“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”
Instead I want to show you another (in what might be a series) of photos where I proudly show you my body. I am preparing for my reconstructive surgery and as I do so feel better about sharing what my mastectomy looks like.
This is the third (and final) photo from our recent trip to Oxford. I think you can see here that I am much more at home in my body. More positive and confident. This has been a journey I don’t recommend, but one which I am happy to share.
Hotel rooms offer up infinite opportunities for Sinful Sunday photos and we are lucky we travel often. This was taken in the same room as last week’s image, but as you can see the view is very different. Some of you may even recognise the location.
When Phyllis punts, she wields the pole
With tiny hands in dainty style,
Inconsequently chatting while
We slowly move towards our goal.
When Phyllis punts, I long to lie
And idly watch her laughing face,
For seldom does such lisson grace
As hers delight a lover’s eye.
BUT what with thrusting skiffs aside,
Entreating pardons by the score,
And pushing off from either shore –
I’m far too fully occupied – when Phyllis punts!
I think he is dreaming of Phyllis’ punting! This was the back drop to our bed this week in Oxford. It seemed a shame not to take a fun picture!
I got my first camera for Christmas when I was about 11. I loved going around taking everyone’s picture. It was just a shame that when I got my first film back from the printers the photos weren’t as good as I’d remembered.
Cameras with film
That was the whole problem, but also the exciting thing about cameras with film. You had to take 12, 24 or 36 photos before you knew how they turned out. So often you took 2 or 3 at a time to ‘make sure’. The film also had to be sent away, either by post or from a chemist shop. This made the thrill of getting that envelope of pictures all the more exciting (or disappointing).
During most of my teenage and early adult life I used my camera for photos of people. Generally family and friends – Christmas, birthdays, holidays. Months would go by between and so when they were developed the results could span the year. Once my son arrived however, I didn’t hold back.
I photographed his every move, smile, milestone. In that pre-social media world sharing baby photos had to be done physically. My nan used to steal so many of my photos of her great grand children that I resorted to getting two sets of prints developed.
I bought my first digital camera while on holiday in the Canary Islands as they were cheaper there. Oh the joy of being able to see the results on a little screen. By then I wasn’t only taking photos of my family, but also views of the places we visited. Plus animals, insects and flowers.
The great thing about the digital camera was that you could remove the memory card, pop into Boots (or another high street outlet) and get the photos developed. To begin with I think it still took a few days, but eventually you could have them in an hour! What an absolute treat.
Too many prints
When I moved last year I landed up with all of our family photos from the past 30 years. My ex didn’t want any of them, mind you he subsequently ended up owning all of his parent’s photos. Though I believe he has thrown away many of them. I am more sentimental than that and can’t bear to do the same. But I know I need to go through the boxes sometime soon and sort and cull some.
Other than photos from my son’s wedding I haven’t had anything printed up for years. I have a photo on the fireplace and I gave my mum another two. The others I chose and paid for are stored in my computer files. My son and daughter in law presented me with a book of their photos for my birthday and so I have that too. Printing photos isn’t something people do very often any more.
A change of scenery
Before I met Master there were a few photos of me naked or semi naked. Most taken by me with my camera or latterly phone. Now there are many. He loves to photograph me while we play. But also he likes me to pose for him naked, semi clothed or dressed in something fetishy. I have also taken to photographing him and he seems to like it too. He is something of an exhibitionist.
I think that having those photos taken has helped me accept my own body as beautiful as well as to change my view of the human body. I much prefer people with interesting bodies, like mine. By that I mean not models but those who are ordinary people willing to show that our non perfect bodies are not only normal but beautiful.
If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be showing photos of me naked on a blog online I would have laughed in your face. But of course that is what I do most weeks thanks to memes like Sinful Sunday and February Photofest. What’s more, I love it.
I love a bubble bath, but I love bubbles created in a jacuzzi even more. This photo was taken earlier in the year when we were in Holland. I didn’t share it at the time because I wasn’t sure I was ready to show this much of me. But increasingly I am feeling proud of my body as it is. So, bubbles, boob and all, this is my Sinful Sunday for this week.
My blog and memes like Sinful Sunday have definitely made me into more of an exhibitionist. But there is someone else who likes to show himself off and who lets me photograph him. This photo was taken on our boat holiday and shows Master letting it all hang loose. So, I’ve called this photo dangling.