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Getting Dumped

A scene taken from some hills on South Coast of England. Town and sea in the distance.
Taken on one of our walks

Not once, but twice. As I’ve mentioned before in this series, and at other times, S was a man with a bucket list. He saw me as an opportunity to fulfil some of the items on his kinky wish list. He also had a romantic idea of finding himself a soulmate and I wasn’t she.

But damn it, I’d gone 51 years through life and never been dumped by any man. Now I let the same man do it twice. That still grates a little, however he did me a great service and so I’ve definitely forgiven him. I’ve spent a week writing about this relationship, even though it lasted less than 2 years. That’s because it was defining. It made me see that my marriage really was over and it prepared me for what was to come. Meeting Master.

Summer 2013

We went out for a lovely walk on the cliff top and then into some woods.

“On this occasion, I was cuffed, clamped and tied to a tree while he pushed his cock inside me. Once we found an optimum position for me to get into he slid in easily and then when he stroked my clit at the same time, I came quickly and with some force.

Afterwards we sat and ate strawberries, we chatted and all seemed well. Then we set off for home.

On the way back, I was thinking about how wonderful our relationship seemed to be, how good the sex was and how easy we were with each other.

It was only a couple of hours later that my bubble was burst”.

See what I mean, he got what he wanted, fed me strawberries and then while we sat out in his garden he told me he was seeing someone else!

“I drove home much of the 115 miles with tears either stinging my eyes or with them running down my face. I was upset and confused, but not angry. There had been little time before I needed to leave and he needed to go out to talk. What is more, words were difficult to find. Being given the things in the goody bag that essentially belong to me was bizarre. After all, when will I ever want to get them out again? I bought them for him, my Dom and now I have no Dom (they were my thoughts).”

But his new relationship didn’t last and just a couple of months later we were seeing each other again. It was different though. The kink side was bedroom (or some outdoor place) only. But that didn’t stop me slipping back into complacency.

January 2014

This time (it’s over) for good.

When S and I resumed our relationship last August, it was always likely to be a temporary thing. A friends with benefits kind of arrangement was what we agreed. During that time we have made the most of that dynamic and things have been good. But I was always aware that he was looking for a long term relationship and that he felt that I was not the one for that (I am inclined to agree with that assessment, though at times let my emotions get the better of me).

However I was not quite expecting him to find that special person so soon after our New Year together. Hell I hadn’t even told my blog the funny parts of that trip, nor had I expressed anything about the difficult phone call I had with my husband and the lies I told him.

But, apparently he has met someone and he thinks that she is going to be ‘the one’ for him. I want him to be happy, and from the sound of things, she may well be able to do that for him.

So that is it for us”.

I’d spent New Year with him. Bucket list item was sex at midnight, which I’m not complaining about. Then before he dumped me we went out for a very long walk, with geocaching (something he got me into). I was wet and muddy as I dropped him off before going home. I can’t remember if he told me then or the next evening on a Skype call. Which shows it no longer matters. What was very clear though, was that it was over. There was no going back.


Since then he’s had some short and long relationships. He also got involved in some risky behaviour that made me glad I was no longer on the scene with him.

I have no idea if he regrets how he treated me. From time to time he pops up on messenger or something for a little chat, but I have no intention of seeing him again. I’m pledging here not to mention him on this blog again. I’m putting him to bed (as it were) and moving forwards.

By Feb 1st 2014 I had met Master. That will be tomorrow’s post!

4 thoughts on “Getting Dumped”

  1. Not the same situation, but I was involved with someone in a pretty intense (and emotional) D/srelationship who essentially left/ghosted; I gave him a second chance and it happened a second time. I spent a while kicking myself for that, but – like you – I learned from it.

    I’m sending that you are bothered by the amount of time you’ve “given” to S so far in your A-to-Z, but if it has helped to lay out and/or re-examine what you experienced and learned, I think that’s a Good Thing. And if there is a time in the future when you need to reflect on this relationship again, I hope you will allow yourself to do so.


  2. Thanks Feve, I have thought about the time aspect, but came to the same conclusion as you, he was an important part of my life and directly influenced what happened next. As for mentioning him again. Never say never I guess xx

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