Street view

I am standing at the tall open window naked. It is night time. In front of me is a wooden railing.

A pleasant side effect of the need to rent properties this holiday has been the photo opportunities they have presented. Our current one is an old village house with a room on each floor. The walls are thick and there are only windows to the front. So, it is cool, even on the hottest of days. I suspect you could keep it warm easily in winter too. On the first floor is a lovely living room, simply furnished. It has a desk where I have been able to blog, and also worked on morning last week. The best feature though is the large window giving us a view of the street and the blue sky above the tall buildings.

It’s a quiet place, though people bustle along during the day on their way to market, the shops or perhaps to the lake which is in the opposite direction. It’s narrow so a passing car is a rare event.

This photo was taken a few nights ago, and although I’m pretty sure no one was around to see (other than the photographer), this would have made some street view.

We leave this lovely place today as damage to the apartment has been fixed and it’s habitable again. But I’ll always remember the beautiful house with the steep stairs and lovely balcony. Plus, rest assured there are more photos to share yet.

This post is linked to both Sinful Sunday and the Scavenger Hunt. To see who else is joining in click on the images below.

Ready

I hadn’t intended to disappear from the radar this past week. But events over took me and I’ve had to go with the flow. The great news is, we are in the warm and sunny south of France. The other good news is we are enjoying some great food and drink as well as the sun and sea. On the downside we have have been forced to rent a couple of local properties (due to availability) because our own place is currently uninhabitable (hot water issues). But that in itself has brought new joy. Because we have had the chance to experience some period houses, places with thick stone walls and spiral staircases.

So, once the initial stress has passed. Once I came to terms with the need to spend serious money on sorting out the water heater. Plus, once we had access to wifi (another issue to be sorted). I was ready for some fun and attention. Ready for Master to take me and to crave my body.

Master took this photo of me and modified it to make it black and white so it fits with this month’s Sinful Sunday prompt. But I couldn’t decide between the more natural and the over exposed one. So I’m posting them both.

Hopefully I’m also ready to write and post many more words this coming week, in between doing all the DIY we expected to do and making our apartment habitable again.

My name is MPB and I am an exhibitionist

I’ve always been something of an exhibitionist, but until relatively recently it didn’t involve me having my photo taken, kickers down in a field.

Thank goodness! It was more that I wanted to be the centre of attention. A real, look at me Leo type. It’s almost as if I can’t help myself. I would tell myself not to draw attention to myself, not to be the one to ask questions or give an opinion. But I digress.

My exhibitionist self emerged during 2012. It only took a matter of weeks between meeting S and strutting around half naked for the world to see. Thankfully it wasn’t actually watching. Though, of course, part of me wished it was.

It’s really only through this blog (and two dominant partners) that I have recognised this about myself. Both encouraged me to embrace showing my body to them and to others that may be passing. Indeed it is the thought of those who could be around that gets me off.

There have been far too few opportunities this year for Master to take images like this. But a couple of weekends ago the weather and location lent themselves to a photo opportunity. As far as I know, no one saw my bum other than Master, but if they did I do hope it made their day!

This post is linked to Sinful Sunday, Scavenger Hunt, Kink of the Week and The Blog Days of Summer. Click below to see who else is participating in these memes.

Birthday treats

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, this year’s birthday provided some unexpected treats. One of the main one’s being tied to our hotel bed and used for Master’s pleasure. Read about the day and weekend here.

A little pink

A wooden spoon can be used for lots of things. Making cakes, fixing stuck plugs holes and providing a pink bottom. I don’t mark easily, so Master was quick to take a photo of his handy work. I trimmed the image a little and hope it fits in with the August Sinful Sunday prompt.

Click on the lips to see who else has joined in this week. I am going to try to post more this month, a lot more. So I’m joining in with Violet’s Blog Days of Summer. Click below to find out more.

Back

Yes, this is a picture of my back, and bottom etc. I’m not sure when it was taken but I quite like the shape of my body in the image.

I’ve been reflecting this week on my blogging future and have found that just by writing about what is troubling me, I feel more positive. It’s weird, because that’s the advice I’d give to anyone when faced with an issue. Talk (or in this case write) about it.

I didn’t actually go anywhere and have no intention of doing so. But I do feel like the real me is back. I have some plans for the blog and that will involve a redesign and change of emphasis. It will also probably mean I’ll write less new stuff for a while. Because it is actually impossible to write, read, make changes and think all at the same time. I know because I’ve tried and it made me particularly unproductive!

I have no intention of changing one thing though: I plan to keep sharing my photos and participating in memes like Sinful Sunday. Click the lips to see who else is linked up this week.

Fear and Trust

This week is Sinful Sunday prompt weak, but I just don’t have anything movie related to share. So, I’ve decided to show an unseen photo and combine it with this week’s Quote Quest prompt.

Standing naked infront of a mirror. The image is black and white and was taken at a dungeon.

“Right on the edge of fear was where trust could grow.”

― Cherise Sinclair

There’s no doubt I’ve come a long way since I started this blog. There is no way I would have posted naked photos of myself online 8 years ago. Nor would I have posted my face on this blog. But somewhere along the line I began to trust myself and my audience with images like this. The fear that I would be found and outed receded and my confidence in my own body grew.

It helped of course to be with a man who loves to photograph me at my most vulnerable. He started to show images of me on his Tumblr blog (usually without my face back then) and would put them amongst other photos of what turned him on. This was a big thing for me. Because many of those other women were slimmer or younger than me. But here Master was, telling me and the world that I was as (if not more) appealing to him as them.

Since my mastectomy my confidence has taken a knock. It might seem that I am happy with my naked body, but I do prefer my old one. However I believe it is right to show myself as I am now. To promote body positivity for people like me who are now disfigured. To show that there is life after a diagnosis of breast cancer. But mostly to show that it is still possible to be a sexual human being loved and desired.

In this photo though, I am hiding myself a little. The position of my hands and phone mean that you have to look carefully to see I only have one boob. I wonder why I took the photo in this way. I was feeling happy and proud that morning, the photo is one of several I took in March in the Hoxton Dungeon. So, there’s no reason to hide. It does give a hint though as to the way I live my life now. I could go out without a bra on, but it feels weird and I am fearful people would notice.

I want nice lingerie but it’s difficult to find, I want bras from the Knicker Fairy. But I am not sure they are suitable, so I am going to try one or more which have pockets for people to add more padding. You see, even if you can see that what’s inside the bra is false it might still make me feel good. I want to show myself with pride and to feel good in the process. Watch this space for the end results.

Encouraging growth

This photo was taken a few weeks ago when my tomato plants were tiny. They are probably 5 times the size now and just about to flower. I know a lot of us are struggling with inspiration and purpose right now.

12 or more weeks into lock down we wonder what the point is. How can our little part of the universe matter when disease, prejudice and hate prevails. The world as we knew it has changed. The status quo is gone.

But maybe out of this mess and chaos we can rebuild. Like the tomato plants we can grow a new, a fresh.

The sex blogging community has changed beyond recognition. We have been angry and we have mourned. But I think now is time to move into a new period. One of growth.

I think this is what I need to concentrate on now. Helping us (and of course me) to remove and to grow. Join me to encourage growth in those around us. Start by clicking on the lips below and going to at least one other blogger’s Sinful Sunday post. Show them you care, promote their work and lets rise up again.