This week’s No true way asks if it possible to be a submissive and a feminist. I’m pretty sure there are people out there who would be horrified at the idea that I have agreed to be Master’s slave and am willing to submit to him. Not to mention that I have willingly given my limits into his safekeeping and that essentially he has the last word on most things in our life.
Feminism as a social construct
Feminism as a social movement believes that society favours males and their point of view over females. Feminists argue that stereotypes promote inequalities in education, work, interpersonal relationships and other aspects of life. There is no doubt that it is easier to be a man in many areas of life, even in 2022. Nor that stereotypes exist, heaven knows that assumptions of how women and men, girls and boys should act and behave abound. But feminist views themselves can be stereotypical. Even down to the assumption that sex and gender themselves are clear cut.
Let me say right here that I believe in equality. We all deserve equal chances in life, but sadly the reality is very different. There are an enormous amount of variables that dictate the life chances of a child born today. Their assigned sex, gender, race, living conditions, family circumstances, family income to name a few have a bearing. It’s an absolute certainty that equality doesn’t exist in the way it should. But even if it did, I still retain the right to decide if I wish to participate in a D/s or M/s relationship.
Submission as a choice
I’m not going to get into a nature nurture thing here regarding submission. There are definitely traits that I identify with that makes me desire to submit. At the same time Master has traits that mean that he leans towards dominance. However just as you can be feminist and desire to submit, so you can be submissive and need to be dominant in certain situations. There is nothing wrong with that, indeed it is necessary to get through life.
My need to submit to Master and his to possess and own me have no bearing on our fundamental beliefs of equality. Instead this is all about choice and about consent. I have chosen to be Master’s slave and consented to give him control over certain aspects of our life together. We don’t tend to revisit these often as our relationship is established and our desire to maintain our relationship this way unlikely to change. What I don’t do is submit to any man or anyone else for that matter. It is reserved for this one person in our specific relationship.
Living life in the way we do makes me feel happy and safe. I know the areas where I maintain full control and those where I park it at the door. Of course there will always be grey areas, but that’s where communication comes in. I see no contradiction in holding feminist views and being a submissive slave in a M/s relationship.