From behind

There is something primal and almost forbidden about sex doggy style. For a start my arse is on display for him to see and secondly, I have little control over events. For me, this feels extremely submissive, especially if it means I am on my knees. I know he likes to take me from behind because he can use his hands. He strokes my breasts, pinches and teases my nipples and can also access my clit for more stimulation.

His cock pushes deeper into me, or so it feels. I can push back against him and feel his hands embracing my tits, while feeling his cock pushing hard into me. Of all the positions we have sex in, this feels more like sex in it’s rawest form.

This picture was taken a couple of years ago, and may have appeared on my blog before. Not, I don’t think for Sinful Sunday though.

Sinful Sunday

Squirting

Squirting

The events of the weekend seem to have reignited my desire to blog, reminding me that I still have stuff to say. Sunday showed me that, whatever else happened we still have the M/s dynamic. I am his slave and want him to be proud of me. So, for the first time in ages, I am writing my third blog post in a week.

This week’s Kink of the week is about squirting, or female ejaculation. This is my topic for today.

Until about 4 or 5 years ago, I don’t believe I even knew it was possible to squirt. After all, at that time, I was still an orgasm novice. Unless that is I was making myself cum. Generally most of my experience had been through clitoral stimulation, my preference at the time. My reading around this subject tells me that female ejaculation tends to happen through G spot stimulation.

S explored all of my body,  attending to my needs as no one had before. He was keen on providing multiple orgasms in a variety of ways. Looking back sex with him followed a specific pattern, often starting with me sucking him and ending up with penetration of some kind. But along the way there were orgasms for me. I think (and my memory grows vaguer as time progresses) I may have once squirted for him. Well, lets say there was a feeling I may have peed myself, though I know I hadn’t. He told me I had squirted and I believed him.

With Master there is no doubt I have come close. Many many times, I have had the feeling I am about to release fluid, to squirt. But for some reason it doesn’t happen. I am often very wet, when he is forcing orgasms from me. Often many orgasms over a short period of time. When he overstimulates my body, while I am restrained and blindfolded. When he is fucking me. When his fingers find my g-spot and make me feel I might explode. But the fact this hasn’t happened over the past 3.5 years makes me wonder if I ever did squirt. If the idea was put into my mind by someone who wanted it to be true, but that it is a false memory.

Anyway does it matter? Isn’t being aroused to orgasm multiple times enough? Do I want or need to squirt for him? Probably not. Though I know that it is something he really would like to happen. Since it is not a conscious act it is not something I can make happen and I think for both of us there are more important things in our lives. Things like a loving relationship, a good sex life, our power exchange dynamic and the fact that he turns me on like crazy. I think that’s enough.

Kink of the week: Jeans

This morning this photo popped up on my Facebook timeline. A photo taken by Master, a year ago as I walked up the steps to board a plane. He posted it later and tagged me with the caption ‘Rear of the day’. I was amused and just a little flattered because a public acknowledgment that he finds me attractive appeals. Some may find this sexist, but coming from him it is something I like. I like the way I look in a pair of well fitting jeans, and love the way it shows off the contours of my bottom. At the same time, I like the way that they hold my wobbly bits in place. They give the impression I have a firmer, perhaps more youthful body than I have. 

Do I feel sexy in them though? Well yes in a way because if I feel good and think I look good to others. But do I feel  more sexy in jeans than in any other well fitting trousers or perhaps a short skirt? Then no. This is partly because I don’t think Master looks at it that way. He likes the look and feel of my bottom when it is on display in that way, but also likes to see my legs, or my cleavage or my bare back. He loves leather, and I have a feeling that he would find leather trousers more appealing than jeans. However, I am not convinced that they would be very forgiving to my figure.

Having said that, he likes me naked too. With everything hanging out. But naked is not a good look walking up the stairs to get on a plane and I don’t think anyone needs to see me naked on Facebook. Though plenty have seen me naked here.

2 Responses to Kink of the week: Jeans

  1. Molly says:

    I can totally see why your bottom inspired him to take this picture. What a perfectly shapely vision it is.

    Mollyx

  2. Bee says:

    I don’t find his actions sexist at all, just the actions of someone who finds you attractive. I’ve been known to do something similar with my partner.

    Like you it makes me feel attractive and wanted when he makes those compliments.

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Chastity – does a girl need to be locked in?

There was a time when I felt the need to touch myself most days. I would arrive home from work and if I felt that I had sufficient time before my son and husband arrived on the scene would make myself cum. sometimes I stood in my son’s bedroom looking out of the window while I held my vibe against my throbbing pussy and craved my release.

These days there is no need to do such a thing. Hubby has gone to his new woman and my son is busy with his own life. What is more there is no need to cum in that kind of way.

My orgasms belong to Master and while he doesn’t stipulate that I can’t cum without him being present, in the main there is no need.

In essence I have no need to be kept in chastity through a device since I don’t desire that I touch myself and orgasm on my own. I know that the orgasms belong to Him and prefer He is present when they occur.

Having said that, the photos I found online demonstrating female chastity devices do really turn me on.

These are the two kinds of devices that might be available (or inflicted) on women today. The first kind, shown above is something that fits around a woman’s waist and under her crotch. It might include a small dildo that is inserted into her vagina to keep her permanently aroused but unable to orgasm. Separated from her Master she would be unable to touch herself and so be unfulfilled. Sadly without a special mechanism for releasing her urine and being able to clean herself there are signifiant problems with this devise.

While I love the idea of chastity, I prefer the idea of the kind barrier shown below. I have no real need to be able to touch myself. I have piercings in my clitoral hood and we have discussed the idea of labial piercings that would prevent access to my sexual organs, other than by Him.

So, this girl can be pierced in such a way that she is unable to gain access to her clitoris, and yet she is able to both pass urine and to keep clean. Plus she can be controlled in the way that Master would love.

The girl could be made completely chaste and under the control of her Master through being pierced through the labia.

For me it isn’t about an inability to reach certain parts of the body it is about whether you are allowed to touch them.

It isn’t about an artificial way of remembering who and what you are, but something that is long lasting and permanent.

While the chastity device seems appealing it is obviously for play only. For me, it is about a permanent reminder of what Master expects and if that is chastity then while I can manage without, I would prefer my labia being pierced in such a way as it offers a permanent reminder of my slavery to Him.

I might imagine that I want to be held chaste by one of devices above, but all they are is symbols of my slavery to Master. His words and deeds are all that I need.

 

KOTW – Tasks

I need to get back to blogging ways, indeed if I was tasked to do so then maybe I would be better at getting my brain into gear. Even better if Master were to give me a list of topics he would like me to write about.

But seriously, this month’s kink of the week is about Tasks. I have a set of rules that I agreed to when I became Master’s slave, and one or two of them are kind of task orientated. Probably the main one would be that I should wear my butt plug twice a week when we are apart. I am rubbish at keeping to this rule, mainly because I forget. We often chat on Skype late in the evening and after I come off of the call I get ready for bed and am asleep before I know it.

The other rule that has slightly fallen by the wayside is the issue of underwear. I often don’t wear panties but usually these days like to wear a bra. For all I am 54, my tits are still quite firm, but still I do prefer it. Generally he doesn’t push the issue.

Sometimes he will give me tasks to do, but these are on an ad hoc basis, as the mood takes him (as is his prerogative). I am not someone who really needs a massive amount of structure and to be frank I am a calmer, happier human being since I have been with him.

He is someone who likes his slave to be low maintenance and so, while he likes to give me the odd thing to do, he is not really into making sure I do it. We have discussed recently that our dynamic has fallen into something of a routine and that we don’t always make the effort to think about things such as this.

Perhaps this prompt may lead to further discussions on the topic since he reads what I write here and we often follow that up with a discussion.

Tasks are a good thing, but they take effort on both sides. I am willing to give it another go if he is!

Kink of the week – Glasses

It would be true to say that I have, for a very long time loved guys in glasses. More than that, I am turned on by a man who wears glasses. I am also fascinated by the slightly more obscure reasons a person needs glasses to function.

I have a slight real obsession with the whole eye sight / glasses thing. Almost my first venture into online chat was a glasses kink site. This is a real admission since I have never told Master about this and he will be reading and thinking “what the fuck?’

So for a back story. In primary school we had our eyes tested. Someone had decided I had a problem and needed testing for colour blindness. This was something I was unlikely to have given that it is uncommon in girls. I had at that time developed something of a ‘tick’ which involved me feeling the need to twitch. The test was negative.

Fast forward about a year, I had started a new school and was learning the clarinet. I wasn’t very good, but giving me the benefit of the doubt the teacher suggested that my problems were grounded in my inability to be able to see the music. She had a point. It turned out I had a squint, discovered too late for eye patches, exercises or whatever but sadly my musical talent wasn’t down to my eye sight.

Even though I was intrigued by my glasses, I didn’t want to wear them, instead I carried on in a world where I greeted people I didn’t know and ignored people I did. It wasn’t until I wanted to learn to drive that I actually wore the glasses that my parents bought for me. Then, having passed my test I abandoned them. All the time, due to the squint viewing the world in some kind of 2D, fuzzy haze. It wasn’t that I couldn’t see, but more that I only saw things with one eye. At some point I ‘saw’ the light and got glasses full time and then contacts.

An optician told me that normal people saw in 3d, and with my glasses on showed me what that looked like. I was in my late 20’s. My reaction was contact lenses.

I think I became obsessed with vision and what different people saw from that point. I joined an early forum and chat room at that point and found people who had similar interests. The people there greeting you not with ASL (age, sex, location) but with ASPx (age, sex, prescription).

I also found people who in hindsight are stranger than anyone I have met on a BDSM site. People who wear contact lenses to make them appear near or far sighted and then wear glasses to correct this. But many more who have a real fetish for people who genuinely need glasses and wear them. I suspect however that many of the people who told others that they fitted the required criteria were fake, just like many of the BDSM chat sites. Personally as is now the case, I was attracted to people with other attributes as well.

Nowadays I am older and more comfortable wearing glasses, there is no getting away from the need for one thing.

I do find glasses and whatever eye condition goes with them fascinating. I know from my own experience, that people can judge that your prescription is ‘weak’ without understanding the complexity of that prescription. I know that having one eye that is long sighted and one short sighted confuses the brain. The simplicity and unpleasantness of being short or near sighted intrigues me. Almost to the point that I can understand those people who try to recreate it.

What is more, I fancy men who wear glasses. But only if they are attractive to me anyway.

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