Is it possible for a dominant to recognise a submissive at first sight? Using some kind of instinct? Indeed is the opposite true? Is it possible for a submissive to recognise a dominant from a crowd of people? This is the topic for this week’s No True Way.
When we met Master already knew of my submissive leanings, or claims. But he does say that he recognised and felt my submission on that first date. Whether that’s true or something that he wants to believe I’ve no idea. Because I don’t really think it’s that easy to tell, in most people. I’d hazard a guess that what he found in me was an attraction and arousal, because I know that he fancied me. Still does in fact, which I find hard to grasp, but that’s another story. Master’s preference is for a submissive woman and in me he found what he was looking for. But there are definitely other aspects to our relationship that have turned out to be just as important. We wouldn’t still be together if submission was the only thing.
I’ve been to lots of events where people where symbols of submission or dominance. Michael mentions this in his post on this topic. Tattoos, collars, fetish wear give clues to the people we meet at kink events etc. Though you would be wrong to think every person wearing a collar was a submissive any more than every leather clad person a dominant. But get chatting, watch behaviours and you’ll get to know a little of the dynamics of others.
But as with any relationship you are not part of you won’t ever know the reality of what happens when those people are alone. I’d be surprised if anyone outside of my circle of kink friends know the nature of mine and Master’s relationship. I come across as quite a dominant person, though that really is a safety blanket I wrap around myself. I have become really good at hiding my hesitancy and my unwillingness to make decisions. But that’s how we navigate life.
I’m glad I am Master’s slave, his submissive. I’m glad we saw that in each other, but I’m more grateful that we found a desire to be together and to have all of the relationship we had. Not just the kink and definitely not just the M/s.