Keep believing

Keep believing

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is: Don’t Stop Believin. But, because I’m such a positive person, I’ve decided my post will be entitled Keep Believing.

I love our community and the way is sticks together and supports each other. Of course we are all different, from our relationships, gender and sexual preferences politics and our take on life. But in the main that doesn’t prevent us from coming together when we need to. I’m especially looking forward to Eroticon at the end of next week and meeting up with friends as well as new people. Putting faces to names is always great fun as is discussing the topics we write about face to face. That includes when a drink or two has been consumed.

But recently there have been undercurrents of unhappiness that not everyone is kind and understanding towards everyone’s differences. So much so that last week a tiny event caused a storm. I’m not going to go into that whole thing, but Rosie wrote a fabulous piece that sums up events. She also includes some very useful links in her post. That should be the end of things, except I’m left with a bad feeling.

Free speech

Indeed for me it isn’t the direct responses to any post. As a writer I can write what I want here and people can read or not. They can also comment, or not. It is rare I don’t publish a comment so if you don’t like what I say I’m not censuring. But it isn’t on blog posts where most disagreement takes place. Instead it is on twitter, often without the subject being part of the conversation.

I’d be the first to admit I struggle to understand the desires and needs of people who are very different to me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t read their perspective with interest. I often don’t comment because I don’t believe I am the right person to do so. I am a middle aged CIS heterosexual woman who doesn’t fancy other women. Nor do I understand how it is to realise you are bi sexual or gay, much less non binary. But I do respect other people’s experiences and love to read about them.

Content warnings

Thankfully I have never suffered physical abuse (though I increasingly see my ex as emotionally abusive). I recently started reading a very well written book that turns out to be all about physical, emotional and financial abuse. I’m finding it difficult to read even though I want to. I’m not triggered, as I’ve never experienced the things that are happening in the book. But it is uncomfortable. I first wrote about content warnings in this post. It was a stupid thing that triggered me, but it did get me thinking and that in my book is a good thing. Since then, when I see one I do consider whether I want to read on. My experience shows that these things can creep up on you.

For me one of the worst things about the episode has been that people describe others as snowflakes or use the term Boomer in a derogatory way. These are things I hate. I’m a Boomer myself and don’t want myself lumped together with people others determined as bigots. Nor do I like millennials called snowflakes since my son is one and I believe him to be sensitive and thoughtful partly because I brought him up that way.

Social media etiquette

Twitter can be an evil and upsetting place. But it can also be a place of support and encouragement. As members of the sex blogging community, we could easily be set upon by trolls who don’t understand or care for our point of view. But instead we choose to attack each other. Personally I want a kinder community than that.

And I will keep believing that is the community we all want. One that is kind, that respects individual difference and people’s desire to be referred to in the way they feel appropriate. A community that acknowledges mistakes and then moves on. Otherwise we are no better than those who would attack us for having the audacity to write about sex or kink. Finally, if you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face even after a drink, then don’t say it on twitter.

Blogging A-Z 2018: M (and #SoSS)

Life has been crazy busy round here. Consequently I haven’t had much time for  the #SoSS meme. This is a round up and shout out to other sex bloggers and came about because of the trend towards censorship and twitter shadow banning. But since I need to write anyway, for the letter M, I have decided to make this a post for both A-Z Challenge and #SoSS.

M is for MentionMarie Rebelle mentioned me today on her round up and I took the word mention from her A-Z.

Some more mentions as follows:

Fellow bloggers have also been doing the April Blogging challenge. I especially like JZ’s. Hers are all about cooking, I urge you to take a look. Her stories are great and there is huge debate on many topics. This one is about the new fangled Instant Pots, which to me are just snazzy pressure cookers. Like JZ I have enough gadgets and prefer slow to fast cooking. I know this isn’t sex, per say but food is very important!

Submissy’s posts are about her life as a submissive, and have enabled her to review some of her previous posts. I intended to do this, but have been too unorganised. That in itself makes her worthy of a visit, but her posts are well worth the read. This one on Head, humiliation and happy ever afters talks about how the ability to switch off from day to day life can be helped through submission.

Charley at Sex blog of sorts expanded on her very good smut marathon entry. Katy the girl who has everything and is fantastic at all she does. Who hasn’t known someone a bit like that. There is a flaw though and reading it from a mum’s point of view and as a nurse would consider post natal depression. Or maybe she really does love her husband more than her child.

I was really disappointed at my smut marathon third round result. I received some great feedback but didn’t score at all. Critics were correct, it was difficult to know which of my characters had the flaw. My mistake was that both did. Still on to the next round.

Hannah Lockhardt is the latest twitter account to be shadow banned. I love her post telling us about the post eroticon adventures she has planned. Plenty future blog material there.

Finally Eye, wrote an amazing piece this week about being owned. I so identify with her about her journey to recognising herself as submissive and it’s effect on her. I love that she is able to express her wants and needs through this post.

Blogger

When I first received the email* I thought it was a scam. Even though we have been warned before about blogger’s intention to sanitise everything – apparently to the extent that even breastfeeding isn’t ok, I really didn’t believe it.

They sent the email, not to my main google account, but to a secondary one that I use for anyone wanting to contact me here. Plus I has an unusual amount of activity from eastern Europe yesterday, which confused me.

Apparently though their intention is to make any kind of erotic or explicit blog private.

It is really only this month that I have posted any photos of myself that are really explicit, though sometimes I have posed photos of others that are freely available. My words though have often described actions in that way. 
But actually that is not the point. Nothing on this blog has ever been really obscene, nor illegal. Plus the blog itself sits behind a warning that this is an adult place.
As far as I can see, we all have the right to express ourselves and should be free to do so.
I am in the process of moving to my own domain, and once that is ready, I will point this blog towards that new place.
Meanwhile; Here is today’s February photofest picture:
Today, I bought a new top.; who knows if this is too much for blogger!