Anticipation

He has prepared her carefully. Securing her across the chest and legs. She is blindfolded, but for now her hands and arms are left free. Her legs are secured in an open position and from the back he can see her pink cunt through the gap in her legs. She waits in anticipation not knowing what he will do next.

The plastic of the bench is cold on her body and the position he had put her in not all together comfortable. Music blares out from the sound system, a slow sexy Barry White number. She tries not to think back to the last time she heard the track, tries instead to clear her mind. He is moving around in the background choosing his instruments of torture. She hears him approach. He is still dressed and wearing shoes. She of course is completely naked.

His choice is a soft rubber flogger and first he rests it on her back and moves it gently across her shoulders, then down over her buttocks. Then the first impact. It is a deceivingly stingy piece of equipment, she winces and he smiles. Though of course she can’t see that. After 20 strokes he replaces this flogger for another, made of rubber and then later with one formed of plastic though it looks like barbed wire. This latter flogger makes her cry out, a mixture of pain and pleasure. Next she feels his fingers touching her cunt and is not surprised when he exclaims that she is very wet. Her clit responds to his touch and then she hears the buzz of the wand. Yes please she thinks.

Sure enough the sound becomes a real vibration on her cunt, she pushes her bottom towards him. The head of the vibrator touches her clitoris full on and it is as much as she can do to hold back.

“Not yet” he tells her turning the thing off.

The anticipation continues but so does the pleasure. They’ve only just begun.

Bedroom talk

He has a great way with words. I guess it is all the reading he does, plus his linguistics education. He tends to tell me what he thinks about my body and our sex life in English, but could easily do it in French or Spanish. Our bedroom is a fun place to be of a Sunday morning.

“I wanted to have sex with you the first time I met you” He told me, not for the first time. Looking back to the beginning is something he loves to do. “I felt your tits though” Indeed he did. Plus he pressed his hard cock against me when we kissed. It’s no wonder I was round his house the following afternoon. Though we didn’t have sex until the week after as he played with me instead.

He starts to suck my nipple. “what are you doing?” I ask “Just noshing down on your tit” comes the reply between sucks. I lie there thinking how middle class public school that sounds. He speaks well: upbringing, education. Not estuary like me! I love it when he swears or says dirty stuff, it sounds fabulous coming from his posh mouth.

“I’ve had more sex with you than anyone else”.

“Well we’ve had a lot of sex”, I reply. That is very true and I’ve had more sex with him than anyone else.

“You’re a better fuck than C” (a former sex worker he used to see and who is now a great friend of ours). This also pleases me greatly, perhaps I am pretty good at sex.

“Don’t tell her” I say.

“I might” he responds and we both laugh.

Anyway, in the past he has told me that I am the best fuck he has ever had. I believe him since he doesn’t have to say stuff like that.

“You’re mine” he says just before he goes down on my cunt.

“I’m definitely yours and no one else” I say. But also think, ‘and you are mine’.

Then we fuck and there’s little to say for a while. I do love Sunday morning in our house.

Masturbation Monday

Faking orgasm

Kitagawa Utamaro (Japanese, ca. 1754–1806)

I’m pleased to say that I suggested this week’s Food for Thought prompt. A few weeks ago I read survey conducted by Kinkly.com on Faking Orgasms. The writers there had read a couple of other smaller surveys and conducted one of their own. 1232 people of different ages, gender and sexual orientation. What interested me was the headline that 80% of respondents had faked orgasms at least once in their life. Not surprisingly (well to me anyway) women fake it more than men. Reasons for faking included: wanting the encounter to end, wanting the other person to feel good and not wanting the other person to feel bad. There’s loads more to read from the survey – see the link above.

But, what is my experience?

Have I faked it and why?

I’m sorry to say only too often. Not recently but with my husband. I could count on one hand the number of times he made me come. Mainly this was because he didn’t take the time to learn about my body. We were young when we met, both virgins. I didn’t really know what a female orgasm was, let alone what it felt like. It was years before I realised how much pleasure there was to be had from touching and being touched.

For years sex was about him. Once he had come, the encounter was over. Foreplay was a bit of breast and cunt groping. I think I’ve written here before that this was a man who could fit in PIV sex during a TV commercial break.

I bought myself toys and he found or saw them. So wanted us to play with them and after that felt I ought to come too (I am simplifying things a little here)! So, given that having an orgasm took time, that his fingers weren’t as good as my toys and that I rarely came from vaginal sex, I faked it.

Me faking it made him feel good but it made me feel bad. I’d often come later after he was asleep. Some relationship history can be read here

Do I fake it now?

No because I have no need. Orgasms in this relationship are a gift and are offered frequently. Master is a man who has learned about my body and who who loves to see me come. He also owns the orgasms and by doing so has taken the pressure away from me. They are no longer something I have to do alone. Nor are they something I crave, but never get. Instead he forces them from me, sometimes many times in one session.

From early in our relationship Master conditioned me to come on demand. By touching me and counting down then telling me to come. Over time I was able to come almost without him touching me. But always those orgasms are his, arrive when permission is granted and always I thank him afterwards.

I can hand on heart say I have never faked an orgasm with Master.

Recent troubles

Whether it is being post menopausal. Or because of the hormone inhibitors I take, my orgasms have dried up a little recently. In that I seem less able to come on demand. But rather than pretend, I tell him that I can’t or haven’t come yet. That I can do this is down to the trust between us and because I know he understands.

So we have taken to using our magic wand vibrator more and this has reignited my orgasms in a powerful way. When one of those arrives, there is no faking!

F4Thought

Welcome to the pleasure dome

It’s been a long time, at least two weeks, perhaps more. Distance and then various appointments during the first few days back from Cyprus . Now at last we have time, energy and will power.

“You are my pleasure bitch” he says as he slides his cock over my clit piercing and teases my vulva with it. “Welcome to the pleasure dome” I answer.

He says he loves using my piercing to stimulate his cock. It certainly gets me going too. Lubricating his cock with my juice he slides deep inside. It’s been a while since I’ve felt quite so aroused and damn it today I want to come. This isn’t always the case these days, I wrote about that here. But today is different. “I need the new vibrator“, I say and he does no more but pulls away and goes to get it.

I am on my side, he spooned into my back. His cock is deep inside me, hard and almost too big to fit. I open my legs and place the large bulb of the vibrator onto my cunt. The vibrations are deep and strong and he sighs with pleasure. “Is that good?” I ask. “Oh yes, pleasure bitch its good!”

Quickly I feel my orgasm build. From within, where his cock throbs and outside where the machine vibrates my clit jewellery. The orgasm doesn’t take long to build and I am given permission to cum. Recently no count has been long enough, but today I wonder if I can hold it to 1. I do though.

We lie a while, the orgasm pulsating through us both. Finally he gets back on top and tells me he needs to come inside me. To breed me. Soon he his hot spunk is coursing through my vagina, mixing with my own plentiful juices.

Later on, straight after a lunchtime concert recital I go off to the ladies. I am pleased and not at all surprised to see the dampness still emerging onto my panties.

Pleasure dome indeed!

Masturbation Monday

Time for sex

Anytime feels good for sex, so long as you have and allow time for it. We tend to have sex in the mornings, but it depends on the situation. Previous relationships have been a little different.

When I was married

Hubby and I often had sex during the commercial break of a TV programme. I kid you not. He worked long hours and got up early, so tended to fall asleep at bedtime (if not before). His favourite thing was to have sex during the evening once our son was in bed. However this didn’t really rock my boat, especially since there was very little if any foreplay involved.

Afternoon fun

When I began to stray from the marital bed, my dalliances tended to take place in the afternoon. I had something going with a guy who was actually impotent, but who gave the most amazing orgasms. I used to slip away from work or on a day off and meet him, especially in the summer. Much of it was alfresco and I have orgasmed in some beautiful locations.

With S, lots of our sex was in the daytime. Often I didn’t manage to stay over night with him so we’d spend much of the day in bed. He was a guy who seemed to be able to get it up any time, perhaps I just made him horny. We also had sex outside, including on a picnic table!

Taking the time for sex

Since I got together with Master, most of our sex has taken place in the mornings. This has traditionally been when we have had the most time to just lie there and be. Time to touch and caress and to kiss. Often things start slowly and build. He might have been looking at some porn or lying there soon after waking stroking me. He loves to open my legs gently with caressing strokes and then to go down on me. He says he loves the taste of me and I have to admit I love the way it makes me feel. Since I gave up work we have made much more time for sex, even taking account of my recent illness.

On holiday when the day is hot, we love to retire to bed for a rest. We will probably have had wine at lunch and need to cool down. There is something very arousing about the aroma of a sun warmed body mixed with sexual desire. The desire to get cool is put on hold while we join together for some hot sex in our room.

Occasionally we engage in some late night sex. This is usually pretty drink fuelled, especially on my part. This is probably the only time I initiate it, often by stripping off and kneeling before him. Though there are times when it starts with Master getting me to suck his cock first.

I guess the only rule about any of this is so long as it feels right then it is the right time.

Smut Marathon review Round 4

The Smut Marathon has moved onto round 5 and I am still in the competition. If anyone had told me at the beginning I would make it to round 4 and beyond, I would have been happy and proud. But on Sunday when the results were published I felt despondent. Not because I had made it through but because I saw that I came last for round 4.

This round we were asked to write a masturbation scene, involving one person and one toy. I took this literally and so didn’t ask for guidance. Consequently I edited out most of the references to another person. This made it a standard masturbation piece, that didn’t really include any context. But my original story of 500 words was much better. It included clear reference to the person who had turned her on all day and who she was due to meet later.  See 8, A Hot Day for the final entry.

Worse, in my editing I failed to recognise that I had mixed my tenses, something I was critical of others for. The key message here, is to check editing and perhaps get another person to proof read.

Voting

Marie does an amazing job. Not only has she created this whole competition which she manages day to day. But she sends the prompts, updates and reminders to all of those involved and also analyses the results. The analysis is testament to her love of statistics. Comments can be left following voting, and are posted once this has closed and results are imminent. The voting system is complex but means that while the judges have 9 votes on a sliding scale everyone else can only vote for 3. For those of us in the competition, this feels unfair. We are allowed to vote for ourselves and if you do, then you can choose only two other entries.

We are all looking for different things when judging the writing of others and unless I have missed something until today I was unclear of any judging guidelines. But having read the blog of one of the judges I can see that he is following some clear criteria. 

This includes whether the entry is original. This made me think about other comments from the judges. All of whom have commented have mentioned originality.

My writing

I am not a writer of erotica per say. That is not what my blog is about or for, though I have made a few fictional attempts. I am not even very good at writing about my own experiences creatively. Mainly because, once in sub space I struggle to remember and later to express the deeper meaning of what has happened.

I am a slave and one of the things I can’t do in my relationship is to orgasm without permission. I am also a 55 year old woman who doesn’t really need to orgasm every day. Put those 2 things together with the fact that we don’t live together then this provides the context. I don’t masturbate alone and am not all that good at expressing experiences.

So writing for this assignment meant I was in the main working from memory. My story wasn’t original, wasn’t well edited and contained poor grammar.

But I do take some comfort in Marie’s comments:

There is nothing wrong with this scene. It’s a masturbation scene that works. However, it might just be a bit too standard. Maybe the shower would have been a better setting, with her on her knees fucking a dildo?

Thoughts about how to be more original and start to think outside of my comfort zone. Whether I can do that remains to be seen, but I will give it my best shot.

Thoughts going forward

It isn’t just judges who put a lot of effort in to this. We are spending time as contestants with our entries. I urge others to comment too. That includes the judges. I know we are all busy people that have plenty else to do but comments matter.

I urge Marie to publish criteria that the judges are working to, so we all know. If this is already out there, then please let us know. If judges are working to different criteria then I urge this to be corrected.

I urge those not involved and those who are out of the competition to vote and to comment. Your thoughts are necessary and welcome, even if they feel difficult to manage.

Finally, I urge those who are doing well to recognise the fact and to perhaps support the rest of us and help build confidence. After all, a competition is nothing without participants.

 

 

Masturbation Monday: bound and watching

It’s been a while since I participated in Masturbation Monday, but since this is a very special week for this wonderful meme, I felt I should write something.

Naked but for her stockings, she is bound by her wrists and ankles to the table.
Her head rests slightly over its edge.
She can see Him. Fully clothed but for his hands, forearms and that long cock.

As He strokes himself, just out of her reach she feels the familiar throbbing in her groins.
She writhes, clenching her buttocks, pulling her pelvic floor muscles in. Intensifying the feelings of arousal.
She looks longingly at the cock she worships.

He grins at her and asks “what do you want girl?’
“your cock Master” she responds. If only her hands were free to reach for him. But if they were free, then she wouldn’t be experiencing the excitement of being restrained.
He looks at her pussy, gleaming with juices.
“Do you want to cum girl?”

She very much wants to cum, but wants to feel His hands on her body. Wants that cock in her mouth.
“I do Master, but I want your cock more”
“Greedy girl” he laughs. But moves closer so she can take the cock in her hungry mouth. Gradually He pushes further into her mouth.

She begins to suck and Master groans with pleasure
The intensity of arousal in her own body increases
“Stop sucking and hold it” He instructs. She does as she is told, but finds this only increases the intensity of her desire. He pushes and she feels the tip brushing the back of her throat.

She feels his fingers exploring her labia, feels him gently pinch her clitoris, stroke around the piercing.  She concentrates on holding back, all the time her mouth filled to capacity, gagged by the thing she wants and needs to suck.

“You may cum girl” He says and almost simultaneously her body seems to explode with the orgasm. Her wrists and ankles straining against their restraints.
He allows her to continue to suck. He helps things along by stroking His own shaft too. At last He shoots His load into her hot mouth.

She has her second prize of the day.

Masturbation – kink of the week

May is Masturbation month and not surprisingly Molly has chosen this as the topic for Kink of the Week. For me, masturbation like a number of the more sexual aspects of my life is something that has changed over the past few years.

I spent many years masturbating in private, and doing it frequently. A few minutes at home alone after getting in from work, the time between hubby leaving for work and my son beginning to stir in the room next door. I used fingers and I used various vibrating toys. I poured over the clitical.com website for new techniques and had some fun. I learned how to find my own g-spot, and experimented with ice, to name two new things I found out there. But to be frank I found it frustrating. It was pleasurable, but that pleasure only lasted for a few seconds after the climax came. I sensed that I needed a more fulfilling sex life and that masturbation wasn’t meant to be something that happened instead. This relationship has taught me that my hunch was correct.

During my marriage I hated the idea of my husband masturbating while he was beside me, but knew that he did so, usually after I fell asleep but not always. I hated the idea of him knowing that I masturbated too. Looking back there were some fundamental problems with our willingness to be open sexually with each other. I assumed that this was normal behaviour but now know differently.

Master owns my orgasms. It was one of the first things of mine that he took control and ownership of (intact, perhaps it was the first). This means I must thank him when I cum, and I must tell him it is his. That doesn’t mean he must be present when it happens, therefore I am allowed to masturbate. However, these days, the need to do so is much reduced. There is no need for me to sneak around before anyone comes home or goes out. I can happily lie on my bed naked and use my fingers or a vibe. But I tend not to (though it can help if I am unable to sleep at night). Instead I prefer to masturbate in his presence. Or for him to do so to me.

Mutual Masturbation has become part of my life in a way that I never expected, as has watching while he masturbates himself perhaps looking at some porn. I find this arousing rather than disturbing as I might have done previously. I am happy for him to look at and explore my body, and am relaxed with him watching me wank. Indeed sometimes he demands it of me.

The orgasms achieved through masturbation are for me different, depending on the method and who is making them happen. If wanking myself, then I prefer using a clitoral vibrator and I like the rapid and intense build up it gives. If Master is bringing me to orgasm, then I love the feel of his fingers and the slower, less intensive build up. The worst thing though is when he begins his count down and then stops touching me. It isn’t that it stops the orgasm coming but more that I hate the loss of direct stimulation from his gentle touch.

Masturbation for me is something very different from how it used to be. Different in a good and fulfilling way.

A favourite old photo

In Molly’s post today for February Photofest she uses a photo from a previous blog post. Sometimes a photo can bring back some wonderful memories and is worthy of showing again. Molly has given this a title of Throwback Thursday, a title previously coined by Penny.

This seems a great idea for lots of reasons. Of course, you could call me lazy and of course I am, but also this is one of my favourite blog photos.

The original post, for last year’s Photofest on my blog was called Masturbation, which is exactly what I was doing, over a mirror.
The photo came about because I had found a photo of a girl doing exactly that, for the masturbation month of May.  I posted it on my blog (which at the time was elsewhere, but has been copied across to here).
Master was at the time in the USA, enduring what later transpired to be a difficult time with his then slave. At that time, I didn’t truly know what I was involved in, I am not sure he did either.
He challenged / instructed me to take my own photo in that pose. Personally I think that my attempt was better than the original. What I do know is that he loved it and that it was one of the things that helped him through that troubling time. I will always be grateful that I was willing and able to follow his instructions and that we came through that time together and are still Master and slave.
Postscript October 2018

When I moved house in July, I hired a skip to get rid of anything I didn’t want or need. I am sorry to say, that one of the things I got rid of was the mirror from this photo. Sad, but to be honest we don’t have the space. Happy memories though!

It wasn’t always so

For my second masturbation Monday post I am going to reveal something of my life before kink. Not only have I lived in a semi sexless marriage for many years, but I was also late to the pleasures of masturbation.

I am not sure when I began to realise that my life was lacking, that the sex life I ‘enjoyed’ was not as it should be. I am also not sure when it was that I realised that I could give myself some of the pleasure that I didn’t receive within that relationship.

As a teenager I remember being told that touching yourself was not a good thing. Given that the relationship with my mum was pretty volatile, I wonder why I actually listened to this advice. After all, I ignored much of what she told me. My first serious relationship was with hubby, I was only 15 when we started seeing each other. We did masturbate each other long before penetrative sex took place, but in hindsight this involved me touching him and me humping his leg rather than he touching me in any significant way.

Fast forward into my 20’s and as a young married woman I began to read a little about sex, I bought the Joy of Sex and it led me to start to explore my own body as well as hubby’s. Its a shame that I didn’t explore other reading material at that time. Our lives began to diverge when, around the time of the birth of my son in 1991 he had an affair with another woman. Overnight, whatever else happened, my instinct was to turn away from him in bed. Instead, I began to explore my own body. With my fingers yes and through the writing of erotic stories, in long hand. I started to pay with my body late at night and even remember waking to find I was having an orgasm. Since there was no internet and I didn’t even know that published erotica existed outside of playboy etc and of course only men bought them, the only thing to do was to create your own reality.

Around this time I discovered Ann Summers, a UK lingerie shop which also sells sex toys. I bought a couple of vibrators – one a butterfly vibrator and another some kind of dildo. Using these toys I began to realise exactly what was missing from my life. For the first time I began to regularly bring myself to orgasm. The purchase of our first home computer was the thing though that helped me develop my knowledge, about my own body and about what I might have missed out on. I found the site clitical.com and from there started on a major voyage of discovery. Reading the experience of others and realising that masturbation wasn’t just something you did to yourself made me curious about what I really had missed out on. Often when I was alone in the house, I would strip naked and explore my body with my fingers, I used ice on myself and I used toys to bring myself off. I found my own G spot and found stimulating my own nipples aroused me.

I longed for someone to touch me in the places I touched myself, but was turned off when it was hubby who offered to do so. Something inside me prevented me from opening up to him, prevented me from wanting him in the way that I want my Master now. It was then that I realised that the marriage was something of a sham.

Over the past 2 or 3 years I have learned so much more about myself and my body than I probably had in the previous 20 or more. Encouraged first by S and now by Master I am not frightened to touch and be touched, indeed I love it. Master loves to watch me as I stroke the body that He now owns. To see the effect of the piercings on my level of arousal. And, when I am alone, and I touch that same body it is Him I think about and for him that I masturbate at all. If an orgasm happens as a result of all of that touching then it belongs to Him. I might have arrived late to this table, but given my life right now, I have no regrets.