Light, Love and Loyalty

Just lately you are lucky if you get one post a week out of me. I struggle to find the words for my blog when I seem to write so many for work. Plus life has got generally busier and when I have down time it isn’t my laptop that I’m reaching for. These aren’t excuses, because I know when I’m ready the words will flow. Meanwhile this post is an amalgamation of thoughts for Quote Quest and No True Way. Bear with me while I try to make them somehow coherent.

Light and dark

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness”

Anne Frank

I love this time of year for its long days and light evenings. Especially I love those times when it’s possible to sit outside in the garden long after dark and just enjoy the sense of night falling. Add to that a candle, maybe to keep the insects away and that would be my perfect thing. The way the bird song quietens and silence embraces me, so much that even the extrovert me has no need to speak. Sadly we haven’t had many of those this year, it’s been too cold.

But metaphorically too our evenings have been filled with noise in a way they aren’t always. With few places to go still we are at home in the evenings with the TV on. This was until last year a strange phenomena for us. We were out so much. It is hard to think about how much life has changed, the things we have missed doing and places we haven’t seen in so long. At the same time we have learned to appreciate small things in our life. The ability once again to visit a pub or restaurant. To go away for a weekend, to see and smell the sea. To take a walk in the countryside and enjoy the flowers and birds. So many great things that you don’t see when you are rushing around taking life for granted.

The countdown to our holiday continues and we leave a week on Monday for a prolonged trip around Spain and then on to France. I think that’s when we will settle into a lifestyle where we can constantly see and enjoy new things, while at the same time taking a break from the mundane. I for one can’t wait for that.

Love and Loyalty

You will never find a more loyal lover than a submissive. Their hearts burn in an altogether different level

What a load of rubbish that statement is. Love and loyalty have nothing to do with being submissive or not. They are human traits and behaviours and the bearer of them may well be loyal, or not. Submission in my opinion comes from within but isn’t present all of the time, not for me anyway. Love, trust and loyalty are earned and can be destroyed in a flash. You can be as submissive as you like but if a dominant does something to ruin the trust you have in them then loyalty goes out of the window.

I love Master. We have been together for 7½ years and have been through a lot in that time. I am loyal to him as he is to me, but I don’t believe it has much to do with our M/s dynamic. It is true that elements of our relationship, especially during play, require a higher level of trust. But it isn’t my submission or his dominance that make that possible. Rather it’s that we have proven to each other that trust is possible.

My love for him is different than I experienced with my husband. Though at one time I loved the latter with all my heart, until the trust was broken and he proved himself disloyal. This time around I went in with my eyes open. During those first months there were some extremely difficult times, when the relationship could have gone either way. But by communicating and expressing ourselves openly to each other we got through. That wasn’t easy, as neither of us were used to being quite that open with another person. Over the years we have tried not to make the mistakes of the past, to be together but also to give each other space. We are also older, mature if not necessarily always wider. But for many reasons we need to make this continue to work.

Our dynamic; my submission and his dominance are important. But they aren’t the only elements of our life that contribute to our love life nor our loyalty to each other.