Why I haven’t blogged yet this month

My July blog production has reached a new low. It’s 14th of the month and this is my first post. Most days I’ve not even looked at the blog, nor stats or anything related. For some reason I’ve lost the desire to write here, maybe after 10 years I’ve run out of steam. Maybe also there is little to write about, that hasn’t already been written about or said.

But, I value this place too much to pack up just yet. After all 10 years is a long time and there have been droughts before, often in the summer. This year feels a bit different, because I do want to write, just not anything particularly kink or sex related. This is partly because of the stubborn wound I still have. It’s closing up fast now, but I am still wearing a dressing. So, no sexy photos feel particularly possible. The effects of surgery in March are having an effect on both of us. In many ways I have my identity back. I’m a 2 breasted woman again, hoorah. But in the process I’ve suffered further disfigurement. This has been harder for Master to cope with than for me.

Sight and touch are important senses

At the beginning Master found the very sight of me with my various wounds, in his words, alarming. As the weeks have passed the scars have faded. But I think he tis still struggling to get used to the way my body looks. He still touches me, of course he does. But he is hesitant about feeling my new boob, or foob as people in the small world of breast reconstruction call them. To my mind it looks pretty good, round and pert. But it isn’t like the other one. Plus and crucially whole areas of it have no feeling. But I do want to be touched there.

This is in no way a criticism, but more an understanding of the after effects of this whole process. Breast cancer, mastectomy and now reconstruction. At your peril to you underestimate the effects of all this on yourself and your partner.

In a month we have holiday to look forward to and by then I should be completely healed. We’ll be away, it will be hot and sunny and we’ll be staying in some great hotels. These things usually provide some excellent sexy opportunities. So I’m sure all of this will resolve very soon.

The other big thing on the horizon

Is the wedding! Yep, 4 weeks today will be our big day. Pretty much all the planning is done and everything is in place so we can relax and enjoy our day. After 8 years we’ll not only be Master and slave, but husband and wife. To be honest, there hasn’t been too much M/s, I’ve not really been feeling it. But I’m hopeful about that too.

Planning a wedding has been fun. But also a little frustrating, what with guests not telling us whether they are coming or not. Then us finding out they aren’t through others. But all of that is behind us. If people, even quite close family members don’t want to shard our day then that’s up to them.

Earlier in the year I was worried that the budget I’d set wouldn’t be enough so I raised it. Yep, there is a spreadsheet involved. I’m glad I detailed every bit of expenditure from the start because it’s really helped. I’m pleased to say I’ll come in under the initial budget.

This is going to be an opportunity for us to see family and friends it hasn’t been possible to get together with for a long time. Also to have people together to celebrate with us. I’m hoping for good weather because that will mean we can be married outside. Something I’ve always thought would be great to do. But whatever I know it will be a special couple of days at the hotel and a wonderful event.

You’ll have to excuse me writing on this topic in the coming weeks, right now it feels a little all consuming.

So there you have it. The reasons I’ve not been blogging. Hopefully this post will spur me on!