The things we do fo love

Like walking in the rain and the snow
When there’s nowhere to go
And you’re feelin’ like a part of you is dying
And you’re looking for the answer in her eyes
You think you’re gonna break up
Then she says she wants to make up

The things we do for love…….

10cc

The lyrics above are what I first thought of when I saw the F4T prompt. I bought the album about the time I first went out with my future husband. I was young and impressionable and did quite a lot for love. The song is about communication and compromise. I’d have done well to read and digest the lyrics, but I was only 15 at the time. I was more interested in singing along and listening to the other tracks on the album (Live and let Live).

The things I’ve done for love in the past
  • Stayed after infidelity for the love of my child (I’ve written about this a lot)
  • Got myself into debt for the love of a man and child, as well as a desire for material goods – Funnily enough it was in my name and not his. But I also got us out of it, so yay for me.
  • Been on holiday with family to places I didn’t choose – Tunisia when I wanted to go to Rhodes springs immediately to mind.
  • Spent numerous family days at my parents when I’d rather have been at home. Especially at Christmas. I am doing it again this year to prevent my mum being alone. A lot of the things I do for my mum are for love because she is quite a difficult person to like.
  • Cared for my dad when he was dying. Trouble was quite a lot of the nursing staff left me to it. After all I am a nurse. My brothers were also a bit frightened and I cared for them and my mum too. I wouldn’t change this for the world however.
  • Tried to smooth things between my ex and my son. But I now recognise it’s time to leave them to it.
The things I do for love now

Over the past few years I have done more things for the love of myself than others. This wasn’t always the case. But also I am fortunate to have the love of a man who cares for me in a way I never thought possible. This love started without the expectations of the one with my ex. We were much much older and got together knowing that we both had an interest in sex, kink, Dominance and submission. What emerged was much much more.

With Master I have learned to be the slave he wanted and I have agreed to things I doubt I would with anyone else. One of the main things that fall in that category links back to the GOTN post mentioned on the prompt page – Piss play. It’s his kink and not really mine, but I will let him piss on me and am happy to p on him. I pretty much would do anything he asks when it comes to kink.

That’s why I offered up my limits when I agreed to become his slave. I trust Master to make those decisions for me. I do know that I can say no but will rarely do so. But partly that is because he will usually discuss things with me before he tries something new.

However, our life isn’t just about kink, far from it. I’ve grown to like quite a lot of classical music because of his interest. I go to plays and events I would never have even known about and have visited places on the basis he had been there and liked them. Some of it I wouldn’t do on my own, but am happy to be there with him. Other things I find I enjoy and would be there even if he wasn’t.

But the best thing really is that we get to be together, explore new things, go to new places and learn from our mistakes. One of the best things is that the things I do for love now are also things he does for love too. That includes visiting my mum at Christmas when he would rather be at home.

F4Thought

Faking orgasm

Kitagawa Utamaro (Japanese, ca. 1754–1806)

I’m pleased to say that I suggested this week’s Food for Thought prompt. A few weeks ago I read survey conducted by Kinkly.com on Faking Orgasms. The writers there had read a couple of other smaller surveys and conducted one of their own. 1232 people of different ages, gender and sexual orientation. What interested me was the headline that 80% of respondents had faked orgasms at least once in their life. Not surprisingly (well to me anyway) women fake it more than men. Reasons for faking included: wanting the encounter to end, wanting the other person to feel good and not wanting the other person to feel bad. There’s loads more to read from the survey – see the link above.

But, what is my experience?

Have I faked it and why?

I’m sorry to say only too often. Not recently but with my husband. I could count on one hand the number of times he made me come. Mainly this was because he didn’t take the time to learn about my body. We were young when we met, both virgins. I didn’t really know what a female orgasm was, let alone what it felt like. It was years before I realised how much pleasure there was to be had from touching and being touched.

For years sex was about him. Once he had come, the encounter was over. Foreplay was a bit of breast and cunt groping. I think I’ve written here before that this was a man who could fit in PIV sex during a TV commercial break.

I bought myself toys and he found or saw them. So wanted us to play with them and after that felt I ought to come too (I am simplifying things a little here)! So, given that having an orgasm took time, that his fingers weren’t as good as my toys and that I rarely came from vaginal sex, I faked it.

Me faking it made him feel good but it made me feel bad. I’d often come later after he was asleep. Some relationship history can be read here

Do I fake it now?

No because I have no need. Orgasms in this relationship are a gift and are offered frequently. Master is a man who has learned about my body and who who loves to see me come. He also owns the orgasms and by doing so has taken the pressure away from me. They are no longer something I have to do alone. Nor are they something I crave, but never get. Instead he forces them from me, sometimes many times in one session.

From early in our relationship Master conditioned me to come on demand. By touching me and counting down then telling me to come. Over time I was able to come almost without him touching me. But always those orgasms are his, arrive when permission is granted and always I thank him afterwards.

I can hand on heart say I have never faked an orgasm with Master.

Recent troubles

Whether it is being post menopausal. Or because of the hormone inhibitors I take, my orgasms have dried up a little recently. In that I seem less able to come on demand. But rather than pretend, I tell him that I can’t or haven’t come yet. That I can do this is down to the trust between us and because I know he understands.

So we have taken to using our magic wand vibrator more and this has reignited my orgasms in a powerful way. When one of those arrives, there is no faking!

F4Thought

A secret life

I guess I have always kept some part of myself hidden and so have had secrets. Of course once I started this journey as a submissive with men who were not my husband so the secrets became bigger. But even though my life with Master is there for all to see, there are still secrets.

The Food 4 Thought prompt this week is about secrets and the Wicked Wednesday one is about doing things out of character. I’m going to combine the two as I think that if some people knew the reality of aspects of my life they would think it out of character.

How we met

Master and I met on Alt.com. Back then it was easier to chat, though you tended to get hit on, a lot. I found a great chat room though and spent time there getting to know a few regulars. We played out scenes online which was thrilling and new to me. But we also chatted, in open and also privately. I’m pretty sure that my friends and family would consider this out of character. So when I am asked where we met, I say: online But if asked which site I try to be vague. I keep this secret, because I don’t think people would understand. Of course it is none of their business. We met, we started a relationship and now we live together.

Our lifestyle choices

It’s unlikely, though not impossible that we could bump into people we know at a munch or event. No one in my family, ex work colleagues or friends know that we pursue an alternative lifestyle. I would imagine that if I told my son or brother, say, that I am a slave they would laugh. After all I am known for my forthright views, for being vocal and being a bit of a control freak. We know that this doesn’t preclude me from giving up control to another. But frankly I am happy not to go there with them. I would also prefer them not to know I like to be spanked, that I sometimes dress up in leather clothes. Nor that I like to be restrained and that our sex is kinkier than most. These are secrets I keep from those I know.

My blog

It may come as no surprise to people that I have a blog. But I’m pretty sure no one would expect it to be about my lifestyle and contain photos of us naked. There was a time when I was frightened of my blog being discovered for fear of being outed. Especially in terms of my job. I remain careful about completely revealing my identity because I don’t want my family finding out.

At the beginning the blog was also a secret from my husband. I found it a useful place to write about our relationship so didn’t want him reading it. One day he discovered it, but is so inept at internet stuff that he wasn’t able to find it again. This I am happy about.

Is my lifestyle and blog really out of character

At one time it definitely was, but not any more. After all I have been living some kind of submissive life for over 7 years. I have been Master’s slave for over 5. But these are secrets that I keep from others because I don’t want them to become public knowledge. I don’t believe people would understand and since they affect us and not them I prefer to keep quiet.

The lies I tell are, generally small ones. Evasiveness about the events we go to and what we do there. But it would be great to be more open to say we went to a Munch rather than the pub with friends. That we attended Eroticon and met lots of like minded kinky folk who happen to write blogs and books. But sometimes the secret is better kept.

F4Thought
Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

A road not taken

Two country paths, which way to take?

This week’s Food for Thought poses some questions about the choices we have made in life: How many times have you found yourself at a junction in your life?; What helped you choose the road/door you decided on?; Do you ever think about what you would be doing if you had chosen the other path?; Tell us about that other you who picked the other route.

A Junction in my life

The biggest was when I discovered my husband was having an affair. The signs had been there previously, though I had chosen to ignore them. To believe in the obvious lies he told. We had been married for around 8 years and my son was a toddler.

I was ironing in my dining room one Saturday afternoon when a woman turned up at the door and told me she was engaged to my husband. She had little time to lay out her accusations before he arrived and bundled her out. She sent me a very long letter the following week detailing all of the times they had been together and with photos to prove it. Around the same time divorce papers arrived.

What should I do?

I was a mess. Crying and barely able to function. He told me that the other woman was manipulative and that she wouldn’t let him go (they were work colleagues). He told me that it was partly my fault as I hardly ever wanted sex and indeed was frigid. Therefore he had strayed.

For pretty much the first time in my life I felt unable to go to work. I didn’t want to face people, couldn’t bare having to be strong and capable. I was a district nurse at the time and needed to be able to make decisions to care and to be the boss. This was something I couldn’t do and so I saw my GP and got signed off for 2 weeks. I also told a friend who had been through something similar.

Two weeks doesn’t sound long. But actually I made my decision during that time and tried to move on. I could see no way of being a single parent. I was physically and emotionally able but I hated the idea of people thinking badly of me. But also I worried that I would be unable to cope financially.

Even more than that though I loved my husband. Hated the thought of someone else having him and so decided to fight to keep him.

What would I be doing now?

That is a difficult thing to know. In hindsight I would have saved myself one hell of a lot of heartache. Instead of dealing with the issues at the time we buried them and tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Their relationship continued though he said it didn’t. But eventually I had him to myself and in reality she should have been welcome to him.

I think if I had kicked him out I would have managed. I’m sure people would have rallied around me, but my problem was I hated showing signs of weakness.

I probably would have explored other relationships sooner, but without the need to betray his trust too. My son would have got used to the idea of his dad and I being apart and wouldn’t have felt the effects in his early 20’s.

Of course I might never have met Master because I might not have been looking online when I did. Though there is always the chance our paths might have crossed sooner.

With another man I might have had another child. There were trust issues that prevented that happening with my husband.

The other me

Well, the other me is who I am now. It’s difficult to know if I would have got to this place sooner if our marriage had ended then. I would like to think that the other me would discover her submissive self sooner and find fulfilment with her Master. That there would have been more years together than there can ever be. But to be honest I am the person I am because of the things that happened. And as I said last week: je ne regrette rein!

Photograph: David Robinson

F4Thought

Remembering

When we were in the throws of separating my husband told me that he felt that our whole life together had been a waste. That I had ruined all of the good things we had together by my act of infidelity and decision not to remain with him. That was a bit rich coming from a man who had been unfaithful first. But this post is not about that. It is about my response. Which was: I wouldn’t change the things we did together, the family times, holidays and of course our son. Much less the 5 years before we married and the fun things we did afterwards, but before our son was born. I know that 6 years on he thinks differently, but in the heat of the moment I understand why he reacted as he did.

There are many things in my life that I would approach differently, but nothing I would really change. My memories of our long relationship are in the main happy ones. That wasn’t always the case because they were marred by my bitterness of the way he, I and we handled certain situations. But also of my general sense of unhappiness of a life less than fulfilled. So even when I was doing something fun, I found it difficult to just be happy. I was always comparing myself and my relationship with that of others. Perceiving myself to be suffering some how. This is weird, because some of those relationships were nothing to write home about.

But now, from the safety of a happy relationship with a man I know I love and trust I see things differently. I remember with fondness our holidays and family days. As my son was an only child and he has 4 cousins one or more of them came on our trips out and sometimes holidays. Sometimes my parents, their grandparents came along too.

That I spent too much time alone with my son while my husband was either working or pretending to is a source of irritation. It has affected their longer term relationship. But I no longer have to defend him or make excuses for it. I should have been braver and left him sooner. But I am no longer living in the land of what if.

Just as when Master and I discuss that it would have been good if we had met sooner. There is no point in worrying about what might have happened if we had. The experience of life has given me the memories I have. There are times I would rather forget, but know that remembering is more useful. I won’t be fooled in the way I was when young, but at the same time I can let go. I can remember the good and leave the irritations I once felt in the mist of time.

what is more I am making new memories, with Master with my son and with family and friends. It’s good to look back but healthy too to have an eye on the present and what is to come.

F4Thought

Feeling safe

This week’s Food for Thought prompt is Safewords or Words that make you feel safe. I wrote recently about safewords so am not going there again with this post. So, what words make me feel safe? Early in our relationship I wrote about the words we use within our relationship and what they mean to me, including how they make me feel safe. 5 years on it seems like time for an update.

During sex Master often provides a running commentary of what he is doing, what he wants to do and how it is making him feel. He also asks me questions designed to reaffirm to him that I am his slut, his slave, his bitch. The words he uses during those moments are part of the rituals of our sex life. They also make me feel very safe indeed.

This girl

Since the beginning of our relationship He has referred to me as girl, or more often ‘this girl’. The use of the third person, focuses me onto him and his needs rather than mine. Over time, it has become something of a pet name. It demonstrates to me that Master’s mind set is focused on our M/s dynamic and reminds me of who and what I am. His slave.

Pleasing bitch

The reference to my being his pleasing bitch often follows. There are times when I wonder about the title of my blog. But those words remind me once again about what my purpose is. To provide pleasure to him. During sex he will often refer to me as his pleasure bitch, which is what I am.

Lord and Master

I admit to being something of an unruly slave (his words) and not always massively respectful. But there are times when the need and desire to call Master my Master or Lord are very strong. During sex, when I am restrained and blindfolded during play, for example. You see this is a two way road. It isn’t just about who and what I am to him but who and what he is to me.

Of course he is also my love and when he tells me that he loves me. That he has never loved anyone like he loves me then I know this isn’t just about sex and BDSM. This man is my partner for life. And that makes me feel very safe indeed. I know that I love him too, more than words can express.

F4Thought

Kissing vignettes

The touch of your lips as you brush mine sends a shiver through my body. My nerve endings tingle and you pull me into your arms. Our lips meet again, your lips part and slide your tongue onto mine. They dance a little together, we smile, and then our lips meet again, this time closed.

I’m standing at the window looking out onto the street where two of our neighbours are chatting. Suddenly you are behind me, your brush your lips over the back of my neck and gently kiss in the centre. Then you place your hands over my clothed breasts and will those outside to look up and in.

I lay naked on the bed and you crouch between my open legs. You lean down and nibble at my nipple while stroking my breast, then run your tongue across the areola. Finally you take it into your mouth. The feeling of you sucking on me sends erotic messages to my cunt, which tightens. You release the nipple and instead suck my tit, leaving a tiny bruise. Something that will remind me later of where you have been.

We lay together on the sofa watching TV. Something makes us laugh and I turn my head towards you. We kiss gently and then because we are both aroused, our mouths remain locked in their own embrace. Our tongues move together and the TV is forgotten. You break away and instruct me to suck your cock. I protest, though not strongly and while you undo your trousers I get down onto the floor. As I take your cock into my mouth I inhale your aroma, teasing the tip with my tongue and then taking you more deeply.

Afterwards you pull me into your arms and kiss my mouth. You tell me you love the taste of your cock on my lips. But then you also love the taste of my cunt and though I love it less, I kiss you passionately then too.

A previous kissing post can be found here

F4Thought

Music – The food of love

Music has been an ever present feature of my life. Apparently Shakespeare’s Twelth Night quote is about using music to cure an obsession with love. I am not obsessional about love, any more than I am about music, but do think the two go hand in hand.

Childhood

Nursery rhymes were a feature of my young life and I especially remember my grandmother singing them to me, though I am sure my mum did too. Speaking and singing to my own son followed and I loved the way they made him smile and laugh.

At home music was ever present. My parents had a large and varied record collection, my mum also listened to the radio and I especially remember radio programmes as the background to life at home. Tony Blackburn’s dog Arnold, Jimmy Young’s recipe of the day and of course a never ending stream of pop music. This was the 70’s and particularly summer time seemed full of sing along songs. Silence was not something you heard in our house. This is still true in my mum’s home, though while she still listen’s to the radio in the mornings, the noise more often is from the TV. I have since grown to like silence as much as I like to listen to music, but then I don’t live alone.

One Christmas when I was about 13 I recieved a tape deck from my parents. I had peviously had a radio in my room and used the family record player for my own records, but now I could listen to my music in my own room. David Cassidy, David Soul, the Osmands and my personal favourite Bay City Rollers were my teenage prefences. I loved to lay on my bed, dreaming of love or writing romantic fiction while the music wafted over me. Yes, I was something of a romantic.

Live music

Music and lots of it was played at school. I turned out to be pretty inept at playing my own chosen instrument, the clarinet, but there was no shortage of opportunities to listen to others. We also had practice music rooms, where we could go at lunchtime. I taught myself a few tunes on the piano, but in the main stuck to popular music. Luckily our music competitions and school plays encouraged a mixture. It wasn’t that I didn’t like classical music, it was that I didn’t understand it and wasn’t curious enough to find out.

My first experience of live music outside of school was a trip to see Gary Glitter. Sadly he turned out to be a paedophile so being one of ‘my gang’ wouldn’t be the thing now. But at the time, it was fun and exciting. I realised that seeing a singer or band live was a completely different experience to listening to them while lying on your bed at home.

It wasn’t until I was newly married though that I experienced more live music, starting with Queen at Knebworth, which luckily was very close to my then home town. This was live music on a scale I had only seen on TV. It was exciting, spine tingling, sexual even. After that I had the bug and we went to lots of smalleer concerts and then later on Robbie Williams also at Knebworth. In the main, I would never turn up the chance of live music even if I wasn’t sure it was to my taste. The experience and anticipation of being in the same room, hall or field with the musicians is something I love.

Attending classical recitals gives me the same thrill, and that is part of my life now.

A journey into the unknown

Master loves music. Jazz, show music, Lieder, Piano, Chamber and some pop. But he is discerning in his choice and views. He knows what he likes, will give what he doesn’t know a chance but won’t listen if he thinks something is wrong. his abiliity to identify musicians playing early 20th century jazz music is amazing but then he is also good at naming 70’s pop artists. He can tell if a piece is being played at the wrong tempo or if an instrument is out of tune or heaven forbid being played badly.

Being with Master has meant exploring a whole new avenue of music enjoyment and lots and lots of live music to enjoy. I have learned about various composers through attending educational events and festivals. I find the lives and times of Debussy, Wolf, Shumann etc. as fascinating as their music. I don’t claim to have great knowledge, but I am enjoying learning. Music was one of the non kink threads that bound us. We have learned and tolerated each others choices and grown to appreciate our differences.

Master also likes quiet. He loves music but cannot stand ever constant noise, he likes to be able to think. Over the years this is something I have grown to appreciate too. We sometimes have music playing when we eat or play or have sex. But equally there are many times when we don’t. We watch films and TV or actively listen to music of an evening. But sometimes we just sit quietly reading or we talk.

#F4TFriday

Why I blog – to write and to read

There is something about writing here on my blog and posting my words online that I love. I have kept various diaries and journals over the years, but tended not to continue them for long. Blogging involves not only writing but reading the words of others and interacting with those writers. That is something that appeals to me.

Writing

My first blog was about my work environment. The health service is always subject to change and blogging was a way of expressing my views about it. I saw that other nurses and medics were doing the same and thought why not. I loved the anonymity and ability to express myself. Writing was something I had always enjoyed but I was surprised to find others read and commented on my ramblings.

This was somehow different from writing papers and reports for work, at last my own voice was emerging. This was a space for me to give my opinion as well as to compare my experiences with those of others.

I’ve explained before that when I started this blog I deleted my work related one. I have to admit I still regret doing so, but was worried about being double discovered.

This blog started during another period of change, this time more personal. I wrote about my own voyage of discovery – infidelity, a new relationship, my sexuality and exposing kink. So much was wizzing around in my head that I needed to write it down. And since I had the experience of my original blog, what better way to journal than through a blog.

Reading

I started off writing for myself, to express my own thoughts and feelings. But I barely wrote anything without also reading the words of others. My real life kink exporation took place while reading the books and blogs of others. My thirst for knowledge and information was immense. I was reassured to find that I wasn’t the only one to discover a side to themselves they didn’t previously know about. To experience a sexual awakening. Reading other people’s work made me want to write more. Whether in response to something I’d read or because I’d had my own new idea.

I’m still in contact with a few of the people I ‘met’ through my first blog and while none of them still blog, we are facebook friends. I’d love to have met some of them, but know it probably won’t happen. I never imagined when I started this blog that I would become part of a community. That I would meet my fellow bloggers and make new friends along the way.

Writing for self or for others

For the first couple of years I was really writing for myself and about myself. I interacted with other bloggers, but only knew them through the blog. S got to know about the blog after a year or so, but wasn’t massively interested in it. He read it and liked what he read. But when things between us changed I didn’t really need to worry that he would be upset by what I wrote. In hindsight I could have been much more open and honest about our relationship. Instead I mainly wrote about the sex which happened infrequently. I didn’t write about the long periods of silence from him or the fact that I was struggling to work out what to do with my life.

When I met Master I told him about my blog and he began to read. He has never stopped reading. He often reads back to the beginning of our relationship and he always reads new posts and comments. Over time this has inevitably made me write for him as well as myself. Also it has meant I have censored myself from writing things that might cause him upset. I am also careful to protect elements of our relationship that he, I or we would rather others didn’t know.

The run up to my moving here to live with him was difficult as both our emotions ran high. But I didn’t write much about that. Looking back, it was probably tiredness as much as anything.

Writing a personal diary

I would say that my breast cancer diagnosis changed my writing and it’s purpose. It was easier to tell people I had come to know and respect online and in person through my blog. I wanted to express my feelings to myself and to Master in a way that I couldn’t verbalise. But also I knew that I might want to look back on those times afterwards.

At times I struggled with the thought that the purpose of this blog was to write about our relationship journey. About kink and sex. But with encouragement from fellow bloggers and of course Master I realised that I can write about anything that is important to me at a given time.

After all, this blog started as a personal account. It was a diary of sorts when my husband discovered my infidelity and later when I navigated the challenges of a poly relationship.

Writing for others

Many people have commented that my cancer journey blogs may help others. That is hopefully the case, but they were written more for myself. When I write for a meme prompt I usually do so because I have something to say on the topic. But sometimes I admit to writing because I want to participate. That is definitely true of new memes and also month long challenges such as the Blogging A-Z.

Recently when on holiday I realised that I had writing fatigue. So, I made a conscious decision not to blog. I worried that I was missing memes and that people would stop visiting. But I believe that you should not only write but read too. So finding myself without the time to read, I decided not to blog either. And I feel better and more energised for it.

Eroticon and Smut Marathon

Both Eroticon, the annual writers and bloggers conference and Smut Marathon the now annual writing competition have influenced my writing. Apart from individual blogs and websites, these are key external influences.

Eroticon provided me the opportunity to learn more about sex and erotic writing as well as meet like minded people. It has also made me see that my work is recognised and valued by others. Meeting fellow writers in person and having face to face conversations with them has spurred me to keep writing and posting.

Smut Marathon gave me the chance to push myself to write fiction, something I don’t find easy to do. The competition challenged me to emerge from the comfort zone of factual and opinion pieces. It also opened me up to criticism that I hadn’t experienced though blogging. I enjoyed participating but am not sure whether I would do so again. However, it did show that I can write fiction to a reasonable level. This is something I will challenge myself to do more of this autumn.

So in conclusion…

I write for me and for Master. I write for those who engage with me. But without the work of others to read and comment on there would be little for me to write about. I doubt I would have continued this blog if no one every visited or engaged with me. It would have lasted as long as my paper journals, usually half way through January.

#F4TFriday

New habits and old rituals

While writing this post on the deck of a ferry crossing from Spain to England, I wondered. How to habits form and then how do they become so ritualised. I wondered too, if some of what I describe as rituals aren’t just habits. But anyway, here goes.

Like most people, I have certain rituals by which I live my life. These are mainly related to getting up and dressed and getting ready for bed. I always wash my hair when I first get into the shower and then condition. Finally, I wash my body while I leave the conditioner on. I always put my contact lenses in before cleaning my teeth. 

Master is more ritualised than me and he is more compelled to do things in a certain order. For me, it is not the end of the world if I do things differently but it puts him completely off his stride. He has suffered from OCD and while this is not a particular issue at the moment, I know it has been. I recognise there is no such thing as a ‘bit of OCD’ but thankfully his is under control right now. Still there are times when he needs to go and check doors are locked or the oven is off. Even whether he actually did clean his teeth. All I can do is encourage him in the memory of what I know he has done. But I never stop him from checking.

Our morning sex routine is quite ritualised and is something we often do since I stopped working. Indeed I am happy to say that our sex life has grown and developed in that time. This is because we have more time and no longer need to rush round in the morning, so this can be indulged.

We don’t have any particular M/s rituals other than the way our sex life is conducted. He is keen always to reiterate that I am his sex slave and while this flows into other areas of our life, these are not rituals as such.  Instead they are things that we do for a while or every so often that enhance the M/s side of our relationship. For example, there are times when I kneel, or when I will wear certain clothes or go without underwear. Often at his request, but sometimes on my own initiative.

I think our life together has passed beyond tasks and rituals and any way there are enough things we do that are often the same. Mixing things up can be a pretty good thing. However as new habits form, there is no telling if they too may become the rituals of the future.

#F4TFriday