A strange week

7 days

I deliberately decided not to post Every Damn Day in June (that is not every day). But didn’t mean to leave gaps of 3 days. Hence a post today even though there’s already been a Sinful Sunday. But this week has been strange.

Work

For a start I imagined I’d be doing the contract tracing work. I never imagined that things would be so unorganised that I would spend 16 hours twiddling my thumbs and still get paid for it. I know this seems immoral, but as someone who is owed untold hours by the state I don’t. However I do feel sad that I haven’t had the opportunity to call someone up and ask them to stay home. Most of the people I know do anyway, but clearly some people are out.

Death and destruction

I’ve tried to keep my head down. I hate confrontation and I hate violence more. The death of George Floyd was horrific and I know the right thing to do is to speak up and to protest. But I felt shell shocked and so said nothing, which is wrong. But it wasn’t till Friday (2 days ago) I watched any of the footage. This wasn’t intentional but for some reason the BBC decided it was ok to show footage at 18.45. I walked into my mum’s living room to lay the table and saw it. I was horrified and shocked. Even though I had read about his awful death I was truly shocked. My immediate thought was that children could easily have seen it too.

I am worried about people protesting, I can’t deny it. The brutality of police (mainly in America) and the worry that it will cause a further Covid spike are real. Having hidden away for days, I recognised the need to appear and speak up. But what to say? I admire people for coming out and protesting. But worry that they could pay the ultimate price for doing so.

Duty calls

I am visiting mum because I feel I must. Having not been out for 3 months she has no idea of the world around her. Instead the news is her source of information. She lives in a bubble where the real world feels scary and she does’t quite believe what real people say. My elder brother and I are pretty sure she is in the early stages of Dementia, helped along by a prolonged period of self isolation. She craves attention and then lashes out at us when we are there. Meanwhile my younger brother is taking large quantities of money from her.

We have to make this stop. In the next few weeks we will have a family conference to try to manage the situation. I am beyond sad that two of us spend our time trying to help her and the third is busy selling her his time.

Holidays

We should have set off for Spain this week. Right now I should be sitting in a tapas bar in Seville! But instead we wonder when we can travel again.

I am actually determined to get down to France before the end of Summer. I can contact trace from there if necessary as I have a good internet connection. But only time will tell. I was pleased to see the market, bars and restaurants are now open. We just need our own rate to fall and our politicians to stop being complete jerks (if possible).

Sex

My libido is definitely returning. I’m feeling I might be able to write part 2 of The retreat next week. We’ve had some very good sex too which I must write about. I want to think too about how to get my submission back on track. We’ll need to work on it I know as it really has been a bit absent for months. But I know I still want to be his slave and that he wants and needs that.

So this has been my strange week. Let’s see what next week brings!

Being thankful

This week’s Food 4 Thought Friday prompt pays homage to Thanksgiving which was on Thursday. I am increasingly aware that I have so much to be thankful for. It would be so easy to wallow in self pity about what I don’t have rather than recognise what I do. So, here goes.

Our relationship

Last night in bed, Master asked me if I am happy with life now we are living together. The answer to that was a resounding yes. Even though we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years, moving in was a big step. We get on far better than I even hoped. We are good at giving each other space, but at the same time enjoy each others company. Our sex life is really good and now we have the time are having more of it. 

Master has been a massive source of strength to me over the past few weeks. When I returned from theatre after my surgery he was waiting for me. At that moment, I knew I loved him more than ever and that I could rely on him. Even when things are tough we will definitely be supporting each other. 

Family

My son has gone through a lot this year and has shown himself to be a caring and resourceful man. I am so proud of the person he is. He is now 27 and of course a proper grown up, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need the help and support of parents and girl friend. He was there for me on the day of my surgery and on the phone frequently checking in. At the same time, he has supported his dad, grandad and uncle through some awful times. Sadly my ex’s brother died a couple of weeks ago after a long battle with motor neurone disease. His dad had a stroke a few weeks before that. On Tuesday, I will join them to say good bye and provide my support to them all. All of this makes me thankful that I have my health. Because even though I am being treated for cancer, it has been removed and I will recover. 

Time

I am thankful that I was able to give up work at the end of August. This means I have had the time to recover. When I finished work I was beyond tired. We are convinced that the events of this year – mum moving, me moving etc. contributed to making me susceptible to cancer. 

I am grateful that I haven’t had to take time off work or worry about no one doing my job while I am away. Also that we can spend time together and enjoy the freedom of not working. while I will be looking for work in the future, this won’t need to be permanent or full time. I know we are lucky to be able to do this, and am grateful for both of us having worked hard in the past to make it possible. 

It is really easy to get caught up in negativity, so it is useful sometimes to write about just positive things. For that, I am also grateful.

Hello 2018

Another year has arrived and an old one is in the past. Time to look forward to 2018. I hope and even believe this will be a good one. The external preoccupations remain (politics, prejudice, censorship) and can’t be entirely ignored. But but what better day than New Year’s day to look forward with positivity.

Writing and blogging

Recently I have spent almost as much time complaining that I haven’t written anything as actually doing it. So enough of that. I plan to participate and just try to write stuff. If it is any good, then people will say and if it isn’t then I will know. Either way, I will get my thoughts out there. Plus I will have taken part in various memes and other projects. Once this post is done and out there, I will sign up for the Smut Marathon and see where (if anywhere) that takes me. I decided I can’t just be Julie, can’t use my own name (too rare) and so will be known as Julie Jones for writing purposes. Not creative but since I am not Beyonce and Adele it is time to have two names.

The deadline date for the Eroticon Anthology has been extended, so there is no excuse for me not to get something written this week.

This year I have decided to participate in the 365 photo project. Yesterday when I probably should have been writing I was instead setting up a sub domain. At the moment I plan to use some photos I have taken over the past year or two and really like. But very soon I will be out and about taking some  shots of life as it happens. This will give me the chance to post some of the photos I take which aren’t sex or kink related. In exchange I have made the decision not to take part in February Photofest this year. I want to take the pressure off of myself and actually write more.

Family and home

As I have mentioned, my mum is due to move house on 12th – 11 days time! This next few weeks is going to be incredibly busy and then hopefully will calm down. At present she is struggling to de-clutter and wants to take everything with her. She has a lot of stuff, much of it unused in a long time. She has wardrobes of clothes, too much furniture and a huge kitchen of gadgets and stuff. Moving is a stressful time and for her, widowed 3 years ago, it is a huge step. It is also stressful for me since the bulk of the organising and doing is falling to me. One brother is busy working (he is a supermarket manager and this is the busiest time of the year). The other is lazy and so far has done another to help. The end is in sight though and I look forward to that.

Next will be my house. This really will be the year to sell and move on. Big changes afoot for Master and I then. Once that is done I can think about work and what I want to do about it. I enjoy my job less and less and I am ready for a rest and a change.

Travel

We love to visit places, for weekends and holidays. 2018 will hopefully see us doing just that. Yesterday we booked a trip to Seville in April for the Feria that takes place every year. Next we will begin to think about a summer holiday,  perhaps to Slovenia. I haven’t experienced any of Eastern Europe, so that would be new and exciting. We will need to travel to France a couple of times and hopefully a few other weekend breaks will happen.

Our relationship

This holiday time we have been discussing the things needed in our relationship. More time for us and concentrating a bit more on the dynamic of Master and slave. We want more time to play, some of it at home and some of it outside. Last year we attended a couple of events and this year we want to raise our game. Go to more events and clubs and to play there. Master is again talking about marking me, something I do want but we haven’t got around to. He also wants to reinforce the power exchange in our relationship much more.

In a few weeks it will be our 4th anniversary. I never imagined then that we would still be together in 2018 and now can’t imagine being apart. I want this year to be the one where we can stop needing to Skype 3 or 4 nights a week.

So 2018 is here and there is lots to look forward to. Of course there will be challenges, and outside influences will sometimes get in the way.

Today, though I face the coming year with positivity.

One of those update posts

The strain of blogging every nearly every day for the Blogging A-Z challenge left me needing a break. I am so enthusiastic at the start of these memes but time, bad planning and the challenge of obscure words can get in the way.

But it’s time to move on and get back to reality. The February Photofest and Blogging A-Z Challenges are behind me. Time to move on through the year, develop some discipline and post spontaneously. It’s 2 months since Eroticon and I still haven’t got around to making the changes I said I would. No space so far for fiction, and generally my creative juices are struggling to emerge.

Life around here has been pretty full on, what with work, family and social stuff. Add a holiday into the mix and stir in Master’s new bathroom* and you get the picture. Not that any of this is an excuse, since over all I am pretty lazy when not doing any of the above. *N.B He has people in to fit the bathroom, though I helped out in choosing accessories. There are still towels, bathmats and a little cupboard to be considered.

We are very aware of the need to instil a bit more fun and play into our lives. Plus of course sex. The joy of spending more time together this past couple of weeks has included time discussing how to inject energy into our relationship. Plus to rediscover things like anal sex, which we haven’t done for a while.

This week he bought me a leather bra. Something I can wear under my clothing or else on its own around the house. The leather is beautifully soft and comfortable to wear. Master has a real fetish for leather gear, well he just has a real fetish in reality! Summer is on the way, though it isn’t too warm around these parts yet. But the opportunities to get out an about and to have some fun are emerging. Plus he has promised more dungeon time for my birthday in August.

Lots to look forward to and hopefully the opportunity for fun and games on top of normal life.

Summer here we come!

TMI Tuesday – Love, Life and Lessons


1. Are you happy with your job? Why or Why not?
This is a job that suits my needs now – I have the hours, pay and job satisfaction I need. I no longer worry about my career because I have a different balance to life.
2. What do you want?
Once I don’t need to work, I won’t. There is more to life for me now.
3. Who first broke your heart?
Hubby broke my heart early in our marriage. I regret not dealing with that sooner, but we are where we are and I am happy with what life offers for now.
4. What is the biggest mistake you’ve made in a relationship?
Not dealing with problems at the time. That and going back.
5. What did you learn from you last lover/ex-significant other?
That when S told me that I would find what I was looking for, he actually knew what he was talking about. That and finding out that his eternal search for his soulmate would be so difficult for him. I was never she, and knew it all the time in reality.
6. What novel has been instrumental in shaping your views at any point in your life? Why?

Not sure my life has been shaped by books, but more that I have read different types of books at different times. Books about nursing in my teens, books about life, love. Latterly a mix of crime, drama and literary classics. Don’t ever ask my favourite – I only remember the story for a short time!

7. Tell us about a favorite TV broadcast show you currently enjoy? Give us a synopsis of the show.

I have no time for tv right now, don’t you know how busy my life is?

Bonus: What is your current favorite song to listen to over and over again?
Keane – A place only we know or Robbie Williams – Angels.

TMI Tuesday – Life

My second TMI Tuesday – Life, 1st July 2014
1. We learn from our mistakes. What sex or sexual mistakes have you made and learned from, What was the lesson learned?
If it doesn’t feel right it isn’t. For years I assumed the problems with the sex hubby and I ‘enjoyed’ was my fault. He even called me frigid. Master will tell you that that is not the case. 
2. What risk (sexual or not) would you take if you knew you would not fail?
There are so many things I would gladly do if Master asked me. Generally I just trust Him. Away from sex, well I would leave my job if I felt it was right, in the knowledge that there was something out there. That I wouldn’t have done 18 months ago.
3. At what time in your life have you felt most passionate and alive?
Now!! My life definitely started shortly before my 50th birthday and has just got better. I can honestly say this is the best time of my life. Master is helping me emerge as the submissive I know I want to be and will be.
4. What one piece of advice about sex would you offer the virgin you?
Don’t marry the first man you have sex with. For the most, I have been happy. But I was never sexually fulfilled and that proved in the end to be defining.
5. What are you avoiding?
That final break. But I am moving ever closer, especially after last week with Master.
6. By what age should you know what you want to do with your life?
It is never too late, so just don’t worry.
Bonus: Do you think you’ve experienced true intimacy in a relationship?
Yes. During the last week. There is nothing like a few problems like no toiletries, a toothbrush or clothes to let you know if you understand what is important in life and your relationship. We passed the test, I think.
Some questions were adapted from 28 questions for a happy life.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
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