3 Sleeps

On Friday we leave for our holiday in Spain. This year my Christmas will be different from usual, there will be no turkey or tinsel, no real tree and no family fun or indeed arguments. But there will be Master and His girl enjoying time together, there will be tapas and wine, there will be Spanish culture, there will be times to relax and recuperate from the pressures of work and life in general. Hopefully there will be lots of kink.

Getting ahead of yourself so that you have sent all of your cards during the first week of December and have bought all of the presents before the second weekend is challenging. But here we are on 15th of the month and the last few presents have been delivered to a place from where they can be transported to their intended recipients.

Work has been busy, but there is light at the end of that tunnel too, just as well as there are just two more days left to work, only one of which involves being in the office the entire day. Tomorrow is the Christmas party, but I am still undecided whether I want to go. I still have a pair of new shoes to collect from a department store (don’t you love click and collect?) and my toiletries to buy from the supermarket.

But all of the washing is done and for the first time in maybe years the ironing basket is empty. All that is left really is the packing and then to leave for our trip.

I intend to post here during the trip and since I will have more time to do so and hopefully more kink to write about, that is a promise.

Until then, I give you my Christmas tree offering for this year. Apologies that the first looks a little drunk. The second tree  I am taking with me!




It’s December

After a flurry of activity around here in November, I seemed to run out of ideas. Plus, the arrival of December has meant a step up in activity at work and at home. Today though is much less fraught, in fact today is proving to be a wonderful day of relaxation and recovery.

Master and I take it in turns to spend weekends at each others homes, this weekend is my turn. Four days a week at work and the 5th spent running my mum to various shops, as well as my slimming club and an invariable encounter with the ex means that these weekends are something precious. Unless something special is planned, we tend to do little; get up late, a leisurely coffee then lunch, more sitting around, dinner and drinks, some TV or a film. These for me are perfect weekend days.
Everyone else seems to be spending December days out shopping, battling against the ever present pressure of spending all of their money for a perfect Christmas. I know this to be the case, because I myself have been there. 
This year though I have pretty much done it all. I have written and posted my Christmas cards. I completed this task early because I needed to tell some people about the end of my marriage and the changes to my life. Last year I didn’t send any cards, I wasn’t feeling in the mood to cope with dealing with that kind of reality. This year though I feel in a much better place. I have also pretty much bought all of my Christmas presents. I have had a couple of trips out with my mum and have taken advantage, plus I have bought a few things online. All that is left now is to wrap things up and put them somewhere ready to give to family. You see, this year there is no tree to store presents under.
This year Master and I are going to be away for Christmas. In just under 2 weeks we set off for Spain, where I will spend 3 weeks and he 5!. This is one reason for my hyper organised state – Next Sunday I am hosting a family dinner for my mum, son and girlfriend and niece and nephew. Pretty much all of the presents can then go off with them and then there will be just a few days to get ready and pack before we leave. During that week I will be working and there will also be an evening at my mums for what would be my dad’s birthday and my work Christmas ‘do’ (if I can make myself go). 
Christmas in Spain will be completely different. Our days will be much more like our weekends here, except we will be able to get out and about in the warm sun. We will find ourselves in some lovely buildings, we will eat tapas and drink wine. The big difference is that from 18th December there will be no fraught Christmas preparations, and no last minute shopping trips. Of course, it means no family Christmas, but as I have told my loved ones, there will be other years for that. 
The great thing is I am pretty much already ready and it is only 5th of December!

Withdrawal effects

We returned yesterday lunchtime from a wonderful 12 day holiday together in Spain and France. After arriving back at Master’s house from the ferry port and unloading the car, I reloaded my things into my own car and drove home. In a way it felt good to be back – there is always something special about getting back to your own home and your own belongings after time away. But in another way I felt stupidly sad and empty.

Fighting those silly feelings I got on with my chores – shopping, washing my clothes, opening mail and catching up with family members (not in that exact order). But still as I sat watching some tennis on TV in the late afternoon I found myself feeling lethargic. On the one hand loving the me time I was experiencing and on the other missing Him.

I wanted to blog about the wonderful time we had together and about the fact that our relationship, in terms of slave and Master has developed even further, if that is possible. But I was just too lazy. Or, maybe it wasn’t laziness, but rather weariness after what has been a busy couple of weeks. I went to bed quite early and slept amazingly well.

Not surprisingly, I have woken early this morning and as the day spreads ahead of me, I realise that I am fighting the feelings that on the one hand I value my independence, after all this has been a hard fought journey. But on the other I love to be with Him and to feel the constant feeling of His dominance over me. That isn’t to say that I can’t feel that dominance right now, even though He isn’t here. But it is about adjustment to the realities of life. About the knowledge that I have to think about others and not just Him or indeed us.

Today and over the weekend I have family things to do and on Monday there is that important thing called work to address. The realities of life call – the need to support my mum, check in with my son and to support myself. There are bills to pay and mundane things to sort out. There is also the matter of losing the 2 or 3 pounds in weight I have managed to put on (I know that is pretty good considering I have eaten and drunk so much).

But having been with Master constantly, arriving home without Him feels strange. I am definitely feeling the effects of withdrawal. I will of course get over it, particularly as we are going out tonight!

30 Days of Kink – Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

After 3 days of travelling around the northern part of Spain and into the pyrenees we have now spent two days chilling out in my apartment in France. I say chilling, but though it has been relaxing to do very little, it has also been a necessity given the hot weather here and across much of Europe. The main problem is not so much heat, but humidity which is not fun when you have the added fun of being menopausal as I am. We have found that you barely need to move to break out into a massive sweat. Other than shopping and going out for dinner and drinks, we have barely left the apartment and that has meant that there has been plenty of time for some intimate moments, some amazing orgasms and this morning so very very good and quite kinky sex. This period of relaxation won’t last for much longer, but I intend to make the most of it while I can.

So to day 4 of 30 days of kink. So here’s the thing; I am not sure there was any particular signs from my early life that suggested that I would be kinky. I was amazingly unadventurous when it came to my own body until I was at least into my 30s. I had very few boyfriends, and married the first person I dated for any length of time. I guess it would be true to say I was a little repressed, and didn’t know what I didn’t know. Once that sexual side in me emerged, the kink followed and here I am. Perhaps for me, looking back is not what it should be about, instead I intend to look forwards. I am kinky, and I have a kinky Master who I love to be with and right now I am having the best time.

The view from our hotel room in the Pyrenees on Tuesday morning.

One of those general update things

On Friday we leave on our next trip away, this time an over night ferry to Spain and then over the following few days, France, across the Pyrenees.

This week has been about finishing up things at work. It has been about catching up with my son (and reclaiming the suitcase he borrowed) and tomorrow it will be about having dinner with my mum, doing her shopping and generally making sure all is well with her.

The last few days before holiday, when you are unwinding while being thoroughly wound up at work can be challenging. Generally I feel calm, though sleep patterns are a little disturbed, suggesting that I am less calm than I want to believe.

Friday morning, I go to be weighed. The slimming thing is going relatively well – I am trying to follow the plan, but often find myself choosing taste over what is advised. Having said that, I am enjoying eating more healthily and enjoying more that my clothes fit better and that I am definitely slimmer. But it seems that it is the hair cut that has made the most difference – apparently short hair makes me look younger and slimmer!

Then me and my luggage will travel to Master’s house and from there we will travel to the port and away from my not even very stressful life.

I am not sure I will be writing much here, but plan to fill some gaps with the 30 days of kink project / meme thing.

Hopefully while we are away there will be kink. But definitely there will be some life that is worth blogging about.

Whatever happens, there will be something over the next couple of weeks.

The joy and the pain

I am not alone in having a rule within my Master / slave relationship that underwear is only worn with permission when we are together. This is something I have embraced even when it makes me feel open and exposed. After all, that is the point. It serves as a reminder to me about who I am. As well as offering Him open access to my body as and when He wants it. Over the winter, I have to admit that my naked body has been covered more often than not by trousers and jumpers. And, when wearing a dress, by opaque tights. So the trip to Spain and the rising temperatures after the first couple of days meant that once again I could wear just one item of clothing and my shoes.

On these occasions Master loves to get His girl to expose herself to Him and to take her photo. As He has here. The photo on the left was, as you can see, taken by the side of the road. We were high up in the hills having stopped to take a look at the views. These were great despite being shrouded in some mist. Shortly after the photo was taken, a group of boys enjoying a Sunday morning walk turned the corner.

It is the riskiness of these situations that gives me the most excitement, exhibitionist that I am. The photo on the right was taken an hour or so before, while we looked around the excavated ruins of a Moorish city. The place was full of tourists, even though you can’t tell from the picture and therefore the risk of being seen while a slave exposes herself to her Master is high. It is climbing steps though, when the breeze catches that I find most pleasurable. Especially when a hand is placed on your bottom in pretty much full view. Yep, it is true, this slave is a slut!

But walking around in a hot place, wearing no underwear can be painful. Or rather the after effects can be. Later that day we walked around the town of Cordoba, enjoying the start of the Easter parades and for the first time on the trip the temperature rose to close to 30c. I am not the slimmest of people, so chafing is always a concern but also standing around in a hot place I began to perspire.
With no underwear to absorb the sweat I felt moisture running down my groins and then the tops of my legs. The result was that by the end of the day I had sore groins and I felt compelled to ask for permission to wear underwear for the next couple of days while things healed. In future, I am going to take with me a little rescue pack – some wet wipes, moisturiser and some pants – I love to be the slut Master wants, but the pain of sore groins and chafed upper legs is not the kind of thing I really enjoy.

Night and day


As promised, over the next couple of days I will give some insights into our holiday in Spain.

Our first hotel, had a balcony, which as you can see overlooked the bay but was not particularly overlooked by people in the nearby rooms.


I say not particularly, because, actually it was possible to see and to be seen, but you would need to have been looking across rather than out to sea. I know, because shortly before the day time shot was taken, I did look across and there were some people looking out to sea.

Below the balcony you could see the bull ring thought not in use at the time I am pleased to say.
The location was wonderful, positioned as we were. To our right were remains of a castle, which we explored after breakfast before we moved on inland.

My only regret? That I didn’t actually stick to my diet after Christmas. Still there is nothing like some photos of your rolls of fat plus the post holiday scales to kick start you into action.

The Castle

Back – Real Neat Blog Award

The holiday was marvellous; Two whole weeks of time together in the beautiful Spanish region of Andalusia. We explored the countryside, climbed hills and walked miles (often we walked miles, uphill on cobbles, or so it felt). We explored some wonderful landscape and beautiful towns (often up or down steep hills, often on cobbles). The food was wonderful as was the beer and wine. Experiencing the Easter festival of Samana Santa as the Spanish do was really special. There was some kink, and photos were taken. Some of these will be shared in the coming days.

But before that, and in a useful stalling way, I accept the Real Neat Blog award from Fiona

Like Fiona, I am not one for rules, so here is the logo

And here are Fiona’s questions:

1)  What scares you most about TTWD, and conversely what are you most gratified about your journey through TTWD?

I don’t feel scared about TTWD, as I completely trust my Master to keep me safe and to lead me through my journey in the best way for us both. I feel gratified by just that. I have met a man who wants much out of life that I do, we are exploring our kinks together and having so much fun along the way.

2)  What is your favorite tradition surrounding your birthday (or if you don’t have one – around a holiday that you like)?

All traditions around all occasions have changed over the past few years. My son has grown up, there have been breakups, death and just a change in the way we want to do things. I love to see my son on my birthday, or to enjoy it in some way with him. But last year’s birthday when Master took me out for lunch and then we spent a kinky afternoon together was probably the best for a long time.

3)  If you’re home alone, is there music playing, a television on, or quite in your home?

At the moment I have the TV on, but it is really just background. I am avoiding the forthcoming general election here and the programme is about the stories surrounding family heirlooms. Later, I will probably have some music on, while I eat dinner.

4)  What’s your favorite book, movie and song?

Book – these change depending on what I am doing. right now, I am reading a book about Queen Isobella of Spain. Generally my favourites would be either something historical, factual or perhaps a crime story.

Movie – I am not a real film buff, but have enjoyed some of the older films I have seen with Master over the last year. Recently we saw some Marx Brother films which were such fun. I had forgotten how great they were.

Music – I like Robbie Williams, Coldplay, Keane – anything by any of them is good.
5)  If you were 18, found your blog and read it, what would your reaction be?

I would be amazed, perhaps intrigued, but probably wouldn’t recognise my future self.
6)  What qualities, do you think, is your significant other is most attracted to in you?

I think he enjoys me physically, and he likes that my kinks match so well to his. But I also think he likes that I am open to new ideas, am keen to learn and to become the person he wants and needs.
7)  What is your favorite toy to make you cum?  What’s a fantasy of yours using that toy?

I love Master’s gadgets but actually the most amazing thing is when he rubs his cock against my clit piercing and uses that to make me cum. 

This girl and her Lord

At last work is over, this girl’s mum is on the mend (she will be home from hospital tomorrow) and the holiday time can begin. Yesterday, she spent time catching up with things at home, paying bills, doing some last minute shopping before packing her bags and leaving home for two whole weeks.

There was one last thing to do before this girl went to Master’s house and that was to visit her mum in hospital. Mum has struggled with the realities of being confined in the hospital. Probably because unlike when she was in before she was actually ill and this time she really isn’t. This girl has to admit that she isn’t sorry she will be away and that her brothers will have to take responsibility over the coming days. She has a real need now to break away from these responsibilities for a while. She needs the slave space and she needs this extended time with her Lord.

The evening was relaxing – dinner, wine, chatting, music. It was fairly late when we went to bed, so this girl imagined that we might go to sleep quickly. But she imagined wrongly as Master decided it was time to reclaim His girl and remind her of who she was, what she was and her role in this relationship.

As Master stroked the body of His property and her hand felt for His growing cock this girl began to feel the stresses of the past couple of weeks evaporate. He demanded orgasms from her and to be honest she had no power within her to resist, even if she had wanted to. The power exchange during those moments is almost palpable.

This morning Master picked up where He had left off. His mission to get this girl to squirt continued as He spent time examining her, stroking and fingering her and then fucking her. It hasn’t quite happened to Master’s satisfaction yet, but this girl has a feeling that a big gush is not far away.

We spent time discussing the dynamic between us, about the feelings that this girl’s slavery and Master’s dominance have on each of us. How this girl loves the way Master uses her, the way in which by calling her this girl objectifies her and in turn how that arouses them both.

Master likes to be this girl’s Lord and she is increasingly comfortable calling Him just that, since it is Who He is.

We leave tomorrow and as suggested by tori, there will be a kinky photo blog of our travels, with a few words thrown in.


I have the urge to write this week as I manage the stresses involved in preparing for time away from work, home and family. I can’t wait to be away from those things and into a world where Master and I are together and I can be His slave for 24 hours a day.

Right now there are lots of reasons why time following the rules already set down would help me get myself back into a good place again. That is without any thoughts of new rules or suggestions instructions about how to move on with certain aspects of my life which are in the offing. As Master has said on a number of occasions, you need to be careful about what you wish for.

Mum is still in hospital, though her discharge is imminent. She has done well and the idea that she will return home post hip replacement while I am away in a foreign land fills my brothers with fear. At the same time I feel relief. Since my dad died she has had me on some kind of string which, while it has improved our relationship has at times been unhealthy for me. They need to take more responsibility and boy will they get it. I am sorry to say that my mum is a trifle difficult and at times not even a nice person. If this sounds unpleasant I am afraid to admit it is. But she is my mum and I am prepared to put up with her caustic tongue and demands in the main. But having Master help establish boundaries is a great help, for all concerned!

Work is busy. This is the busiest time for it –  our financial year ends on 31st March. Plus we are heading into an election and for those of us working in the public sector is means a period of storm before a calm and then hell……. We are sadly subject to politics and while the day job goes on, policy stops and then starts with vengeance once the election is over. We can only hope for continuing calmness in the coming months, but I won’t hold my breath.

Hubby no longer lives here, nor does my son who happily is living in domestic bliss with his girlfriend. So the time to finally sort out the house nears. Plus we are getting close to 2 years of separation so a divorce looms. Energy is needed and will be found for that last push.

So that leaves Master and I.

We are two people of middle age who enjoy each others company. When we are out together most people wouldn’t have any idea that the dynamic between us is any different from any other. Maybe people (if they notice) might wonder why I, as a woman of a certain age wear no bra. They probably won’t realise that i wear no knickers. Not that I particular worry about these things, given that I am so slutty. The time away in Spain will allow me to start to reintroduce dresses rather than the trousers and jeans that have been a feature during the winter.

Further, when Master hands me a ticket to pass through a barrier at the station, and I then hand it back to him, will go un noticed. But I am not permitted to carry such tickets (Ok, so the oyster card is different since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to travel around London).

When we are out for dinner, I rarely order food for myself and never wine.

The dynamic we have is now a natural one for us both. I am available for Him and He accesses my body when He wishes.  I am respectful and will generally be calling Him Master rather than Graeme.

But I do seek more, probably need more.

This time together will help us to determine what that looks and feels like for us both.

This is a break away from the world that we both need. Plus we will have some great times, of that I am sure.

I am taking my phone, camera and iPad. I plan to post a little, perhaps some photos and a word or two here or there. Maybe this will be a travel blog with a word or two of kink for a while. That might be fun too.