Reclaimed

The title of this post is intended to describe the way that two elements of this girl’s life have been brought back into line. The first is her blog and the second is the Master slave relationship that she enjoys.

This blog

Since the holiday in Spain over Christmas, I have slightly lost the momentum and focus for this place. Creative juices have not really been flowing,  and posts have become superficial and short. Partly because there hasn’t felt like much going on that has been worthy of a deeper discussion and also because the blogging mojo which we all need to write has been absent. So, despite the fact that I have posted here regularly over the past few months, much of the content has been through participation in projects and memes. I have really enjoyed February photofest, though I have been less creative this year than last and have struggled with motivation. Luckily I had a few pictures that I hadn’t shared before plus a Master who took a few more. However I couldn’t quite find the energy and  will power to quite see it to the end and last Sunday’s photo was my last. During the intervening days I have been thinking about my blog, its purpose and how I plan to use it in the future.

It feels like time to draw a line and to refocus on what this place is about – it is somewhere I can share my inner most thoughts and where I can discuss aspects of my life and the journey Master and his slave travel. That isn’t to say that I won’t participate in more projects and memes, it just means I have realised it is time to reclaim my blog for the purpose I intended it. Even when there is little going on in our lives there is always something happening in my head that requires reflection and analysis. I also know that Master likes me to write some of that here, since it will often be about things we don’t easily and readily discuss in real life. So, I make no apologies for abandoning my participation in February Photofest and am proud of the photos I did post. Now on with the blog.

Reclaiming His slave

Despite being a middle aged woman, she is always His slave. She wears His collar 24 hours a day and can always feel it around her neck and she always remembers its purpose, as a symbol of the relationship, His ownership of her and the power He has and exerts over her. Other than this symbol, there is often nothing for anyone to see that sets this relationship out as different from any other. But the people in this relationship know that there are fundamental differences, and that these need to be worked on to be maintained. Regular life means work, it means spending time with family and friends and it means doing things together. It means eating and sleeping and it means having sex. The sex always has overtones of M/s but often they are subtle.

Sometimes like with this blog, there is a need to review a relationship and to reassert its meaning to those within it. For us that reclamation happened last night and this morning. That is not to say that there has been anything wrong, but just that looking back now, it was something that needed to happen.

Sex which happens late at night, and which is heavily laden with lust is a little different from sex in the morning when rested, sober and is almost planned. Much of the time our sex falls into the latter type, this time we had both. However, it wasn’t just about the sex, but about the acknowledgement of positions as Master and slave. A declaration of what being Master’s slave means to both, and actions which demonstrate that. Last night this slave was used for Master’s pleasure, she clearly stated her understanding of the fact she is there to be taken and used and that she is His pleasure bitch. This slave also reaffirmed that she has no limits, save those that Master decides upon. The sex was hot, but there was more to the session than hot sex. Drink had been involved too, so this morning, in the sober light of day, events and their meanings were restated and then there was more hot sex.

One of the most important aspects of this Master / slave dynamic is the use of this girl’s orgasms as a way of controlling events. He can make her cum on demand and He can also prevent her from coming until He is ready. Another is the use of names – that she is the slut or cunt and that He is the Master and the Lord.

The key thing about the past 24 hours is that this girl can say that Master has reclaimed His girl and that they have both reaffirmed their clear commitment to the dynamic that they have and enjoy.

The other good thing is that there is lots more to write about in the reclaimed blog!

Cum slut

He woke with what he described as a boner. She noticed by accident as her hand brushed his lower body. For a while she sat caressing his smooth hardness while she browsed some blogs. He asked if she was enjoying herself, she definitely was.

She closed the laptop lid and lay down. He ran his hand over her soft hairy mound and then leaned down to inspect more closely. Within moments his tongue was running over her clitoris and the feelings of arousal began. He asked if she wanted to cum, of course she did and so he began a count of 10. That first orgasm of the day is always an amazing feeling, it often opens the flood gates of desire for more and more. Luckily for this girl, Master believes in making her into his cum slut and in taking as many orgasms as he can. Within moments came a nipple orgasm, sucking and using his tongue he brought her off quickly.

At his request, she climbed on top of him. The large cock teasing her as it found its way into the tight entrance. She felt it slide in and then Master used his fingers to further excite her. She ground herself down on those fingers, then lifted up so that the cock could slide in and out. Another orgasm was ripped from her body and she felt herself begin to float.

Lying down now, they stroked each other for a while. Master played with his girl and also stroked his own cock. She stroked his lovely hard balls. After a few minutes he told her to spread and next he plunged into her again. Arousal coursed through her and this time he told her the count was 20! She repeated the word Twenty with incredulity. But being the good slave that she tries to be, she concentrated on him and his cock rather than her own need until he counted down to 5. Then she allowed the sensations to rise in herself and gave him the orgasm he desired.

He asked her if she would like it if they were together always and she could spend her days as his sex slave. Not needing to make decisions, dressing to please him, always being ready for him. A 24/7 cum slut; who wouldn’t want that?

The morning after – hangover cure

This girl felt a little lot hungover when she woke pretty early, the morning after the quiet night in before. She got up to pee and also took something for the headache and lay down wondering if she might be sick. Luckily as she lay remembering the harness and events, the feelings began to subside and she began to doze happily. Sleep was what she needed and then once she awoke again she would feel fine. She had not bargained on Master waking at that moment and informing her that he felt fine and in fact, was feeling horny.  

Master’s hands moved over his slave’s body, pausing over her nipples, rubbing and squeezing them. This girl knew that while she might prefer to sleep, that wasn’t really an option, therefore she opened her legs so that He could access his property more easily. She was already wet – no surprise of course, this girl’s body often gives her away. Pausing to taste her pussy, moments later He thrusted inside her. For all this slave told herself that this wasn’t what she really wanted at this moment, her body continued to give her away and she found her hips arching in response. Master reminded her of the numerous orgasms that she had given Him the night before, and informed her that she had many more to give.
He was right of course and she found that they were released easily. This girl began to feel a little spaced out as her submission took over and she gave Master what He wanted. On top now, she ground into Him, rubbing herself on his pelvis as she moved on top of Him. He in turn squeezed her now hard nipples, informing her that they were harder than He had ever seen them. Eventually she lady beside Him and slave and Master slept for a while. This girl felt relaxed and happy in her slave space and suddenly not a bit hung over. Master in turn seemed pretty satisfied.
An hour or so later, both were awake again and Master was ready to deliver His prize to her. She wondered where he would deliver it. He took her from behind and once again she felt the animal desires of arousal engulf her again as she orgasmed for Him again. Then she took Him in her mouth, before He decided to release His load onto her slutty body, onto the mound of pubic hair she is required to keep for Him.
As they lay together again, this girl remembered some more about the previous night; the golden shower she had taken, and the instruction that there is no need for her to wear clothes on her lower half when at home with Master. Today she wore a dress, but knows that another day, just a top will suffice. Something that shows off her slutty body and which is accessible to Him. Those thoughts turn this girl on and carrying out His requirements will do that too.

The harness

Master loves to frame this girl’s tits in a harness and have her sit naked except for the leather, and of course the collar. He loves to have access to his girl’s body and to touch and to play with her while He watches a film.

For her part, this girl finds wearing this kind of harness arousing. The feel of the collar, which restricts her neck movements, and holds her head up in the correct posture. The framing of her tits as they sit proudly on display for His enjoyment.

Master believes that his slave should always be ready for use and spending time wearing the harness makes her ready and what is more, He wasted no time in making use of her. He took numerous orgasms from her slutty body, sending her deep into the slave space they both love her to inhabit. A place where His power and dominance shine through for them both to see and to feel.

For us, M/s is all about those things. It is about His control and her deep submission to that control. The harness helps this girl to find her inner slut, the exhibitionist and what is more it makes Him horny.

You may notice from this photo that Master managed to get the harness inside out this time, it can be a bit complicated after a glass of wine or three.

Nakedness

This girl has been losing weight, not as quickly as she would like, but slowly and surely. There have been times that she hasn’t wanted to see herself naked, though of course, she can never hide herself from Master. He has begun to recognise that she is serious about this and is encouraging the positive behaviours that will help (i.e. He is taking this girl to places where choices will be easier and reminding her of the rules relating to making Him pleased and proud of her) which is generally enough.

Today, this girl wore just two items of clothing – some cotton trousers and a top. Tonight after dinner, which Master had cooked, she stripped off, without being asked, for His pleasure.

For the first time in months this girl feels happy sitting naked as she types this. She feels happy to present herself as Master, her Lord’s slut and slave (not that she isn’t always pleased to be His slave). But tonight at last, she feels proud. Her reward has been several orgasms. Plus His pleasure in touching His property, in objectifying her and in taking the orgasms that He owns.

On days like this, a slave can wonder why it is that she doesn’t spend more of her time naked for His pleasure. Of course, life tends to get in the way. But since she is here to serve, she is here to be the person He wants and needs; and naked is what He wants.

A naked girl sits beside her Master right now. While He is fully clothed.

That is the natural order of life for this slave.

Slutty girl

This weekend has definitely been characterised by this girl’s relaxed but slutty behaviour. Master has said that it seemed that this girl needed to express herself in this way, and of course as usual He is right. 
This photo shows this girl, in her liberated state, nipple piercing showing. This is a look and feel, that this girl loves.

This girl’s submission

A lot is being written about submission at the moment, much of it in the context of the whole 50 Shades of Grey hype. It has been good to see articles in newspapers and magazines written by those who live this lifestyle themselves. It has also led to a number of bloggers writing on the topic themselves.

For this girl, deciding to write about her submission is less about any outside influences, although they have been thought provoking. Actually this is about something within, about a sense that this girl’s submission is developing further. Partly this is because Master is pushing this girl to explore her limits, but also that she wants to do so.
To begin with submission felt like a desire, a want. Something to try. It was possible to switch it on and off, to be Master’s girl when they were together, and then to get on with real life. Pretty soon though this girl realised that it wasn’t so easy to put it out of her mind. Overtime it has become a need.

Part of this is structured through the contract. Within it, this girl needs to consider Master’s view on the things she does. She needs at all times to wonder whether He would be happy with what she is saying or doing, whether He would be proud of her actions and behaviours. This has at times caused this girl to act differently than she would previously. It also gives her cause to reflect on her actions afterwards. Whenever Master says good bye to this girl, whether in person or say on Skype (which is how they communicate during the working week), He tells this girl to be good. She often laughs this off, but actually it is important. It is a reminder. He is not particularly hot on punishment, for that this girl is glad and grateful. But this doesn’t mean she wilfully misbehaves anyway.
Then there is the way in which we address each other. He is Master and that is what this girl calls Him. Sometimes she almost refers to Him as Master to others; family members or colleagues. In her own head she thinks of Him as Master, because that is who and what He is. Master always refers to this girl as girl. She is pretty sure that is the way He thinks of her, as His girl. During play or sex, this girl often calls Him Lord. He loves her to refer to Him in this way. There was a time when this girl laughed in the face of such a title, but not any more. In this relationship, this girl needs to consider the respect with which she treats her Master. Gradually He is also becoming her Daddy, as He guides her and teaches her the ways of His world. To Him this girl is a bitch or a slut. She loves to be called these names and He loves it when she refers to herself in this way.

For much of the time we have been together, this relationship has been conducted in private. First in play and in the bedroom and then within the confines of our homes. This doesn’t mean that Master hasn’t always touched His girl – a feel of her bottom or nipple for example – while they are out in public. This girl is required to dress without underwear when we are together, unless she seeks permission. Master prefers access to this girl’s body at all times, though He is relaxed about her wearing trousers etc during winter. The feel of His hand on this girl’s bare bottom as we walk along together helps to remind her of her submission, what is more, she finds it arousing and she loves Him to turn her on in this way. Now though we are branching out, we have started to attend a local munch regularly and this girl has asked Master to consider a play party for them to attend soon. When it happens, it will be her first time playing in public in front of others and also to watch other people. This girl feels that it will be an important step for her, but probably something she needs to do.

This girl’s submission is increasingly about the power that Master has taken from her and which He exerts over her. It is an ever present aspect of their relationship together. For Master, the power exchange is what arouses Him, indeed it is at the core of who He is. He doesn’t look for, nor get any kind of doormat, but we both know who is in charge in this relationship. For the first time in her life, this girl is able to go through whole days of her life without making much in the way of a decision. This is highly liberating for someone who thought she was a control freak. Often in restaurants these days, this girl barely glances at the menu, and never bothers to look at the wine list since she never chooses the wine anyway. That power exchange though is not always an overt thing, something that can be seen by others, it is implicit, at the centre of who we are, an ever present undercurrent to our everyday life.

Master’s kinks are increasingly becoming this girl’s kinks. Luckily, she is willing to try most things once (at least), she trusts that He will keep her safe and so puts herself into His safe hands. So when she dresses for His pleasure, when she lies down in the playroom and He experiments with the new attachments on His violent wand, when she pisses on Him or he on Her the pleasure He feels becomes hers. This girl is there for Him, to be used yes, but also to reap the benefits and to enjoy her submission.

There are outward signs of ownership; the piercings and the bracelet. In the future there will very likely be a tattoo of some kind and hopefully a collar. He would like a slave with very short hair, maybe shaved, He may not get that from this girl (but never say never).

But really this girl’s submission is not about those things. This submissive craves Master’s Dominance and He her submission. Who knows where all of this is going to lead? Maybe it is about the journey though, not the ultimate destination.

Exposing myself

Over the past week I have posted some very personal photos which in turn reveal intimate details of my life with Master in a way that words don’t.

I think that my ability to do that comes from the fact that I am happy with the relationship I have with Master right now and that He wants me to show this side of myself. A number of the photos were taken by Him and have already appeared on His Tumblr blog.

He is keen for me to be relaxed in my body and often my nakedness so that I can be the slut He wants. For most of the past year it has been an expectation that I wear no underwear when we are together unless I expressly ask permission. As a middle aged woman, this has taken some getting used to. My body remains reasonably for a menopausal woman of my age and while I am not in any way prudish, it takes guts to overcome years of wearing underwear and to relax enough not to care about what people see or know. Increasingly I am of the opinion that most people are so self absorbed that they don’t notice others. Difficult to acknowledge when, like me you notice others, but I think this is the case.

Being available for Him to touch and to get pleasure from my body is important to Him and so to me. By agreeing to become His slave I handed over the power and responsibility for what happens to my body to him. I trust Him to keep me safe, but also have the knowledge that arousing Him is also likely to turn me on. More than that, He is committed to me giving myself to Him in all ways.

Today’s photo was one I sent Him when we agreed I would become His slave. You will see that I still have very little hair. That situation has changed and is another rule.

February Photofest – day 3 – Bare

Given the subzero temperatures right now, I am pleased to say that this photo was taken early last summer. We were out for the day at a beautiful country estate and gardens on a warm and sunny afternoon.
It is a rule that when I am with Master, I don’t wear underwear without permission. He prefers to have easy access to my body and I am happy with that particular situation. There is something both thrilling and scary about being almost naked in public, what is more, feeling His hand on your bare bottom as you stand in close proximity to other people is very arousing. 

In this photo we were hidden from others, but of course, ran the risk that at any moment someone could come into that particular building and see what Master was taking a photo of. During these cold days, I look forward to a time when it is warm enough to bare my arse in public again.