A breather

We are in France, staying at my apartment in the south west of the country. If there is anywhere in the world that I can relax and throw off the concerns of daily life this is it. Whenever I come here, I am able to sleep better and for longer, I am able to forget about work and family concerns and can just be. I don’t need to stay for long, a few days is enough to allow me to soak up the atmosphere, drink some wine, eat some local food and then to head back into the real world. Luckily Master also loves this part of the world, having spent time in this area as a student and then subsequently on holiday over the years. The weather has been, to say the least changeable, and right now, while sunny it is really windy (I wouldn’t want to be on the beach or worse at sea). Shortly we are going to head out further east to try to escape this wind and to see a place neither have been to. 

On Wednesday when we arrived in France, we stayed in Carcassonne in this beautiful hotel. We had tickets for a concert and so had decided to spend the night. I ate my first pizza in months and really enjoyed it. Since I started to try to lose weight a year ago, I have been avoiding such things. But this was a real treat and I ate without guilt (I may regret it next week when I get home and on the scales, but I somehow doubt it).
The next morning we wandered around the town and explored the church and cathedral within the city centre, rather than the Cité, which is where most tourists go. Then we headed to my apartment and spent a pleasant afternoon on the balcony enjoying the sun and drinking some local wine. Yesterday we did some shopping. I have recently had a new bathroom fitted so wanted to buy some new accessories and towels. I enjoy shopping in France, seeing the different things on offer from what is available in the UK. Unlike at shopping at home, I have the time to browse, since there isn’t the pressure to get onto doing something else.  Tomorrow, something more kinky, but for today this lovely view from our hotel window in Carcassonne as I head off for my afternoon of sightseeing. 

The year in review – part 2

As the end of the year approaches, I have decided to make a few changes to the blog, some tidying up and a new theme. I am quite happy with the effect, but we will see.

Following on from Tuesday’s post, this is the second half of the year in review.

In July a slave knelt before Master while a titanium collar was placed around her neck. So 18 months after we first met, an really external symbol of my slavery. To be honest few people have commented, and I think that most people just see it as a piece of jewellery and once that many seem to like. It hasn’t been taken off very much and I am sure as time passes the need to do so will reduce even further. It is now part of me and part of what we are.

On 23rd August I wrote about the kind of kinky dress Master likes to see His girl wear. The harnesses He has bought me and the posture collars denote the way in which He loves me to dress for Him. On this holiday he has pointed out some short skirts and even leather shorts worn with opaque tights that he would like to see me in. I do love to dress for Him, but a bit more weight needs to be shed before the short shorts make an appearance (unless He says otherwise of course).

In early September I took my mum for a short break to France. This meant that Master and I were not only apart, but it was difficult to maintain our usual forms of communication. I have to admit I do struggle during these times, but hope that I am learning from these experiences since one of those separations is coming up when I leave Master in Spain and return to work in just over a week.

I only posted 3 times in October – I was going through a pretty lean blogging patch, but 2 of them seem worthy of mention here. This first one mentioned the wonderful tag Master bought for me to wear with  my collar. I love it and though, because of its weight I haven’t worn it often, recently I did so at our local Christmas munch. It made me feel very proud and was commented on by a number of people. In out of the blue, Master reminded the slave she should never be complacent and that at any time she could be given a task. A good thing too!

The length of my hair is frequently mentioned here on my blog and it is something I know Master is serious about. It is a case of when not if it becomes much shorter.

So to the end of the year and our lovely Christmas together. An end, but also the start of a new year. Thank you everyone who stops by to read about my journey. That will definitely continue into 2016. Happy New Year.


This weekend hasn’t involved being busy, it hasn’t involved staying in hotels, going to concerts or shows. This weekend hasn’t been about walking around London or any other city enjoying the architecture  or other sights. This weekend hasn’t been about people watching, cocktails or meals in busy, noisy restaurants.

This weekend has given us time to relax, to chill out and be comfortable. This was the weekend I needed, probably without knowing it. This weekend we have been at my place, I have cooked for us and we have eaten well. We have had some good wine and beer. We have watched some old TV and films (some of which I have fallen asleep to). We have listened to music, some of which I bought from iTunes on Friday night while apparently drunk! Last night we walked down to the local pub, just because it had finally stopped raining and we hadn’t been out. It was pleasant enough, but just an interlude from our chilled out, just us weekend.

The best thing about this relationship is the way in which we can exist with each other without needing to engage in a particular conversation. That we can just sit together and do our own thing. Not because we have run out of things to say and do, or because we have had any kind of disagreement. Sometimes we are just happy in each others company.

There has been sex. This morning it was clear that He was aroused and wanted to feel the power of His slave. The collar is ever present as is the knowledge that our relationship is one which starts and ends in an M/s dynamic. But sometimes just being an ordinary chilled out couple of middle aged people have a pleasant weekend is enough. This weekend was just that.


Little made a comment on my last post, that I seem to be really happy. People at work have commented too on how much I smile these days. Master too observes my happiness, the way I smile and ‘look pleased’ with  myself when I have made Him feel good. Sometimes too we just look at each other and smile. Now that is happiness.

I never expected this. I didn’t think I could feel the happiness I now do. For some reason I always half expect life to be a challenge. Perhaps because whenever things are going well, there has always been something to bring you down to earth. Now though I am learning to live for now. To enjoy what I have and to believe that this is the way to live life.

The death of a parent is a profound experience in life I have discovered. It brings you face to face with your own mortality and reminds us that we are all here for quite a brief time. So, when you have the chance at 50 to pretty much start again, to live life in a different way. Perhaps you should grab those chances and not worry too much about the consequences.

Right now I have a job I enjoy. One which keeps me busy and is a challenge. But my attitude to work is not as it was. Yes, I am committed to it and to my employer when I am there, but it is not my whole life. My life outside of work is just as important, if not more so. Which perhaps is why I am happy when at work and equally so when at home or out with friends or family.

Master and I have settled into our lives together. We don’t live together and don’t plan to. We can be apart doing our own things but are there for each other if that is what is needed. But being together is really good and is something I look forward to. Whether we are playing, having reasonably straight sex, out for dinner, sitting watching a film, or as now sitting on the same sofa but engrossed in different Internet activities. Our forward planning is not years, but it is now weeks and months. This has to be healthy since neither of us know how we will feel about each other in a year or more. This life, right now is what we have and I think I can say that we are both pretty happy with that.