“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection” Brené Brown
I have exposed the vulnerable side of myself as a submissive more than I ever did before. Within this relationship I have allowed another person to take control in a way that I didn’t know possible and in the process the connection I have with my partner is probably much greater too. But I’m not sure that you have to expose your vulnerability to experience connection. It just happens to be the case for me within the context of our Master / slave relationship.
I don’t find letting go easy. There are usually thoughts of some kind running through my head even as I lie across a bench waiting for my backside to be thrashed. Or indeed as I lie in bed just as Master is about to use me. I guess that is human nature. During straight sex I probably never properly focused on the job in hand. Maybe that’s why my emotional connection with my ex suffered. The sex wasn’t great and all too often I willed it to be over. Not something I do now.
For a start Master attends to my pleasure just as much as he does his own. I feel it is my job (as it were), to focus on my Lord and Master and to allow myself to relax into my submission. To concentrate on what I am doing or is being done to me. But to be honest I’ve found that difficult these past months.
We haven’t really focused on our dynamic but have been instead just living each day (as you do). There is nothing wrong with our connection, since that’s there anyway. But equally there isn’t much to be vulnerable about. What’s more there have been precious few opportunities for kink and neither of us has gone out of our way to look for it.
Having said that, we are perfectly happy in our relationship and there is nothing wrong. But a bit of vulnerability on my part and masterfulness on his wouldn’t go a miss sometime soon!