Blogging A-Z 2018: SoSS

Today is Saturday and today’s letter is S, so it must be Share our Shit Saturday (SoSS). Most mornings this week we have had a slow, leisurely start to the day. This has given me time to blog and read blogs, engage with Twitter and even Facebook.

Favorite blog post of the week

Molly Moore wrote about her life as a voyeur and how she discovered just how much watching others turns her on. She related this to her experience with a former lover and then to the polyamorous relationship that she is now part of with her husband Michael and Cara who more recently came into their life. I was privileged to meet Cara when she was in the UK recently and can understand why Michael fell for her. That Molly has been able to welcome Cara into her life and Cara has made Michael so happy is wonderful.  But more than that, Molly explains how excited she is to share Michael with Cara.

I am actually quite in awe of their situation. When my relationship with Master started, I was the third person. His then slave was planning to join him here, but was still living in the US. She was almost immediately jealous of me and tried hard to undermine me. The result was that their relationship ended. So I didn’t get the chance to know whether I would have been turned on while they had sex. We have spoken about introducing another woman for play purposes, but it hasn’t happened. It is something I am curious about, but don’t know if I would be as accepting as Molly. The idea of kissing Master while someone else sucks his cock is quite a turn on though.

Scarlett Ladies – Blog post by The Other Livvy

I wasn’t aware of Scarlett Ladies until I read this post by Livvy. It is a sex positive network of women in London that includes events and meetings to attend as well as newsletters etc. They have a wonderful website, that I need to take a closer look at. Livvy’s blog post is an update on one she wrote soon after her marriage last year. Its about her decision to take her husband’s surname and whether this makes her less of a feminist.

When I got married in 1984 I never considered whether changing my name was a good or bad thing to do, I just did it. Only later, I found that a number of my nursing colleagues used both their maiden and married names. One for work and the other for home and family. This approach seems practical and sensible when it’s desirable to keep the two separate.

I have never thought of this as a feminist issue though, but rather as what is practical. Certainly friends who either weren’t married or else kept their maiden names encountered difficulties when their children went to school. The schools (at the time) struggled with knowing what to call a mother with a different name from their child. The children themselves of course, asked questions, so all having the same name is easy. Plus having a child with a different name at airport security can take a little extra time.

But none of this is important. What matters is doing what is right for you and for the right reasons. Livvy seems to have thought through her options and decided what she wants. This doesn’t make her less of a feminist, but demonstrates she is a woman who knows herself, her needs. She is also considering her husband and future family and that deserves respect.

Blogging A-Z 2018: B

This is the third year that I have participated in Blogging A-Z. This year i am going to try to make my topics a little more mainstream. They will, however clearly link to kink and may on occasion be NSFW.

B is for Blogging

In a couple of weeks I will reach the 6th anniversary of my lifestyle blog. Starting out on blogger as World of joolz, I must have sensed that I would need to record my journey. At that time I was dipping a toe into D/s and exploring sex in a way I had only dreamed of.

To begin with it was my own personal journal and wasn’t read by anyone but myself. Good job too, since my writing style left a lot to be desired. Reading back,  posts are often short and something of a brain dump. They are also short on detail about what really went on, including my feelings. But gradually as I read around my new subject matter, explored and commented on other blogs, things changed. My writing improved as I engaged with others and while I still wrote for myself, there was definitely a benefit in knowing others were reading too.

The blog has helped me express myself through difficult times, like telling my husband about my affair with S. Writing helped me to express my feelings, deal with the confusion and decide what I should do next. The relationship with S ended and very soon after I met the man I now call my Master. He is my lover and also my partner. I told him about the blog early in our relationship, without realising he would go back and read every post I had ever written. This helped him learn about me and also directed his questioning about what I wanted from our sex and kink life.

Over the past couple of years I have engaged with the sex blogging community much more. To the extent that I have met many of those who now read my blog. I enjoy using the prompts from memes such as Wicked Wednesday and Submissive Coffee Club. Sinful Sunday has helped us to develop a more creative side through photography. But in the main what I write and post here is personal, for me and for us. Of course I don’t publish all of the gory details of my life, but I think that I am more open than most.  This is because I want to be able to use the blog to record our continuing journey.

Eroticon Diary – Afterwards

Today I was back at work just a few miles from Camden Town. It seemed almost impossible to believe that my 4 day break had flown by quite so quickly. The anticipation and excitement I felt on Thursday as I left the office replaced by tiredness and yes a little sadness. We are going to have to wait an entire year before Eroticon takes place again. But I have taken away some amazing memories along with a head crammed with ideas. Yesterday I was just too tired to write, but in the office this morning  I could have written loads. Instead I got down to the emails, interspersed that is with twitter chat. So, what were my highlights?

The talks

There were so many great sessions to attend, so there were difficult choices. I can honestly say I enjoyed every session I went to.

Remittance Girl’s session on Taboo and Transgression had me thinking all weekend. It also gave Master and I plenty to discuss in our downtime and with others at the conference. The universal taboos of incest, murder and canabalism are almost passé as film and book topics. Speaking ill of modern politicians and celebrities perhaps carries a greater danger. Remittance Girl was clear that as writers we must tackle the really difficult topics. Consent, pornography, the sexualisation of children, of illness and disability to name a few.

Kayla Lords provided an insight into the making a living from blogging and writing. Something I hadn’t really considered. It has made me assess my worth and given me food for thought about the future. This is not something I would pursue while still working but it could be an alternative to what I had planned. On Sunday, I attended Cressida Dowling’s session: Is there a book in your blog? In essence I think the answer is no – I have no clear theme, I am not organised enough and am probably too lazy. I’ll leave that to others and buy their book.

Neil Brown’s Legal tips session was very interesting. Unfortunately we got stuck on the issue of age verification. I know this is a really important topic and one we all need to know about, but it prevented him covering everything. I enjoyed hearing his views and advice on freelancing, particularly after Kayla’s earlier talk. And I was pleased to find he confirmed much of her advice.

The talk on SEO by Miguel and Mark from Fetish.com was extremely useful. The loss of my blog and subsequently pasting my old backed up posts means I have about 600 without SEO. Loads to do then.

Vac Play and Kink Lab

I knew Mactire was going to be at Eroticon and had already decided I was going to try out vac play. He offered me the choice of all 3 of the beds, I chose the one I thought least likely to cause me anxiety.

I loved the experience and will definitely try the cube in the future. I am less keen on the Vac Bed that involves being completely encased in rubber.

 

Socialising 

Last year  at Eroticon I struggled to engage fully with my fellow delegates. This is not a new issue for me at conferences. I tend to stick with people I know and having Master with me meant I conformed to type. This year though I wanted things to be different. He did too and I agreed to socialise more.

Being more active on Twitter before the event helped. By the end of the Friday meet and greet I had already spoken to more new people than in the whole of the weekend last year.

I enjoyed re-engaging with people from last year, putting faces to names from blogs and twitter. We spent some time on Friday speaking to Kendra, including helping her plan her visit to Harry Potter World. She told us a little about the talk she would be giving on Sunday. It didn’t however prepare me for the power of her talk on Sunday. I am in awe of the things she has gone through during her life and that she has fought so hard to express herself. She is an absolute inspiration.

I am an author

Earlier in the year I submitted a story for inclusion in the Truth, the Eroticon Anthology. My submission is a true life account. I can’t describe how good it makes me feel to see my work in the Anthology. I will write more about this another time.

A weekend away

We love a weekend in a hotel. Even though we live just 20-30 miles from the Eroticon venue there was no question of us commuting. That would make it too much like being at work. We stayed in our favourite hotel, near Euston and took the tube or bus. The cold weather took me by surprise since I didn’t believe the forecast. So I arrived in and had to wear my light weight raincoat all weekend. But our room was warm and the bed huge. Sunday afternoon we snuck away from Eroticon and attended a pre-booked concert. Then dozed in the room. I wanted to go and meet up for post Eroticon drinks but couldn’t find enough energy for more than a stroll to a nearby burger bar.

An extra night in the hotel and a day off on Monday rounded off the weekend. Back home it felt like the weekend was a dream. I felt sad because the days had flown by. But with such wonderful memories I know this sadness will be short lived.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Back to blog

Having persevered throughout January and the first week of February I have abandoned the 365 questions. I think the idea is a great one, but these questions are really too dull. Maybe I should try to come up with a better set for next year, but if anyone sees me start with this same set next January 1st please, just shoot me (or the virtual version of it).

My excuse for starting the questions was laziness coupled with writers block. I had a desire to blog regularly but a distinct fact of creative ideas, useful recent experience or even the will to try to put pen to paper (or words to screen) in any meaningful way. So, the easy way out. Then I decided to join in with February Phtotofest and this meant that during this month I would need to produce two blog posts, which in itself is no problem. With the photo, there is often a story to be told, with the questions usually not.
Last year, I ran out of ideas for the February photofest but this year I definitely want to carry through and get to the end and I want as many of the photos to mean something to me as they can. I also need to get back to proper blogging, I need to write about what is happening in my life, about the things that are bothering me and about the things I want to do. I need to write about my relationship and about the things that continue to go well for us as well as some of the things that bother me. Like for instance the way that my menopausal symptoms are changing our sex life. Like the way my job feels like it is getting in the way of spending sufficient time together. Like the fact that I love my house but wish I could just walk away, the sale and everything done with. Like the ongoing stresses that my ex brings me.
But also I want to write about the great things we have coming up; Eroticon in just a few weeks and a chance to meet like minded people, great writers and bloggers who I hope will help inspire. Like the ‘Secret Dungeon Sleepover’ I have been invited to for Master’s birthday, like the CMNF event we would like to attend in the not too distant future. Like too the holiday we are planning for this summer and the break we are taking over Easter.
I want to get back into writing about me and about what makes me the person and am happy to be.
I want to get back to this blog and to moving this blog to the new domain I have bought but haven’t yet properly used. I will happily see February Photofest through to the end, but I am not posting answers to inane questions just so that I can fill the calendar with a daily blog post.