Nipple (singular)

Blogging A-Z - N

I hadn’t expected that the only two categories beginning with N would involve the word nipple(s). But since that’s what it is, I feel compelled to write about it.

Things in the nipple department feel a lot different now I only have the one. I’m not in love with my remaining boob in the way I was when I had two. My nipple is still pierced and I have new jewellery. But I am tardy with changing it. I have no problems in looking at my body, and do so every day. However I don’t really look at my remaining boob, much less the nipple. I do still self examine, but not as much as I did. I’m on oestrogen inhibitors so I am not expecting anything to appear. Plus I’m sure I’d recognise the signs. No, I always look at my scars, at the way the skin changes colour around them. How well they are healed. The fact you can still see where I had radiotherapy.

Master approaches things from the opposite direction

He still finds my tit and nipple attractive and bought me the new jewellery He loves to touch, squeeze and suck. I love it too, while it’s happening. I do still get off through nipple play. But not as much as before. I’m pretty sure it’s psychological. Something about the breast cancer and mastectomy I’m kind of blocking out. The photos on my blog of me topless since my mastectomy are taken to show I’m happy to be seen. That I’m not ashamed of my body and I’m not. But I struggle to be proud of what remains, and that seems a shame. Maybe I’m too hard on myself.

A new boob

The surgery to get a new boob is huge. I’ve been lucky to make a friend through this blog who has advised me on the reality. Teri contacted me through the blog and I was lucky enough to meet her during Eroticon weekend (even though the event was cancelled we were both in London). The operation is extensive, the recovery long and potential side effects serious. But the time we met, Teri was about 6 months post op. She could finally say she was pleased with it her new boob and the fact she can now go braless. That is a key thing for me too. Right now I don’t feel happy braless. It just feels weird.

Surgery involves taking some of your tummy fat and putting it under the flap that is left of the breast. There isn’t quite enough flesh so people end up with a patch. what you don’t get at this point is a nipple. This is fashioned later and then the area is tattooed. From photos I have seen, the effect looks fabulous. If and when it’s ever done and completed I’m sure my tits will look great again. Especially as one of the things they’ll do is to perk the other one up a bit (middle aged sag etc).

But a painted nipple isn’t really a nipple at all. No baby could be fed from it and there won’t be any feeling in it. This is the hard cold reality. Looks good but feels of nothing. Much like the right side of my chest right now, numb.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful to be cured. Grateful too that these opportunities are available and that I don’t need to pay for them. But that doesn’t take away the sense of loss.

Who knows when?

The current pandemic has thrown routine surgery into the long grass. People requiring mastectomy are currently not offered immediate reconstruction. Those of us whose hospital / surgeons don’t offer that option can’t even get onto a waiting list. But the time this is over they will be months and months behind.

In a way this offers me the opportunity to get my head into an even better place. To decide for sure if I want it done. But also to try to get more enjoyment from the breast and nipple I have. Maybe, during the summer if the weather is right, go braless. In fact I think it’s something I’ll set myself a goal of doing. I don’t love my nipple any more, but I’m going to see if I can’t like it again.

Pegs – not just for clothes

The current Kink of the Week is pegs or clothes pins as they are called in some places. Now, the application of pegs to my body was the first form of pain I inflicted on myself at the hands of another. As I describe in this post, S instructed me to apply pegs to my nipples while we spoke on the phone. It was mainly a long distance relationship and he wanted to exert his control over me. So, many times he instructed me to do things to my body while he listened (and later watched). This was my first introduction to Dominance and submission, and I was surprised at how readily I wanted to comply.

Nipple play

Using pegs on my nipples was the forerunner to the introduction of nipple clamps. Nipple pain for me was a sure fire way of getting me to orgasm, and then some. There was a clear channel between those nipples and my clit. It still exists but having only one nipple things are a bit different, but I digress.

The other thing about using pegs or nipple clamps is that while having them in place is painful, it is their removal that causes pain. But that pain is somehow quite delicious and can last for quite some time.

Master hasn’t used pegs for nipple play, he uses them for something altogether more evil. The Zipper.

The Zipper

Around 8 pegs have been joined together by string, and these applied to the lips of my pussy. Then an evil sadist comes along and pulls the string and off come the pegs. This is absolutely fucking painful. And amazingly fabulous at the same time. This photo was taken early in our relationship, the first few weeks. You’ll see I was shaved, and soon after was instructed to grow my hair. Also there are marks! As I wrote in my previous KOTW I really hardly ever mark! Also look at that post for a glimpse of nipple clamps being used elsewhere!

We haven’t used the zipper for sometime and I don’t wasn’t to make suggestions that I might live to regret but actually it would be good to get to that place again. Yep, pegs in kink play are a damn good thing, plus they are cheap. Plus if really necessary you can even use them later to hang your clothes out too dry. Though maybe not if they are tied together with string!

Electric

He used the violet wand on me from the first time we played. I held a respect for all things electric that made it difficult for me to quite trust the wand at first. My dad was an electrician and the idea of someone torturing me with an electric current scared me a little. Even now, I find it somewhat scary.

But there is no doubting that the violet wand is an amazing bit of kit. It works by turning the electrical current into a low watt, high frequency charge like static electricity. And that is exactly what it feels like when the wand attachments touch my skin. It’s just that it’s a continuous flow of static rather than a short burst.

Soon after we met we attended a workshop at Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar which helped me understand how it all worked. It also helped seeing other subs having the wand used on them. Even so, I still feel a bit anxious when Master is using the wand.

Having said that, the tingling feeling as he brushes the wand attachment over my bare skin is quite wonderful. I find it more relaxing if I am blindfolded and then I start to enjoy the feelings. Since I tend to try to jerk my limbs out of the way, then restraint is also a good idea.

He runs a comb attached to the wand through my hair, brushes down my body, paying attention to my nipple piercing. That often does give me a little jolt. Then onwards down my torso, arms and legs. Combined with other stimulus such as from a vibrator, my nerve endings come alive and somehow I become aroused.

When Master uses the violet wand on me, it is just one of a series of sensations he creates. A small element of the process of pain and pleasure.

This is what I wrote in February 2014 after one of my first experiences:

During that session there was cock worship, there was spanking with various implements, and there was ‘the zipper’ (lots of pegs on my pussy this time which are at an opportune moment quickly pulled off all at once). There was also the violet wand which I both love and hate as the electrical stimulations are painful but in a very erotic way. There were nipple clamps, there was the bit in my mouth and as always there was the hitachi. And there was sex too, particularly the anal sex which always has an effect on my emotional state. But also there was lots of touching – Him touching my body and me his.

Feb 2014

Sadly we haven’t played with the violet wand much in recent times. I know that by writing this, something is highly likely to happen! After all, Master reads all of my blog posts!

Nipples

IMG_3012 (1)

It wouldn’t be right to write a whole series of posts related to my blogging history without mentioning my breasts or nipples. They have been an important element of my kinky life and our relationship. And it would be wrong too, not to mention that since  October 2018, I only have one of each. 

Nipples in sex and foreplay

My nipples were always sensitive and an important area of foreplay for me. I love having my nipples sucked and played with. Feeling the vibrations from the magic wand or the electricity of the violet wand.

In the early days with S I experimented using pegs on my nipples while he and I had phone sex. Nipple clamps were one of the first bits of equipment he bought to try on me. So when I met Master, I was more than ready for a greater level of torture.

S and I discussed me getting my nipples pierced. But that didn’t happen until soon after I got together with Master. I hadn’t felt right before, and anyway the relationship with S became more of a friends with benefits one. But when Master suggested it, I knew I wanted to do it.

Pierced nipples

We had only known each other for 2 months, but things were moving fast. He loved the idea of me modifying my body for him. And although I wanted to do so, it was something I really wanted for myself. So in April 2014, he came with me to the piercer and I had my nipples and clitoral hood pierced. 

Having my nipples pierced only heightened the sensations I felt when they were touched, pulled or sucked. I bought pretty jewellery and later Master bought me a nipple extender – a vicious but spookily enjoyable experience. But, I didn’t always find my nipple piercings easy to manage. Often the jewellery made them sore and so for long periods of time, I tended to leave the same bar or ring in place. Interestingly the right was often more troublesome and often oozed serous fluid. The histology report from my mastectomy said that the nipple was chronically inflamed. 

Post Mastectomy nipple

I think that the worst thing about the mastectomy is not the loss of breast tissue, but of my nipple. I am planning a reconstruction, but any nipple won’t be real, it will have to be a tattoo. 

Of course, though, I still have a nipple and a breast. Somehow it doesn’t quite feel the same. I seem to have lost some of the connection it previously had with arousal and my clitoris. This may be psychological as when Master is playing with it, or sucking it I am often thinking of the lost right one. It may then be about time and finding a new normal. It has only been 6 months and the mind takes longer to heal than the body.

That isn’t to say I don’t want my nipple pinched and squeezed. I do. I am still pierced and do plan new jewellery soon. It’s just that coming to terms with only having one nipple is taking longer than I imagined it would. 

AtoZ2019N

 

 

 

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Wayback when

I have a few photos that were taken before I regularly posted anything of myself. Wayback then, I was a little more worried about showing pictures of myself. Especially those of me in a somewhat compromising situation. Things have changed over the years.

This photo was taken at the very beginning of our relationship, almost exactly 5 years ago. At the end of our second or third playdate (I think). What you can’t see here (and I might show it another day) is my red pussy which had just been pumped. Not only did he clamp my nipples, but also used the zipper and spreader bar. The intensity of pain and of pleasure that day is something I can still remember even though I am short on details. It may have happened wayback when, but this is the first time I have shared this photo here.

February Photofest

T is for …

Torture and tits, sometimes these two things go together.

Torture in our relationship, might be the collective noun for all of the things that Master loves to do to inflict pain but also to give pleasure to his slave. What is more, he has a large collection of implements with which to achieve whatever outcome he is seeking. In those first few days of our relationship when it was all about play, I gave him the name gadget man here on my blog. The fact that he owned so much kinky stuff that could be used on another person was almost mind blowing, especially when you are blindfolded and don’t know what he might pull out of the cupboard next. I have come to both love and hate some of those toys, often in equal measure. The violet wand for example, generating pain and arousal, while crackling with electricity is both thrilling and a little scary. Master loves to explore new ways of making me wriggle, flinch and ultimately orgasm by using different attachments, and by touching different parts of my body and of course piercings. I will often complain, moan that I don’t like something, knowing all the time that I really do get off on it.

He has a number of floggers, paddles, whips and the like, he has leather bindings to tie you up, harnesses, dildos and vibrating things including the wonderful hitachi. Also though he can apply torture with his bare hands, pinching and twisting bits of my body. He also loves to bite and to see the  bruising that appears as a result. Tit torture is a bit of a favourite of us both, and having the piercings makes that all the more possible.

I have always been proud of my tits, they grew when I was pregnant and thankfully never returned to their previous smaller size. They are not too big – I am a 36D `- and have not shrunk down too much since this recent journey into weight loss (I have lost 1.5 stone, or 21lb). They are a little less pert than they were, however. I think this might be a menopause thing, which I am now about 2 years into.  The need for a supportive bra is increasing, however I think I can still get away with Master’s preference of no bra, when we are out and about especially during the summer. My nipples are not huge and so I am happy to give the stretching thing a go, something I plan to do over the coming weeks when I am home alone in the evenings. We’ll see what the results are. The nipple piercings did take time to heal, but now that they have done so I am enjoying trying new jewellery. Pierced nipples have added to the sensitivity of them and also to the enjoyment we both get when Master plays with them. It also gives more opportunity for torture!

A close up

Nipple play

I have been absent from Kink of the Week for a while. I knew Molly was taking over permanently, but hadn’t realised she had created a new home for it. Today though I read Malfic’s post and that led me, well here. Just in time too, since this one ends today!

For a long time I knew that my nipples were important for me sexually; nipple play and orgasm are closely linked. I can almost (but not quite) bring myself off by tweaking, pinching, twisting and generally caressing my own nipples. When a lover does the same thing though it really doesn’t take long. for too long I had no idea quite how important my nipples are to me sexually.

Master has helped change my understanding, partly through my piercings and because he prefers his slave not to wear underwear including a bra where possible when we are together.

Combining the almost constant arousal that the nipple jewellery gives along with the way that those nipples brush against my clothes and it would be true to say that I am always well on the way to an orgasm when I am with Master. Add to that dimension the orgasm control that Master is able to exert over me then we have a situation where very little direct stimulation is required from him and I am giving him an orgasm on the count of 5 (or 10 or how ever many he decides).

Play or sex often starts with Master sucking or pinching His slave’s nipples; it helps get us both into that special place we both want to be. The fact that those nipples are always available to Him definitely helps and is something I am very happy with.

I must admit that since we had the piercings done there hasn’t been much in the way of nipple clamping, and that is maybe something I would like to change. Plus Master has mentioned the idea of stretching my nipples with some kind of gadget He has; I would be up for that.

Damn it, I love my nipples and love to have them played with, I am glad Master feels the same way.

For His pleasure

I haven’t written about much about my piercings and certainly not recently. But events this morning have had me thinking that perhaps I should say something here and now.

My nipples and clitoral hood were pierced in April last year. This was something I had considered in the past, but had not been brave enough to go through with. Having Him with me when I had the procedure done. Knowing how Much He wanted me to get those piercings was the incentive I needed. From the beginning they have been an amazing part of our sex life, giving both pain and pleasure to me. They have enhanced His enjoyment of my body – in terms of power, pain and sexual arousal.

However, there have been one or two problems. The left nipple piercing was a little lower than the right and was always more painful. Changing jewellery was not without its issues and putting a ring in for the first time was complicated. One day, without me knowing the left ring partially fell out and I was unable to get the bar back in. For a couple of months I just had the one nipple pierced. But I am pleased to say, that in November on our most recent trip to Amsterdam I had the left nipple re-pierced. This time it looks and feels right and so far I have had no problems with it. Sadly this means that Master’s desire to link all 3 piercings together by a chain is still a little way off, but I am pretty sure we will get there.

One of the things both of us love, is the way in which I can ride Him and can use the clitoral hood bar to give pleasure to Him. Of course at the same time I am getting something very good in return. He loves also to rub that bar while I grind on Him and bring me off.

This morning though He did something new for us. He used my nipple bar as foreplay for us both, rubbing the tip of His cock, slowly over it. gradually His cock became harder and harder. I contributed by biting His nipple, something He also loves. He used His other hand to stroke me some, exclaiming that I was wet (why wouldn’t I be?) and gradually He brought us both close to orgasm.

He started the countdown to the orgasm, “10”. He was about to demand from His girl. He Masturbated me and Himself at the same time, (how does He do that?). I felt the familiar feelings beginning to flow through me, 9, 8, 7, 6.

At this point I wondered if I would be able to hold off and if I did, whether I would be able to cum as He got to 1 and beyond. But the memory of that cock head on my nipple and the feeling of His fingers on me, brought me to the point – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. He took His hand away and said CUM, just as my hips arched and I felt my cunt throb.

Shortly afterwards we brought Him to orgasm and I was able to claim a lovely breakfast time prize.

Sometimes the simplest things can give the most pleasure and this morning was one of those occasions.

Today

It is a very long time since i felt the need to post twice in a day, but today feels like one to do just that.

To recap, i have been chatting to someone in a chatroom on Alt.com, and since we live within 45 mins of each other (less on a weekend) we decided to meet.

In my last post i was wondering if i should wear jeans or a dress. I wanted the dress and flirt thing, but like a good subgirl  i asked him and he said jeans were fine. This was, it transpired because he wasn’t sure he would fancy me. Plus, he planned some strolling around the village after the pub.

I wasn’t sure myself at the beginning, but as we chatted and he started to stroke my thigh, i started to warm considerably. Our chatting combined the ordinary getting to know you stuff with the kink. As usual i had more to tell than him, but that is just me. he let his hands and looks do the talking.

It was a sunny if cold day and he suggested a walk around the beautiful country village where we had met in the pub.  This village has two churches, one the original and one that the Lord of the manor had built because the old one was perhaps too old! On a winters day this gives ample opportunity for a discussion of kinky likes and dislikes, kisses, and gropes where a man and a woman feel a physical attraction.

Back at the pub, i over ruled my previous diet coke related sensible side and ordered a glass of sauvignon blanc.  As i warmed up and we chatted more, he asked if i wanted to go back to his. i was sorely tempted but remembered my head, which was difficult when he stroked my leg, thigh and groin and of course when he kissed me.

At my car he squeezed my nipple hard though my top and told me how much he wanted me.

I don’t think it will be very long before i explore the potentials a little more.

The great thing is that joolz the sub is hopefully back…….

Life feels good

I haven’t posted here for a few weeks. For once, it isn’t because I don’t want to write something, or because there has been nothing to say. It is just because I have been busy; and in a good way.

I spent part of last weekend with S. After a day of getting on top of home related things (Cupboard clearing part of the preparation for a new kitchen which gets fitted this coming week), I set off. For once, the roads were clear and within 2 hours (trust me that is good going), I was with him. We spent a pleasant evening with some of his friends – BBQ, wine and good conversation – in what will be the last evening out of doors this year.
Back at his we were not late to bed. We were both weary (he had been on a cycle ride during the day and I had as I said been busy in the kitchen), but a few kisses led to some touches and before I knew it, he was inside me. After 3 weeks, it was a wonderful feeling as he pushed inside and stretched me once again. Then as we moved together, as he made me cum and then as he pushed his cock into my tight tight ass. Finally as he came inside me, I felt a huge sense of pleasure and well being. 
In the morning S cooked us some very good scrambled eggs with toast – did I ever say how much he looks after me when I am with him? Yes of course, but it is worth saying that he is a great cook!! So much so that I don’t really like scrambled eggs, but love his!!
The day was beautiful, more like summer than some summer days often are. We spent some time planning a geocaching trip. Then, went back to bed.
This time I put on some underwear. Stockings and suspenders, heels – his favourite kind of thing. Then lay in wait. 
Stroking me, he noted just how wet I was. Wet and wanton. Positioning himself so he could carry on stroking me, he made it clear he wanted me to suck his cock. I took him into my mouth, gradually taking him deeper. Somehow, I was in the optimum position and he slipped further and further down, yet unusually for me, I didn’t gag. Not even once! All the time, he was working my clit, stroking me there, pinching and bringing me to the edge, time and time again. For the first time in maybe months I really let myself sink into those feelings. 
At some point, I requested nipple clamps. But he said he wasn’t quite sure where they were, so applied a human version. There were moments over the next little while when I wondered quite why I had made that request, but as always there was a fine line between pain and pleasure and so pleasure won!
We spent the day out in the beautiful countryside not far from where S lives. Walking, chatting, getting my all time best number of caches in a day. Eating our picnic, drinking our tea. Generally enjoying each others company.
On the way home, it occurred to me that I am just pretty happy right now. Things with S are different to before.  I am not sure how, but they are and what is more they are different in a very good way.