A landmark event for MPB – Public Play

Sunday was our second visit to CMnf. This twice yearly event, held at a kink club is for Male Dominants and female submissives and is one where the man is clothed, the female naked.

This was actually our third visit to the club because we also attended a pre-Christmas event. On both previous visits one or other of us had been in the throws of a cold / virus or just recovering. This time though we were both fully fit and so Sunday marked our first public play event. Master took along some of his favourite toys to use on his slave.

Arrival

As soon as we arrived, I went off to change. Last time, it was pretty cold in the main play / seating area and so I decided to wear stockings and heels. I was otherwise naked. My fellow female subs and slaves ranged from being totally naked to wearing body jewellery, under breast corsets and other lingerie. The men of course were all wearing suits. It took me just moments to lose any inhibitions and as I sat chatting I forgot I and they were naked.

A main topic was the previous weekend’s eroticon as a number of us had been there. It was lovely to catch up with Molly, Michael and Cara and Sub Bee and her partner among others. Except for Cara who was there for the first time, the others are seasoned CMnf attendees. We also chatted to a couple of other couples we have met there before. To be frank, I am beginning to feel I really belong there.

Public Play Time

We hadn’t eaten lunch before arriving at the club on Sunday. Caused by drinking a little too much wine, a late night and losing an hour’s sleep. So we waited until we had eaten a little of the buffet provided. Meantime, we watched others playing, chatted and Master kept me warm with a few strokes of his fingers.

At last it was time for us to play. He wanted to violet wand me first so cuffed and blindfolded me and secured me while seated to a bench. I struggled to relax. It was such a long time since we had indulged in impact play and it was going on all around me. I wanted to enjoy the violet wand and to take the orgasms granted me, but needed impact more.

So we moved to a bench that I could lie on. As the flogging began, I began to relax and enjoy my submission in a way I haven’t in such a long time. As usual I have little idea of the toys he used. Some were more pleasant than others but all were received with pleasure and relief. Well, maybe not pleasure exactly but certainly they were welcome. I noticed the sound of other floggers and impact objects hitting my fellow subs. Sometimes everything appeared to hit home in unison. I found the sounds comforting.

Afterwards I felt floaty in a way I haven’t in a long time. I actually refused an orgasm during play, but had been given several earlier that morning.

Thoughts

For a long time I have been anxious that public play would make me self aware in a way I didn’t like. Even knowing I am an exhibitionist who has previously enjoyed public humiliation. My fears were not recognised and I absolutely loved the experience. It helped to have been able to get to know the environment, the people and to watch others. But now it has happened to me, I want this much more. I really hope that Master decides to take me to other places where we can play in public but that we return to CMnf next time.
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Eroticon Diary – Afterwards

Today I was back at work just a few miles from Camden Town. It seemed almost impossible to believe that my 4 day break had flown by quite so quickly. The anticipation and excitement I felt on Thursday as I left the office replaced by tiredness and yes a little sadness. We are going to have to wait an entire year before Eroticon takes place again. But I have taken away some amazing memories along with a head crammed with ideas. Yesterday I was just too tired to write, but in the office this morning  I could have written loads. Instead I got down to the emails, interspersed that is with twitter chat. So, what were my highlights?

The talks

There were so many great sessions to attend, so there were difficult choices. I can honestly say I enjoyed every session I went to.

Remittance Girl’s session on Taboo and Transgression had me thinking all weekend. It also gave Master and I plenty to discuss in our downtime and with others at the conference. The universal taboos of incest, murder and canabalism are almost passé as film and book topics. Speaking ill of modern politicians and celebrities perhaps carries a greater danger. Remittance Girl was clear that as writers we must tackle the really difficult topics. Consent, pornography, the sexualisation of children, of illness and disability to name a few.

Kayla Lords provided an insight into the making a living from blogging and writing. Something I hadn’t really considered. It has made me assess my worth and given me food for thought about the future. This is not something I would pursue while still working but it could be an alternative to what I had planned. On Sunday, I attended Cressida Dowling’s session: Is there a book in your blog? In essence I think the answer is no – I have no clear theme, I am not organised enough and am probably too lazy. I’ll leave that to others and buy their book.

Neil Brown’s Legal tips session was very interesting. Unfortunately we got stuck on the issue of age verification. I know this is a really important topic and one we all need to know about, but it prevented him covering everything. I enjoyed hearing his views and advice on freelancing, particularly after Kayla’s earlier talk. And I was pleased to find he confirmed much of her advice.

The talk on SEO by Miguel and Mark from Fetish.com was extremely useful. The loss of my blog and subsequently pasting my old backed up posts means I have about 600 without SEO. Loads to do then.

Vac Play and Kink Lab

I knew Mactire was going to be at Eroticon and had already decided I was going to try out vac play. He offered me the choice of all 3 of the beds, I chose the one I thought least likely to cause me anxiety.

I loved the experience and will definitely try the cube in the future. I am less keen on the Vac Bed that involves being completely encased in rubber.

 

Socialising 

Last year  at Eroticon I struggled to engage fully with my fellow delegates. This is not a new issue for me at conferences. I tend to stick with people I know and having Master with me meant I conformed to type. This year though I wanted things to be different. He did too and I agreed to socialise more.

Being more active on Twitter before the event helped. By the end of the Friday meet and greet I had already spoken to more new people than in the whole of the weekend last year.

I enjoyed re-engaging with people from last year, putting faces to names from blogs and twitter. We spent some time on Friday speaking to Kendra, including helping her plan her visit to Harry Potter World. She told us a little about the talk she would be giving on Sunday. It didn’t however prepare me for the power of her talk on Sunday. I am in awe of the things she has gone through during her life and that she has fought so hard to express herself. She is an absolute inspiration.

I am an author

Earlier in the year I submitted a story for inclusion in the Truth, the Eroticon Anthology. My submission is a true life account. I can’t describe how good it makes me feel to see my work in the Anthology. I will write more about this another time.

A weekend away

We love a weekend in a hotel. Even though we live just 20-30 miles from the Eroticon venue there was no question of us commuting. That would make it too much like being at work. We stayed in our favourite hotel, near Euston and took the tube or bus. The cold weather took me by surprise since I didn’t believe the forecast. So I arrived in and had to wear my light weight raincoat all weekend. But our room was warm and the bed huge. Sunday afternoon we snuck away from Eroticon and attended a pre-booked concert. Then dozed in the room. I wanted to go and meet up for post Eroticon drinks but couldn’t find enough energy for more than a stroll to a nearby burger bar.

An extra night in the hotel and a day off on Monday rounded off the weekend. Back home it felt like the weekend was a dream. I felt sad because the days had flown by. But with such wonderful memories I know this sadness will be short lived.

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Coffee please

Yesterday at Eroticon was wonderful. I listened, made notes, chatted, laughed and ate the lovely lunch. The coffee wasn’t so good, but then catered coffee at conferences never it. Last night, after a meal in Covent Garden and a bus journey back to Camden, we joined the social. I drank too much wine and we had a late night. Plans to get up early have gone a little awry. But I am showered, and I have had some very nice coffee. Almost ready for part 2.

Sinful Sunday

Eroticon Diary – The return

Today we travel into London for Eroticon. Despite working in the capital city and therefore travelling into town every day, I love a weekend there. We usually stay at the same hotel, a quite swanky place, well situated for bus and tube. There are a couple of favourite restaurants we like to go to and often there is a show, gallery or concert to attend. This time though will mainly be about Eroticon.

Having attended last year, I have a clearer idea of the format, know the venue and it’s layout and also some of the people who will be there. This year though, I have been more active on twitter and have engaged with people on their blogs. I want to get to know some more people in real life and hope that will happen over the course of the weekend.

I am reaching the end of my full time working life. There are plans to give up work as soon as the house gets sorted and then to become a contractor and work less. I hope then to devote a bit more time to writing and to see where that takes me. The eroticon sessions will, I hope help me form some ideas to take forward. I am looking forward to the Kink lab at the end of tomorrow’s session. Hopefully for us to watch and try out new things.

Tonight’s social should be fun and a great ice breaker, something I am really looking forward to. We don’t plan to attend tomorrows, not because we are stick in the muds or maybe we are. No, we intend to visit our favourite tapas bar and can’t do that if we go to the social. Plus we do like to spend time for just us and that will be it.

There will be further Eroticon Diary updates as the weekend progresses.

Eroticon 2018

 

Our Eroticon Meet and Greet

Eroticon 2018

In Just 3 weeks Eroticon will be underway in London. This is our second time, so we are no longer virgins (so to speak). I am really looking forward to the weekend because I hope it will help me improve my writing skills. As you will see below, Master is looking forward to a weekend away in London!

Hers

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

Julie. I have never been creative when it comes to catchy pen names and anyway I am happy with who I am. On Twitter you can find me as @MPBjulie

What are you most looking forward to about Eroticon 2018?

Last year I was rather more shy than I wanted to be and stuck close to Graeme. This year I intend to get to know the people whose blogs I visit and comment on and with who I have chatted on Twitter. Plus as I said above, I am keen to listen and learn.

We are creating a play list of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the play list and tell us why you picked that song

Perfect 10 by Beautiful South. I’m not a perfect 10 but I do love Paul Heaton’s music.

What’s the first career you dreamed of having as a kid?

I always wanted to be a nurse. I used to bandage, splint and put plasters on my dolls before moving on to my younger brother. I became a nurse am still a nurse, though I no longer bandage or splint anyone!

Weirdest place you’ve ever gotten up to mischief (define ‘mischief’ however you like…)

Does being tied to a tree in a small wood on the Sussex Downs count? That particular time in my life (2012/13) was one long adventure in weird places!

Tell us two truths and a lie about yourself

  1. I once nursed Kim Wilde’s grandmother
  2. I hate wine
  3. I once had to return to a B&B to collect a bag of sex toys I had mistakenly left there

Complete the sentence: I want..

to go on more holidays please


His

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

Graeme

What are you most looking forward to about Eroticon 2018?

The chance to spend a long weekend in London

We are creating a play list of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the play list and tell us why you picked that song

My First My Last My Everything by Barry White. It reminds me of the time a tray of tequila shots was dumped over my suit.

What’s the first career you dreamed of having as a kid?

I always wanted to be a cricketer

Weirdest place you’ve ever gotten up to mischief (define ‘mischief’ however you like…)

In a hotel room decorated to look like a jungle with parrots on perches, a monkey on a swing, and a waterbed with an overhead mirror

Tell us two truths and a lie about yourself

  1. I like capybaras
  2. I have done lines off a sex worker’s tits
  3. I have read Don Quixote in Spanish

Complete the sentence: I want..

To get some sleep!

Review of 2017 and recommendations for 2018 (part 1)

So the end of the year is nigh. For me, this year has been a little bit strange. I started with hope and expectation and end, well with hope and expectation. Meanwhile I have travelled to new places, enjoyed new and very different experiences. But in many ways life remains the same. Perhaps 2018 then?

January

On January 1st I posted my predictions for the year ahead. I truly believed that this year I would sell the house and move in with Master. But mum deciding to move closer to my brother plus my ex’s parter wanting to buy my share of ours changed that. We have travelled to new places – Brussels, Toulouse and Alsace – Lorraine. But as for living together, hopefully next year.

February

On Feb 18th I shared the move to my own domain on Sinful Sunday. I completely underestimated the amount of work involved in a self hosted blog. But to be honest it has been worth it. I have a freedom here that I never experienced before. It is easier to manage than blogger and the move has helped me to express that freedom. Sinful Sunday is a wonderful meme run and hosted by Molly Moore on her blog Molly’s Daily Kiss. Within hours of my move, Molly’s husband Michael, web master extraordinaire  had identified some security issues on the blog (due to my naive ineptitude in the main) and helped me fix them. Sadly Michael doesn’t write very much these days, but when he does, the posts are well worth a read. Passionate, deeply sexy, serious or fun as the need arises.

March

On 6th March I shared my thoughts on our Eroticon experience. For the first time we had mixed with other kinky people. The weekend organised by Molly, Michael and Girl on the Net was almost overwhelming. We met new people, but found it difficult to interact with strangers. I learnt so much about writing and blogging, but have been almost too scared to put that learning into practice. But it was a real learning experience and this coming March I think we will take advantage of the experience so much more. I met many of the bloggers I admire at Eroticon but sadly didn’t speak to all of those I should have. For example Jerusalem Mortimer and Silver Dom

April

At the very end of March it was Master’s birthday. He decided to celebrate by taking us to the Secret Dungeon. In April I joined the Blogging A-Z challenge and introduced photos from the dungeon on 1st. Then described more of the environment and experience on 5th  – D for dungeon. To be honest it was an important time for us both. We were able to explore our kink in a way we hadn’t for a very long time. We created memories that have lived with us and what is more, it made us want to return for more. I am not sure if the a-z Challenge will run again in 2018, or if I will participate. But this year I had no shortage of material!

May

One of the things that might put me off of joining a whole month’s challenge such as Blogging A-Z or February Photofest is the potential for running out of steam. By May it was clear this was happening. On 6th May I posted ‘One of those update posts‘. It gave an indication of what was to come. I struggled with ideas and creativity, added to the pressure of normal life. A blogging drought. However May was also the month when Master’s new bathroom was installed, complete with jacuzzi bath! More of that in part 2.

In May too though I had the opportunity to provide the roundup and judge Wicked Wednesday for the first time. This for me was something of a learning experience. Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s Notes has had a difficult year. Coping with the distressing loss of her mum as well as the trauma of a flood in her home. I wasn’t able to meet her at Eroticon as sadly she was unable to travel to London while her mum was unwell. I so admire the work she puts into all elements of her blog, including Wicked Wednesday.  She has launched Smut Marathon, a writing competition, which starts in January.  Taking on the round up of Wicked Wednesday gave me a tiny insight into the lives of bloggers such as Marie and others who give so much to this community. But also it makes me want to contribute too.

June

In June I posted only twice. In my defence, we were on holiday in Alsace – Lorraine in France for 2 weeks of June. But to be honest I was a little out of ideas and had lost my blogging mojo. Reflections, for Sinful Sunday was an easily captured pair of photos. Perhaps though by looking deeper than the mirror and the person reflected within you consider more about the blogger. Why is she doing this? What is she trying to say? More of that in part 2. Tomorrow.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Erotica and me – getting over the mental block

One of the reasons I wanted to go to Eroticon was to explore the possibility of writing erotic fiction. In the main, my blog has always been about me and my relationships. For much of the past 5 years, there has been plenty of experiences to recount. I am sure that this will continue, but since my relationship with Master is for the longterm real life there is unlikely to be kinky excitement all of the time. Last weekend I struggled to complete the exercises set us by Ashley Lister. I couldn’t think of a 6 word story, kinky or otherwise. Generally my creative brain felt somewhat numb. But it wasn’t always like this.


The teenage years

There was a time when I wrote stories, in longhand in a notebook. My friend  and I wrote about the boys from school, the ones we had a crush on. These were tales of innocent romance, about being noticed and kissed. In our dreamworld we were attractive, we became their girlfriends. There was, as far as I can remember, no actual sex  involved. We were 15 or 16 and pretty naive.

Real life overtook us, real boyfriends were found, Wendy left school and started work, she went out with a number of boys including a very odd distant cousin of mine. Her next boyfriend was older and much more mature. She grew bored with our stories, indeed we grew apart. Her life was more interesting than the fiction we had created.

I also had a boy friend, but for me the exploration of my sexuality and his body meant I wanted to write more. I began to fantasise about what sex could and should be about, without even knowing why. Without even recognising that I wasn’t fulfilled in the way I could have been.

I started my nurse training and my writings became essays about nursing care, anatomy and psychology. Hell, there was no time to think about erotic stories, much less write them. Anyway I was having proper, actual sex. In a single bed, in a nurses home, in London. Boys weren’t allowed in our room after midnight, so I was living on the edge here.


Marriage

At some point soon after I became a married woman I picked up my pen and paper again. Marriage wasn’t quite as I had imagined it to be. I worked shifts at a local hospital, often we saw little of each other. At some point in those first years my hubby strayed with someone at work. He pretended to work late, go out with mates and left me on my own for long periods of time.

Looking back, the stories I created in my A4 notepads were pretty raunchy. There was a lot of sex, often involving more than two people. I explored the idea of lesbian sex, even though I knew that I wasn’t turned on by other women in real life. I brought back the men (previously boys)  that I had a crush on as a teenager. These were now hot-blooded men rather than boys. I had no knowledge of BDSM but did explore being controlled by a man. I guess this was a direct result of needing to exert quite so much control over my own life, back then.


Motherhood

Then I became pregnant, for a while I continued the fantasies. But then I was a mother. Juggling work, family, marriage with an unfaithful man (not that I knew) who was incredibly needy, I had neither the time or the imagination. I threw the books away and got on with life.

From time to time I tried to recreate the stories. In those early days I had been able to almost lose myself in the fantasy of the fiction I had created. But responsibility to work, motherhood and paying the mortgage mean that you need to centre yourself. Once I found the blogosphere I was more interested in describing the world I inhabited (mainly work related) that I forgot about any kind of fiction.


Now

Until this week, I had blocked from my mind that I ever wrote fiction, let alone that it might have involved erotica. But I did. Thinking back, there is no reason that I couldn’t get my brain around a kinky story right now. I have the time, the space and dammit the ability to make this happen. I just need to give myself the permission to do so.

Looking back at our Eroticon weekend

When I left home on Friday to travel to Eroticon I had every intention of writing about it during the weekend. In fact, I ended up having very little time or energy for writing anything. I managed to complete something about our meet and greet experience and then to post a Sinful Sunday.

It has been a full on weekend, even taking account of the fact we took some time out to be on our own. I have been to so many work conferences where I go to everything, all of the time. This time, even though I could quite happily have attended every session, we chose not to. We both needed down time and since work is really so full on right now,that was the right thing to do.

We met lots of new people, and were able to put faces to blog or twitter names. In some ways I wonder if we took everything we could have from the experience. But this being our first experience of Eroticon there is nothing to compare to.

@writtenbyjenny has started a meme, inviting us to write about the ten things I took home from Eroticon. So here goes.


Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon

  1. The chance to mix with other kink friendly folk – It is not often, you meet quite so many people with so much in common in one place. Munches can be great, but I often come away disappointed because I feel I have little in common with those present. At Eroticon our united desire to write for others seemed to cut through individual differences.
  2. The ability to meet new people  – A diverse range of people, all out to have a great time. Many people knew each other, but many more did not. Often people were known to me through blogs and twitter. Meeting those people in person is always interesting, and most often in a good way. Everyone was really friendly, but I do struggle to make the first approach.
  3. A recognition that I need to push myself to actually speak to new people – It’s funny, but Master and I are as bad as each other at this. I suspect that this is for different reasons too. He is an introvert who could probably sit all day in a crowded room without speaking to anyone. While I am an extrovert who finds it difficult to overcome my anxiety about opening my mouth until I know someone. We need to do better, I came away without actually speaking to too many people.
  4. I picked up new ideas and inspiration – I found the session by Ashley Lister on the process of plotting a story really interesting. I love process and a ‘how to’ list. Whether I will need to follow in its entirety remains to be seen, but I sense it will help. The blogging 102 session with Innocent Loverboy was great for the tips on topics. Also for the energy in the room.
  5. I Learnt about myself – Meg John Barker’s session on learning about ourselves through erotic fantasy was probably my favourite over all. I will continue to mull over her ‘zine’ and write more in the coming days.
  6. Lots of fun freebies – As other’s have said, the sponsors did us proud. Great mugs, a lovely book to write in, a chocolate and much more. I didn’t pick up my tee shirts though!
  7. New blogs and websites to track down and read – so many new places to explore and read. Hours of fun and reading.
  8. Learning about the law on erotica past and present – Kate Lister on the history of erotic writing and obscenity and Myles Jackman on current legal issues. Again I plan to write about both in the coming days.
  9. Conversation topics for the whole weekend – We missed a couple of sessions to just be on our own. To have a drink, to walk about Camden. We missed the Saturday social too and had dinner and an evening to ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t talk about what we had seen, heard and discussed in the conference.
  10. A feeling of satisfaction and a desire to return next year –  I really hope we can make it. For us any excuse for a weekend away, but we prefer to have something fun and interesting to do. Eroticon was definitely that.

One thing we might do differently 

We didn’t realise the first session was a panel. So when we walked in at the beginning, we sat near the back. This was a mistake as the panel’s voices, even with a microphones didn’t carry well. Master has hearing problems and could only hear every 4th or 5th word. This led to us leaving early on Sunday as I was pretty sure that he would get frustrated at not being able to hear. I am a little sad, as I think it would have been great to hear people read out their work. But, I do plan to pick up a copy of the Anthology from Amazon as I didn’t manage to pick on up while there.

 

Wine and cocktails – Eroticon Day 1 Part 2

A full day of normal Friday stuff was followed by a dash to the station, a short train and tube journey then a short walk to the hotel. Master and I miraculously arrived at the same time.

A short while later we were in the bar enjoying a complimentary drink in the bar. The weekend had begun! A couple of drinks later and we made our way to Camden Town. This is a particularly busy and cosmopolitan part of London. This is where young people go to party, where many of the established singers bands we know today first played. There are plenty of bars and restaurants, and for this weekend, it is the home of Eroticon.

Just around the corner from Camden Market we found the hotel where the Meet and Greet was taking place. We were a little early, so had a drink in the bar first and watched the first arrivals stroll past.

Into the venue, we collected our passes, grabbed a drink and then mingled a little. We really aren’t good at walking up to people and chatting. I find it especially challenging, despite my extrovert personality. However we did manage to get chatting with a few people before the wonderful Exposing 40 came up and asked if I was MPB. A bit of chat followed, then knowing that we needed dinner and had already drunk a little too much we departed. I would have loved to have stayed to get to know more people, but food was definitely in order.

One of our favourite restaurants in London is a tapas bar near to Waterloo. Since Camden Town station is on the Northern line and that also passes through Waterloo, this was ideal.  The meal was great as usual, we ate a mix of meat, vegetable dishes and salad washed down with some fantastic red wine. The man on the shelf played his guitar and the place buzzed with the usual mix of Friday night revellers.

Back to the hotel and we found ourselves in the bar ordering cocktails. This was probably a bad move, though it felt great at the time. Finally we headed to bed, setting the alarm for an early start.

Part 3 to follow.

Eroticon here we come – Eroticon Diaries Day 1

Eroticon weekend is upon us at last. The countdown clock on the Eroticon website currently stands at almost exactly 1 day to go. Tomorrow we will be up early ready to get started, grabbing a quick coffee and breakfast at our hotel before we head off to the tube. But actually the excitement starts today, at the Meet and Greet event. This is a writing and blogging event for people who write about sex and kink, a journal seems a must. Welcome then to Eroticon Diaries Day 1 (part 1).


Things to do before I leave 

My usual Friday consists of slimming club then time with my mum before meeting up with Master. That bit then will be much the same as usual. This week has been a mixture when it comes to my eating plan. Well, the eating has mostly been good, but too much alcohol has been consumed. I am having a constant debate with myself about what I eat and drink. Membership at the slimming club is fun, I am on the social committee and enjoy helping out. But I am a rubbish slimmer, having lost no weight in a year. Having said that I haven’t put any on either, so onwards and hopefully downwards.

Next will be time to pack my case. I still haven’t decided what to take with me. Decisions will be a spur of the moment thing.

Then off to mum’s. She is having some financial anxieties, mainly caused by my brother. I need to spend time looking into all of that and then there will be shopping. Once she is happy, I will set off for the station and take the Train into London to meet Master at our hotel.


This evening

I am both nervous and excited about meeting conference delegates tonight at the Meet and Greet. It takes place in a hotel around the corner from where the conference will be tomorrow. Luckily I have met Molly and Michael, plus one other couple. I am thankful though that Master will be with me as I won’t know anyone else. While I am an outgoing person, I do find it difficult to interact with people I have never met. Small talk is not something I find particularly easy. What is more, I feel a little in awe of some of the people who will be there. People who are accomplished bloggers and authors and me, just an ordinary person who dabbles. Of course, there will be lots of other people in the same position, I know that.

But, for all the anxiety, I am very excited. About tonight and the whole weekend. More later.

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