Being a Leo

A female lion watched by a male

I’d like to say that I don’t believe a word of what is written about astrology and star signs. But I do. Being a Leo means I am a lion, the queen of the jungle. Apparently vivacious, theatrical and passionate. I would believe in astrology less if more of what I read about Leo’s were less true of me. You see, I really do like to be centre stage. And I like attention to be all about me. Unfortunately this has been one of the main problems in my life. You see, my mum is also a Leo.

My relationship with my mum

My mum has always put our challenging relationship down to the fact we are so similar. This is probably a genetic issue, we do look quite alike and I know I have similar mannerisms (though I hate to admit it). But there is something more to it and I think the problem is that we are both Leos. But worse than that our birthdays are one day apart. I can think of very few times when she has given way for me on the celebration front. She has conveniently forgotten on many occasions that I might like to celebrate my birthday too and not necessarily with her. The one occasion that she did put me first was when she held my nan’s funeral on her birthday rather than mine.

However my Leo mother is now 80 and I am 57, so there is nothing to do but live with our differences. The fact that she gets lonely is not only to do with the fact she wants people to put her first. But also because she is a widow and lives alone. Unfortunately she speaks first and thinks second and this has alienated her from people. Making her more lonely. However, she is my mum and I do love her and so where others stay away, I am unable to.

Leos and love

My ex husband is Libra, this is meant to be a good match for a Leo and in a way it was. He was happy for me to have the limelight. Happy to do things I wanted, so long as I got him to think that he had thought of it. But his main problem was his inability to make a decision. He hates to rock the boat and dislikes change. In the end, some of those traits drove me mad. Of course, his star sign had no bearing on me deciding to marry him. That would be stupid. Though I met a woman once who took a dislike to my husband because he was a Libra just like her ex. And that was without even knowing him.

Master is an Aries, as was Steve. Both are assertive. Steve might have been a bit more energetic (he was such a whirlwind at times he made me feel exhausted). Apparently for people born under Aries the seduction is worth more than the lay. This was true for Steve as he always seemed to be ticking off a bucket list. Once he had done them he moved on; he certainly did that with me.

Master and I are a much more compatible Aries / Leo combo. He is an attentive lover. We love and trust each other and I have no intention of allowing this to change. My problems with my ex were trust based and for me this is important.

It’s not the only thing to consider

While I am interested in the general traits that are attributed to the various star signs, I am not an avid watcher or believer in horoscopes. I believe it is possible, with a lot of information for someone who has knowledge of astrology, to make lifestyle predictions. But I don’t believe that the stuff peddled online or in newspapers is valid.

This is my horoscope for today:

Young visitors bring out the best in you today. Have you prepared some delicious food for your guests? When you want to, you can be a great host, keeping guests entertained and even enthralled. In return, they’re thoroughly enjoyable company. This should be a happy interlude for you since you like being sociable. You may receive a welcome delivery some time during the day, too.

Horoscope.com

It’s true I am a good host and like good company. I am sociable, but I wouldn’t wait in for visitors that don’t arrive on this basis. Or maybe I should have invited some random young people to visit! But the same page does say my love interest today is Aries and that of course is true. He is my love interest everyday.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

The things we do fo love

Like walking in the rain and the snow
When there’s nowhere to go
And you’re feelin’ like a part of you is dying
And you’re looking for the answer in her eyes
You think you’re gonna break up
Then she says she wants to make up

The things we do for love…….

10cc

The lyrics above are what I first thought of when I saw the F4T prompt. I bought the album about the time I first went out with my future husband. I was young and impressionable and did quite a lot for love. The song is about communication and compromise. I’d have done well to read and digest the lyrics, but I was only 15 at the time. I was more interested in singing along and listening to the other tracks on the album (Live and let Live).

The things I’ve done for love in the past
  • Stayed after infidelity for the love of my child (I’ve written about this a lot)
  • Got myself into debt for the love of a man and child, as well as a desire for material goods – Funnily enough it was in my name and not his. But I also got us out of it, so yay for me.
  • Been on holiday with family to places I didn’t choose – Tunisia when I wanted to go to Rhodes springs immediately to mind.
  • Spent numerous family days at my parents when I’d rather have been at home. Especially at Christmas. I am doing it again this year to prevent my mum being alone. A lot of the things I do for my mum are for love because she is quite a difficult person to like.
  • Cared for my dad when he was dying. Trouble was quite a lot of the nursing staff left me to it. After all I am a nurse. My brothers were also a bit frightened and I cared for them and my mum too. I wouldn’t change this for the world however.
  • Tried to smooth things between my ex and my son. But I now recognise it’s time to leave them to it.
The things I do for love now

Over the past few years I have done more things for the love of myself than others. This wasn’t always the case. But also I am fortunate to have the love of a man who cares for me in a way I never thought possible. This love started without the expectations of the one with my ex. We were much much older and got together knowing that we both had an interest in sex, kink, Dominance and submission. What emerged was much much more.

With Master I have learned to be the slave he wanted and I have agreed to things I doubt I would with anyone else. One of the main things that fall in that category links back to the GOTN post mentioned on the prompt page – Piss play. It’s his kink and not really mine, but I will let him piss on me and am happy to p on him. I pretty much would do anything he asks when it comes to kink.

That’s why I offered up my limits when I agreed to become his slave. I trust Master to make those decisions for me. I do know that I can say no but will rarely do so. But partly that is because he will usually discuss things with me before he tries something new.

However, our life isn’t just about kink, far from it. I’ve grown to like quite a lot of classical music because of his interest. I go to plays and events I would never have even known about and have visited places on the basis he had been there and liked them. Some of it I wouldn’t do on my own, but am happy to be there with him. Other things I find I enjoy and would be there even if he wasn’t.

But the best thing really is that we get to be together, explore new things, go to new places and learn from our mistakes. One of the best things is that the things I do for love now are also things he does for love too. That includes visiting my mum at Christmas when he would rather be at home.

F4Thought

Loving and being in love

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

There are many different types of love. Of a parent for a child, a child for a parent, of friends. Then there is the love felt between those physically and emotionally attracted to each other. Falling in love is something that seems to happen at the beginning of a relationship, though it is possible to fall in love more than once. Perhaps when something special happens or one or both parties face a particular challenge. That first flush of love, just as you are getting to know each other is a special time. One of investigation and discovery, a time when the seeds of trust and communication are planted.

To truly love someone you need to have trust in them and to feel that you can be yourself. You need to be able to let your guard slip and to know they will always have your back. Love needs to be unconditional, because we all make mistakes, need to show our vulnerable side.

I truly feel that my cancer diagnosis caused a re-evaluation of our relationship and the love we have for each other. The way Master coped, the emotions he showed and the way he has tried to support and protect me, made me fall in love with him all over again. I have loved him for most of the 5 years we have been together but maybe we aren’t always in love. But, life settled down and things became routine. Right now as we explore the next part of our life together I am sure I am in love with him and love him too.

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

Love between two (or more) people in a relationship becomes, over time, business as usual, as it were. Maybe that is the time when you can take each other for granted and bad habits can creep in. Don’t get me wrong, it is cosy, perhaps like an old sweater, but it can also lead to complacency. It is the job of the people in the relationship to make sure that element of surprise remains. Because having been in a long term relationship that turned stale you can never take love for granted.

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

You don’t have to love or be in love to have sex, but it certainly adds another layer. For us, being in a power exchange relationship love has helped us understand our own and each others body. We have learned to understand and meet each other’s needs and to make allowances when there are problems. I trust him to care for me and keep me safe, but also to push my perceived limits. Love makes us want to satisfy and please the other in a way that doesn’t happen in a casual relationship.

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

Lust is important in any relationship as it helps keep the spark going. But lust can also be mistaken for love. I am pretty sure that during my relationship with S, I was in lust rather than love. Because while devastated for about 2 weeks the first time he finished with me I pretty soon recovered. The second time, I walked away and found Master. The sex had been amazing but I realised I needed more from a relationship. Thankfully I have found it.