The collar is the symbol of who I am and to Master’s ownership of me. In the 18 months or so since He placed it around my neck, I have rarely removed it. At the beginning I used to do so to fly, since I was nervous of the whole airport security thing. But I have discovered that titanium does not set off airport security and if that is the case then the airport people are not bothered. Once or twice I have received a knowing smile but in the main nothing. At work very few people ever mentioned it, other than to admire it. My hairdresser loves it and would like one for herself. If people do mention it then they call it a necklace or tort.
I have come to realise that often people don’t really notice things about people, what they wear, how healthy they look, in the main they are wrapped up in themselves. It’s interesting that many people on fetlife worry about what people will think and say about them wearing this kind of symbol. Perhaps if Master had insisted I wear a dog collar 24/7 I might not feel the same, but since he hasn’t and I love what he gave me I am proud to wear it.
What is your favourite accessory?
We discussed this question last night. Master is already bored with this whole 365 question thing and he isn’t even compiling the answers. What constitutes and accessory, he asked.
I had my own ideas, but checking the online dictionary told me that an accessory is: A thing added to something else to make it more useful, versatile or attractive.
So if my neck were the thing then a scarf, when it is cold would be useful.
A necklace would be attractive.
A slave collar? What is that?
Useful? Versatile? Attractive?
To Master, perhaps all three. Useful to signify that I am his slave. Versatile since it can be pulled, pushed and generally used for his pleasure. Attractive since he loves to see me wearing it.
For me, it just tells me who and what I am. It tells those who want and care to know who I belong to. For others it is an interesting piece of jewellery.
But truly a necessity to me.
So these questions might be dull but I will carry on and to the best of my ability will try to apply them to my kink, to my slavery.
It does nothing for my double chin, but Master likes it and so do I. This was one of my Christmas presents…………
As the end of the year approaches, I have decided to make a few changes to the blog, some tidying up and a new theme. I am quite happy with the effect, but we will see.
Following on from Tuesday’s post, this is the second half of the year in review.
In July a slave knelt before Master while a titanium collar was placed around her neck. So 18 months after we first met, an really external symbol of my slavery. To be honest few people have commented, and I think that most people just see it as a piece of jewellery and once that many seem to like. It hasn’t been taken off very much and I am sure as time passes the need to do so will reduce even further. It is now part of me and part of what we are.
On 23rd August I wrote about the kind of kinky dress Master likes to see His girl wear. The harnesses He has bought me and the posture collars denote the way in which He loves me to dress for Him. On this holiday he has pointed out some short skirts and even leather shorts worn with opaque tights that he would like to see me in. I do love to dress for Him, but a bit more weight needs to be shed before the short shorts make an appearance (unless He says otherwise of course).
In early September I took my mum for a short break to France. This meant that Master and I were not only apart, but it was difficult to maintain our usual forms of communication. I have to admit I do struggle during these times, but hope that I am learning from these experiences since one of those separations is coming up when I leave Master in Spain and return to work in just over a week.
I only posted 3 times in October – I was going through a pretty lean blogging patch, but 2 of them seem worthy of mention here. This first one mentioned the wonderful tag Master bought for me to wear with my collar. I love it and though, because of its weight I haven’t worn it often, recently I did so at our local Christmas munch. It made me feel very proud and was commented on by a number of people. In out of the blue, Master reminded the slave she should never be complacent and that at any time she could be given a task. A good thing too!
The length of my hair is frequently mentioned here on my blog and it is something I know Master is serious about. It is a case of when not if it becomes much shorter.
So to the end of the year and our lovely Christmas together. An end, but also the start of a new year. Thank you everyone who stops by to read about my journey. That will definitely continue into 2016. Happy New Year.
The thing that always pulls me back into the submissive mindset is when Master refers to me as girl, rather than saying for example ‘you’ or using my given name (though to be honest he doesn’t often do that). I am always girl, or this girl, in bed and during a scene; it is my slave name. There are plenty of other names I am called – slut, bitch, cunt; but always girl. If Master reminds me that I should be referring to myself as ‘this girl’, well then that is enough to stop me dead in my tracks and to comply with his wishes. I have to admit I find it interesting that this is the case since I know well I am a woman, a middle aged woman, but to him I am girl; this girl. Of course if he should refer to me as ‘good girl’, well then I am in my element. A swooning submissive slave girl.
The collar is my real world trigger. It is made of titanium and so is not as heavy as a collar made of steel. There are times, whole hours worth of time, when I forget I have it on. I might catch sight of myself in the mirror and there it is plain as day. A sign of slavery, ownership; submission. Sometimes I wonder why the collar of my dress / shirt feels so heavy, and realise it is the collar. Then there are the times I wake with the collar in an odd position and think about the fact I am his slave. After 4 months or so of wearing the collar I can truly say that it continues to add to my feelings of submission. I love wearing it and love the fact that he and I know what it means and also that there are people out there who also know. I also like the fact that 99% of the people who encounter me during my daily life have no idea, most don’t even notice more than some chunky jewellery.
My go to remedy every time would be the butt plug. There is something about the cool metal slipping into the space where you feel nothing should probably be placed. The pressure that you need to apply to get it to ease past the tightness of the anal sphincter and the feeling as it pops into place. Then the feeling of fullness and the effect it seems to have on my general wellbeing. The way it relaxes me and helps me think about who and what I am. Plus, yes, the way it reminds me of what else finds its way into that very space. Master knows the effect the plug has on me, and will instruct me to insert it when he feels I am getting just that little bit bratty, anxious or both.
Master loves to frame this girl’s tits in a harness and have her sit naked except for the leather, and of course the collar. He loves to have access to his girl’s body and to touch and to play with her while He watches a film.
For her part, this girl finds wearing this kind of harness arousing. The feel of the collar, which restricts her neck movements, and holds her head up in the correct posture. The framing of her tits as they sit proudly on display for His enjoyment.
Master believes that his slave should always be ready for use and spending time wearing the harness makes her ready and what is more, He wasted no time in making use of her. He took numerous orgasms from her slutty body, sending her deep into the slave space they both love her to inhabit. A place where His power and dominance shine through for them both to see and to feel.
For us, M/s is all about those things. It is about His control and her deep submission to that control. The harness helps this girl to find her inner slut, the exhibitionist and what is more it makes Him horny.
You may notice from this photo that Master managed to get the harness inside out this time, it can be a bit complicated after a glass of wine or three.
There is really only one thought in this girl’s mind right now and not surprisingly it is about the fact she is a collared slave. For one thing, she is still aware of the weight of the collar; while it is not heavy (it is made of titanium) it is heavier than anything this girl has previously worn. Add to that the fact that she hasn’t really been wearing anything at all around her neck for a while (since her gold chain snapped a year or two ago), then that is not surprising.
To be honest, being aware of the collar this week is a good thing. The cuff felt like that for a week or two as well, and now she is used to it, this girl forgets it is there unless she looks at it. On top of the feel of the metal around her neck is catching sight of it. This girl is spending a little more time in front of the mirror right now. Checking how the collar looks with various outfits – what a vain thing she is all of a sudden! Add to that, the need to touch the thing, to feel it’s coolness as this girl runs her fingers over it. On a downside, you need to be careful when using the hairdryer – it certainly heats up quickly when you are drying the back of your hair.
So far few people have said anything about the collar, just a couple of people at work. Two female work colleagues who have admired it and one male colleague who called it an interesting piece of jewellery. Family observations will follow, this girl is sure, once she is seen with it constantly. It will be the fact that she always wears it, that may provoke more in the way of comment.
This girl is definitely looking forward to going to the next munch with Master in her new collar; she will be proud to be seen as His property.
But the main thing for this girl is that Master loves to look at it and to admire it, close up of from afar. For us it means an acknowledgement of our roles as Master and slave. A chance to show ourselves and others that this relationship is important and meaningful.
The collar is a symbol, the relationship itself is the important thing. This girl is committed to that relationship and happy to be His slave.
Master has gone home after a lovely weekend together and this girl now has some time to reflect on the weekend and on our relationship generally. Yesterday, before the collaring Master reminded this girl about her use of the word I, rather than speaking in the third person as she is meant to do. At the beginning it was one of the things that helped this girl manage herself and the stresses of daily life.
It would be true to say that this lapse is just one of the ways in which she has been falling a little short. When a couple doesn’t live together it is really easy to let bad habits creep in. For a slave in that situation it is perhaps too easy to know that He can’t see her all of the time and that He doesn’t want to have to micromanage her behaviours
For this girl though, last night’s collaring feels like a good way to think again about making sure she is being the best possible slave for her Master and is serving Him in the ways that He wishes. So this girl is going to make some changes, to correct some of those things and to prepare the way for further adjustments that she knows are to come.
The two key things that this girl needs to think about are really simple to fix – the first as she has eluded to relate to the use of the third person when engaging with Master. This is designed to help remind this girl that she is a thing, a possession. She knows this to be the case, but needs to remember her place which communicating with Master. As part of this adjustment, this girl is going to use the third person much more when blogging.
The second area that needs to change is that this girl should be wearing one of her butt plugs twice a week to sleep. The problem is that she can’t actually remember the last time she did wear it. This could be easily combined with the requirement that when she loses focus, she look in the the mirror and say out loud that she belongs to Master. This girl feels that these two rules could easily be combined and used much more frequently, along with a new need to kneel. So even without the rewriting of rules this girl will spend some time when alone in the house in the evening kneeling, plugged in front of the mirror in her bedroom thinking about her submission and getting into the right headspace. Then on some of those evenings, this girl will leave the plug in place for the night. As Master has reminded girl, wearing the plug helps to centre her and to allow stresses to evaporate.
This girl is still on a high, sitting here as Master’s collared slave. But she recognises that wearing His collar brings with it new responsibilities. This feels like a new chapter in this girl’s journey as Master’s slave.
Late last night this girl knelt, knees wide, hands upwards, naked before her Master while He placed a collar around her neck and tightened the screw. Then He drew on her breasts and tummy.
This symbol, which Master created from the letters MPB is going to form this girl’s tattoo; He thinks that this would be a good position for it. The little bruise is a result of the way in which Master used his slave after she had been collared.
This mark is on girl’s tummy (a little faded as it was post shower) and use her He did. Last night as a play thing – she lay naked, and open for Him to feel, kiss and bring to orgasm after orgasm, while He sat clothed. Then this morning she was thoroughly fucked by Him.
Now this girl has been collared, the contract and rules we have will be re-visited. This girl has been lax in sticking to some of the prescribed rules and Master hasn’t really punished her for those lapses. It seems very likely that this will change. This morning, this girl is one very very happy slave.
This weekend this girl almost became a collared slave. The collar was a little tight (though it fitted around her neck, it was far too snug) and needs replacing. But the cuff as seen yesterday, is in place. There may be no collar as yet, but this girl has no doubt that she is owned and collared. It is just a matter of time.
Meanwhile there is the matter of the tattoo(s) – when did we agree to two? So this weekend Master drew on the side of the tit that He owns, the initials MPB – He has thought this thing through and this girl is happy with that one. Then there will be the tramp stamp.
This week at work this girl was required to update personal details held by HR. Master is now her next of kin when it comes to that particular situation. This relationship is all encompassing it is what we both want and need right now.
As He tightens His control over this girl she feels increasingly safe, happier than she has felt, well probably forever. She hopes this is not creating too much pressure, though suspects not.
At the munch we attend most regularly, a new acquaintance suggested to this girl that D/s and M/s is a game that he is playing. But as Master tightens His control over this girl she knows that the person is wrong. This is no game, it is not make believe but part of our lives.
A very important part of our lives too.