I’ve not been great at producing Share our Shit Saturday posts. This is partly because I often dont have my own shit together half the time. I read and comment on lots of blog posts every week, but often forget which have been my favorites. I’m determined though to make this year different and so since New Year have been saving posts in draft. Yes folks, the girl with no draft posts in her draft folder now has draft posts.
I’m not sure how often I’ll do these and I don’t want to set a target then fail at it. But here goes with number 1.
Violet Fawkes is already helping my motivation this month by running her January Jumpstart meme. So far I’ve missed only two days. But also, some of her own posts have caught my eye. At this time of year everyone is publishing their top 10, 20 or whatever favorite bloggers, which is great. But what if you don’t appear on these lists? This post by Violet, about loving yourself even if you aren’t on a list hit the spot with me, because I’m on some lists and not others. I can’t help but take these omissions personally even though there is no reason.
Another of Violet’s posts that caught my attention was this one about morning sex . I fully get that this is not her thing. It certainly wasn’t mine until Master and I got together. I’m sure that if I’d had a sex blog 10 years ago, I’d have been saying the same things. But age and circumstance have changed things. That’s the beauty of blogging over a long time, you can see how goals and objectives change. However that’s not to say that afternoon sex isn’t sometimes on our agend, such is Violet’s preferance. Certianly during the summer, that’s something we both love.
I’ve loved everyone’s 2019 reviews and enjoyed E. L Byrne’s Evolution of a polycule 2019 wrap-up Indeed I’ve been reading her weekly reviews on both her sites for sometime. The reviews will now be monthly and i’m looking forward to that. Poly isn’t my thing but I am fascinated by the lifestyle. My own experience was marred by jealousy (hers and mine) and I’ll be happy not to go there again. But I have the utmost respect for folks who can make it work.
Quinn Rhodes also writes regularly about her polyamory. She is a fabulous writer of both fiction and non fiction. This post: Sex goals for 2020: dominance and dating apps struck a cord. Goals are great, but if you don’t feel you’ve achieved half of what you set out then don’t just roll out the same ones. This year’s goals are more about relationships, behaviour and exploring different kinks within a queer, solo poly and romantic way. This can only bode well for Quinn’s writing. I’ve also enjoyed getting to know Quinn a little better through twitter and the Smutlancer Slack group, which has been a great bonus.
I try to participate in the weekly and monthly memes as much as possible. But there just isn’t enough time in the day to do them all. Plus, some prompts strike a cord more than others. I have to admit that Sex bloggers for mental health is one meme that I have written least for. I intend to rectify that this year. It occurs to me that I need to think much more about my mental health going forward.
This post Blogging about mental health and why it’s important by Missy, brought that message home to me. It also made me realise how respectful we need to be of the needs of others. I was overwhelmed to read an earlier linked post about Missy’s own mental health struggles. I’m grateful that my fellow sex bloggers feel so safe (as do to reveal so much of ourselves to each other.
Like a number of our fellow sex bloggers, Cara had a difficult 2019, and has not been writing as regularly as usual. I was so pleased to see that she has joined January Jumpstart and identified in particular with this post on intimacy and the way in which she describes the effect our previous relationships have on the way we desire to seek out intimate relationships. While spanking with a new partner might meet that need, being touched in an intimate way requires trust. I hope Cara regains her blogging mojo and that January Jumpstart helps.
I’ve had a week to reflect on the events of last weekend and it feels like time to write about our Eroticon experience. It’s a while since I wrote a SoSS post, so why not combine the two. A Share our Shit Saturday, Eroticon Special.
For me, the experience of attending this marvellous sex writing and blogging conference gets better each year. The first year was great, but I was nervous and somewhat anxious about speaking to people. Last year I knew a few people, but still struggled to immerse myself into the experience. This year though, I was at maximum socialising. I have also come to terms with the fact that while I will take some new ideas away, I won’t necessarily learn tons of stuff. For me now, this is about getting better at what I do rather than trying to become something I am not. This makes it easier to chose which sessions to attend. For this review I’m going to cover the conference proper and then write about the social aspects.
For once we were up bright, early and on time for the start of the conference. We sat at the front for the opening session, because being in previous years Master had struggled to hear. Fortunately though, Molly was ‘miked up’ for the first session, so there was no need to worry.
Our first session proper was Eleanor Janega’s talk about women and desire in medieval Europe. I am a sucker for anything historical and in the main found the session fascinating. Unfortunately there were problems with her slides – too much text and am problem with being able to see what was written. I later realised this was more of an AV equipment problem than the slides. I was fascinated to learn that sodomy actually refers to any sex that isn’t for the purpose of producing children. This is something I will research a little more myself.
Next up was Zebra Rose’s session on human rights which was extremely thought provoking. It’s a topic Master and I have subsequently discussed at length. The key issue seems to be about how we maintain our own anonymity while preserving that of visitors to the blog. I was reassured to know that public sector workers can’t be sacked for sex blogging. Although I am not currently working, I will in the future.
Emily Jacob’s session on consent in fiction, particularly in relation to rape scenes was equally thought provoking. Rape isn’t something I write about, but consent especially in the context of Master / slave relationships is.
After lunch was Jaime Mortimer’s excellent talk on the history of BDSM. If I’m honest, I enjoyed this more than Eleanors. Mainly because his slides were clear and his passion about the topic shone though. What’s more, I think it was Master’s favourite of the day.
Wrapped and Vacced
After last year’s mattress bed experience, I was keen to try some more of Mactire’s wares. In the room, others were in the process of being wrapped in vet tape and Master felt it would be fun to wrap me. The fact that he started at the bottom rather than the top caused much hilarity. For me it meant I had to be helped to lie down before I fell.
As my Sinful Sunday post shows, I also went into the Vac bed. Take a look if you haven’t seen how stunning I looked.
Despite putting away rather too much wine on Saturday evening (see below), we were feeling remarkably lively on Sunday morning. Thankfully a later start plus much needed coffee (Cafe Nero) helped. I had been very much looking forward to Exposing 40’s session on photography, and it didn’t disappoint. I am so impressed that she manages to take such wonderful photos without the aid of a tripod. Also that most of her shots are taken on her phone. I came away will lots of great tips. She showed us some examples of erotic photographers that have been an influence. Again, there is more to explore here.
Next was the Anxious Writers club. A session led by Cara Theron who was joined for a panel discussion by Girl on the Net and Kayla Lords. It is reassuring that these talented writers experience times of doubt and anxiety, just like the rest of us. Mental ill health can play a part, but equally so can imposter syndrome, or just having too many draft posts that never make it to publish. I don’t suffer from the latter, but Cara ended with a Draft Folder Challenge to those who do.
I heard Miles Jackman speak at Eroticon 2 years ago. While the government still seem hell bent on restricting the freedom of sex writing and photography, they clearly don’t have their act together. Age Verification still seems confusing, but there was good news about some of the topics we write about. BDSM, so long as it involves consenting adults is ok. He advised us to wait and do nothing while age verification is brought in.
The final two sessions involved 3 of my very favourite people. Molly and Michael held a session about looking at your blog with a critical eye. Then Sarah (GOTN) presented one on how to build traffic. Both were extremely good, partly because all 3 were so enthusiastic and know their stuff. But also because I came away with a list of practical things I can do to make my blog better. On balance, Sunday was the best day for me and confirmed in my mind that we’ll be back next year.
The best bit!
Finally this year I was able to enjoy the social side of Eroticon to its full potential. I was overwhelmed at the Friday Meet and Greet when so many people came up to me, to hug and ask how I was. At last I managed to sit down with Marie Rebelle and Bridget Delaney on Saturday night and Kayla Lords on Sunday afternoon. We spent time with Little Switch Bitch and her partner, and had quite a laugh with them. I also met and chatted to Floss and Bakji and was so pleased to have been mentioned in their podcast which I listened to yesterday. It was great to meet the Barefoot Sub, if a little scary that she was so pleased to meet me.
Friday was Eye’s birthday and it felt as if we were all part of a huge birthday party. Saturday was great fun too. While I was chatting to my wonderful people, Master was sharing Shelley quotes with Jaime Mortimer (I kid you not).
The weekend was wonderful but it was full on, busy and tiring. Con drop for me was more that I was absolutely exhausted. Now though I am sad it’s over but also looking forward to next year. Yep, I’ll be back a fourth time and I really need to spend more time chatting to the sponsors. There’s always a reason to return!
The past couple of weeks have been way busier than I had imagined they would be. Partly because my mum who was staying locally for Christmas extended her stay for my son’s wedding. Over the last couple of days though I’ve had the chance to do some reading and to begin some planning for the year ahead.
Recently I was sent a survey by Twitter about my experiences of their wonderful social media platform. I am only being slightly ironic about the word ‘wonderful’ since my twitter experience is generally good. I have met and got to know people through that media and widely promote my blog there. Anyway, they asked what I would like to see them do differently. I told them to acknowledge they shadow ban people and to refrain from doing it. If people do something wrong they deserve to know what it is. I won’t hold my breath though, since you aren’t changing something you don’t admit exits!
Onto my favourite blogs and posts of the last week or so.
It was only after she left a comment on my review of the year post that I realised I had completely missed out my meeting with Indy. The three of us spend a wonderful afternoon and evening together in September exploring Oxford. We managed to take a few great photos in the beautiful restaurant loo, which we cross posted for Sinful Sunday. Indy also visited me after my operation, bringing news of her travels and chocolate. Both were just the boost I needed having been told I needed to stay another night in hospital. You can read the first part of Indy’s own review of the year here. I wish we lived closer to each other as I know we would be great real life friends. But we intend to make the most of technology to keep in touch. News of a joint collaboration will follow (queue suspense).
Fabulous as 40 and beyond
It was great to meet Exposing 40 at Eroticon over the past couple of years. In fact she was the first person to come up and ask if I was MPB! I was happy and proud this week to be included in her 40 over 40 list, along with so many of my favourite bloggers, writers and tweeters. Also a few I don’t know and will need to follow up on. Exposing 40’s photography talents inspire and excite me and I am looking forward to attending her Eroticon session in March.
Pain and childbirth
Last year I also met Livvy at Eroticon, firstly I think when she asked me to sign her copy of the Anthology. We laughed when I almost wrote my real surname. It has been wonderful to follow Livvy’s pregnancy and then the birth of Martha just before Christmas. Her recent post about the pain and trauma of childbirth and how it relates to tolerance pain experienced during impact play.
As always, Livvy’s writing is thought provoking and honest. I can relate to her approach and the juxtaposition between her medial knowledge and the reality of giving birth. I recognise the euphoria she describes in the hours before the actual birth, helped along by the pain control she had taken. Interestingly I am able to find a similar place during play and I guess that is what Livvy might explore at a later date. I think her pain threshold is way higher than she imagines it is.
Inspirational writing and a new challenge
This week’s theme on Wicked Wednesday was Vignettes. I was keen to follow the prompt, but struggled with inspiration. I had a potential theme but worried that I hadn’t left myself enough time to get it done. As it was, my post about our dynamic took some thought and could have been written in that form too. My personal favourite this week was Brigit Delaney’s – The Storm. A beautiful tale so simply told through 11 vignettes. Hers is writing such as I aspire to emulate. I have so much to learn about erotic writing and we are lucky to have writers like Brigit around. She is a great support to other bloggers and writers is now launching her Erotic Journal Challenge which I intend to join.
This year, more than most I can remember has been a time of immense highs and unbelievable lows. It has also been one of great change. For so long I talked about making those changes and there were many times that I thought they would never happen. This blogging year has also been one of highs and lows, a year where my writing has developed and grown but also one when I almost lost my blog. There is so much to write about this year and so many people to thank and mention so here goes.
The year started in a bit of a whirlwind as I supervised the packing and moving for my mum. There was over 30 years worth of stuff in her large 3 bedroom house. The concept of downsizing was completely alien to her and consequently this was a stressful time for me and my brothers. She tended to sit watching it happen, then complain when we threw things out she later said she wanted. On moving day, she took more furniture than it was physically possible to put into her bungalow. So more pain followed.
In the midst of all of that, it was difficult to find time to blog or be particularly sexy. As is often the case the memes (Wicked Wednesday, Sinful Sunday, Kink of the week and SoSS kept me going). This year I have learned that writing about something is better than not writing at all. This month too, I joined the Smut Marathon (more of that later).
This post pretty much highlights that sex and kink was a bit lacking in our lives at the beginning of the year. Not entirely surprising given the whirlwind of January. At that time we were also planning for me to move in with him and had begun to get the house ready. Once again meme’s kept the blog going including TMI Tuesday, Food for Thought Friday and Art Twist. Indie and I have discussed bringing the latter back to life and maybe we will do that in 2019. I only recently realised that Kilted Wookie runs F4TF and it took a while to realise also that we had all week to write a post based on the prompt. Sometimes I am pretty slow on the uptake!
At the end of the month, while away for a weekend I managed to delete my blog! I still shudder when I think about how it happened and the work required to put it back together. Thankfully Dom Signs was there to help, I am so grateful to him. The full horror story is here.
This photo was taken hours before my blog went down and so didn’t appear until 3 March. It brings back the better memories of that weekend. In this post I write some more about the blog, but also for the first time about participating in the smut marathon as well as sex and coffee (all important things).
Our sex and kink life was at last on the up. In this Masturbation Monday post I describe some impulsive kinky sex and later in the month our first public play event. I haven’t contributed to Masturbation Monday as much as I would have liked to this year. Mainly because my sex blogging libido has been a little off kilter. But I did have the pleasure of meeting Kayla Lords and her husband John Brownstone at Eroticon. I followed John’s blog first and clearly remember the run up to Kayla moving to be with him which was so exciting. Together they have become quite a force to be reckoned with in the blogging (and podcasting) community.
Eroticon was a wonderful weekend of fun and laughter, plus some amazing sessions at the conference. Apart from Kayla and John we met so many other bloggers and writers that were previously words and pictures on a screen. Marie and Master T, May More, Posy, Eye, Cousin Pons to name but a few. I wrote about it here.
Once again I joined in with the Blogging A-Z challenge. Although there are 31 posts for April, which is getting on for a record I still had to combine some of the A-Z daily posts. Keeping with a mainly kink theme, the posts can be found here.
For the Wicked Wednesday post on Driving Lessons, I wrote about my rather unpleasant driving instructor. I guess this is my Me too incident; thankfully mild, though as you could tell it has stayed with me.
In April we travelled to Seville for the Feria celebrations and had a wonderful week of rest and recuperation. Seville is one of those places that we have pretty much seen and done but return to. The relaxed lifestyle, long lunches, dinners in several parts suits us.
By May, preparations for my move were in full swing. Our weekends were filled with decluttering, house maintenance and beginning to pack. However we did manage to find time for some fun and games. It had been a while since Master bought his girl a tail, but I hadn’t really had the chance to wear it. Until now.
The Smut Marathon moved onto round 5 and to my surprise I was still in the competition. As I mention in my post about round 4, my editing skills were coming under pressure. I tended to write pieces that were much longer than needed, sometimes 4 times as long. Since being out of the competition I have started to try to write stories that are already short and so need less editing. The Smut Marathon was a wonderful competition and I am grateful to Rebel for all her hard work in making it the success it was and will be again.
Hy from A Dissolute Life Means challenged herself and others to Post Every Damn Day in June. I got off to a good start even though at the time I was on holiday in Slovenia. Much of the country is under developed, with beautiful lakes, hills and mountains to explore. A great opportunity for some natural photo opportunities. While away I participated for the first time in Hyacinth’s regular meme: Boobday. I look at my contribution with some sadness as this is the boob I no longer have. The cancer was already growing inside me, though I didn’t know it. I do hope to participate again soon, but more of that in the post I am going to write about the coming year.
There was one final trip away (for a weekend) before the end of June, providing a great Sinful Sunday opportunity. After that, life was crazy as we prepared for my move.
The weather was wonderfully hot. A proper English heatwave. Probably not what you need when you are spending much of your life packing boxes. On one of the last weekends spent before the move, we frolicked in the garden. Not only did I run around naked but we also had anal sex out there. My anxiety about the neighbours seeing anything dissipated under the influence of a bottle or two of wine.
The rest of July is a mad blur. I didn’t post anything of substance until 26th. After the antics in the garden I developed a urinary infection (perhaps the two are linked) and needed antibiotics. Then as soon as I was recovered I moved house. I wrote about it all here. To be honest, I was pretty glad to see the back of July.
August was about finishing up at work. Luckily, with many people away on holiday the roads and railways were quiet, though London was as usual busy. There were few meetings so I was able to declutter my work environment in a reasonably calm way. I had a wonderful send off from colleagues and left on 31st. I also started to reorganise my blog a little, ending one journey page and starting another.
As we gradually settled into our life together we began to rekindle our kinky sides and also had some fun.
All through August I was waiting for the inevitable. I revealed at my mammogram early in the month that I had found a lump in my breast and knew I would be recalled. The first date I was given was for 31st August, but as this was my final day at work I asked for a later appointment. So on 11th September Master and I spent the entire afternoon at a one stop breast clinic. We came away already knowing that cancer was suspected, but had to wait a week for confirmation. The following day I travelled to Cyprus with my mum with a massive plaster on my boob. Over the coming days a huge bruise formed.
Cyprus was beautiful though. Hot sunny days and warm evenings. Even my mum and my attempts to hide my bruising didn’t spoil it. But I really did miss Master and wrote about my longing for him here.
On my return I received the news that we had been both expecting and dreading. I had breast cancer.
I think we saw the inside of more hospital wards and departments than I experienced in the first 3 months of my nursing career. Master was beside me the whole way and has been my rock and guiding light ever since the first appointment. Our hopes of a lumpectomy were dashed as the tumour was too large. So on 15th I had a mastectomy.
Many blog and twitter friends and followers have congratulated me on my positivity in coping with the surgery and aftermath. While I wanted to catalogue my journey and will continue to do so, I didn’t seek to make it seem easy. The operation was straightforward, but the recovery painful and frustration. I wasn’t the best patient, I don’t think nurses usually are. But I was determined not to succumb to self pity and so I guess that is why it came across that way. I started a series of regular posts about my recovery which will continue for as long as necessary.
I felt ready on 11th November to give Sinful Sunday followers a glimpse of my new body. I always knew that I was part of a body positive group of people but have been overwhelmed by the support. None more so than from Molly and that is why I chose Sinful Sunday for this post. Being able to go to the munch that Molly and Signs run and speak openly to others including Sub Bee has really helped. I am looking forward to getting together with Molly in the new year so she can photograph me lots more.
Thank you to everyone who has commented on here, sent me emails and messages on twitter. I know too that Master has found the support from this community to be a really positive thing.
A month of end of year lists and reviews, and I find myself on so many. After everything that has happened this year, I am overwhelmed. Looking back over my blog, I can see that it has been a good year for my writing.
Thank you to those who nominated me for the Kinkly and Chaturbate top sex blog lists. Thank you to May More for the wonderful messages of support and for including me on her Top of the Blogs list. To Floss, who named me as one of her top 20 Lovelies. To Kilted Wookie for putting me on the Naughty List, to Master Venture for including me on his list of people worth following and to Marie Rebelle for including me on her Top 20 of ’18. I am incredibly honoured to have been recognised by so many of the wonderful people I admire in this community.
Thank you to everyone who has read my blog this year and to those who have commented and supported me. Here’s to 2019 – more of that to come.
It is a very long time since I wrote a #SoSS. It isn’t that I don’t read and comment on other blogs, I do. But I am not so good at getting my shit together to work out which ones I want to share. Let alone writing about it. But in an attempt to start my new years resolutions early I’m planning to write one each month.
It was reading this post of May’s about shadow banning that prompted me. When I was shadow banned, it irritated the hell out of me. Lately though since I have other things to worry about it had all slipped my mind. I’m picking up new followers so I don’t think I am on the banned list right now. I shall make a point of sharing more posts on Twitter though so that they get seen.
This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt was writing, it was great to read about everyone’s writing and blogging history. I particularly loved Modesty’s post (and accompanying photo), and hadn’t realised she had published her Modest Diaries. They certainly seem worth a read. Also worth checking out is Floss’s post. Not only is she a wonderful writer of fiction and non fiction, she is also a poet. I am in awe of the talent that is out there amongst our blogging community.
On the theme of writing, the Smut Marathon reaches the final voting round tomorrow. I haven’t written any fiction since the round where I got knocked out. The monthly assignments certainly made me get on with writing and I know my style and content improved over time. Marie will be running the competition again next year (as she tells us in her #SoSS today) and entries open quite soon. I am undecided as yet whether to enter. But I will give it serious consideration.
when I write these blog sharing posts, I try to include something new. I didn’t so much find The happy Kinky Couple, as they found me to ask to swap links, which I am happy to do. They are a couple, like us in their 50’s who found kink relatively recently and have just begun to write about it. Their blog can be found here – go have a read.
Finally I would like to thank everyone for the support you have given me over the past couple of months. Discovering I have breast cancer is the definitely the worst thing that has happened to me and to us. The love and support from fellow bloggers and twitter folk has been a great help. I plan to continue to write my weekly diary. It is important for me to be able to describe the physical and emotional effects. But also, as many people have said it may help others in the future. This is the link to the posts (if I can’t self promote on my own blog, then where can I)? I don’t know if people are ready to see my new body, but I am almost ready to share. But that will be on another day.
Today’s post for ‘Every damn day in June’ is also a SoSS: What’s to see on the kinky web?
Work was so busy before I came away on holiday, that I had limited time to read and also write. I’ve struggled to look at all of the Sinful Sunday’s for last week and haven’t read most of the Wicked Wednesday posts. But I have read anything that has popped into my email inbox or twitter time line. So I am not entirely behind.
I have never participated in Hyacinth’sBoob day and must get round to it some time. I usually take a peek though and was drawn to Modesty’s offering. She manages to get into some great places for both Boob day and Sinful Sunday and this is no exception.
As most people know, Marie is one of the most active bloggers in our little community. Not only does she run Wicked Wednesday and the Smut Marathon but she also contributes to Masturbation Monday and Wicked Wednesday. This week she has posted a round up of all of the 12 word stories she has posted in May. For those that don’t know about Story in 12, it is a Twitter based meme inviting readers to write a story in 12 words using a different prompt each day. Started by Molly and Wriggly Kitty it has taken off really quickly and is great fun.
I met Posy Churchgate at Eroticon and we managed to have a chat, though not for as long as I would have liked as she was only there for the one day. Her post about being BDSM curious has resulted in much discussion. I came from a similar point to her, being curious and not knowing how to get my partner interested. For me though, there was no possibility of venturing into D/s or other aspects of BDSM with him. Instead I went out on my own and finally met the man I call Master. I admire the thoughtful way she is approaching this journey and the clarity she has about the importance of her long term relationship.
Finally for this post, May More has migrated her diaries from 1997. This will give us an insight to May before May Matters. I really do envy May this archive and also a life that was way more interesting than mine. I have read the first couple of posts but will be returning for much more. May was at Eroticon too, and we managed a longer chat. Trouble was it was in the pub at the social and wine was involved. Fingers crossed I get to meet up with both May and Posy again in the future.
Today is Saturday and today’s letter is S, so it must be Share our Shit Saturday (SoSS). Most mornings this week we have had a slow, leisurely start to the day. This has given me time to blog and read blogs, engage with Twitter and even Facebook.
Favorite blog post of the week
Molly Moore wrote about her life as a voyeur and how she discovered just how much watching others turns her on. She related this to her experience with a former lover and then to the polyamorous relationship that she is now part of with her husband Michael and Cara who more recently came into their life. I was privileged to meet Cara when she was in the UK recently and can understand why Michael fell for her. That Molly has been able to welcome Cara into her life and Cara has made Michael so happy is wonderful. But more than that, Molly explains how excited she is to share Michael with Cara.
I am actually quite in awe of their situation. When my relationship with Master started, I was the third person. His then slave was planning to join him here, but was still living in the US. She was almost immediately jealous of me and tried hard to undermine me. The result was that their relationship ended. So I didn’t get the chance to know whether I would have been turned on while they had sex. We have spoken about introducing another woman for play purposes, but it hasn’t happened. It is something I am curious about, but don’t know if I would be as accepting as Molly. The idea of kissing Master while someone else sucks his cock is quite a turn on though.
Scarlett Ladies – Blog post by The Other Livvy
I wasn’t aware of Scarlett Ladies until I read this post by Livvy. It is a sex positive network of women in London that includes events and meetings to attend as well as newsletters etc. They have a wonderful website, that I need to take a closer look at. Livvy’s blog post is an update on one she wrote soon after her marriage last year. Its about her decision to take her husband’s surname and whether this makes her less of a feminist.
When I got married in 1984 I never considered whether changing my name was a good or bad thing to do, I just did it. Only later, I found that a number of my nursing colleagues used both their maiden and married names. One for work and the other for home and family. This approach seems practical and sensible when it’s desirable to keep the two separate.
I have never thought of this as a feminist issue though, but rather as what is practical. Certainly friends who either weren’t married or else kept their maiden names encountered difficulties when their children went to school. The schools (at the time) struggled with knowing what to call a mother with a different name from their child. The children themselves of course, asked questions, so all having the same name is easy. Plus having a child with a different name at airport security can take a little extra time.
But none of this is important. What matters is doing what is right for you and for the right reasons. Livvy seems to have thought through her options and decided what she wants. This doesn’t make her less of a feminist, but demonstrates she is a woman who knows herself, her needs. She is also considering her husband and future family and that deserves respect.
Life has been crazy busy round here. Consequently I haven’t had much time for the #SoSS meme. This is a round up and shout out to other sex bloggers and came about because of the trend towards censorship and twitter shadow banning. But since I need to write anyway, for the letter M, I have decided to make this a post for both A-Z Challenge and #SoSS.
M is for Mention – Marie Rebelle mentioned me today on her round up and I took the word mention from her A-Z.
Some more mentions as follows:
Fellow bloggers have also been doing the April Blogging challenge. I especially like JZ’s. Hers are all about cooking, I urge you to take a look. Her stories are great and there is huge debate on many topics. This one is about the new fangled Instant Pots, which to me are just snazzy pressure cookers. Like JZ I have enough gadgets and prefer slow to fast cooking. I know this isn’t sex, per say but food is very important!
Submissy’s posts are about her life as a submissive, and have enabled her to review some of her previous posts. I intended to do this, but have been too unorganised. That in itself makes her worthy of a visit, but her posts are well worth the read. This one on Head, humiliation and happy ever afters talks about how the ability to switch off from day to day life can be helped through submission.
Charley at Sex blog of sorts expanded on her very good smut marathon entry. Katy the girl who has everything and is fantastic at all she does. Who hasn’t known someone a bit like that. There is a flaw though and reading it from a mum’s point of view and as a nurse would consider post natal depression. Or maybe she really does love her husband more than her child.
I was really disappointed at my smut marathon third round result. I received some great feedback but didn’t score at all. Critics were correct, it was difficult to know which of my characters had the flaw. My mistake was that both did. Still on to the next round.
Hannah Lockhardt is the latest twitter account to be shadow banned. I love her post telling us about the post eroticon adventures she has planned. Plenty future blog material there.
Finally Eye, wrote an amazing piece this week about being owned. I so identify with her about her journey to recognising herself as submissive and it’s effect on her. I love that she is able to express her wants and needs through this post.
Many of my posts come from the many memes that our fellow bloggers organise on our behalf. It is difficult to keep up with them all. I find when I am writing lots, I have little time for reading and vice versa. This week I have written less than of recent, though what I have had to say has been reasonably profound.
I am really pleased to have contributed to the newly re-started Food For Thought Friday, on the topic of oral sex. As I have often stated, there were very few blow jobs and cunnilingus in my life before I strayed from my marriage. I was particularly struck by Indigo’s experiences. Firstly inexperience and fear and then later by the menopausal effects of the way our bodily fluids change in smell and taste.
Also through FFTF I found Eugene Noale’s blog. I loved his post Cinnomon and Cumin, but also I am really pleased to have discovered him. I love the photos of him and his open, honest and deep words. His post about his marriage, struck a note with me, given the one I am now free of.
That brings me to something I feel I need to say about the whole #SoSS thing. I know it was set up as a way of making sure people see the great words that are written each week. Plus the beautiful pictures that are posted. Words and images that mainstream social media would like us to keep to ourselves. May Moore spoke on Twitter about being Shadow banned again. This means that only those who follow May (and others who are shadow banned) can see her twitter posts. Without others sharing that information then, her lovely photos for February Photofest won’t be seen other than by those who already know her. Kayla discussed the matter of shadow banning and other social media censorship on her Smutlancer blog this week. Essentially she says that we have very little influence over the social media companies and should just do our own thing. I think she is right, but then I haven’t been shadow banned (yet).
I have been troubled that most people’s #SoSS only refer to blogs that their followers tend to know about and follow themselves. It would be really nice if we didn’t just promote people who are shadow banned, but also anything new we have discovered this week. I discussed this with Bacchus from ErosBlog on twitter and as he quite rightly pointed out SoSS wasn’t specifically meant to raise awareness of new blogs. But he did agree that I had a point (and I am always happy for people to agree with me).
So apart from Eugene Noale’s blog, which I only found this week I would also like to promote Dayliacatt on Fetcetera. This is a blog written by a slave who is every bit as feisty as I am ( perhaps more so), who like me is relatively new to the M/s lifestyle and who with her husband and Master is enjoying a new lease of life. She writes about her life and is also a very talented artist. Do go and take a look.
This is the first Saturday in ages that I have had the chance to sit down and write a Share our Shit Saturday (#SOSS) post. Partly because over the past few, very busy weeks, there has been little time for reading. Finally this week, I have had the chance to catch up.
My picks of the week
For the first time in ages, I have read all of the Wicked Wednesdayposts this week. The prompt 21 really got the creative juices going, in terms of real life and fiction. One the most powerful was from Hey Mrs Robinson. This is a new blog find for me and I am now catching up on some of her previous posts. In the Wicked Wednesday post Mrs Robinson describes the long road taken before she and her husband finally got together. A painful journey of death, abuse and assault.
Another interesting post was from Sub Bee who gave her thoughts on her sexual experience of race. Our upbringing in terms of location and parental influences have far reaching consequences on our view of the world. Bee discusses the race aspect of the images we see on the net as well as being propositioned by those claiming to have a BBC (big black cock). Something I too have encountered and not been even slightly tempted to follow up. The post has me thinking too about the number of young, slim women we see profiled. Versus those of my age, I think that is a post waiting for me to write.
Bee’s post inspired by a couple by Cara Thereon which are worth a read. I however want to point to another, about the level of outrage being expressed at the moment. About people getting out of their trees about stuff that annoys them. In the process they go on the attack. Shutting down views and conversation and not reading or listening to the views of others. We women, quite rightly have plenty to say right now. But not at the expense of being mean to each other.
I have been lucky not to experience sexual abuse from a partner or boyfriend. This was helped along by meeting my husband when I was a child. We started going out when I was only 15 and married at 21. I have only had 3 serious relationships in my life. Hy recounts an early experience of abuse from a boyfriend when she was 16 and he 19. This reminds me just how lucky I have been in my life and how future relationships are affected by past experience.