticon was a wonderful weekend of fun and laughter, plus some amazing sessions at the conference. Apart from Kayla and John we met so many other bloggers and writers that were previously words and pictures on a screen. Marie and Master T, May More, Posy, Eye, Cousin Pons to name but a few. I wrote about it here.
Once again I joined in with the Blogging A-Z challenge. Although there are 31 posts for April, which is getting on for a record I still had to combine some of the A-Z daily posts. Keeping with a mainly kink theme, the posts can be found here.
For the Wicked Wednesday post on Driving Lessons, I wrote about my rather unpleasant driving instructor. I guess this is my Me too incident; thankfully mild, though as you could tell it has stayed with me.
In April we travelled to Seville for the Feria celebrations and had a wonderful week of rest and recuperation. Seville is one of those places that we have pretty much seen and done but return to. The relaxed lifestyle, long lunches, dinners in several parts suits us.
By May, preparations for my move were in full swing. Our weekends were filled with decluttering, house maintenance and beginning to pack. However we did manage to find time for some fun and games. It had been a while since Master bought his girl a tail, but I hadn’t really had the chance to wear it. Until now.
The Smut Marathon moved onto round 5 and to my surprise I was still in the competition. As I mention in my post about round 4, my editing skills were coming under pressure. I tended to write pieces that were much longer than needed, sometimes 4 times as long. Since being out of the competition I have started to try to write stories that are already short and so need less editing. The Smut Marathon was a wonderful competition and I am grateful to Rebel for all her hard work in making it the success it was and will be again.
Hy from A Dissolute Life Means challenged herself and others to Post Every Damn Day in June. I got off to a good start even though at the time I was on holiday in Slovenia. Much of the country is under developed, with beautiful lakes, hills and mountains to explore. A great opportunity for some natural photo opportunities. While away I participated for the first time in Hyacinth’s regular meme: Boobday. I look at my contribution with some sadness as this is the boob I no longer have. The cancer was already growing inside me, though I didn’t know it. I do hope to participate again soon, but more of that in the post I am going to write about the coming year.
There was one final trip away (for a weekend) before the end of June, providing a great Sinful Sunday opportunity. After that, life was crazy as we prepared for my move.
The weather was wonderfully hot. A proper English heatwave. Probably not what you need when you are spending much of your life packing boxes. On one of the last weekends spent before the move, we frolicked in the garden. Not only did I run around naked but we also had anal sex out there. My anxiety about the neighbours seeing anything dissipated under the influence of a bottle or two of wine.
The rest of July is a mad blur. I didn’t post anything of substance until 26th. After the antics in the garden I developed a urinary infection (perhaps the two are linked) and needed antibiotics. Then as soon as I was recovered I moved house. I wrote about it all here. To be honest, I was pretty glad to see the back of July.
August was about finishing up at work. Luckily, with many people away on holiday the roads and railways were quiet, though London was as usual busy. There were few meetings so I was able to declutter my work environment in a reasonably calm way. I had a wonderful send off from colleagues and left on 31st. I also started to reorganise my blog a little, ending one journey page and starting another.
As we gradually settled into our life together we began to rekindle our kinky sides and also had some fun.
All through August I was waiting for the inevitable. I revealed at my mammogram early in the month that I had found a lump in my breast and knew I would be recalled. The first date I was given was for 31st August, but as this was my final day at work I asked for a later appointment. So on 11th September Master and I spent the entire afternoon at a one stop breast clinic. We came away already knowing that cancer was suspected, but had to wait a week for confirmation. The following day I travelled to Cyprus with my mum with a massive plaster on my boob. Over the coming days a huge bruise formed.
Cyprus was beautiful though. Hot sunny days and warm evenings. Even my mum and my attempts to hide my bruising didn’t spoil it. But I really did miss Master and wrote about my longing for him here.
On my return I received the news that we had been both expecting and dreading. I had breast cancer.
I think we saw the inside of more hospital wards and departments than I experienced in the first 3 months of my nursing career. Master was beside me the whole way and has been my rock and guiding light ever since the first appointment. Our hopes of a lumpectomy were dashed as the tumour was too large. So on 15th I had a mastectomy.
Many blog and twitter friends and followers have congratulated me on my positivity in coping with the surgery and aftermath. While I wanted to catalogue my journey and will continue to do so, I didn’t seek to make it seem easy. The operation was straightforward, but the recovery painful and frustration. I wasn’t the best patient, I don’t think nurses usually are. But I was determined not to succumb to self pity and so I guess that is why it came across that way. I started a series of regular posts about my recovery which will continue for as long as necessary.
I felt ready on 11th November to give Sinful Sunday followers a glimpse of my new body. I always knew that I was part of a body positive group of people but have been overwhelmed by the support. None more so than from Molly and that is why I chose Sinful Sunday for this post. Being able to go to the munch that Molly and Signs run and speak openly to others including Sub Bee has really helped. I am looking forward to getting together with Molly in the new year so she can photograph me lots more.
Thank you to everyone who has commented on here, sent me emails and messages on twitter. I know too that Master has found the support from this community to be a really positive thing.
A month of end of year lists and reviews, and I find myself on so many. After everything that has happened this year, I am overwhelmed. Looking back over my blog, I can see that it has been a good year for my writing.
Thank you to those who nominated me for the Kinkly and Chaturbate top sex blog lists. Thank you to May More for the wonderful messages of support and for including me on her Top of the Blogs list. To Floss, who named me as one of her top 20 Lovelies. To Kilted Wookie for putting me on the Naughty List, to Master Venture for including me on his list of people worth following and to Marie Rebelle for including me on her Top 20 of ’18. I am incredibly honoured to have been recognised by so many of the wonderful people I admire in this community.
Thank you to everyone who has read my blog this year and to those who have commented and supported me. Here’s to 2019 – more of that to come.
This is a time of year for celebration, but also reflection. My blog has been pretty reflective of late, but that doesn’t stop me joining in. This week’s Food For Thought Friday asks the following questions:
When do you feel happiest in your skin?
Whatever the problems of the past few months, I am pretty happy. There are no specific pressures on me and my time. We are spending more time together and there have been few arguments. Over time, we have settled into a routine and things are easy going. It is good to know that we don’t have to go away from home to be together, but do like to do so. Some of our happiest times have been while travelling and there is a lot more of that to look forward to in 2019.
How do you maintain balance in your life? Is there anything you need to change?
Not really. As anyone who reads my blog regularly will know, there have been a lot of changes over the past year or two. It felt as if I was talking about my move for ever, but now it has happened. We have a balanced life and plan to keep it just that way.
What has been a particularly challenging situation that you have faced? How did you handle it? What did you learn from it?
The break up of my marriage was extremely challenging. Taking place over a protracted period meant that it was very stressful. There are many things that could have been done differently. I should have been clearer with my husband when I no longer wanted to be with him. But managing the emotions of a grown man at the same time as working out how to move forwards is not easy. We are still married to each other and that is the next job. But because he is now living with his new partner in what was our house I believe he is ready for divorce. It has taken over 5 years to get to this place and that is far too long.
What does it mean to live authentically?
I guess living authentically means being true to yourself and those around you. For so long I lived something of a lie. Even though I knew I was unhappy, I did nothing about it. Fear of being alone and of what others might say, led me to stay in an unhappy relationship. But I can now say that has changed. Family don’t know the nature of the relationship Master and I have, but that doesn’t feel like an issue. We love and care about each other and all can see that. But there is no need to go into details, anyway they definitely wouldn’t understand.
What are the things that inspire you and how do they work for you?
I am inspired by some of the great writers and bloggers around and I have a desire to try to emulate some of them. Also the way in which people manage to juggle different aspects of their lives. However, I have no desire to continue to be the person I was. There is no longer any need for me to have a full-time job, I have no children to bring up, house to run and family to keep happy. To coin a phrase; been there, done that!
If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
If I could turn the clock back I would get myself to the doctor more quickly and get the lump I had in my breast removed sooner. Then I could have had a lumpectomy and not mastectomy. But, there is no guarantee that those few weeks would have made a difference. In future though, I will put myself before work, packing up a house and all the other things that made me delay.
The thing that I would like to change though is my weight. 2019 has to be the year I get to grips with shedding some pounds. I’ve been attending a slimming club for 4 years and am only a few pounds lighter than when I started. That is a waste of money. Though I have made some great friends there!
This week’s Food 4 Thought Friday prompt pays homage to Thanksgiving which was on Thursday. I am increasingly aware that I have so much to be thankful for. It would be so easy to wallow in self pity about what I don’t have rather than recognise what I do. So, here goes.
Last night in bed, Master asked me if I am happy with life now we are living together. The answer to that was a resounding yes. Even though we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years, moving in was a big step. We get on far better than I even hoped. We are good at giving each other space, but at the same time enjoy each others company. Our sex life is really good and now we have the time are having more of it.
Master has been a massive source of strength to me over the past few weeks. When I returned from theatre after my surgery he was waiting for me. At that moment, I knew I loved him more than ever and that I could rely on him. Even when things are tough we will definitely be supporting each other.
My son has gone through a lot this year and has shown himself to be a caring and resourceful man. I am so proud of the person he is. He is now 27 and of course a proper grown up, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need the help and support of parents and girl friend. He was there for me on the day of my surgery and on the phone frequently checking in. At the same time, he has supported his dad, grandad and uncle through some awful times. Sadly my ex’s brother died a couple of weeks ago after a long battle with motor neurone disease. His dad had a stroke a few weeks before that. On Tuesday, I will join them to say good bye and provide my support to them all. All of this makes me thankful that I have my health. Because even though I am being treated for cancer, it has been removed and I will recover.
I am thankful that I was able to give up work at the end of August. This means I have had the time to recover. When I finished work I was beyond tired. We are convinced that the events of this year – mum moving, me moving etc. contributed to making me susceptible to cancer.
I am grateful that I haven’t had to take time off work or worry about no one doing my job while I am away. Also that we can spend time together and enjoy the freedom of not working. while I will be looking for work in the future, this won’t need to be permanent or full time. I know we are lucky to be able to do this, and am grateful for both of us having worked hard in the past to make it possible.
It is really easy to get caught up in negativity, so it is useful sometimes to write about just positive things. For that, I am also grateful.
I have kept a blog for probably 10 years, and have been writing this one for well over 5. In that time my content has ebbed and flowed. There is nothing like a new relationship or exciting situation to get the creative juices flowing. But at other times, inspiration is difficult to come by. What is more, it is a challenge to keep things fresh and to refrain from repeating yourself, too much.
This week’s Food For Though Friday is about Inspiration and blocks as a blogger. These are mine,
Where do the ideas for your content come from?
My blog has always been, and probably always will be predominantly about me and my life. So, if things are going very well or very badly, I will have no trouble thinking of something to write about. At other times, I rely on memes and prompts to help me along.
I would love to write fiction, but really struggle with ideas for stories, whatever the genre. I don’t lack imagination, but unless it has happened, or I can see it happening to me I find it difficult to document. Perhaps years of writing factual reports for work has affected my ability to write fiction. When I was much younger, I wrote stories in long hand in exercise books. I no longer have them, so can’t really comment on quality, but I wasn’t short of ideas. They were often pretty erotic too.
How do you get inspiration? Who or what inspires what you post?
We are so lucky to have other bloggers and writers to help provide inspiration to us within this community. There are so many talented people, thinking up ideas, running memes and competitions. Then there are those that participate, who inspire content and ideas. Some of my favourites:
All of the bloggers above also write their own posts which provide further thought and inspiration.
At other times I have joined in with 30 days of submission or kink and other such memes that are more of a one off.
Then there are bloggers who seem to have little difficulty with their own inspirations and are great at providing others with ideas. I especially enjoy reading May More,Cara Theron, Posy Churchgate and Floss
Of course there are more ways of being inspired, and there are others out there providing that inspiration. Sometimes it is just a matter of visiting and commenting and suddenly realising you have a whole post to write in response.
How do you decide what to share, and why?
I try write stuff that is interesting to me and also importantly my Master. If no one else finds it exciting, that is ok, because it is my blog and I am writing in the main for our benefit. Sometimes my writing becomes personal, such as is the case right now. At other times it is fun or frivolous. It isn’t always easy to want to write and to share personal things, sometimes it feels dull and boring. But for me it is about being true to myself. Not much of my life is hidden, but in the main I avoid mentioning exact locations, other people who prefer to remain anonymous, specific details about my work and of course family. Other than that, what you see is pretty much what you get.
This weeks Food 4 Thought Friday prompt is all about self care, something that I have considered much more over past few weeks. It is so easy to be wrapped up in work, family, friends, household chores etc. Less easy to find the space for yourself. This was very true for me over the past few years. Reading back over older blog posts I can see how my life was a circle of work, getting the house ready to sell, helping my mum move and finally my own move. Of course there have been wonderful holidays and weekend breaks, but often they are busy times. Finally now I can and also need to have time for myself and us.
What activities do you indulge in to take care of you?
In the time since I finished work most of the self care has been reasonably sedentary. My body and brain needed to relax and unwind. The two holidays I have taken have been relaxing, I have read novels for the first time this year and strolled rather than rushed. I have also begun to blog more, but also read what others have written.
Some of the things I like to do to relax include walking – exploring new places, eating nice food and drinking good wine. I have my sewing which has taken for ever to finish. I also like to be pampered – a manicure, pedicure, facial, not that I have had those for a long time.
How regularly do you make time for yourself?
As I mentioned above, time for me was previously in short supply. Now though I can indulge myself and since my recent cancer diagnosis I need to. Finally family are giving me permission to concentrate on myself, but it is a shame that wasn’t the case before.
My priority is my health and wellbeing and our relationship. For now, that is how it will be.
Is your sex life part of your self-care regime and, if so, what part does it play and how?
Sex is certainly part of the plan. But also the opportunity to spend time together while naked. To be allowed orgasms and to provide sexual service to my Master. I am not sure how my libido will be affected by the impending treatment. But meantime it seems wise to indulge ourselves.