#SoSS November 2018

It is a very long time since I wrote a #SoSS. It isn’t that I don’t read and comment on other blogs, I do. But I am not so good at getting my shit together to work out which ones I want to share. Let alone writing about it. But in an attempt to start my new years resolutions early I’m planning to write one each month.

It was reading this post of May’s about shadow banning that prompted me. When I was shadow banned, it irritated the hell out of me. Lately though since I have other things to worry about it had all slipped my mind. I’m picking up new followers so I don’t think I am on the banned list right now. I shall make a point of sharing more posts on Twitter though so that they get seen. 

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt was writing, it was great to read about everyone’s writing and blogging history. I particularly loved Modesty’s post (and accompanying photo), and hadn’t realised she had published her Modest Diaries. They certainly seem worth a read. Also worth checking out is Floss’s post. Not only is she a wonderful writer of fiction and non fiction, she is also a poet. I am in awe of the talent that is out there amongst our blogging community. 

On the theme of writing, the Smut Marathon reaches the final voting round tomorrow. I haven’t written any fiction since the round where I got knocked out. The monthly assignments certainly made me get on with writing and I know my style and content improved over time. Marie will be running the competition again next year (as she tells us in her #SoSS today) and entries open quite soon. I am undecided as yet whether to enter. But I will give it serious consideration. 

when I write these blog sharing posts, I try to include something new. I didn’t so much find The happy Kinky Couple, as they found me to ask to swap links, which I am happy to do. They are a couple, like us in their 50’s who found kink relatively recently and have just begun to write about it. Their blog can be found here – go have a read. 

Finally I would like to thank everyone for the support you have given me over the past couple of months. Discovering I have breast cancer is the definitely the worst thing that has happened to me and to us. The love and support from fellow bloggers and twitter folk has been a great help. I plan to continue to write my weekly diary. It is important for me to be able to describe the physical and emotional effects. But also, as many people have said it may help others in the future. This is the link to the posts (if I can’t self promote on my own blog, then where can I)? I don’t know if people are ready to see my new body, but I am almost ready to share. But that will be on another day. 


#SoSS: What’s to see?

Today’s post for ‘Every damn day in June’ is also a SoSS: What’s to see on the kinky web?

Work was so busy before I came away on holiday, that I had limited time to read and also write. I’ve struggled to look at all of the Sinful Sunday’s for last week and haven’t read most of the Wicked Wednesday posts. But I have read anything that has popped into my email inbox or twitter time line. So I am not entirely behind.

I have never participated in Hyacinth’s Boob day and must get round to it some time. I usually take a peek though and was drawn to Modesty’s offering. She manages to get into some great places for both Boob day and Sinful Sunday and this is no exception.

As most people know, Marie is one of the most active bloggers in our little community. Not only does she run Wicked Wednesday and the Smut Marathon but she also contributes to Masturbation Monday and Wicked Wednesday. This week she has posted a round up of all of the 12 word stories she has posted in May. For those that  don’t know about Story in 12, it is a Twitter based meme inviting readers to write a story in 12 words using a different prompt each day.  Started by Molly and Wriggly Kitty it has taken off really quickly and is great fun.

I met Posy Churchgate at Eroticon and we managed to have a chat, though not for as long as I would have liked as she was only there for the one day. Her post about being BDSM curious has resulted in much discussion. I came from a similar point to her, being curious and not knowing how to get my partner interested. For me though, there was no possibility of venturing into D/s or other aspects of BDSM with him. Instead I went out on my own and finally met the man I call Master. I admire the thoughtful way she is approaching this journey and the clarity she has about the importance of her long term relationship.

Finally for this post, May More has migrated her diaries from 1997. This will give us an insight to May before May Matters. I really do envy May this archive and also a life that was way more interesting than mine. I have read the first couple of posts but will be returning for much more. May was at Eroticon too, and we managed a longer chat. Trouble was it was in the pub at the social and wine was involved. Fingers crossed I get to meet up with both May and Posy again in the future.

 

Blogging A-Z 2018: SoSS

Today is Saturday and today’s letter is S, so it must be Share our Shit Saturday (SoSS). Most mornings this week we have had a slow, leisurely start to the day. This has given me time to blog and read blogs, engage with Twitter and even Facebook.

Favorite blog post of the week

Molly Moore wrote about her life as a voyeur and how she discovered just how much watching others turns her on. She related this to her experience with a former lover and then to the polyamorous relationship that she is now part of with her husband Michael and Cara who more recently came into their life. I was privileged to meet Cara when she was in the UK recently and can understand why Michael fell for her. That Molly has been able to welcome Cara into her life and Cara has made Michael so happy is wonderful.  But more than that, Molly explains how excited she is to share Michael with Cara.

I am actually quite in awe of their situation. When my relationship with Master started, I was the third person. His then slave was planning to join him here, but was still living in the US. She was almost immediately jealous of me and tried hard to undermine me. The result was that their relationship ended. So I didn’t get the chance to know whether I would have been turned on while they had sex. We have spoken about introducing another woman for play purposes, but it hasn’t happened. It is something I am curious about, but don’t know if I would be as accepting as Molly. The idea of kissing Master while someone else sucks his cock is quite a turn on though.

Scarlett Ladies – Blog post by The Other Livvy

I wasn’t aware of Scarlett Ladies until I read this post by Livvy. It is a sex positive network of women in London that includes events and meetings to attend as well as newsletters etc. They have a wonderful website, that I need to take a closer look at. Livvy’s blog post is an update on one she wrote soon after her marriage last year. Its about her decision to take her husband’s surname and whether this makes her less of a feminist.

When I got married in 1984 I never considered whether changing my name was a good or bad thing to do, I just did it. Only later, I found that a number of my nursing colleagues used both their maiden and married names. One for work and the other for home and family. This approach seems practical and sensible when it’s desirable to keep the two separate.

I have never thought of this as a feminist issue though, but rather as what is practical. Certainly friends who either weren’t married or else kept their maiden names encountered difficulties when their children went to school. The schools (at the time) struggled with knowing what to call a mother with a different name from their child. The children themselves of course, asked questions, so all having the same name is easy. Plus having a child with a different name at airport security can take a little extra time.

But none of this is important. What matters is doing what is right for you and for the right reasons. Livvy seems to have thought through her options and decided what she wants. This doesn’t make her less of a feminist, but demonstrates she is a woman who knows herself, her needs. She is also considering her husband and future family and that deserves respect.

Blogging A-Z 2018: M (and #SoSS)

Life has been crazy busy round here. Consequently I haven’t had much time for  the #SoSS meme. This is a round up and shout out to other sex bloggers and came about because of the trend towards censorship and twitter shadow banning. But since I need to write anyway, for the letter M, I have decided to make this a post for both A-Z Challenge and #SoSS.

M is for MentionMarie Rebelle mentioned me today on her round up and I took the word mention from her A-Z.

Some more mentions as follows:

Fellow bloggers have also been doing the April Blogging challenge. I especially like JZ’s. Hers are all about cooking, I urge you to take a look. Her stories are great and there is huge debate on many topics. This one is about the new fangled Instant Pots, which to me are just snazzy pressure cookers. Like JZ I have enough gadgets and prefer slow to fast cooking. I know this isn’t sex, per say but food is very important!

Submissy’s posts are about her life as a submissive, and have enabled her to review some of her previous posts. I intended to do this, but have been too unorganised. That in itself makes her worthy of a visit, but her posts are well worth the read. This one on Head, humiliation and happy ever afters talks about how the ability to switch off from day to day life can be helped through submission.

Charley at Sex blog of sorts expanded on her very good smut marathon entry. Katy the girl who has everything and is fantastic at all she does. Who hasn’t known someone a bit like that. There is a flaw though and reading it from a mum’s point of view and as a nurse would consider post natal depression. Or maybe she really does love her husband more than her child.

I was really disappointed at my smut marathon third round result. I received some great feedback but didn’t score at all. Critics were correct, it was difficult to know which of my characters had the flaw. My mistake was that both did. Still on to the next round.

Hannah Lockhardt is the latest twitter account to be shadow banned. I love her post telling us about the post eroticon adventures she has planned. Plenty future blog material there.

Finally Eye, wrote an amazing piece this week about being owned. I so identify with her about her journey to recognising herself as submissive and it’s effect on her. I love that she is able to express her wants and needs through this post.

Sharing the love – SoSS #4

Many of my posts come from the many memes that our fellow bloggers organise on our behalf. It is difficult to keep up with them all. I find when I am writing lots, I have little time for reading and vice versa. This week I have written less than of recent, though what I have had to say has been reasonably profound.

I am really pleased to have contributed to the newly re-started Food For Thought Friday, on the topic of oral sex. As I have often stated, there were very few blow jobs and cunnilingus in my life before I strayed from my marriage. I was particularly struck by Indigo’s experiences. Firstly inexperience and fear and then later by the menopausal effects of the way our bodily fluids change in smell and taste.

Also through FFTF I found Eugene Noale’s blog. I loved his post Cinnomon and Cumin, but also I am really pleased to have discovered him. I love the photos of him and his open, honest and deep words. His post about his marriage, struck a note with me, given the one I am now free of.

That brings me to something I feel I need to say about the whole #SoSS thing. I know it was set up as a way of making sure people see the great words that are written each week. Plus the beautiful pictures that are posted. Words and images that mainstream social media would like us to keep to ourselves. May Moore spoke on Twitter about being Shadow banned again. This means that only those who follow May (and others who are shadow banned) can see her twitter posts. Without others sharing that information then, her lovely photos for February Photofest won’t be seen other than by those who already know her.  Kayla discussed the matter of shadow banning and other social media censorship on her Smutlancer blog this week. Essentially she says that we have very little influence over the social media companies and should just do our own thing. I think she is right, but then I haven’t been shadow banned (yet).

I have been troubled that most people’s #SoSS only refer to blogs that their followers tend to know about and follow themselves. It would be really nice if we didn’t just promote people who are shadow banned, but also anything new we have discovered this week. I discussed this with Bacchus from ErosBlog on twitter and as he quite rightly pointed out SoSS wasn’t specifically meant to raise awareness of new blogs. But he did agree that I had a point (and I am always happy for people to agree with me).

So apart from Eugene Noale’s blog, which I only found this week I would also like to promote Dayliacatt on Fetcetera. This is a blog written by a slave who is every bit as feisty as I am ( perhaps more so), who like me is relatively new to the M/s lifestyle and who with her husband and Master is enjoying a new lease of life. She writes about her life and is also a very talented artist. Do go and take a look.

#SoSS No 3

Review of my favourite posts of the week

This is the first Saturday in ages that I have had the chance to sit down and write a Share our Shit Saturday (#SOSS) post. Partly because over the past few, very busy weeks, there has been little time for reading. Finally this week, I have had the chance to catch up.

My picks of the week

For the first time in ages, I have read all of the Wicked Wednesdayposts this week. The prompt 21 really got the creative juices going, in terms of real life and fiction. One the most powerful was from Hey Mrs Robinson.  This is a new blog find for me and I am now catching up on some of her previous posts. In the Wicked Wednesday post Mrs Robinson describes the long road taken before she and her husband finally got together. A painful journey of death, abuse and assault.

Another interesting post was from Sub Bee who gave her thoughts on her sexual experience of race. Our upbringing in terms of location and parental influences have far reaching consequences on our view of the world. Bee discusses the race aspect of the images we see on the net as well as being propositioned by those claiming to have a BBC (big black cock). Something I too have encountered and not been even slightly tempted to follow up. The post has me thinking too about the number of young, slim women we see profiled. Versus those of my age, I think that is a post waiting for me to write.

Bee’s post  inspired by a couple by Cara Thereon which are worth a read. I however want to point to another, about the level of outrage being expressed at the moment. About people getting out of their trees about stuff that annoys them. In the process they go on the attack. Shutting down views and conversation and not reading or listening to the views of others. We women, quite rightly have plenty to say right now. But not at the expense of being mean to each other.

I have been lucky not to experience sexual abuse from a partner or boyfriend. This was helped along by meeting my husband when I was a child. We started going out when I was only 15 and married at 21. I have only had 3 serious relationships in my life. Hy recounts an early experience of abuse from a boyfriend when she was 16 and he 19. This reminds me just how lucky I have been in my life and how future relationships are affected by past experience.

Review of 2017 and recommendations for 2018 (part 1)

So the end of the year is nigh. For me, this year has been a little bit strange. I started with hope and expectation and end, well with hope and expectation. Meanwhile I have travelled to new places, enjoyed new and very different experiences. But in many ways life remains the same. Perhaps 2018 then?

January

On January 1st I posted my predictions for the year ahead. I truly believed that this year I would sell the house and move in with Master. But mum deciding to move closer to my brother plus my ex’s parter wanting to buy my share of ours changed that. We have travelled to new places – Brussels, Toulouse and Alsace – Lorraine. But as for living together, hopefully next year.

February

On Feb 18th I shared the move to my own domain on Sinful Sunday. I completely underestimated the amount of work involved in a self hosted blog. But to be honest it has been worth it. I have a freedom here that I never experienced before. It is easier to manage than blogger and the move has helped me to express that freedom. Sinful Sunday is a wonderful meme run and hosted by Molly Moore on her blog Molly’s Daily Kiss. Within hours of my move, Molly’s husband Michael, web master extraordinaire  had identified some security issues on the blog (due to my naive ineptitude in the main) and helped me fix them. Sadly Michael doesn’t write very much these days, but when he does, the posts are well worth a read. Passionate, deeply sexy, serious or fun as the need arises.

March

On 6th March I shared my thoughts on our Eroticon experience. For the first time we had mixed with other kinky people. The weekend organised by Molly, Michael and Girl on the Net was almost overwhelming. We met new people, but found it difficult to interact with strangers. I learnt so much about writing and blogging, but have been almost too scared to put that learning into practice. But it was a real learning experience and this coming March I think we will take advantage of the experience so much more. I met many of the bloggers I admire at Eroticon but sadly didn’t speak to all of those I should have. For example Jerusalem Mortimer and Silver Dom

April

At the very end of March it was Master’s birthday. He decided to celebrate by taking us to the Secret Dungeon. In April I joined the Blogging A-Z challenge and introduced photos from the dungeon on 1st. Then described more of the environment and experience on 5th  – D for dungeon. To be honest it was an important time for us both. We were able to explore our kink in a way we hadn’t for a very long time. We created memories that have lived with us and what is more, it made us want to return for more. I am not sure if the a-z Challenge will run again in 2018, or if I will participate. But this year I had no shortage of material!

May

One of the things that might put me off of joining a whole month’s challenge such as Blogging A-Z or February Photofest is the potential for running out of steam. By May it was clear this was happening. On 6th May I posted ‘One of those update posts‘. It gave an indication of what was to come. I struggled with ideas and creativity, added to the pressure of normal life. A blogging drought. However May was also the month when Master’s new bathroom was installed, complete with jacuzzi bath! More of that in part 2.

In May too though I had the opportunity to provide the roundup and judge Wicked Wednesday for the first time. This for me was something of a learning experience. Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s Notes has had a difficult year. Coping with the distressing loss of her mum as well as the trauma of a flood in her home. I wasn’t able to meet her at Eroticon as sadly she was unable to travel to London while her mum was unwell. I so admire the work she puts into all elements of her blog, including Wicked Wednesday.  She has launched Smut Marathon, a writing competition, which starts in January.  Taking on the round up of Wicked Wednesday gave me a tiny insight into the lives of bloggers such as Marie and others who give so much to this community. But also it makes me want to contribute too.

June

In June I posted only twice. In my defence, we were on holiday in Alsace – Lorraine in France for 2 weeks of June. But to be honest I was a little out of ideas and had lost my blogging mojo. Reflections, for Sinful Sunday was an easily captured pair of photos. Perhaps though by looking deeper than the mirror and the person reflected within you consider more about the blogger. Why is she doing this? What is she trying to say? More of that in part 2. Tomorrow.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

#SoSS No. 2

It’s been a busy couple of weeks so, while November was much better in terms of writing and posting, there is room for improvement. It has now been confirmed that rather than happening before Christmas, mum will move on 12th January. This means that the pressure is off and I will have more time for me and us in the run up to Christmas. I have loads of ideas for blog posts and want to join in on writing something for the Eroticon Anthology. I just need to crack on and devote time to getting things done. Now though onto the purpose of this post – #SoSS (Share our Shit Saturday) No 2.

MPB’s picks of the week

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to go through the writings of a sister who passed away a year ago. A wrote some amazing stuff on the blog she shared with M. I am so thankful that M is sharing some of A’s early work with us. I was particularly struck by this amazing postthis week by Cammies On The Floor.

The Smut Marathon is something I would love to participate in, but am not sure I have the talent for. This is a 10 round writing marathon, which is being run and hosted by Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s notes. Probably time to just go for it!

Just as I was thinking about what posts to include, Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss published this years Top 100 Sex Blog for 2017. I was thrilled to see that Kayla Lords is in top spot. Well deserved placings too for so many of my favourite bloggers. Maybe too, inspiration to actually write more so that some day I get nominated for something like this.

Mean time it also means that I can go and read some new blogs, since I don’t know everyone in the list. More material for next week’s post too!

 

Share our Shit Saturday

Why do this?

Over the past few weeks a new meme has emerged. Share our Shit Saturday is designed to highlight the great sex bloggers out there on the inter web and all of the amazing work that they produce. There is so much wonderful stuff to find – raunchy fiction, beautiful poetry and prose, amazingly skilful photography and serious posts about the future of sex blogging.

To say the mainstream social media such as Facebook and Twitter are not keen on helping to promote us would be an understatement. The latest effort to prevent those tweeting anything deemed explicit is Shadow Banning. Twitter prevents accounts it deems undesirable from being seen by those not already following. Therefore it becomes difficult to promote websites, books, films etc. As a pretty low volume, low profile blogger, luckily this hasn’t happened to me as yet. But many of the sex blogging and writing community are shadow banned.

And, that is not all there is to worry about. Ever since we attended Eroticon  earlier in the year I have been aware of the legal issues that are approaching. Myles Jackman, a UK obscenity Lawyer very eloquently explained the legal minefield we face in showing and describing acts deemed obscene.

It is weird to think that just because you enjoy sex that is a little more kinky than the norm. Just because you may call your partner Sir or Master like to be spanked you are in some way abnormal. But that is definitely the case.

For some reason there is an obsession about children and young people accessing literature and photos deemed pornographic online. There seems less concern about violence or about ensuring that our youth are well educated and prepared for life. Enabled to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. The same politicians proposing and then passed this bill have been exposed as sex pests and abusers. Apparently this is less dangerous to the young than exposure to online porn!

In April 2018 there will be a requirement to have an age check mechanism on websites and online platforms providing ‘commercial’ pornography. Everything I read about this makes me believe that this is a data breach scandal waiting to happen. Not only that, but in my experience young people are very savvy about how to get around rules. So I am not even sure these mechanisms will be enough to stop a determined teen. None of us want children looking at our blogs and websites, let alone commercial porn. But this isn’t the way to stop them and it feels that along the way we all might end up being vilified at best and criminalised at worst.

My reading recommendations

This week I have been reading around the subject. Pandora Blakeprovides an excellent over view of the potential dangers of age verification.

Many of my fellow sex bloggers and authors use Patreon to help support and fund their work. I have to admit that until this week I had little knowledge of  some of the challenges everyone is facing. It seems that moves are afoot to stop erotic authors, photographers  and film producers being excluded from this support. I discovered ErosBlog  this week as I tried to find out more. I highly recommend reading this and other posts.

So onto some of the bloggers that I love and respect and their posts this week that I have enjoyed.

Molly wrote an amazing post for the Wicked Wednesday prompt Geography. I am in awe of her creativity as a blogger and photographer. I love that she used the geography of husband Michael’s body as the centre of the post.

Ann St Vincent has the most amazing poor luck in finding the right kind of guy to date. As we know, many people lie about their marital status, about their readiness for a new relationship or just about the fact that they are only around for a quick fuck. I love Ann’s blog, she manages to keep cheerful while weeding out the dross from the downright dishonest.

Fondles and I have a long history of visiting each other’s blog, reading and commenting. She started her relationship with BIKSS at the same time I met S and there were some similarities as our journey began. Various life things got in the way and Fondles stopped blogging for a while. Now, though she is back with a vengeance and we have reconnected via our blogs.

Given the huge introduction to the topic, that is it for today. But I do plan to make #SoSS a regular thing.