There is a danger in trying to be all things to all people. Sometimes it leaves you upset and stressed. Sometimes too it gets in the way of enjoying special times, like your birthday. What’s more, as happened on Saturday it can lead to arguments rather than sex and a spanking. Yep at the weekend I let family stuff and nonsense get to me!
Friday was my mum’s birthday. I have a love hate relationship with the fact that her birthday is the day before mine. Because for my entire life I have felt overshadowed by it and this year has been no exception. I decided this year to take her to a spa for some beauty treatments and then for afternoon tea. There is no denying that I also wanted the treatments with less than a week to go till our wedding.
But I also knew that she would want her nails done. When I suggested it, she seemed enthusiastic, but a couple of weeks ago had a fall and while not really injured has been miserable ever since. Apparently she has no enthusiasm for anything, including her own and my birthdays and my wedding. In fact she was so rude when I arrived to collect her that I almost went to the spa on my own and had all the treatments for myself. Of course I didn’t.
She actually seemed to enjoy her massages and manicure and I certainly loved my own treatments, a facial and pedicure. But afterwards she nibbled at her cake, complained about her coffee and was generally miserable. As usual I’d somehow done wrong by bothering, or that’s how it felt.
I stayed overnight and travelled home on my own birthday morning. My mood wasn’t helped by my younger brother once again pleading poverty and asking for both money and for me to pay his wedding hotel bill. Not at the same time and so having said yes to the hotel I said no to the money. I stewed over all of this stuff over the ensuing few house. Then despite a lovely dinner out with Master and my son I wasn’t in the best place.
How Master and I ended having such a row while walking home is still a mystery. Alcohol had been consumed over the course of the afternoon and evening which didn’t help. But he definitely has an issue with me telling him the right way home and I often believe myself to be right. This issue has arisen before and while trivial it also cuts deeply into our M/s relationship and will need unpicking.
But for the time being all I can say is that I am sure the stresses of Friday and Saturday led to my own state of mind. I wish I didn’t let family stuff get to me like this, but sometimes it does. On balance it’s better it happened at the weekend and not this coming Thursday. Meanwhile I know Master loves and cares for me as I do him. None of this is getting in the way of our forthcoming nuptials. It just prevented a good spanking and Sinful Sunday photos!