What inspires me to write about sex?

Writing cat | Public domain vectors

By it’s very nature reading and writing about sex can be both liberating and exciting. That if the sex being written about is interesting and exciting. For many years there was no mileage in writing about my own sex life. It was dull, bordering on non existent. But as I wrote in my last post, starting a new sexual journey made me want to write about my experiences.

Writing about real life experiences

It took me a while to get into my stride. I was overwhelmed by the emotion of it all and so struggled to write down details. I still do to a certain extent. But at least with real life experiences you know what has and hasn’t been possible (see below). Plus, the emotion of a sexual experience is just as important as the physical and physiological effects in my opinion. Unless you are writing pure porn I guess. But I’m more of an erotica lover. Plus I prefer to ground myself in reality rather than fantasy.

Once I met Master things changed slightly. Unlike S, Master reads all my posts and will often go back to review what I said about a particular event. So, increasingly writing had him in mind. I couldn’t and can’t always get events in the right order, after all I’m not writing as I do it! But he often remarks at how hot what I’ve written is.

So, the next reason is to get the audience hot. After all, who doesn’t like to be told that what they have written is sexually arousing. If you are a sex blogger anyway.

Improving on some of the fiction that’s out there

There is some amazing erotic fiction to read. Plus all of the how to manuals. But there is also some absolute rubbish. Some people seem unable to work through questions such as is it physically possible before putting pen to paper. The use of odd euphemisms in erotic fiction is something that The Other Livvy has picked up on. There is little that turns me off more than being unable to describe people’s anatomy and actions without using completely unbelievable phraseology.

So, one of the inspirations for writing about sex, whether based on real life events or fiction is to do better. After language, plot and characters feels pretty important. Why are so many books based on the lives of super rich men seeking to find a young bimbo to be their sex toy? Why are there so many young girls out there who crave submission? Who moments later can be found kneeling naked for their boss or tied to a bench? Of course there is plenty of gay erotica, but I don’t doubt that these dynamics are replicated.

I’m nearly 58 years old and I want to read about people who are older. Who have been through some of life’s problems and who don’t think that money is the answer to everything. Many of my fellow bloggers write brilliant erotica as well as about their own true life events. Good printed / e-book erotica is out there but you can do far worse than some of that written by the sex bloggers and writers we know. People like Brigit Delaney, Cara Theron and Floss, to name but 3.

Education

Finally I write about sex to help educate others. As I’ve written above, real life isn’t always like in books and magazines. We aren’t all young and skinny with a crazy libido. Not all penis owners have huge cocks. People experience pain and discomfort, people fund themselves unable to come. Not everyone loves to suck cock or to have anal sex. What’s more, it’s possible for a well educated woman of 50 to have little in the way of sexual experience.

That means it’s important to write about real sex and relationships. To explore and celebrate the great experiences, but not to ignore the bad or difficult.

I guess following on from my post yesterday wondering where I am going on my blog. Maybe this post is another step to finding out who I am and what my purpose is. Writing about sex for me is about detailing my own experiences, thinking about the experiences of others and hopefully helping to educate.

Keep believing

Keep believing

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is: Don’t Stop Believin. But, because I’m such a positive person, I’ve decided my post will be entitled Keep Believing.

I love our community and the way is sticks together and supports each other. Of course we are all different, from our relationships, gender and sexual preferences politics and our take on life. But in the main that doesn’t prevent us from coming together when we need to. I’m especially looking forward to Eroticon at the end of next week and meeting up with friends as well as new people. Putting faces to names is always great fun as is discussing the topics we write about face to face. That includes when a drink or two has been consumed.

But recently there have been undercurrents of unhappiness that not everyone is kind and understanding towards everyone’s differences. So much so that last week a tiny event caused a storm. I’m not going to go into that whole thing, but Rosie wrote a fabulous piece that sums up events. She also includes some very useful links in her post. That should be the end of things, except I’m left with a bad feeling.

Free speech

Indeed for me it isn’t the direct responses to any post. As a writer I can write what I want here and people can read or not. They can also comment, or not. It is rare I don’t publish a comment so if you don’t like what I say I’m not censuring. But it isn’t on blog posts where most disagreement takes place. Instead it is on twitter, often without the subject being part of the conversation.

I’d be the first to admit I struggle to understand the desires and needs of people who are very different to me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t read their perspective with interest. I often don’t comment because I don’t believe I am the right person to do so. I am a middle aged CIS heterosexual woman who doesn’t fancy other women. Nor do I understand how it is to realise you are bi sexual or gay, much less non binary. But I do respect other people’s experiences and love to read about them.

Content warnings

Thankfully I have never suffered physical abuse (though I increasingly see my ex as emotionally abusive). I recently started reading a very well written book that turns out to be all about physical, emotional and financial abuse. I’m finding it difficult to read even though I want to. I’m not triggered, as I’ve never experienced the things that are happening in the book. But it is uncomfortable. I first wrote about content warnings in this post. It was a stupid thing that triggered me, but it did get me thinking and that in my book is a good thing. Since then, when I see one I do consider whether I want to read on. My experience shows that these things can creep up on you.

For me one of the worst things about the episode has been that people describe others as snowflakes or use the term Boomer in a derogatory way. These are things I hate. I’m a Boomer myself and don’t want myself lumped together with people others determined as bigots. Nor do I like millennials called snowflakes since my son is one and I believe him to be sensitive and thoughtful partly because I brought him up that way.

Social media etiquette

Twitter can be an evil and upsetting place. But it can also be a place of support and encouragement. As members of the sex blogging community, we could easily be set upon by trolls who don’t understand or care for our point of view. But instead we choose to attack each other. Personally I want a kinder community than that.

And I will keep believing that is the community we all want. One that is kind, that respects individual difference and people’s desire to be referred to in the way they feel appropriate. A community that acknowledges mistakes and then moves on. Otherwise we are no better than those who would attack us for having the audacity to write about sex or kink. Finally, if you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face even after a drink, then don’t say it on twitter.

Books of my childhood

Inside pages from the book Mrs Cockle's Cat

I loved reading as a child and still do. I bought books with my pocket money and borrowed them from the library. At Christmas I often received a book or two from various aunts and uncles as well as grandparents. They usually wrote inside the cover so that you knew they had bought them for you.

This week’s Food 4 Thought is about One Book from our childhood. Goodness me, what a tough task. There were and still are so many. I kept many of my childhood books and now have them on the shelves in my little office. They sit among my adulthood favourites, books on nursing and leadership and many more. Including books my son discarded at the end of his own childhood but I can’t bear to part with. That includes a number of Roald Dahl books. I still have Enid Blyton famous 5, What Katy Did, Little Women (and the rest of the series). More contemporary books (from the 1970s) like It shouldn’t happen to a vet which became All Creatures Great and Small. But the book I wanted to talk about – The Girl in the Opposite Bed by Honor Arundel.

I don’t know where it has gone, but am sure I wouldn’t have thrown it out. Maybe there’s another box in the garage I haven’t unpacked yet. This was a book about a girl who is in hospital for a week or two. While there she encounters a girl she doesn’t like at first but whom eventually becomes her friend. But I can’t remember the exact story and can’t check it since it is out of print.

That book helped to define me in terms of my future career. Because after reading The Girl in the Opposite Bed I moved on to books about nurses (especially the Sue Barton stories). As well as others about people who were sick or injured. I must have been a fun loving adolescent!

One book I still have, that is older than The Girl in the Opposite Bed would be is Mrs Cockle’s Cat by Philippa Pearce. This is important not because of the story, though it is a good one about an elderly lady and her cat. But because I was given it as an award at primary school. I wrote a story and won a book.

Since then I’ve continued to write, but mostly for my own pleasure. As I’ve mentioned before I used to write stories in longhand as a teenager and young adult. But until I entered the Smut Marathon in 2018 I hadn’t submitted my fiction to any other competitions. Over the years I’ve lost my confidence in writing fiction and I no longer find it as easy as writing non fiction. Thinking about it, I’m maybe just a bit out of practice.

Next year I’m going to be much more specific about my goals. Later in the month I’ll publish those goals and writing fiction will be amongst them. Because if I could win a prize at around 10 years of age I’m pretty sure I can write something worth while at 57.

F4Thought

Multitask?

Hardly! I can barely do one thing at a time.

That is partially true. I am better at being efficient and effective when I focus on that thing and get it done than when I try to do 2 or 3 things at once. But of course life doesn’t allow us the luxury of concentrating on that one thing and then moving on.

Work, managing a family, social life and blogging all require attention. But if I don’t work out what I need to do and get on with it, I am likely to try to do everything at once. Not literally perhaps, though I do often have several windows on my laptop open at once and of course there’s that important WhatsApp message to check. Next I remember I promised to call my mum and then there is the washing to take out of the machine. (Break here while I go and do it).

Planning

The secret to being productive is planning. I started the year with a fabulous planner and faithfully planned out whole months and then weeks of activity. For about half the year this worked well. I kept track of appointments (lots of them at hospitals), social events, birthdays and my blogging plans. But then life got busy, I took some paid work and things went wrong. I concentrated on the project (I did the planning) and got that done. I still managed to blog, but found it difficult to find the brain capacity for both. Next I went on holiday. Since then I’ve hardly planned anything other than in my head. Appointments are in the diary (often put there by Master), but blogging is more haphazard.

Multitasking in the way I have been doing lately is tiring. Keeping most plans in my head is crazy as I am not doing things in the right order. Plus I am forgetting important (though small) tasks.

Goal setting

When I finished work last year, I had all sorts of plans in mind. To have a prolonged break from the stress of the workplace. To travel and to write. I wanted to see if I could make money from writing. None of this stuff was written down, which is why I got the planner. But I hadn’t factored in the small issue of discovering I had breast cancer and requiring treatment and recovery from it.

Now though I am ready to set goals again and to plan the coming weeks and months. I have a new planner for 2020 and I am going to use it.

I’ve just listed to Molly and Kayla’s latest podcast about setting goals as well as other’s recently about planning and planners. So in theory I am ready. I have ideas I want to put in place, new exciting projects I want to embark on. This week I have found myself steaming ahead to do one of them, only to be stymied by internet problems. This led to multitasking in a way that is not efficient and fruitful as I tried to sort it out.

But while at a classical music event last night I worked out what I need to do (I find piano music particularly useful for this). Set goals and plan. Then do.

You see, as I said at the top, I can’t really multitask. I can barely do one thing at a time. So I will leave multitasking to those who can.

During the writing of this post I drank tea, put the washing into the tumble dryer, went in search of my laptop lead and checked a news story online. Plus chatted to Master who has just returned from the shop.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Reclaiming my blogging mojo

I’ve been struggling since the start of summer to get back into the swing of blogging. To regain my mojo. February, April and June were busy with daily (or almost) posts to keep up with various themes. I love to do these, but they are time consuming and tiring. They also use up a hell a lot of mental capacity to think and write.

So when I went on holiday in July I was pretty exhausted. I also took with me some paid work that needed completing by the end of that month. Despite having my laptop with me and having time to write I didn’t really feel in the mood for blogging.

Since returning home at the end of August I have continued to find ideas difficult to come by. I’ve mainly stuck to weekly memes, but constantly worry that I am repeating myself, sometimes more than once.

Becoming a Smutlancer

When I saw that Kayla and Molly had set up a Patreon group to support a community of writers and bloggers I decided to join. My thoughts back in early summer were that I would try to build the confidence to try to make more of my blog and maybe even get paid for writing. And while as I said above I have done little to make these things happen, I have enjoyed being part of a group. For $10 I get access to a Slack group and monthly Skype calls led by Kayla and Molly. They and the group as a whole through these two media have helped me begin to feel ready to get going once again. During the last call I realised that imposter syndrome is much more of an issue for me than I had imagined.

But ideas are also an issue. As is my frustration at not really wanting to write and not understanding why.

Using podcasts to help me reflect on my blogging

Increasingly I like to listen to the spoken word on a car journey. Certainly longer ones, like the two hours it takes to get to my mum’s. I’ve listened to a number of audio books during this time and on other occasions podcasts.

Yesterday I listened to the two most recent Smutlancer podcasts. In the first Molly and Kayla discussed burn out and the second Molly and Michael talked blog site statistics. I didn’t know before hand, but these two posts went so well together. My first lightbulb moment was in recognising that I have been burnt out. The punishing schedule of writing I set myself from January onwards pretty much wiped me out. No wonder I have struggled to string words together on a page. Both offered strategies they use for managing this issue. I came away with some thoughts for how I might avoid this in future. Or else forgive myself and allow a break to happen.

The interesting thing is that my blog stats took their usual dip in July and August and have begun to recover. There is a definite correlation between writing and traffic, but not to the extent you might think. Becoming obsessed with statistics is something Molly suggests we avoid. Micheal explained the webmaster tools available to review site traffic and then both discussed ways of using the information to decide what to write.

When I got home

The first thing I did (after lunch) was to examine my WordPress statistics and then to look at google analytics and webmaster. These gave me some key clues as to the posts that get best traffic and the words people use to find my blog. I have over 7 years of posts here on my blog and that is a lot of words! Just this year I have published over 200 posts and some years I have been even more prolific. This gives me a wonderful opportunity to plan posts going forward. Some will easily link to the weekly memes out there and others will be separate. The words and phrases such as ‘slave wife blog’, ‘BDSM slave blog’, ‘sex slave blog’, to name a few will certainly take me back to the roots and beginning of my blog.

So what is the purpose of this post? Firstly to share my new found excitement and enthusiasm and secondly to offer advice. If you need help and inspiration then go to the Smutlancer website for articles and podcasts. If you like the human interaction and can afford it join the Smutlancer community. Be kind to yourself and plan. For me, well I think it really is time to develop my blog, write more and pitch!

Why I blog – to write and to read

There is something about writing here on my blog and posting my words online that I love. I have kept various diaries and journals over the years, but tended not to continue them for long. Blogging involves not only writing but reading the words of others and interacting with those writers. That is something that appeals to me.

Writing

My first blog was about my work environment. The health service is always subject to change and blogging was a way of expressing my views about it. I saw that other nurses and medics were doing the same and thought why not. I loved the anonymity and ability to express myself. Writing was something I had always enjoyed but I was surprised to find others read and commented on my ramblings.

This was somehow different from writing papers and reports for work, at last my own voice was emerging. This was a space for me to give my opinion as well as to compare my experiences with those of others.

I’ve explained before that when I started this blog I deleted my work related one. I have to admit I still regret doing so, but was worried about being double discovered.

This blog started during another period of change, this time more personal. I wrote about my own voyage of discovery – infidelity, a new relationship, my sexuality and exposing kink. So much was wizzing around in my head that I needed to write it down. And since I had the experience of my original blog, what better way to journal than through a blog.

Reading

I started off writing for myself, to express my own thoughts and feelings. But I barely wrote anything without also reading the words of others. My real life kink exporation took place while reading the books and blogs of others. My thirst for knowledge and information was immense. I was reassured to find that I wasn’t the only one to discover a side to themselves they didn’t previously know about. To experience a sexual awakening. Reading other people’s work made me want to write more. Whether in response to something I’d read or because I’d had my own new idea.

I’m still in contact with a few of the people I ‘met’ through my first blog and while none of them still blog, we are facebook friends. I’d love to have met some of them, but know it probably won’t happen. I never imagined when I started this blog that I would become part of a community. That I would meet my fellow bloggers and make new friends along the way.

Writing for self or for others

For the first couple of years I was really writing for myself and about myself. I interacted with other bloggers, but only knew them through the blog. S got to know about the blog after a year or so, but wasn’t massively interested in it. He read it and liked what he read. But when things between us changed I didn’t really need to worry that he would be upset by what I wrote. In hindsight I could have been much more open and honest about our relationship. Instead I mainly wrote about the sex which happened infrequently. I didn’t write about the long periods of silence from him or the fact that I was struggling to work out what to do with my life.

When I met Master I told him about my blog and he began to read. He has never stopped reading. He often reads back to the beginning of our relationship and he always reads new posts and comments. Over time this has inevitably made me write for him as well as myself. Also it has meant I have censored myself from writing things that might cause him upset. I am also careful to protect elements of our relationship that he, I or we would rather others didn’t know.

The run up to my moving here to live with him was difficult as both our emotions ran high. But I didn’t write much about that. Looking back, it was probably tiredness as much as anything.

Writing a personal diary

I would say that my breast cancer diagnosis changed my writing and it’s purpose. It was easier to tell people I had come to know and respect online and in person through my blog. I wanted to express my feelings to myself and to Master in a way that I couldn’t verbalise. But also I knew that I might want to look back on those times afterwards.

At times I struggled with the thought that the purpose of this blog was to write about our relationship journey. About kink and sex. But with encouragement from fellow bloggers and of course Master I realised that I can write about anything that is important to me at a given time.

After all, this blog started as a personal account. It was a diary of sorts when my husband discovered my infidelity and later when I navigated the challenges of a poly relationship.

Writing for others

Many people have commented that my cancer journey blogs may help others. That is hopefully the case, but they were written more for myself. When I write for a meme prompt I usually do so because I have something to say on the topic. But sometimes I admit to writing because I want to participate. That is definitely true of new memes and also month long challenges such as the Blogging A-Z.

Recently when on holiday I realised that I had writing fatigue. So, I made a conscious decision not to blog. I worried that I was missing memes and that people would stop visiting. But I believe that you should not only write but read too. So finding myself without the time to read, I decided not to blog either. And I feel better and more energised for it.

Eroticon and Smut Marathon

Both Eroticon, the annual writers and bloggers conference and Smut Marathon the now annual writing competition have influenced my writing. Apart from individual blogs and websites, these are key external influences.

Eroticon provided me the opportunity to learn more about sex and erotic writing as well as meet like minded people. It has also made me see that my work is recognised and valued by others. Meeting fellow writers in person and having face to face conversations with them has spurred me to keep writing and posting.

Smut Marathon gave me the chance to push myself to write fiction, something I don’t find easy to do. The competition challenged me to emerge from the comfort zone of factual and opinion pieces. It also opened me up to criticism that I hadn’t experienced though blogging. I enjoyed participating but am not sure whether I would do so again. However, it did show that I can write fiction to a reasonable level. This is something I will challenge myself to do more of this autumn.

So in conclusion…

I write for me and for Master. I write for those who engage with me. But without the work of others to read and comment on there would be little for me to write about. I doubt I would have continued this blog if no one every visited or engaged with me. It would have lasted as long as my paper journals, usually half way through January.

#F4TFriday

#SoSS November 2018

It is a very long time since I wrote a #SoSS. It isn’t that I don’t read and comment on other blogs, I do. But I am not so good at getting my shit together to work out which ones I want to share. Let alone writing about it. But in an attempt to start my new years resolutions early I’m planning to write one each month.

It was reading this post of May’s about shadow banning that prompted me. When I was shadow banned, it irritated the hell out of me. Lately though since I have other things to worry about it had all slipped my mind. I’m picking up new followers so I don’t think I am on the banned list right now. I shall make a point of sharing more posts on Twitter though so that they get seen. 

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt was writing, it was great to read about everyone’s writing and blogging history. I particularly loved Modesty’s post (and accompanying photo), and hadn’t realised she had published her Modest Diaries. They certainly seem worth a read. Also worth checking out is Floss’s post. Not only is she a wonderful writer of fiction and non fiction, she is also a poet. I am in awe of the talent that is out there amongst our blogging community. 

On the theme of writing, the Smut Marathon reaches the final voting round tomorrow. I haven’t written any fiction since the round where I got knocked out. The monthly assignments certainly made me get on with writing and I know my style and content improved over time. Marie will be running the competition again next year (as she tells us in her #SoSS today) and entries open quite soon. I am undecided as yet whether to enter. But I will give it serious consideration. 

when I write these blog sharing posts, I try to include something new. I didn’t so much find The happy Kinky Couple, as they found me to ask to swap links, which I am happy to do. They are a couple, like us in their 50’s who found kink relatively recently and have just begun to write about it. Their blog can be found here – go have a read. 

Finally I would like to thank everyone for the support you have given me over the past couple of months. Discovering I have breast cancer is the definitely the worst thing that has happened to me and to us. The love and support from fellow bloggers and twitter folk has been a great help. I plan to continue to write my weekly diary. It is important for me to be able to describe the physical and emotional effects. But also, as many people have said it may help others in the future. This is the link to the posts (if I can’t self promote on my own blog, then where can I)? I don’t know if people are ready to see my new body, but I am almost ready to share. But that will be on another day. 


Writing

I have always enjoyed writing

When I was 8 I was entered into a writing competition at school and won a good called ‘Mrs Cockle’s Cat’ for my troubles. I had a vivid imagination as a child, and preferred to create my own fiction, rather than keeping to exactly what the teacher might have wanted. So much so, that in a music competition at aged 11, I made up a tune rather than follow the one on the page in front of me. I found my own life dull and so also told ‘tales’ of a more exciting existence. At some point during my secondary school years though I realised I had to start to be truthful and also produce the work requested. But that didn’t stop me and a friend writing romantic fiction about the boys we fancied. But we restricted our activities to evenings and weekends.

Once in nursing school

My life became about writing patient notes and reports, plus of course essays and course work. There was little time to continue creating fiction and anyway I had my own boyfriend by then. Plus nursing friends with interesting relationships and patients who led fascinating lives (well one or two of them did). My writing was forced to take on a factual side and what’s more it could no longer be based on my opinion.

Some time in my early 20’s I began to write fiction again. As before, I wrote in longhand in notebooks. This time, given that I was already married but bored with the long hours my husband worked, the romance became a little more raunchy. Sex had been a bit of an anticlimax in my own reality and so I became creative on the page. Looking back it is amazing that I was able to write such erotica given my lack of experience. Remember that back then, there was no access to the wealth of information we have today. Mind you at least I was aware of anatomy because of my nursing experience. Once I had my son there was little time for writing for pleasure. I was soon back working full time, studying for a degree and looking after him. My hands were full enough.

At some point in the 90’s we got ourselves a computer in the house

Soon after I found myself helping my son to create his own website about his favourite cartoon characters. I impressed myself, as well as him when it actually worked. Not long after that I discovered blogger and began my first blog. This was based on my work, by now nursing management. I wrote mainly opinion pieces and some that were researched as well as a kind of academic diary. In fact, I later used the blog as the basis for my reflective practice aspect for the Masters I was studying at the time.

My work over the past few years has involved a lot of writing – reports, papers, proposals and the like. Some long and in-depth. I have enjoyed constructing them, though not always the deadlines. But it feels as if the creativity I once had is somewhat buried beneath facts. My attempts at writing fiction on this blog while well received haven’t been easy to produce. I have much more time to write the things I want to now. So, perhaps it is time to rediscover the imagination I know I had as a child. What I won’t do though, is to stop voicing my opinion. This is my blog and I can write whatever I wish.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Smut Marathon review Round 4

The Smut Marathon has moved onto round 5 and I am still in the competition. If anyone had told me at the beginning I would make it to round 4 and beyond, I would have been happy and proud. But on Sunday when the results were published I felt despondent. Not because I had made it through but because I saw that I came last for round 4.

This round we were asked to write a masturbation scene, involving one person and one toy. I took this literally and so didn’t ask for guidance. Consequently I edited out most of the references to another person. This made it a standard masturbation piece, that didn’t really include any context. But my original story of 500 words was much better. It included clear reference to the person who had turned her on all day and who she was due to meet later.  See 8, A Hot Day for the final entry.

Worse, in my editing I failed to recognise that I had mixed my tenses, something I was critical of others for. The key message here, is to check editing and perhaps get another person to proof read.

Voting

Marie does an amazing job. Not only has she created this whole competition which she manages day to day. But she sends the prompts, updates and reminders to all of those involved and also analyses the results. The analysis is testament to her love of statistics. Comments can be left following voting, and are posted once this has closed and results are imminent. The voting system is complex but means that while the judges have 9 votes on a sliding scale everyone else can only vote for 3. For those of us in the competition, this feels unfair. We are allowed to vote for ourselves and if you do, then you can choose only two other entries.

We are all looking for different things when judging the writing of others and unless I have missed something until today I was unclear of any judging guidelines. But having read the blog of one of the judges I can see that he is following some clear criteria. 

This includes whether the entry is original. This made me think about other comments from the judges. All of whom have commented have mentioned originality.

My writing

I am not a writer of erotica per say. That is not what my blog is about or for, though I have made a few fictional attempts. I am not even very good at writing about my own experiences creatively. Mainly because, once in sub space I struggle to remember and later to express the deeper meaning of what has happened.

I am a slave and one of the things I can’t do in my relationship is to orgasm without permission. I am also a 55 year old woman who doesn’t really need to orgasm every day. Put those 2 things together with the fact that we don’t live together then this provides the context. I don’t masturbate alone and am not all that good at expressing experiences.

So writing for this assignment meant I was in the main working from memory. My story wasn’t original, wasn’t well edited and contained poor grammar.

But I do take some comfort in Marie’s comments:

There is nothing wrong with this scene. It’s a masturbation scene that works. However, it might just be a bit too standard. Maybe the shower would have been a better setting, with her on her knees fucking a dildo?

Thoughts about how to be more original and start to think outside of my comfort zone. Whether I can do that remains to be seen, but I will give it my best shot.

Thoughts going forward

It isn’t just judges who put a lot of effort in to this. We are spending time as contestants with our entries. I urge others to comment too. That includes the judges. I know we are all busy people that have plenty else to do but comments matter.

I urge Marie to publish criteria that the judges are working to, so we all know. If this is already out there, then please let us know. If judges are working to different criteria then I urge this to be corrected.

I urge those not involved and those who are out of the competition to vote and to comment. Your thoughts are necessary and welcome, even if they feel difficult to manage.

Finally, I urge those who are doing well to recognise the fact and to perhaps support the rest of us and help build confidence. After all, a competition is nothing without participants.

 

 

Smut Marathon – Thoughts on rounds 1 and 2

The results for round 2 of the Smut Marathon are in and I am happy to report I made it through. There have been several times over the past few weeks that I have had cause to question my motives for entering the competition.

It isn’t as if I am a prolific writer of fiction, erotic, smutty or not. I lead a busy life and have enough deadlines to meet without putting myself under pressure in this way. I am not entirely keen on my work being critiqued and criticised, well certainly not at work. While as part of this competition your work is voted on and people provide feedback. However, the thing that makes this different is that entries are anonymous until each round ends.

Round 1

As soon as the first assignment arrived I considered withdrawing. While I was fully aware of what a metaphor is, I don’t use them in my writing. Having pulled myself together though, I did some research on the internet and had a look at a few examples. I decided that my focus would be about a person who lures their prey into their nest or den. Then wrote something, found it to be far too long and so began editing. Happy enough with my completed entry, I prepared to hit ‘send’. Only to re-read (or probably read) the rules and realise I had 2 sentences rather than 1.

“Leonie wondered why she decided to have sex with a man that was definitely not her type; pursuing her prey had been much more fun than capturing him.”

I was amused then, to be criticised by one of the judges for my use of a semi colon. There were a few other comments, one or two complementary but I didn’t score particularly well. I needed to up my game.

Round 2

In this round we were asked to write a piece of flash fiction incorporating one of the metaphor sentences. This was to be no more than 100 words plus that of the chosen entry. 

I spent a few days deciding on the entry to use, and then went with my initial gut instinct – Libido by Nero J Black. I wrote my story in long hand while eating noodles in a café one lunch time, then typed it onto my work iPad. It was 250 words long, but was a start.

A few days later I went back to it and started to edit it down. By the time it was 150 it looked different, though was essentially the same story. Word by word I paired it back further until it was exactly 113 words long. Mine was called ‘The Risk’

When voting began I was pleasantly surprised to find that my metaphor from round 1 had been used by 2 people.

Comments and voting

This time I received a greater number of  comments most of them positive. What is more, I also received votes from 2 of the judges and some public vote too. Maybe then I am not so bad at this kind of thing after all. In the next round, which I can’t discuss yet, I will have to write something I have never before attempted.

Final thoughts

Fewer people voted this time than last and that may have affected who went through and who didn’t. I gather from reading twitter that some of the entrants didn’t vote and since you can vote for yourself that might not have been the best thing. Some of the well established and talented sex bloggers haven’t made it through which is a great shame. Anonymity may have played a part, but also that this required most if not all of us to write in a way that we don’t usually.

I don’t know if this will be my last round; as I said, I am well and truly out of my comfort zone now. But I am really glad I entered the Smut Marathon. I have learnt much about writing, but also about myself.