Orgasms

It is over 5 years since I gave up control and ownership of my orgasms. Before that, I didn’t really know that was a thing and even if I had, I doubt I would have understood what it meant.

When I was seeing S, he made me ask permission to cum. This, I have discovered isn’t the same thing as having your orgasms owned and controlled by someone else.

Permission

From the first time I was told to ask for permission to come, I loved it. Here was a man that was actually interested in me having an orgasm. Someone who wanted to experience something of my enjoyment to feel the moment. My previous experience had been with a man who was really only interested in himself.

Permission was only needed when we were together. When we weren’t and I was getting myself off, then it wasn’t necessary. I thought little about this at the time and continued on my merry way. Just as well, since we only saw each other every 6 weeks or so.

When Master and I got together he put in place the same rule. I was to ask to come when we were together. However he would own my orgasms whether we were together or not.

Ownership

When we lived apart, Master still allowed me to orgasm when we weren’t actually together. However I was to thank him at the moment I came. I pretty much never broke this rule. Amazing really since I have broken plenty other rules over the years. This though brought with it the feeling that we were emotionally joined even when we were apart. It also stopped me making myself come for the sake of it.

When I was seeing S and before that even, I masturbated frequently. I often found the process enjoyable, but once I had reached orgasm felt it anticlimactic. A few minutes later I would feel unfulfilled and start over. Sometimes I would masturbate several times in an evening, afternoon or whatever. But at the end of it all I would be left thinking that there must be more to it than that.

For some reason, masturbating and then having to thank a person not even present seemed to work better for me. During this period, most of my masturbating took place at night. Late when I couldn’t get off to sleep, early when I had been woken by my ex walking into the house or had just been disturbed by a menopausal flush. Sometimes the effect was to send me to sleep, but other times it tended to wake me. Serial orgasms alone didn’t really work for me though, whether I thanked Master or not.

Control

There is more to orgasm control than seeking permission to cum. It is about being told to cum or being told you cannot. It is about being made to wait and being reminded that your body is actually his. This is the world I now inhabit.

I can honestly say that I have not masturbated alone since I have been living with Master. Funnily enough not even when we have been apart. For some, unknown reason I haven’t felt the need to even ask. My toys, regularly used now only come into play when we decide to do so together.

Partly I guess this could be because of the various health related events of the past few months. But more it feels that there is no need. I have the control I need and I don’t need to use a toy when he his only too willing to use his fingers or tongue. Or when a toy is required he is the one holding it. Teasing me and making me beg for my orgasm.

When I look back over the past few years the rule about orgasms hasn’t changed. But the way I experience and enjoy them has. Right at the moment though, because we have both recently suffered form viral illnesses orgasms are seriously lacking for us both.

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Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Submission

I stood up and stripped off my clothes. He sat up straighter, unfastened his belt and began to unzip his trousers. We were both a  little drunk, but there was no harm in that since this was about sex and submission.

Master’s cock was hard, not really surprising since his slave was now kneeling naked before him. As I took the full shaft in my mouth, not even gagging. I took a moment to wonder if alcohol helps suppress the gag reflex. His cock tasted amazing as I coated it with my gin infused saliva.

He took my hair in his hands and kept my head still making me savour the taste and feel. With such a full mouth I could do little more. His hand gripped my breasts, caressing  the nipples as they hardened to his touch.

Following his request, I pulled my mouth free and climbed up onto his lap. I sat down on the hard cock and it slid easily inside. No tightness, no pain; if only it were always this easy. But, never mind. As I rode him, his hands moved over my body which was sensitised to every touch.

As is his way in these situations, he asked me to tell him who I am- Master’s Bitch, his slut his slave  – the response. And he, my Lord and Master.

It is in situations like this that my submission comes to the fore. There is no longer space to think and to wonder. Just a place to be His slave, His slut, His property.

My reward? The granting of orgasms; lots and lots of orgasms. Each one rolling in, starting deep inside my cunt, a wave of emotions throbbing through my body bringing his gift. Submission.

Because the link between the power he has over me, the orgasms he permits and my submission are absolute. In those moments there is nothing else in my world other than Lord and slave.

Blogging A-Z Challenge: C

C is for Control

when we are out together our M/s dynamic is only likely to be noticed by those who know what to look for. Subtle signs of my submission exist in the way I check his preferences. He often chooses and orders food, he always picks the wine. He phrases his questions in such a way that for me they are statements I am compelled to follow. But I doubt others notice.

Control during sex for us is at another level. He is always in charge, even if I take the initiative, or am on top. This is the time and place when I am stripped to my very core, whether naked or clothed. He is my Master, my Lord. I am his slut, slave, bitch. Something comes over us during foreplay and sex that I can’t quite put my finger on. It is as if my anxieties slip away, I lose the need to be someone I am not and can just focus on him. To be the real me, his slave.

Orgasm Control

From the very beginning of our relationship he took control of my ability to choose when, where and how I experienced an orgasm. He has never prohibited me from having orgasms when I am along, but I do have to thank him. Even when he is absent. This is a rule that I have never broken.

When we are together I am not allowed to cum until he tells me I can. Last weekend it became apparent that even during immense amounts of stimulation I am able to control my orgasms until he allows me to cum. For Master’s birthday we went to stay in a house that has been converted into a dungeon. I have always wanted to try mechanical sex machines, and last Friday I got the chance. Vibrating, whirling and moving dildos provided an amazing amount of stimulation to my body. But it wasn’t until afterwards that  he remarked that I didn’t orgasm until he granted permission.

This has me thinking about control in a different way. He does control me, but surely I must have developed control over my own body so that he can control it?

Or is it just conditioning?

Lateral thinking

For us girls masturbation is all about applying direct pressure to your clit, or maybe your g-spot isn’t it? Plus it’s all about something you do for yourself.

Well no, sometimes neither of the above is true.
Sometimes it is about another person. 
Another person who knows you and your body.
It is about the fact that there are many more erogenous zones for a woman than her clit and her cunt (something that this girl’s ex hubby knew nothing about).
For Master, who controls this girl’s orgasms, the application of lateral thinking is always an option. For Him, the owner of not only a girl’s nipples but the rings contained therein (plus the rest of her body) it is about making the most of what is on offer. To be frank, this Man is an expert where that is concerned.
Starting with a few little tweaks, He pinched hard. Immediately this girl felt a twinge in her cunt. She wasn’t sure if she was getting wet, but it was a good bet.
He leaned over and sucked on one tit, while squeezing the other.
This girl knew that He was serious and that it was likely that she was already close (damn that He does this do easily). 
This girl felt compelled to squeeze her pelvic muscles and to arch her hips.
Master reminded this girl that all orgasms belong to Him. Of course, she knows this.
He pinched again and sucked some more. This girl knew she was close and she knew that needed to ask for release. 
Master granted that release with a count of 10………….
He continued to work this girl’s nipples and it was as much as she could do to prevent herself from reaching that special place before He reached 1.
She managed it and felt her cunt throb in response. At no time did He touch her clit, but she certainly came. That man is an expert when it comes to lateral thinking.