Smut Marathon review Round 4

The Smut Marathon has moved onto round 5 and I am still in the competition. If anyone had told me at the beginning I would make it to round 4 and beyond, I would have been happy and proud. But on Sunday when the results were published I felt despondent. Not because I had made it through but because I saw that I came last for round 4.

This round we were asked to write a masturbation scene, involving one person and one toy. I took this literally and so didn’t ask for guidance. Consequently I edited out most of the references to another person. This made it a standard masturbation piece, that didn’t really include any context. But my original story of 500 words was much better. It included clear reference to the person who had turned her on all day and who she was due to meet later.  See 8, A Hot Day for the final entry.

Worse, in my editing I failed to recognise that I had mixed my tenses, something I was critical of others for. The key message here, is to check editing and perhaps get another person to proof read.

Voting

Marie does an amazing job. Not only has she created this whole competition which she manages day to day. But she sends the prompts, updates and reminders to all of those involved and also analyses the results. The analysis is testament to her love of statistics. Comments can be left following voting, and are posted once this has closed and results are imminent. The voting system is complex but means that while the judges have 9 votes on a sliding scale everyone else can only vote for 3. For those of us in the competition, this feels unfair. We are allowed to vote for ourselves and if you do, then you can choose only two other entries.

We are all looking for different things when judging the writing of others and unless I have missed something until today I was unclear of any judging guidelines. But having read the blog of one of the judges I can see that he is following some clear criteria. 

This includes whether the entry is original. This made me think about other comments from the judges. All of whom have commented have mentioned originality.

My writing

I am not a writer of erotica per say. That is not what my blog is about or for, though I have made a few fictional attempts. I am not even very good at writing about my own experiences creatively. Mainly because, once in sub space I struggle to remember and later to express the deeper meaning of what has happened.

I am a slave and one of the things I can’t do in my relationship is to orgasm without permission. I am also a 55 year old woman who doesn’t really need to orgasm every day. Put those 2 things together with the fact that we don’t live together then this provides the context. I don’t masturbate alone and am not all that good at expressing experiences.

So writing for this assignment meant I was in the main working from memory. My story wasn’t original, wasn’t well edited and contained poor grammar.

But I do take some comfort in Marie’s comments:

There is nothing wrong with this scene. It’s a masturbation scene that works. However, it might just be a bit too standard. Maybe the shower would have been a better setting, with her on her knees fucking a dildo?

Thoughts about how to be more original and start to think outside of my comfort zone. Whether I can do that remains to be seen, but I will give it my best shot.

Thoughts going forward

It isn’t just judges who put a lot of effort in to this. We are spending time as contestants with our entries. I urge others to comment too. That includes the judges. I know we are all busy people that have plenty else to do but comments matter.

I urge Marie to publish criteria that the judges are working to, so we all know. If this is already out there, then please let us know. If judges are working to different criteria then I urge this to be corrected.

I urge those not involved and those who are out of the competition to vote and to comment. Your thoughts are necessary and welcome, even if they feel difficult to manage.

Finally, I urge those who are doing well to recognise the fact and to perhaps support the rest of us and help build confidence. After all, a competition is nothing without participants.

 

 

Masturbation Monday: bound and watching

It’s been a while since I participated in Masturbation Monday, but since this is a very special week for this wonderful meme, I felt I should write something.

Naked but for her stockings, she is bound by her wrists and ankles to the table.
Her head rests slightly over its edge.
She can see Him. Fully clothed but for his hands, forearms and that long cock.

As He strokes himself, just out of her reach she feels the familiar throbbing in her groins.
She writhes, clenching her buttocks, pulling her pelvic floor muscles in. Intensifying the feelings of arousal.
She looks longingly at the cock she worships.

He grins at her and asks “what do you want girl?’
“your cock Master” she responds. If only her hands were free to reach for him. But if they were free, then she wouldn’t be experiencing the excitement of being restrained.
He looks at her pussy, gleaming with juices.
“Do you want to cum girl?”

She very much wants to cum, but wants to feel His hands on her body. Wants that cock in her mouth.
“I do Master, but I want your cock more”
“Greedy girl” he laughs. But moves closer so she can take the cock in her hungry mouth. Gradually He pushes further into her mouth.

She begins to suck and Master groans with pleasure
The intensity of arousal in her own body increases
“Stop sucking and hold it” He instructs. She does as she is told, but finds this only increases the intensity of her desire. He pushes and she feels the tip brushing the back of her throat.

She feels his fingers exploring her labia, feels him gently pinch her clitoris, stroke around the piercing.  She concentrates on holding back, all the time her mouth filled to capacity, gagged by the thing she wants and needs to suck.

“You may cum girl” He says and almost simultaneously her body seems to explode with the orgasm. Her wrists and ankles straining against their restraints.
He allows her to continue to suck. He helps things along by stroking His own shaft too. At last He shoots His load into her hot mouth.

She has her second prize of the day.

Masturbation – kink of the week

May is Masturbation month and not surprisingly Molly has chosen this as the topic for Kink of the Week. For me, masturbation like a number of the more sexual aspects of my life is something that has changed over the past few years.

I spent many years masturbating in private, and doing it frequently. A few minutes at home alone after getting in from work, the time between hubby leaving for work and my son beginning to stir in the room next door. I used fingers and I used various vibrating toys. I poured over the clitical.com website for new techniques and had some fun. I learned how to find my own g-spot, and experimented with ice, to name two new things I found out there. But to be frank I found it frustrating. It was pleasurable, but that pleasure only lasted for a few seconds after the climax came. I sensed that I needed a more fulfilling sex life and that masturbation wasn’t meant to be something that happened instead. This relationship has taught me that my hunch was correct.

During my marriage I hated the idea of my husband masturbating while he was beside me, but knew that he did so, usually after I fell asleep but not always. I hated the idea of him knowing that I masturbated too. Looking back there were some fundamental problems with our willingness to be open sexually with each other. I assumed that this was normal behaviour but now know differently.

Master owns my orgasms. It was one of the first things of mine that he took control and ownership of (intact, perhaps it was the first). This means I must thank him when I cum, and I must tell him it is his. That doesn’t mean he must be present when it happens, therefore I am allowed to masturbate. However, these days, the need to do so is much reduced. There is no need for me to sneak around before anyone comes home or goes out. I can happily lie on my bed naked and use my fingers or a vibe. But I tend not to (though it can help if I am unable to sleep at night). Instead I prefer to masturbate in his presence. Or for him to do so to me.

Mutual Masturbation has become part of my life in a way that I never expected, as has watching while he masturbates himself perhaps looking at some porn. I find this arousing rather than disturbing as I might have done previously. I am happy for him to look at and explore my body, and am relaxed with him watching me wank. Indeed sometimes he demands it of me.

The orgasms achieved through masturbation are for me different, depending on the method and who is making them happen. If wanking myself, then I prefer using a clitoral vibrator and I like the rapid and intense build up it gives. If Master is bringing me to orgasm, then I love the feel of his fingers and the slower, less intensive build up. The worst thing though is when he begins his count down and then stops touching me. It isn’t that it stops the orgasm coming but more that I hate the loss of direct stimulation from his gentle touch.

Masturbation for me is something very different from how it used to be. Different in a good and fulfilling way.

A favourite old photo

In Molly’s post today for February Photofest she uses a photo from a previous blog post. Sometimes a photo can bring back some wonderful memories and is worthy of showing again. Molly has given this a title of Throwback Thursday, a title previously coined by Penny.

This seems a great idea for lots of reasons. Of course, you could call me lazy and of course I am, but also this is one of my favourite blog photos.

The original post, for last year’s Photofest on my blog was called Masturbation, which is exactly what I was doing, over a mirror.
The photo came about because I had found a photo of a girl doing exactly that, for the masturbation month of May.  I posted it on my blog (which at the time was elsewhere, but has been copied across to here).
Master was at the time in the USA, enduring what later transpired to be a difficult time with his then slave. At that time, I didn’t truly know what I was involved in, I am not sure he did either. 
He challenged / instructed me to take my own photo in that pose. Personally I think that my attempt was better than the original. What I do know is that he loved it and that it was one of the things that helped him through that troubling time. I will always be grateful that I was willing and able to follow his instructions and that we came through that time together and are still Master and slave. 

It wasn’t always so

For my second masturbation Monday post I am going to reveal something of my life before kink. Not only have I lived in a semi sexless marriage for many years, but I was also late to the pleasures of masturbation.

I am not sure when I began to realise that my life was lacking, that the sex life I ‘enjoyed’ was not as it should be. I am also not sure when it was that I realised that I could give myself some of the pleasure that I didn’t receive within that relationship.

As a teenager I remember being told that touching yourself was not a good thing. Given that the relationship with my mum was pretty volatile, I wonder why I actually listened to this advice. After all, I ignored much of what she told me. My first serious relationship was with hubby, I was only 15 when we started seeing each other. We did masturbate each other long before penetrative sex took place, but in hindsight this involved me touching him and me humping his leg rather than he touching me in any significant way.

Fast forward into my 20’s and as a young married woman I began to read a little about sex, I bought the Joy of Sex and it led me to start to explore my own body as well as hubby’s. Its a shame that I didn’t explore other reading material at that time. Our lives began to diverge when, around the time of the birth of my son in 1991 he had an affair with another woman. Overnight, whatever else happened, my instinct was to turn away from him in bed. Instead, I began to explore my own body. With my fingers yes and through the writing of erotic stories, in long hand. I started to pay with my body late at night and even remember waking to find I was having an orgasm. Since there was no internet and I didn’t even know that published erotica existed outside of playboy etc and of course only men bought them, the only thing to do was to create your own reality.

Around this time I discovered Ann Summers, a UK lingerie shop which also sells sex toys. I bought a couple of vibrators – one a butterfly vibrator and another some kind of dildo. Using these toys I began to realise exactly what was missing from my life. For the first time I began to regularly bring myself to orgasm. The purchase of our first home computer was the thing though that helped me develop my knowledge, about my own body and about what I might have missed out on. I found the site clitical.com and from there started on a major voyage of discovery. Reading the experience of others and realising that masturbation wasn’t just something you did to yourself made me curious about what I really had missed out on. Often when I was alone in the house, I would strip naked and explore my body with my fingers, I used ice on myself and I used toys to bring myself off. I found my own G spot and found stimulating my own nipples aroused me.

I longed for someone to touch me in the places I touched myself, but was turned off when it was hubby who offered to do so. Something inside me prevented me from opening up to him, prevented me from wanting him in the way that I want my Master now. It was then that I realised that the marriage was something of a sham.

Over the past 2 or 3 years I have learned so much more about myself and my body than I probably had in the previous 20 or more. Encouraged first by S and now by Master I am not frightened to touch and be touched, indeed I love it. Master loves to watch me as I stroke the body that He now owns. To see the effect of the piercings on my level of arousal. And, when I am alone, and I touch that same body it is Him I think about and for him that I masturbate at all. If an orgasm happens as a result of all of that touching then it belongs to Him. I might have arrived late to this table, but given my life right now, I have no regrets.

It works both ways

It plays a big part in TTWD, but it is a mutual thing. 
We are people in our 50’s and our lives are full and busy. We don’t live together but we spend weekends and where possible other times together. We enjoy that time, but for reasons of time, energy and of course giving time to the things we enjoy. our sex life isn’t always just about penetration. Mutual masturbation is an important part of what we do.
Let me say here that I am allowed to masturbate myself when we are not together, but I do need to seek permission for an orgasm, either before or to inform it has happened. When I orgasm, I must tell Master (even if He is not present), that it belongs to Him and I must thank Him. However, I don’t generally masturbate nor cum without Him present and prefer that it is His hand on my clit or nipples. 
But I digress, since it is the fact that we masturbate in front of each other and that we masturbate each other that I want to talk about. 
We both love to stroke the other, that feeling of a finger brushing over a nipple, a clit or indeed cock is very erotic. Master loves me to hold His balls while He masturbates and I love to hold His cock and to stroke Him, to rub that wonderful manhood. 
The most sensual part though belongs to our mouths. When I run my tongue over the tip of Master’s cock, when I close my mouth over His manhood and gently suck. When I push down and feel Him at the back of my throat, or He starts to fuck my mouth. They are the most amazing feelings. 
For me the sensation of His tongue rubbing against my clitoris, teasing the piercing. Sucking me, bringing me close to that wonderful orgasmic feeling is something I just love so much.
Enjoying your partner’s body is something to enjoy and to savour. Mutual masturbation allows both of us that opportunity and gives us an intimacy that I just love.

Masturbation

Sometimes inspiration comes out of the blue. I am really enjoying February Photofest, but I put myself in the mix and got involved (as is my way) without thinking things through. Planning some kink related photos for your blog for a week is pretty easy, especially when some have already been taken in the recent past. But continuing for 28 days is a challenge. The added challenge is that this is not a photo blog, it is about me and my submissive journey and about my relationship with my Master.

Today’s photo – my 17th – is one I took of myself in May last year when Master was away in the USA. It was taken on my camera, using the timer rather than using the mobile. I think this is something I need to think about for the remaining 11 days of this challenge.

hub sub in Phx commented on my last post and led me to his most recent entry about masturbation within relationships. My comment there was about my current relationship, but that has led me to think about what went before.

It was pretty usual for hubby and I to masturbate. But we never did so in front of each other.

When I look back I can see that things were pretty sad. I generally shied away from contact with him, sex was not fulfilling for either of us. He really never worked out what I needed and anyway I am not sure that was the point for him. While he wanted us both to enjoy sex, he wanted to cum and do it quickly, sex wasn’t about mutual enjoyment especially as he really didn’t know how to make me cum. This meant there was little in the way of foreplay and often the whole thing could last as long as an advert break on TV.

Since neither of us were satisfied, we both masturbated, just not with or near each other. I was rarely satisfied, no matter how often I made my self cum and I suspect it was the same for him.

Things are different in this relationship. I am sure Master masturbates when I am not there, though perhaps not really often (I am sure He will correct me if I am wrong),  I do not.  I don’t think I have anything to worry about even if He masturbated a lot, since our sex life is good.

I am allowed to masturbate, but should ask permission to cum (this can be done retrospectively) since my orgasms belong to Him not to me. But I really don’t feel the need.

I have learned the joy of mutual masturbation and of watching each other.

Each relationship is different but I am pretty sure, if you feel the need to masturbate frequently, without the other person present, when married or in a serious relationship (whether you actually do so or not), then something is wrong.

So to the photo – girl masturbating over a mirror for Her Master who was 6000 miles away at the time.

Masturbation month

Just when this girl gets to engage in lots of solo sex activities she finds that May is actually masturbation month. Sadly this girl missed out on international masturbation day which was 7th May, but she has been catching up a little since. As mentioned yesterday, this girl’s Master is quite keen she  makes herself cum as and when she needs to. What is more, this girl’s levels of horniness are at record levels, partly because she hasn’t seen her Master for over 2 weeks and also because of the clitoral hood piercing.

That piercing has healed pretty well and soon this girl will be ready for a new piece of jewellery – she has been looking around on the interweb for something suitable and has a purchase on her to do list today. This girl finds that while she is not aware of the bar that is inserted in her hood, she is very aware of what it does to her. Even when she is not moving, it seems her clitoris is a little stimulated. When she moves though, then it becomes quite stimulated. If she plays with it with her finger, well it is wonderful. This girl is now wet the whole time. This girl has touched herself since she had this piercing much more than she ever used to, in part because she needs to make sure the piercing is clean and healthy looking but also because she loves to feel it. To feel the metal and the secretions it causes this girl to create. She also touches it because she knows Master finds it arousing to know that his girl does such slutty things.

Writing this now, on a Sunday morning in May, this girl is feeling pretty horny and now must get on with masturbating before she gets up and on with her day.

This girl hopes that those reading here have been allowed to cum a little more this month than usual and that some of that has been in celebration of national masturbation month.

Permission

It is a long time since i have needed to seek permission to orgasm outside of the bed room. Indeed for long periods of part 2 of the time with S i didn’t always ask when we were in the throws of passion – it depended on the context of the scene at the time.

While new D doesn’t own me in the full sense of the word, Saturday afternoon was clearly important in terms of the balance of power. i have gladly handed over ownership of my body and definitely my orgasms. 
We were able to chat online last evening. We had something of a short scene in chat and also chatted on yahoo. All the time, hubby was in the room, dozing on the sofa. I haven’t been this bad in a long long time and have to admit a little bit of guilt. However that is by the by since this is not about my relationship (or lack of it with hubby) but about my emerging relationship with new D.
When i am getting regular sex, i don’t need to orgasm much on my own. But it has been a few days now and anyway chatting about sex and what you might like to do to each other is quite a turn on. So i sought permission and was granted it.
i have a new little vibrator, recently purchased at a high street lingerie and toy shop. This morning after hubby left for work i gave it a road test. This is how it looks, boy is it a powerful little thing! The best thing tough was being able to imagine being with new D and having him give me pleasure as well as knowing that even though he wasn’t there this was his gift to me. Of course once the waves of pleasure had subsided and was lying still i thanked him for that gift. That also felt good, as i know i will also feel pleasure when i hope he tells me i am a good girl. 
………………………………….
There are complications to all of this. He does as i think i mentioned at the beginning have a long term and long distance Master / slave relationship. There has been agreement that while they apart they can both have another relationship. He has already handed day to day care to another Dom, though remains her owner. He seeks something closer to home for the time being. 
There are several things for me to get my head around here. First is my understanding of their relationship which is very real and also M/s. Since my experience is around scenes and playing with your partner, this is something very different. Next there is the way in which the two of them are dealing with Him having me on the scene. Then there is my relationship with Him.
In a way, knowing that this is probably two people seeking something from each other in a time limited way is a good thing for me. I am in danger of falling for someone before i am really ready emotionally. But as we all know it isn’t quite so easy to control emotions, especially during the deeper more intense moments of D/s, such as we experienced on Saturday.
But for now, i retain my level head and am happy to proceed with just a little caution. Plus i am willing to hand over an important part of myself – access to my body and control of my orgasms.

Life feels good

I haven’t posted here for a few weeks. For once, it isn’t because I don’t want to write something, or because there has been nothing to say. It is just because I have been busy; and in a good way.

I spent part of last weekend with S. After a day of getting on top of home related things (Cupboard clearing part of the preparation for a new kitchen which gets fitted this coming week), I set off. For once, the roads were clear and within 2 hours (trust me that is good going), I was with him. We spent a pleasant evening with some of his friends – BBQ, wine and good conversation – in what will be the last evening out of doors this year.
Back at his we were not late to bed. We were both weary (he had been on a cycle ride during the day and I had as I said been busy in the kitchen), but a few kisses led to some touches and before I knew it, he was inside me. After 3 weeks, it was a wonderful feeling as he pushed inside and stretched me once again. Then as we moved together, as he made me cum and then as he pushed his cock into my tight tight ass. Finally as he came inside me, I felt a huge sense of pleasure and well being. 
In the morning S cooked us some very good scrambled eggs with toast – did I ever say how much he looks after me when I am with him? Yes of course, but it is worth saying that he is a great cook!! So much so that I don’t really like scrambled eggs, but love his!!
The day was beautiful, more like summer than some summer days often are. We spent some time planning a geocaching trip. Then, went back to bed.
This time I put on some underwear. Stockings and suspenders, heels – his favourite kind of thing. Then lay in wait. 
Stroking me, he noted just how wet I was. Wet and wanton. Positioning himself so he could carry on stroking me, he made it clear he wanted me to suck his cock. I took him into my mouth, gradually taking him deeper. Somehow, I was in the optimum position and he slipped further and further down, yet unusually for me, I didn’t gag. Not even once! All the time, he was working my clit, stroking me there, pinching and bringing me to the edge, time and time again. For the first time in maybe months I really let myself sink into those feelings. 
At some point, I requested nipple clamps. But he said he wasn’t quite sure where they were, so applied a human version. There were moments over the next little while when I wondered quite why I had made that request, but as always there was a fine line between pain and pleasure and so pleasure won!
We spent the day out in the beautiful countryside not far from where S lives. Walking, chatting, getting my all time best number of caches in a day. Eating our picnic, drinking our tea. Generally enjoying each others company.
On the way home, it occurred to me that I am just pretty happy right now. Things with S are different to before.  I am not sure how, but they are and what is more they are different in a very good way.