Being proud of who we are

I spent much of my adult life fretting that things hadn’t turned out how I wanted them to be. Trouble was, I didn’t actually know what that was. My whole blog is about my voyage of discovery to establish who I truly am and what that means. Sometimes I’ve been anxious that I’m in some way different or abnormal. But if I’ve learned anything over the years with Master it is to, embrace our instincts and be proud of who we are.

Over the past 6 years I have had some amazing opportunities to explore my kinks with Master. From our first play date he has pushed and tested me. Asked me to talk about my deepest desires and read my blog for clues. Then he has set about making those come true. It was something of a fluke we turned out to be as compatible as we are. It was lucky that I was prepared to try out new things and go with his plans and even liked many of them. What’s more since he is the original Gadget Man he has acquired the equipment to go with it.

This means I’ve had more opportunities than most to try things out. But also we’ve been able to do so in private, which I actually like. It isn’t that I don’t like playing in public, I am definitely an exhibitionist. However, I prefer that we play out some kinks in private. Relaxing and getting into my submissive head space is more difficult than it once was. Strangely there’s less going on in my head that needs shoving out. A busy work schedule was some how easier to dismiss through pain and general slutiness than what lives there now.

Over the years Master has bought me some great kink gear; harnesses, waistcoats, spanking skirt, collars. I have worn them with pride and then when I put weight on left them in the cupboard. But recently I’ve begun to get them out again and wear them for him at home and when out at kink events. Master likes to see me dressed up and also naked and I know he is proud of the way I have embraced CMnf. Damn, I’m proud too.

When others watch the way Master plays with me at an event I feel proud and fills him with joy. He is generous and is always happy to show people his equipment and even lend it out to the right people. Generally we keep to our selves, but increasingly we are making friends and getting to know others. This increasing confidence is, I think good for us both.

I chose the image above because Master looks proud and happy with himself. No doubt he has plans for me and for us in that moment.

Chilling

For the first throw back Thursday of this years February Photofest, this photo of Master chilling out. This was taken at Stoxx, which sadly no longer seems to be available. As well as showing him relaxing, it gives an idea of some of the equipment. We can only hope the owners rent it out again sometime. I’d love to stay there again!

In the cage

This is another Stoxx picture. Under the bed was a cage and of course I climbed inside. I admit that I like the idea of being a caged slave more than the reality. I do prefer the comfort of a soft mattress, but it makes for a good photo.

Me lying chained in a cage under the bed st the Stoxx dungeon.
Sinful Sunday

Reflected

I am restrained on a swing. ankles and wrists secured by cuffs to chains attached to the ceiling. My image is reflected by the mirror above.

The play area at Stoxx wasn’t short of mirrors. So there was no shortage of ways for our image to be reflected. This is me, restrained and suspended in the swing. Reflected for Master to enjoy.

Sinful Sunday

Kinky

Our sex life is 99% kinky, but day to day we barely reach 40%. Our sex life ebbs and flows, much like everyone else, I imagine. Life gets in the way and often we are powerless to intervene. Or else too tired.

But sometimes we get the opportunity to reach a full 100%. Just such an event happened on Monday night when we checked into The Stoxx

We spent the weekend an hour or so away indulging in the culture of late 19th century / early 20th century English song. Also enjoying the delights of local food and drink. During the day on Monday we visited two nearby cities, visiting the cathedrals and generally soaking up more culture. By the time we arrived at the dungeon I was feeling a little jaded.

The set up

Set in the middle of the countryside Stoxx is a purpose built cabin. We climbed the 8 or so steps and found ourselves in the bedroom area. The bed itself was constructed of sturdy wood with a cage and blackout area underneath. At the end of the bed was a set of stocks.

Into the play room and the sheer array of kink equipment was almost mind blowing. With benches, a swing, St Andrew’s cross etc. As well as various implements to please or torture, depending on your point of view.

A swing, set within a BDSM dungeon room.
Kinky play

Soon after we arrived, we got down to some kinky play. I wore a kind of net dress for the duration and was soon leaning over one of the benches while Master thrashed me soundly. For once, this didn’t really get me into the right mood. I struggled to empty my mind of the busy weekend and day of culture. So we took a break for a while and relaxed on the sofa and drank some wine. After a while though I was ready for some very intense play. The result of which can be seen in the image below. There will be plenty more of these to be seen over the coming weeks.

Me lying on a bench being fucked by a fucking machine.
Photo taken and edited by Master.
Sinful Sunday