Blogging A-Z 2018: K&L

Kink and Limits

There is a place on Fetlife where you can list your kinks or as described there, fetishes. Those available range across the spectrum of those related to domination and submission, through pain, degradation, humiliation and so on. Just reading through posts there, blogs, books and comments on social media it’s possible to find out about those kinks and how people fulfil them.

What is clear, is that everyone is different. What works for one person, couple or group really doesn’t for others. But just because you come across something you wouldn’t want to do yourself, doesn’t make them wrong. Nor does it mean you have to want to try everything, after all everyone has limits.

My approach all along this journey has been that I have a few very hard limits when it comes to kink. Thankfully most of those are the same as Master, which makes life easy. These include blood, scat and anything completely illegal. I have one that I described to him at the beginning of our relationship that he has respected. It might seem odd, but I will not dress up in any nurse / medial related out fit. I am a nurse and as such will not bring my own profession into disrepute by degrading the uniform. I have no problem with others dressing as a sexy nurse, I am just not doing it.

All other limits I might have, or have had in the past are soft. This made it easy to give up decisions about those limits to Master once we agreed our power exchange relationship. He has a number of kinks that aren’t necessarily mine, but I am happy to embrace them. One of those would be water sports. Given a choice I wouldn’t initiate peeing on him or being peed on, but have to admit I don’t dislike it.

My journey to submission, slavery and kink has been one of great learning. We have explored our fantasies as well as things we knew we enjoyed. There have been things we have done once or twice and not repeated, and there are others we rarely do but would like more time to explore.

The fun and enjoyment we have together in the bedroom or play room are part of what makes our relationship special. It stops life getting dull and helps us learn more about each other along the way. I am glad I found kink and explored my limits and that I have him to help me do so.

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L is for……

Limits, love and lust. 

When I first started in this whole D/s, BDSM world and chatted to a few guys online they were always interested in your limits. To begin with, I had little idea of what they either were or ought to be and had to read around the subject. I distinctly remember ‘chatting’ with one individual who declared I would be wearing a diaper (nappy in this country), I cut him short and left the conversation. Yep, I thought a limit. When I met S we had a conversation about what we did and didn’t want / intend to do, but I was always free to say no. I never actually did since, despite being tied naked to a tree and fucked on a picnic table, he never asked me to do anything that I considered to be a limit.

With Master, the relationship started off in the same way, limits were discussed in a chat room and, he was always careful to test out I was happy with things. We were playing or else having sex. He discovered my exhibitionist tendencies and pushed those, but I was never unhappy with what he suggested and have never called red. I became his slave during that first summer and then last year received his collar and this caused me to think. I trust this man, he has my submission, I have agreed that he is my owner and so as part of this he should have my limits. He didn’t demand them, I offered them and he grabbed them from me. Of course, I am a human and I have consented to this whole thing, so I can take anything away that was given. But I can’t see that happening. The limits are defined by him and that is how we live our life. He loves the power he feels owning both me and my limits and I in turn love that I no longer have to worry about this kind of thing. Now if he asked me to wear a diaper, things might change!

Love and Lust

I was with the same man for nearly 30 years and so, when it came to getting involved with new people it was difficult to know quite what to expect. What I experienced in the first instance in both relationships I think was lust. I discovered a much more sexual person in myself than I even knew I was and often became overwhelmed with lustful endorphins. Both times I faced, or in Master’s case perceived the end of the relationship, and my reactions made me think I must be in love. With S, this came as a surprise, since he had pushed back quite a bit on the feelings side of things, plus there were things about him which rang alarm bells in me. It told myself that this was about the kinky sex, but when he ended it one hot July day having earlier tied me to a tree in the woods, I was devastated. Later I confirmed to myself that it had been lust. But also my reaction was about the possibility of returning to my former self, a feeling of loss. When the real end of that relationship came, the break was easy.

With Master things were different, it was never meant to be about love. It was supposed to be an opportunity for me to learn about my submission while he bided his time until his real submissive was with him. When he reaffirmed that understanding to me several months later, I felt bereft. I imagined myself as unlovable, pictured myself alone without the man I so obviously loved. That isn’t to say we didn’t lust after each other because we did and still do. But there is more to this, a deeper understanding a way of communicating that I sadly never experienced before. Nor, I think did he. This really is love.

Which makes me go back to my marriage. There was some lust at the beginning, but I really can’t remember when I hungered for him in the way I do for Master. I loved him and still do in a strange way – partly due to his neediness which drove me mad and attracted me.

It may be scary to think that these 3 relationships are pretty much it in terms of sexual encounters. There have been a couple more, but neither feel significant now. But for me, for now I don’t feel I have lost out since I know that what I have now is something I want to keep hold of.

The girl He wants

It seems that this girl is in something of a flow, a series even. Having written about herself as a slave and as a person, perhaps it is time to think about this girl’s perception of the slave that Master wants.

It is His power within this relationship and all that she has given to Him that essentially gets Him off. He is aroused by the knowledge that He owns a slave who is willing to give up control of just about everything for Him. It started with orgasm control and quickly moved onto the slave as an object, He a Man who owned her body, mind and indeed her name. Next was certain modifications of her body; the piercings and finally her limits. 
Somewhere in between Master and His girl have worked out His wants and needs around other aspects of life. He wants her to need Him, but not so much that she can’t function in her normal daily life. This girl has a job in senior management and needs to be able to function at a high level and to exercise control over that part of her life. She earns a reasonable salary and is self sufficient in that area of her life, though appreciates advice and guidance on money management and likes to discuss work related issues. He always asks about her day and it keen to discuss ways in which things have gone well or not.

This girl expects and indeed likes to pay her way and they both agree that is important for them both. Family life is her own domain as is management of her ex, but often she seeks advice and while he gives it freely, He doesn’t insist she follow it since that is her domain. In general, life is reasonably stable, He expects her to be able to function from day to day with the minimum of guidance. If there is a problem, then she might need additional help, but in general during week days contact is just in the evenings. Weekends are spent together. So this girl can say she is in the main a low maintenance slave.

So to the future. firstly body modification: He would like more piercings, a tattoo or two and much shorter hair. This girl is excited by the idea that she might have some more piercings – both favour the labia to be next. Weird as it might be to some, the idea of getting 2 or even 4 piercings is very exciting to this girl. She would like rings that can be laced, or linked to the clit piercing. Even indeed to her nipples. This girl has struggled with being able to manage rings in her nipples, only due to the little balls that the rings tend to have and the problem of getting them in place. What she needs is a friend who can help her manage them (they are seriously fiddly to a person whose close vision is completely shot to pieces). But the idea of rings linking the labia, clit and nipples is truly exciting to both Master and this girl. The tattoo idea is no problem to this girl, but the hair is a different concept entirely.

Interestingly, this girl is incredibly turned on by the idea of having her hair shaved. Master identifies His ideal slave as someone who has a shaved head and this girl can see and buy into that. The reality of managing the hair stylist and her friends, family and work colleagues are something else entirely. Over the past year though, this girl has gone from having hair which reaches almost to her shoulder to a style which is pretty short. Many people have commented and in a good way. It is just the next step that feels a challenge, though not one too far.

Lastly there is the service that this girl can give to Master each and every day and His wish and need for that. Over the Christmas holidays, Master and His slave spent 3 weeks together, 24 hours a day. We both know that this is our ideal life. One where this girl is able to serve Him in all ways. Sexually of course, as she does now. But also one who is able to look after Him, cook and clean and generally be there as He needs. There are other needs – humiliation, degradation, exhibitionism. All of those needs could finally be met as He wanted.

This collared slave loves the fact she is owned and possessed, but for both, Master and slave, more is needed and soon.

30 days of kink – 3 in one!

As with some of the of 30 days of, it seems that combining days is a good idea, otherwise a girl could be here till Christmas completing it.

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic


There are a number things to this photo – firstly she is naked and on her knees, he is fully clothed and is standing up. Look at the way He has His hand on her head. Finally of course, she is restrained and wearing the leash that He is holding.

This speaks to this girl of submission and Dominance, of control, of power and control. 

These are some of the things that this girl finds erotic. Re-enacted in real life and this girl imagines that she would very soon have her mouth around Master’s cock, at His very insistence of course.  

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy


Madonna, Erotica

Master has played music from this album once or twice during a play session and it is beginning to have an effect on this girl even when He is not around. A bit of a Pavlov’s dog thing? 

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

The only limits this girl now has are the hard ones which both this girl and Master agree on anyway. They would be around age play, scat and anything illegal. Other than that, this girl has handed her limits over to Master, she is His slave and that is all that can be said on the subject. He wishes to push this girl’s limits and she trusts that He will do that in the right kind of way. Safe to say, this wouldn’t always feel pleasant, certainly on the surface. This girl finds it both scary and exciting to be pushed, but trusts Him to do it in the right way.