All in the contract

It’s not even August and I’m already writing again – go me! This week’s Kink of the Week is about contracts and since I found out I’ve been thinking a bit about this topic. Although the context of the question is D/S or M/s actually there is much more to this.

None of us are strangers to contracts

Our lives are governed by transactional agreements that may or may not be written down. Work and other formal relationships spring to mind. I don’t currently have a contract of employment because my work is casual. That suits me now, but when I was paying a mortgage and bringing up a child it would.

The way we go about our lives is contractual. When I drive I’m in a kind of contract where I hold a licence to drive in return for keeping within the rules laid down through law and the Highway Code. If I break that contract I could end up in court and get a fine. There are further penalties of course too.

Marriage is a contract of sorts

In under 2 weeks Master and I will stand before the registrar, family and friends and declare our love and commitment to each other. After my marriage broke up I never thought I’d want to do this again. Given that my ex broke our vows within a year or two and I did the same many years later. But I am fully committed and it means the same to me as it did 38 years ago. Yes, it was that long ago.

This relationship is different. For one we communicate far better than my ex and I ever did. But there is also another undercurrent that makes is special. When we commit to each other no one but us will know we already have a different kind of contract.

Our M/s contract was written down

Near the beginning of our relationship we had a written contract. It included acts and behaviours that confirmed that he was Master and I slave. It wasn’t complicated nor was it comprehensive. But neither of us was that good at maintaining it. There are some things that have become habit, others have fallen by the wayside. You see it takes effort on both sides to keep to an arbitrary written contract.

Instead we have something unwritten where the way we act towards each other is consensually agreed to. For example I never come without permission. Nor do I make important decisions without discussing them with him first. Mind you nor does he. He generally takes care of tickets and travel documents as well as organising our trips. Over the years I’ve got better at giving up control over many things in life and so we don’t need a sentence on a document telling me to do it. Master cares for me and keeps me safe and I do most of what he expects of me. Of course that doesn’t mean I’m never referred to as wilful or unruly, because to be frank it’s true. But then that is what makes me the person I am. Someone who pushes the boundaries, in many of the contracts that govern life. Formal or not.