365 Questions – January 18th

The best part of today was………….


There were a couple:
Receiving this text from Master this morning at 10.37 – 
Plus being told by a couple of colleagues at a conference today that I look good and being asked if I have lost weight!

Needy

It has been 8 days since she felt His hands on her body and 9 since He permitted an orgasm. It will be another 6 days until she will see Him again and can feel His hands on her and hear Him tell her that she is His.


She walks slowly up stairs and finds the plug. Of the two available she choses the larger.

She removes her jeans and panties, and bends over and presses it against her anus. There is resistance, it has been a while since this larger piece of metal has been inside her.

She realises that she is trying to push it in upside down, she swivels and, with a push it slips into place.

She remembers that His desire for her to wear this plug is with good reason.

She lies down on the bed and observes herself in the mirror. Slimmer than before, but certainly not where she would like to be. She photographs the evidence, the bush that He likes so much.

She opens her legs and turns on the vibe. Tonight there is no need for internal penetration, what she needs is to feel the pulsating instrument on her clit, vibrating from her piercing, it will find its own way inside. She applies direct pressure and spends some time just enjoying the pleasure.

She knows that any orgasms do not belong to her, but she also knows that Master won’t deny this pleasure. She knows what she needs to do and to say.

Gradually the tell tale signs build within her. She arches her back, and moves towards the pleasure that awaits. She knows she much be patient, and that her time will come. Well, not her time but His. The vibrations hit her body and reverberate around her neediness, she waits patiently and then just as she knows that the orgasm is imminent she speaks aloud.

This is yours Master.

Out loud she tells Him “thank you Master” and she knows that while He is not with her, He knows that his needy girl has been satisfied. For now.

365 questions – January 16th

Who do you love?

I never expected to love again like I love him. The relationship, which started two years ago online and progressed quickly to a real time thing wasn’t meant to involve love. It was meant to be about play in the BDSM sense and it was meant to be temporary.

Those expectations quickly changed as we recognised not only a desire in each other, but true and deep love.

I really do love Master:

I love him with my heart, in the way that I get excited not only when I can see him in the flesh but also when I speak to him, and even when he texts me.

I love him with my mind; he has opened up so many opportunities: reading, concerts, plays and musicals. Plus the discussions we have about just anything. I love the way we both get so much fun from people watching, I love the way we laugh so much, the way we can be serious one minute and just so full of fun the next.

I love him with my body. This man quickly came to recognise what I needed, both in terms of the way I could give him the pleasure he desires, but also the way he gets so much pleasure through me. He arouses me like no man ever has before. I love the way a word, a touch a look can have such an effect on me. I love the look in his eyes as he again recognises that the power he has over me just increases his desire for me.

On new years day morning after something of a heavy night, he traced my body with his fingers. He told me how much he wanted and needed me and he told me how much he loved me. Loved me more than he had previously known.

This love is true love and it is something that I will guard and protect at all costs.

I love Him

Submissive Coffee Club #176

SCC Writing prompt
Prompt Set #176
 Are you happy with quiet and graceful submission or do you sometimes long to be tamed?
I am not sure I am particularly quiet or graceful, indeed last night on Skype I was accused (quite rightly) of talking over Master when he is trying to say something. I can’t seem to help my need to get out my own view, and I know I really have to stop doing it. I am maybe acting out a little bit, since he is currently away and I am here doing the mundane stuff of going to work etc. I am probably better when we are together and I can feel the effects of his dominance over me more effectively. In turn, he probably ought to be a little stricter with me, but I guess that would take some work. In general though he is pretty good at keeping me in line. 
Do you act out just to feel the reassurance of your Dominant’s power over you?
Not really, or certainly not knowingly. Having said that, I do find his power reassuring and I know that he finds my submission and his power erotic. After close on two years together, I suppose we have just settled into what feels right for us. 
Why can extra structure feel good when the world outside your submission is stressful?
I think that extra structure helps me to refocus on what is important in life and makes me remember who and what I am. The only really important thing is that I am his slave and it is good for me to remember that. Serving him is my purpose in life and that is where my focus should be. By reminding me of those things, I am easily brought into line, Physical things, like wearing my plug or a posture collar, or even kneeling also help.

Back to reality

There is something reassuring about being back in your usual routine after a period away from it. I quite like home, my own bed, the shower which is all too often more efficient than the ones you get in hotels, a choice of the entire wardrobe, a comfy sofa…..

All of those things have been an enjoyable part of being home. What has been less so has been the return to work and the feeling that I am trapped in a time warp where everything remains as it was in December and that to be honest, I don’t really want to be there. The health service feels like a hamster wheel; it is January so we must be worrying about our budget allocations (announced in time for Christmas), the contracts which will start in April, service specifications, KPIs and stuff like that. Round and round we go and to be frank I would really like to get off.

Added to that is the virus I managed to pick up on my last day or two in Spain and which has developed into a full blown cold complete with a feverishness which has me feeling a little ropey during the day and adds to my menopausal night sweats and prevents proper sleep. I find it hard to believe I have gone from the calm and well rested being managing to get 8 hours plus sleep a night to this in such a short time.

What is more, Master is still in Spain. While I am enduring the torture of work and the stresses of failing to give up my nightly gin and tonics he is busy swanning around Seville enjoying himself and updating Facebook with the evidence. Not that I begrudge him his fun, of course I don’t.

Ok, so I am just feeling a little sorry for myself, even though (apart from the virus) there is little to feel sorry about. I had an amazing 3 week holiday, I am still reasonably rested, the stresses of work are mostly passing over my head and any irritation I feel about Facebook photos of ham, fish and triple parking outside his apartment are just plain jealously that he is there and I am here.

Skyping with him of a night provides a reminder of our separation, but we both know it only has another 9 days to go. I plan to join him in Spain next weekend to accompany him back on the ferry home. A weekend together again will be fun and it will give me some slave time. He mentioned my lack of contract compliance last night, and it is true that I am not always the perfect slave girl. But in the main, I am coping well with this separation even if I would rather be there with him. I am enduring work in the knowledge that pay day will arrive and that I like to buy nice things.

Maybe the reality of normal life isn’t so bad. All I need now is to shake off the cold and get myself a good nights sleep. Maybe tonight I will request an orgasm to help with that…………

365 questions – January 11th

What is your favourite accessory?

A girl like me just needs one accessory, whether naked or dressed. That is the collar placed around my neck by Master in July last year. The little tag further accessorises it for special occasions – one side is my slave barcode and on the other MPB.

The year in review – part 2

As the end of the year approaches, I have decided to make a few changes to the blog, some tidying up and a new theme. I am quite happy with the effect, but we will see.

Following on from Tuesday’s post, this is the second half of the year in review.

In July a slave knelt before Master while a titanium collar was placed around her neck. So 18 months after we first met, an really external symbol of my slavery. To be honest few people have commented, and I think that most people just see it as a piece of jewellery and once that many seem to like. It hasn’t been taken off very much and I am sure as time passes the need to do so will reduce even further. It is now part of me and part of what we are.

On 23rd August I wrote about the kind of kinky dress Master likes to see His girl wear. The harnesses He has bought me and the posture collars denote the way in which He loves me to dress for Him. On this holiday he has pointed out some short skirts and even leather shorts worn with opaque tights that he would like to see me in. I do love to dress for Him, but a bit more weight needs to be shed before the short shorts make an appearance (unless He says otherwise of course).

In early September I took my mum for a short break to France. This meant that Master and I were not only apart, but it was difficult to maintain our usual forms of communication. I have to admit I do struggle during these times, but hope that I am learning from these experiences since one of those separations is coming up when I leave Master in Spain and return to work in just over a week.

I only posted 3 times in October – I was going through a pretty lean blogging patch, but 2 of them seem worthy of mention here. This first one mentioned the wonderful tag Master bought for me to wear with  my collar. I love it and though, because of its weight I haven’t worn it often, recently I did so at our local Christmas munch. It made me feel very proud and was commented on by a number of people. In out of the blue, Master reminded the slave she should never be complacent and that at any time she could be given a task. A good thing too!

The length of my hair is frequently mentioned here on my blog and it is something I know Master is serious about. It is a case of when not if it becomes much shorter.

So to the end of the year and our lovely Christmas together. An end, but also the start of a new year. Thank you everyone who stops by to read about my journey. That will definitely continue into 2016. Happy New Year.

This year in review – Part 1

As the year draws to a close it feels right to look back over this blog and to think about the things that have happened and the ways in which my relationship with Master has developed. Also, since we are still in Spain and this trip is not the hectic round of sightseeing that other holidays have been about, I also have some time on  my hands. I make no excuse for the reflective or long nature of this post.

In January, I wrote about happiness – I would say this has been the theme of my year. I really am happier now than I have ever been, but not just that, people remark that I look happy. I took a selfie on Christmas day which I posted on Facebook. People, including Master commented that I look really happy and I am.

The wonderful Molly’s website is not only a great place to visit to read about her life with Domsigns, but she also hosts various memes and projects, most recently Kink of the week, which I have begun to contribute to. In February I decided to take part in February Photofest, a project to post a kink related photo everyday for the month. It was challenging, but fun and this post is from that month. I include it also because those of us on blogger received emails to tell us that our kind of blogs  – with sexual content  – would no longer be allowed. There was something of an out cry and within weeks Google backed down. I did buy my own domain and transferred my content across, but haven’t actually got around to changing things. Still it is there, ready for next time.

Becoming Master’s slave has brought me a level of contentment that I would never have believed possible. In March we registered ‘this girl’ on the slave registry website. It seemed like a natural progression given our journey that far. Slavery has given me a way to draw a line under the life I had before, where I acted in a slave like way, but without the support and guidance of a Master. This year really has been the beginning of something wonderful.

I would never have imagined when I began my World of Joolz blog in April 2012 that I would have ended up where I am now. It took a great amount of nerve to do what I did in those first few weeks and writing about it has helped me to be able to recognise the journey I have travelled since then. I know Master still reads back to the early days of my blog and also the beginning of our own relationship. He finds it interesting to look back and to discuss with me my early hopes and assumptions. This post from April celebrated the third anniversary of my blog.

Also in April, we went on our first proper holiday together. There had been a number of weekends away in France, Amsterdam and in London but this was different. It was a chance to spend 2 whole weeks together and to test out whether this relationship was likely to stand the test of a prolonged time together. Also a chance to embrace the Master / slave relationship.

In May we celebrated our first year as Master and slave. That year had been both enjoyable and difficult. When He took me as His slave, he also had another. At that time, I was secondary and expected the whole thing to end by the beginning of this year. Together though we managed the emotional turmoil of the end of that relationship and the deepening of this. For me, I have learnt what it is to be Master’s slave and how to manage the time together and apart.

Mostly I try to write this blog for myself, but when I am short of ideas, I often turn to one of Molly’s memes or else to Kayla Lord’s Masturbation Monday. In May I made my first post there, and that has become my most read post to date. I have to admit it is great to share an experience I have enjoyed with Master with a wider audience. It also leads to exploring the blogs of other contributors.

There hasn’t been as much play in our lives this year as we would have liked. This has been mainly due to Master having a shoulder problem for much of that time which caused a great deal of arm pain and restricted movement. Thankfully that has now resolved and hopefully there is lots of fun and games to come. This post from June though is about play times and about Master’s desire to continue the education and experiences of His slave.  Also in June I exchanged the chain I had worn on my wrist for just over 6 months for a cuff. The collar would come next.

Kink of the week – Semen

As a few people have mentioned in response to this topic, us girls don’t always have a history of enjoying the experience of tasting or feeling our lover’s semen. But when the relationship is right and we are given the opportunity to know more about ourselves and our lover then this is one of the things we also come to enjoy. Such has been the case for me.

Before Master there was S and before that hubby. With hubby, for a reason i cannot explain, I found no pleasure in sucking cock or indeed in experiencing the warm damp feeling of his cum. I am not sure he enjoyed it himself, indeed perhaps he found it almost repulsive, something to consign to a tissue. Perhaps that is the clue.
With S, I was encouraged to enjoy his cock, which I did and to taste and feel his spunk. I did these things, as I knew it was what he wanted from me and gradually I began to enjoy.
Things with Master have moved on in spades though. I love the taste and feel of His cock and gradually I have learned to savour the different substances that emerge from it. The taste is not always perfect, it depends on what he has consumed in the day or so before. But it is always an interesting experience. Part of this is the fact that he has no fear of either of our bodily fluids, indeed he feels they are part of the overall experience of our sex life. But it is not all about taste, it is about feel and about being used about being his slave.
Early on in our relationship Master told me that he no longer wished me to shave. I had assumed this was something all Dominants wanted after my experience of S and reading blogs, fetlife and other websites. No, he wanted me to grow a cultured bush that he could use as a landing mat! It took both he and I by surprise that it took quite so many months to grow my bush back into any kind of hairy place, but that is what exists now. What is more, it is my eternal pride to say that Master loves the feel of that place so much the the touches it frequently when the opportunity arises. 
Often I can see that he is considering where to shoot his load; my mouth, my cunt, arse, or indeed the silky fur (as he calls it) of my bush or some other place on my body. Where ever it goes it will be hot, salty or sweet and it will have that special smell that I have come to love, but we are middle aged people so this is a one off thing today, and he is the boss, he choses and I enjoy that choice.

Not a travel blog

Just in case anyone was worried that MPB is turning into a travel blog, this post will hopefully reassure that there is definitely more to it. That said, we have settled into such domestic and festive bliss that kink is pretty low key. Not that I am complaining since there is always the knowledge that I am the slave and He the Master; that is an ever present fact.

Last night when we returned from dinner and drinks, Master informed me that I had been bratty – probably true – and tried the new collar, a padded posture collar on me for size. Then told me to wear it for a while. I really love the feel of the leather and it’s width. There is no way you can forget you are wearing it since it is difficult to move your head up and down. I was right, it was the one I tried at Sexpo recently, and I look forward to being made to wear it again soon (is that a bratty attitude in itself?)

This morning Master decided that He needed to use His cunt. Increasingly that is His name for me during sex. It is amazing how easy it is to slip into that role, as His cock plunges in for the first time. I say role, but is it? Or is that the new reality, it is hard to tell. This morning He teased my clit with His cock and then used His cock as a means to masturbate me, telling me that He wanted to feel the spasms of His cunt as she came. Being told that was almost enough to bring me to an immediate orgasm, but of course He started his count down, from 10 this time and it helped to settle me down for at least the first 5. As His cock rubbed against me and I told Him that I was His cunt I knew that as soon as He reached 1 I would explode as requested. The power that He has over this girl, this cunt, this slave is immense. This is the reality of life, it really isn’t just a role I play. He controls me and my orgasms. But much more, He controls my life in a way I love.

Here, away from everyone, together 24 hours a day, there is very little I need to concern myself with. I am loving that I have no need to decide anything for myself, and that I am able to be more of the slave I want and need to be. Outside interference is at a minimum and while of course that won’t last for ever, the memories certainly will.

For the first time in a while I am wearing a plug and as usual that is helping to keep me in a place of arousal even as I sit here typing and He sits opposite me reading stuff on his own tablet. Always ready for Him and whatever He requires from me.

To be wanted, needed and to be used. What more can a slave desire?