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Once is enough

A French harbour at sunset.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”

Mae West

Next year it will be 10 years since I decided that there had to be more to life than the one I was living and it’s 3 years since I made the biggest move of my life. When I left the former marital home and moved in with the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with. Over that 10 year period I’ve learned to make sure that living once will definitely be enough.

I’m fortunate to be in a position to live the best life I can. I’m privileged to have sufficient money to live, not to need to work, though I do and to be safe and secure. I know not everyone is in this position. Indeed, I know what it is like not to be and feel that I am living my life well. But I also believe that you have to take charge of your own destiny if you can. That opportunity arose for me and I feel I have taken the bull by the horns (as it were).

Of course, I’ve made mistakes along the way, lots of them. Many of them documented in this blog, indeed it acts as a diary of sorts of my progress through the years. The past 18 months has been a trial for us all and certainly put a major cap on living life to the full. I am cautiously optimistic now though that a new kind of normal life will start to emerge.

Looking forward rather than backwards

I’m not sure that looking back is helpful, whether that’s my before married life or even pre pandemic. It feels better to look forwards and plan life a fresh. There are of course things that we did before that we would like to do again, for example going to cultural events and those that are a bit more on the kinky side. But I don’t really know how that looks and feels at the moment. Anyway, I’m not sure I want to do the same stuff with the same people as before. People have changed and a willingness to take perceived risks has changed along with it.

That includes me. I don’t want to be in crowded place, with or without a mask. I don’t want to mix with people I don’t really know and I’m not massively scared or risk averse in general. Plus I prefer to do my socialising (if I do any) outdoors at the moment.

Having said that we are about to get back to our travelling ways. That will lift our spirits and hopefully give us both back the feeling of living life to the full.

Holiday plans

I think the best thing about my new life is the fact that I can take long trips and explore new places. This year has been different of course. We were locked down completely till April and also I’ve been working since January. Now though I have 2 months off work and at last we are free to travel. I’m very keen to get over to France to check on the apartment, and also I want to get ready to sell it. We are planning to get something a bit bigger that we can potentially spend more time in and also entertain guests.

We took a punt on booking a crossing via Spain as they relaxed rules for vaccinated people sooner. Master has been busy planning a holiday for us in Northern Spain before we cross into France to spend time in our own place. As the time approaches I am getting more excited about this trip than I thought I would be.

We’ve taken a couple of short breaks on the South coast here in England over the past couple of months, which have been amazing. But this feels like such an adventure. An opportunity to re-energise and get our mojos back. Something that has been completely lacking. The less we have done, the less we have wanted to do. Master particularly has struggled to want to do much at all. Hopefully though this is about to change.

We have the chance to live life again, but in a safe way with the added bonus of warm sunny weather and new places to see.

I know I’m amazingly lucky to have this life. To be able to brush off the worries of the continued pandemic and start to live again. But I really want to make living once feel that it is enough. I believe I deserve it (as of course does everyone).

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